Chapter 1: My hands in your hair

Legosi stared at Tem as the two did their stretches. It was hard for him not to stare when he was dealing with the other animal. No matter how hard Legosi tried to keep a calm and level head when in the company of herbivores, he always found himself falling into a sense of reverence when in the presence of a select few. Tem was one of those few.

Tem was a straight forward and accepting guy who didn't seem to care for the divide that society tried to force upon them. It was a strange stance for an herbivore to have in this world. They were so fragile compared to their carnivore brethren. It made it impossible for Legosi not to feel for them.

'I wonder, what's it like… to live with that fear in the back of your mind. These claws and fangs are a burden, I wish I could know what it was like to be without them.'

Legosi looked at his hands, and then to Tem. "Hey, is Alpaca wool any different from sheep's?"

Tem cocked an eyebrow. "Where'd that come from?"

Legosi scratched the back of his head. "Sorry, I...uh didn't mean to be rude."

Tem waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it, I was only joking. But alpaca wool is definitely softer and more delicate." He rand a hand through it. "You can touch if you want."

Legosi's eyes widened. "Uh, a-are you sure?"

The alpaca giggled at his friend. "Of course! I wouldn't offer otherwise."

The wolf swallowed thickly. It had been a long time since he had been in physical contact with another animal that was not Jack or one of his dorm-mates (and he kept that to the minimum), and that made it slightly nerve wracking, add in the fact that this would be the first time that he was close to an herbivore like this… well it was safe to say that he was more than a little jittery.

'My hands are sweating', he observed in the hollows of his mind. 'Am I truly that afraid of myself? I know that these hands can hurt, but do they have to?'

Tentatively he reached out a single clawed finger. He didn't want to hurt Tem, after-all herbivores were fragile creatures. The feeling of the wool between his fingers was unlike what he had imagined. It was so soft, there was not a single patch of coarseness to it.

Without thinking he allowed his entire hand to run along Tem's neck. "I wish I could lay on this."

"Hey, only lovers get to do that." Tem teased.

Legosi flushed. "I didn't mean it like that!"

"Hey, hey calm down, I was only joking. You can lay on me if you really want to."

"Are you serious? You don't have to let me do something like that." Tem shook his head with a laugh.

"Actually I love it when people lay on me, but here in school there's no one that I can do that with. I'd rather do it with Els, sure, but I don't have that luxury right now, and I really miss this feeling."

Legosi pulled Tem into a hug, running both of his hands through that soft layer.

'To think that you would share this with me. Am I worthy of this?'

Tem bit his lip. He was not lying when he said he was used to physical affection. His family had always been big on it back home, and it was his coping mechanism when it came to dealing with situations where his usual abrasive manner failed him.

Of course at the school there was no one that he could confide in about it. His dorm-mates were leery of anything like that, labeling it as "gay", and he didn't have a girlfriend to cuddle up with. He was touched starved.

Every stroke of Legosi's hands through his wool sent shivers of pleasure rushing down his spine. He had been waiting on this for so long, and now he did not regret jumping at it at the first opportunity. In truth he was afraid of the wolf's claws on the instinctual level. He knew that Legosi would never hurt him willingly. At the same time his body refused to make the same connection that his mind had made.

Tem willed himself still, relaxing into the embrace, and enjoying those rough hands. "I might have to let you do this more often."

Legosi looked down at his friend. Tem was nearly in his lap at this point, yet he could not let him go. It felt so right to have Tem this close, to enjoy this unexpected moment of intimacy. There was nothing ulterior about it either. He simply wanted to take in this feeling.

'What is this warmth? This emotion coursing through my veins. All from a simple touch… that leaves an impression that I can't comprehend. What does it feel like for you, Tem? Is it intoxicating for you, or is this just a one way connection?'

Tem snuggled into Legosi unconsciously. The large claws treading over his skin were gentle, only scratching lightly. 'What would the others say about this? Does this look like people imagine the relationship between a carnivore and an herbivore? Do I look like prey in your arms Legosi-kun? Are you thinking of eating me?'

"Legosi-kun, we have to get up. Everybody might wonder why we're still in here." Legosi nearly jumped out of his skin, and practically threw Tem off of him. "Sorry, I didn't mean-"

Tem recovered quickly and put a finger to Legosi's lips. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I actually liked those scratches, I just don't want anyone getting the wrong idea is all." He rubbed his neck sheepishly. "Maybe we can do it again sometime."

There a brief beat of silence, then Legosi chuckled in his adorably awkward manner. "I'd like that."

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Tem walked toward the benches near the fountain. It was one of his favorite spots to sit and think. His brazen attitude actually made it hard for him to make friends with other herbivores (Carl and the ones in the Drama Club notwithstanding), and that caused him more than a little grief. Being an outcast was something that he was used to and understood, and it was part of the reason that he had become so friendly towards carnivores. Herbivores always saw carnivores with a glint of prejudice. Their instincts would not let them forget that the other animals were their natural adversaries, creatures seeking to devour them. He was not one of those who prescribed to such beliefs, and he had a penchant for getting carnivores to open up.

Nonetheless, this ability did not serve him when it came to girls. He had always been shy around girls, no matter the species. It was hard to tell in the Drama Club because he had been exposed to those girls for a long time, and thus didn't freeze up on them nearly as much as he used too. However, he could not talk to any of them about hi romantic interests, and he DEFINITELY couldn't talk to Els.

He had written the letter so he wouldn't have to talk to her. He was no good with these feelings that had become pent up within his chest. He hated this, being unable to simply say what needed to be said.

He spotted Els sitting down on one of the benches, a blissful smile on her face. He glanced at the letter in his hand, addressed to the young goat, and adorned with a single heart. His pulse is racing.

Can I do this? Can I finally let my feelings be known? Will you see me with eyes of love, Els?

Els spotted him and waved. "Hey, Tem-kun. You're a little late aren't you?"

Tem waved back. "Sorry about that. I got a little tied up helping Carl-kun out."

Els giggled and patted the bench, motioning for Tem to sit down. "That's fine. I'm just glad that you actually showed up."

Tem took the offered seat. His hands were getting a bit clammy despite the ease with which he handled himself. "You know I'd never leave you hanging."

"Of course you wouldn't. You're too much of a nice guy to do that."

'Have you always had such a pretty smile Els? Is it something that you share with the world, or is it something that you only show to those you love with all your heart?'

"I'm glad you think I'm a nice guy." His own voice felt so hollow. He was only speaking empty words that would lead him to the ones that mattered.

"I know you're a nice guy, but that doesn't explain why you asked me to come here." Her voice was coy, almost begging him to breakdown right in front of her, and spill what he had hidden within himself for so long.

Not trusting himself to speak Tem handed Els the letter. She took a shocked breath. It seemed that she had not expected this of him. She, like everyone else, was fooled by his cool and calm outward demeanor.

"Tem-kun is this-?"

He nodded. "I never knew how to say it to you, so I wrote this. Please read it and give me your answer."

Els' eyes dipped. There was a sadness in them, though it was small. "I'm not surprised that you like me. I suppose I was just waiting for you to say something. I never expected that you'd be old fashioned about it and write me a love letter."

Tem beamed. "So you like me too?"

Els flinched at the eagerness of his words. It was always hard to be a roadblock to people like Tem. It was always hard to deny people who were so genuine in their actions. That was the kind of person Tem was, and it would have been enough to sweep most girl off their feet. Els' was not most girls. She was not caught up in only his brazen personality. She wanted someone that she connected to, and in truth she had never really spoken to Tem outside of Drama Club, and the few times she had, they had never been able to find common interests. Maybe she was reading into this to deep.

"Tem-kun I can't take this." she shoved the letter back to him. "I don't like you like that. I think we're friends but not particularly good ones. Maybe we should try to work on that."

Tem simply gazed on blankly for a few scant moments, as though her words had broken some part of him. Then, as quickly as the episode came over him, it was gone, and he was smiling sheepishly. "Oh, man I really thought I had a chance with you." There was deep sincerity in his voice, and though his face flushed with embarrassment, one would be hard-pressed to say that he had taken the rejection to heart.

"Nope," Els replied, popping the 'p' for good measure. "I got my eye on someone else. But I'd really like to become better friends. After all you are really fun to hang out with."

The conversation devolved into talk of manga and anime, and Drama Club gossip. To any passing by it would look as if the two were simple friends chatting it up about whatever. The only evidence that they had even spoken of crushes and love, was the letter that Tem clutched desperately in his hand.

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Tem stood in the locker room, alone and waiting. There was a painful throb in his chest, a throb that squeezed his lungs and stabbed at his heart.

'So this is rejection. It... hurts. How can people go on with this pain in their hearts? It this what it means to love?'

It was quiet, the only sound that filled the air was the buzzing of the lights. Tem closed his eyes trying to calm down. Even though he had prepared himself for this eventuality, the real thing was crushing.

"Are you ok, Tem-kun?"

Tem's eyes pooped open and he spun around, coming face to face with Legosi. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Sorry! I didn't mean to. I thought I was loud enough that you'd hear me, but I guess you were distracted."

Tem sighed. "Just a little, today hasn't been the greatest. "

Legosi walked to his locker, rummaging through it. "Something happen?"

Tem flinched, and for a long moment he considered lying. He really wanted to avoid this new sore point, yet Legosi wasn't the type to talk to others about this, so taking to him wouldn't hurt. "I gave Els-chan the letter."

"But you still have it." Legosi said confusion etched in his face.

"She gave it back and rejected me."

"Oh," Legosi said lamely.

"Yeah, that's how I felt."

An awkward air settled over the two. Legosi knew that he should probably comfort Tem, at least that's what he thought. He had never been in this position before. He was an emotionally distant person. He never sought to form connections with others, and he only did the minimum to keep the ones he had.

"You want a hug?" Legosi cringed inwardly as the words left his mouth.

"Huh?"

Legosi twiddled his fingers, feeling more than a little embarrassed. "D-do you want a hug? I mean it's ok if you don't, I just thought that maybe-"

Tem crashed into Legosi, slender arms wrapping around his waist, and face buried in his stomach. Legosi bent down to adjust, embracing his friend, and bringing the alpaca into his chest.

"I wish I could tell you I knew how you felt." The wolf said softly. "But, I've never had anyone I felt that way about. I've always been content to be alone."

Legosi's hand began roam once more through that luscious sea of silkiness, and Tem felt that ache begin to recede. He snuggled into grey fur.

"Hang on, let's get more comfortable." Legosi adjusted them once more. He sat down and took Tem into his lap with his back against his chest. Tem didn't resist. "I'm sorry I'm acting like a girl." He mumbled, face red.

"It's fine." Legosi ignored the tension building between them. "I don't want you to be sad, and if this helps then..." Tem chuckled. He ran his hands along Legosi's face, scratching his cheeks.

"Thank you."

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A week passed uneventfully, and as it passed Tem and Legosi fell into their own pattern. Their cuddle sessions became a daily occurrence. They never spoke about them, and rarely spoke during them, they simply took in each other. In those hidden moments, emotions boiled under the surface, smothered beneath a veneer of social ineptitude, and willful ignorance.

With each day of laying in each others arms, what was once a simple spark, easily put out and put aside, began to grow. On one particular day Tem texted Legosi.

T- Hey, wanna meet up tonight L- Sure, but where r we gonna go?

Tem put his hand to his chin. 'We could meet up by the fountain and sit on one of the benches. But someone might see us and think we're gay or something. But do I even care about that? I mean, we cuddle all the time now, and somebody could have seen us before and I didn't care.'

T- Let's meet by the fountain L- ok :)

Later on, as the sun was setting Tem made his way to the fountain. It was warm as the sun beamed down. He sat on the bench and waited. It wasn't long before he saw the tall, hunched figure of Legosi walking toward him.

The wolf waved. "Hey Tem-kun."

Tem pat the bench, "Hey Legosi-kun. Sit down so we can talk."

Legosi took a seat. "So, uh, what'd you wanna talk about?"

Tem played with some of his neck wool. "Well, I wanted to talk about you and me."

Legosi was visibly confused by that. "You and me?"

"Yeah, I wanted to talk about us. I mean you've really been there for me lately, and I kinda overreacted to the whole situation with Els-"

"I don't think you overreacted. I've never been in love or had a crush, so my opinion might not be the best, but I don't think you were wrong for how you felt."

Tem sighed. 'Legosi, you really are a nice guy, but no one sees that. The herbivores see you as a dangerous animal that wants to eat them, and the carnivores see you as a weakling because you're not aggressive. No one sees you for you.'

"Yeah I know. I just can't help but feel bad. I don't wanna be a burden on you."

Legosi put a hand on Tem's shoulder, and smiled – small but genuine -. "I don't think you're a burden. In fact, you're helping me better understand other people."

"Well, I'm glad that I'm helping. You've always been a pretty awkward guy."

Legosi looked down in embarrassment. "Yeah, I know." he paused, taking in the heat of the summer night. He loved this time of year; it was beautiful, and the chirping of crickets brought a calmness to him.

Tem put a hand on his knee. "Hey, don't be like that. It's not a bad thing that you're awkward. People are like that, and I know you can change. You'll get better with time."

"I hope so. I really want to make more friends, but I'm a large breed carnivore." a bitter laugh left the wolf's mouth. "I wish I was born an herbivore." "Huh? Why would you wish for that?" Legosi stared at his hands, examining them as though he were seeing them for the first time. "Being a carnivore means that others find me dangerous, especially herbivores. In fact you're the only one that hangs out with me outside of the Drama Club."

"You shouldn't worry about what other people think of you. You gotta learn to be yourself, and the people who want to be friends with you will reach out."

"Jack always tells me things like that. He's always trying to cheer me up because I get depressed really easy. It helps a lot to have him, but I wish he wasn't the only one that understood me."

Tem leaned back against the bench, head tilting into the air, observing the stars that twinkled in the stillness of the sky. "Well, you've gotta be more willing to let others in, and stop getting lost in your thoughts."

His friend scoffed in reply. "I wish it was that easy."

"I never said it was easy. Everything takes time, but you gotta be willing to put in the work for it. I mean look at me. I was horrible when I first started acting, and now I'm getting roles right next to Louis."

Mirth filled Legosi. It hard being himself. He had gone through so much as a child, which made him hold on to moments like these. Happiness did not last in his life. "If you found your place on the stage next to Lois, then maybe I can find my own place."

A cool breeze blew through. Tem took in the scent of rain from earlier in the day. "Hey, Legosi-kun… wanna go out tomorrow?"

"Uh, sure, we can go out. Where do you wanna go though?"

Tem took a deep breath, gathering his courage. "Let's go out to a restaurant and get dinner together."

Confusion spread across Legosi's face. "You wanna get dinner with me?"

Tem nodded.

"Why?"

Tem blushed, twiddling his thumbs. "Well, I was hoping that we could go on a date."

Legosi's jaw dropped. "Wh-what?"

Tem scrunched his red and heated face. "I'm asking you out."

"I get that, but why? Why would you wanna go out with me?" Legosi's voice was soft and unsure.

"Well… these past few days you've been helping me. It made me feel better about the whole Els thing, plus I liked it when you cuddled with me." The flush on Tem's face deepened. "I told you before that I've never been in love or had a crush. I don't really know what to do. Are you sure you want me to go out with you?" "If I'm being honest, I really don't know." Tem stood up, walking toward the fountain.

Legosi followed.

The alpaca put his hand into the waters. It's chill spread through him soothing him. "Ever since I started letting you touch my wool and lay with me, I've been craving this closeness. I don't know if I like you in that way. I feel like I have a crush on you, but I've never been interested in guys before."

Legosi placed a hand on Tem's shoulder. "If you're sure, we can do it. You're really nice to me, and I don't know if I like you like that either. I'll still give it a try though."

"I appreciate that."