No heart. No beating.
Late night. In sleep.
Like waves to the shore.
A dream approaches.
Who are you?
Question. Cloaked in darkness.
Thoughts colliding.
An explosion.
Who do you think I am?
Small smile.
A shake of the head.
No. No, you couldn't be.
The figure steps into view.
I should cut myself open and tear you out of me. Drop dead while you writhe around and let everyone see you for the disgusting little monster that you really are.
You… Leif wouldn't say that!
One small question.
How would you know?
Answer clawing.
Tearing away at the veil.
Leif is kind. Leif is understanding. Leif would do everything he could to empathize. Leif would… we would never be so cruel to anyone!
That laughter.
Forces the dark like air.
Flowing through the empty space.
You wouldn't even know what to do if you didn't slither into me. You wouldn't even have thoughts. You could have taken anybody, but you ended up in me. You're just a fungus. A mass of white tendrils.
When it comes to meet you.
In that cloudy night.
Not a light in the sky.
What can you say to it?
Yes, the fungus is us, but we are more than that. We are not just Leif's memories. We are not just his body, either. We are all of it. The moth. The cordyceps. We are a whole, and we work together. We made these decisions. Leif may be gone, but we gave him life renewed. We will be everything he was, and more with time.
You think you're helping just because you propped up a corpse? Maybe I wanted to be dead.
Why would you say that?
Maybe I was with my wife.
Her.
It's always her.
Every evening alone.
An image fading in and out of focus.
Muse…
Oh, you know her, huh? Just think. Maybe I was with her. Maybe I made her happier than you ever could. Maybe you stole me from her.
You're a liar. You're a monster!
You think I'm the monster? What about you? Do you really think you know me better than I know myself?
So often now. That question.
Pressing against the being.
The self in its many permutations.
But perhaps some questions need not be answered.
Leif won't… I won't. We won't listen to you! You're not us! You're a liar. You're a disease. We are Leif. We are one.
Good luck proving that.
We don't need your approval. Leave us!
And in that cloudy night,
a twisted soul rises.
Sits up against
the cool spring air.
Gentle rain surrounds
this moment in time.
As the others sleep,
he ponders the evening.
We did it. We really did it.
Us.
We know we'd never say anything like that.
We know us.
But there's something within.
Not the cordyceps.
This feeling. This unending sadness. It's the monster. A liar. It says such cruel things.
Maybe it was there before we were even brought together.
We're sorry you had to fight it alone.
Rest assured, we will fight it together from now on. We will beat it. Again and again.
Muse did love us, but she's gone. The memory of her is what we will hold onto. We will take it with us as we move toward an uncertain future.
We are Leif, and we…
Would love an early breakfast.