"...So what's it like, Mia?" Zoe asked with a dry throat. "...Knowin' you have somewhere else to go."
She looked to her right. Mia gripped the other side of the bars, sat up on her knees, lookin' like she was made of ink and shadows with her hair hanging in her face. She only breathed, first.
And then, with another breath, she eked out, "Somewhere else to go - …"
It was thin; cracked at the edges, patterin' out at the end like a pigeon's takeoff.
With a tilt of Zoe's head, she made out Mia's face; her eyes were shut, and her lips were thinned.
She knew exactly what she'd heard and what she wanted to say. Zoe, too, shut her eyes at the clenching around her heart.
'S for the best, Zoe.
Either way, it's conveyance of hope.
...Her eyes dragged down to a hand wrapped around a bar.
She wanted to hold it, and turned her head back forward to the wall of the basement, sludge on the walls lit orange-and-brown by the low light, hopin' to put the thought out-of-sight, out-of-mind; took one breath out through her nose that battered out mayhaps just a bit too loud to expel it.
Mia knew she smoked. Surely she wouldn't ask.
It worked.
"...I don't think I can go back," Mia said, with a cadence that stumbled and faltered. Zoe shut her eyes again, brow furrowing and the clenching pulsing tighter with a jab, slow-releasing; no, no… don't think that way.
Even if maybe she was right.
Mia had, after all, told her everything.
She slumped down the bars; knocked her head back against them, in the name of moving it without turning it again.
"You - have - somewhere else to go," she repeated, feeling ripples in the tightness of her own voice; her chest collapsing in forcing out the words. She winced at knocking her head back again. Stay on the damn point, Zoe…! "'M not just talking about Ethan - "
But if she was, then would Mia be right…?
" - you got more friends and family back in Texas, don't you…?"
In spite of herself, she looked again after all, lashing out inside not at herself, but at the thought that it was the best way - to make sure her face sold insistence.
It was a mistake.
Mia's face was almost calmly grave. She blinked, once. Lowered her eyes; turned her face aside.
Zoe bit her lip, the pressure in her chest drawing in to a peak, her heart spiking faster-sharper hits behind it. She thought, for a second, that she was gonna say that was wrong after all, and then she'd suddenly be out of things to say.
'Less she wanted to talk about Ethan.
Instead, Mia nodded, stiffly.
Straight-away, relief started pouring lukewarm over Zoe, brow-first.
Was enough of a change in the feel of things to relax her muscles, slowly.
" - You're right," Mia said. "...N - no, Zoe, I know; you're right… "
The lukewarm began to set in cooler .
Then cold .
It sat that way.
...She smiled.
Reckoned that was all the more a sign she'd said the right thing.
'S fine, Zoe.
'S not like she's gonna miss you, or anything, when she's outta here…
"There's a world outta here, all right…?" Zoe'd managed to warm up her voice, soon.
It frayed and burnt at the edges; tapered off into wisps of smoke.
You gotta remember that for yourself, too.
You ain't ever known much more than this town.
She isn't the only way you're ever gonna remember what 's like not to be all on your own.
"You're right…" Mia continued to nod; repeat, wispily. "You're right… You're right… "
The relief cooled further into resignation.
Zoe's mouth slanted; her breath tightened.
...She shut her eyes one last time.
One more wince.
Her hand moved… slowly; head turnin' away once more as if she was bracing herself for the sting of a needle.
Mia's hand was warmer than expected, when hers wrapped around it - 'less that was just the edge of the sting of her failing herself.
She soaked it in anyways, her thumb massaging between and feeling the differences in height between rows of knuckles.
In her warming her voice further, it crackled like burnt paper, barely coming.
"...'M still your woman on the outside," she said. You're not her woman at all - but I guess it doesn't matter, when no one can hear you right now. "...We'll figure it out, all right?"
...One beat of her heart felt as if it shuddered; made her blood swim. She swayed in place, slightly, a prickle in her system.
"...We gotta get outta here first."
Also doesn't matter that there is no "we".
...Wasn't ever.
...So took a long, dragging breath in.
...She held it for one beat. Then another.
Weight built in it till she bowed her head, and shaped some words into letting it out, through another sting at one more indulgence.
"...Just think about me from time to time when you're out in the wide world, all right - …?"
It clipped at the end - before she could bend the inflection up.
In spite of herself, she'd wanted to smile while she said it - play it off, as just another bit of the hope.
Three years later and she'd wish she'd at least said that correctly. Not just insofar as that, but while Mia could still listen.
But she'd suppose there were at least worse things than uncertainty, with plenty of room to imagine across continents that someone still knew you.
Belated crosspost from AO3 for a Femslash February special themed around song prompts. This prompt: "Do You Ever Think of Me" by Corinne Bailey Rae.