Author note:

Hi everybody, only one small author note at the beginning (since I prefer them myself at the end when reading fanfiction haha!). This story will follow the Origins storyline most of the time, but it will deviate from the game at some points (more so towards the end!). I hope you enjoy it and any feedback is welcome! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, unfortunately Bioware does!

Chapter 1 - Great heroes beyond counting raised

Only one hour, twentyseven minutes and thirty three seconds left. So... around thirty minutes had passed since Alexandra Cousland had heard that she would have to undergo her Harrowing that evening.

She sighed, trying to focus on one of her two best friends who was telling her about how she had helped the First Enchanter categorize some books in a certain specific order, or something like that... she really hadn't picked up much from the story that Brianni Surana had been going on about for the better part of the last half hour.

Who could blame her? Tonight she would have to go through the most important test in a mage's life. She didn't really know what it would entail, no apprentice ever did, but she did know that she had to succeed. Failing would lead to a sure death, since no apprentice that didn't pass the Harrowing was ever seen again; the Circle of Magi wasn't big on second chances.

Maybe she should have started practicing the moment she had heard that her Harrowing was in two hours... maybe she still could? Or would that tire her out too much, making her too weak to pass whatever was going to be thrown at her?

That was of course the reason why the apprentices weren't told much in advance when their Harrowing was going to be; to make sure they didn't have time to get ready. The Circle wanted you to be prepared at all times. Still she had some time left, maybe she should-

"Alex!" Being disturbed in her downward spiral of dilemma's and doubt, she looked up to see her friend staring at her with a worried look in her bright green eyes. "Are you okay?" the elven girl asked, her tone overflowing with pity. She had been there with Alex in the Apprentice Quarters when it was announced that her Harrowing was tonight and from that moment the elf had tried to distract her friend with whatever she could think of.

Knowing that if she didn't stop the elf's worry right now, she would be coddled right up until it was time for the test, Alex forced a smile on her face. "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, maybe because you have the most important and feared test ever tonight," Brainni replied. "And don't say that it isn't bothering you, because i'm pretty sure you didn't hear a word of the story I just told you about my work for the First Enchanter." The elf raised an accusatory eyebrow at her.

Ah she was busted... but also saved when their other best friend pulled back a chair and sat down beside them. "That's because you're telling it awfully boring, dear. If you want to keep Alex's attention away from her impending doom, you should stop talking about dreary old Irving and start telling us all about that cute templar. We all know that he is the real reason you were suddenly interested in sorting books," Emilia Amell said, while winking at Alex.

"Wh-What?!" Alex felt instantly sorry for Brianni as her face took on the same shade as her fiery red coloured hair.

Emilia continued with her teasing, "Oh come on, no point in hiding it. We all know that you are totally into him, Cullen is his name right? And I'm pretty sure he has the hots for you too... all those forbidden looks of longing over the past few months... maybe you two finally did the deed today? Tell me, what was it like, doing it on top of Irving's desk?"

"Th- Wh- NO! No- nothing of the sorts is going on!" Brianni jumped up so quickly, she almost knocked over her chair. "I am NOT like you." She pointed her finger at the raven haired girl, who met her raging gaze steadily. Realizing she had raised her voice and several other apprentices were now looking their way, she continued softly, "Yes, I like Cullen. As in, he's one of the kinder templars. We talk on occasion, but" -she let herself fall down into her chair again, her shoulders hanging slightly- "that's it. He's a templar, I am a mage. Nothing could ever happen."

"AHA!" Emilia yelled out with a victorious look on her face. "So you admit that you do want 'something' to happen? I don't blame you, I mean he's a catch. If being totally awkward is the kind of thing that gets you excited..."

Having noticed the sad look on her elven friend's face, Alex decided it was time to step in, even if that meant that the attention would be brought to her and her test. "That's enough Em, I think you have had your fun with Bree. Besides what was that about me and my 'impending doom'? That unwavering confidence in my abilities really warms my heart," she said while feigning a hurt look. Brianni immediately picked up at her friend's save attempt and gave her a small and grateful smile. "Besides, how did you even know about it? I only heard about it myself thirty minutes ago."

"Oh that, it's all everybody is talking about," Emilia replied while waving her right hand. "And I was joking of course. I mean, everybody knows, enchanters and templars alike, that the Harrowing is going to be a walk in the park for you."

Alex felt her stomach clench at her friend's words. She knew it to be true that most people thought that she would pass the Harrowing with flying colours. It had to do with the relatively old age at which she had entered the circle and the quick progress she had made into becoming the rather skillful mage she was now.

She had been fourteen years old when her magic had first made itself known, in an event she'd rather not think nor talk about. Being brought into the Circle in her early teens had been uncommon, since most of her fellow apprentices had been young children when they were taken to the Circle.

Brianni was an extreme example of this, as she had been around four years old when she had discovered her magic and had been brought in. Therefore this life was all she had ever known and she had almost no memories of her previous one.

Emilia had been double Brianni's age, but still very much a child when she had been removed from her home to go live at Kinloch Hold. Alex suspected she did remember a lot of her old life, but just didn't like to talk about it. Emilia ever only sporadically opened up to Alex about her family, the noble Amells, because that was something Alex could relate to. She knew only too well what it was like to be brought up as a noble girl, only to have everything stripped away because of some powers that you didn't even know you had.

Not that people believed that, almost everyone at Highever had suspected that she had known about her magical abilities, but had chosen to hide them away in fear of having to go to the Circle. Why would they believe that apparently you could be a mage and have dormant abilities for about fourteen years? She probably wouldn't have believed it herself, if it had happened to somebody else.

But it had happened to her... and her parents and brother had been the only people that had believed her when she told them that she hadn't known about this side of herself. They had believed her... and had sent her away just the same. That of course shouldn't have surprised her, since her father and mother were among the most honourable people in all of Thedas. They dutifully sent their mage daughter away to the Circle, because that is what you were supposed to do. Even though it had broken both their and her hearts.

"That is what is going to happen, you passing I mean, you know that right?" Alex was once again taken away from her thoughts by Brianni's voice. She had gotten lost in them again, it had to be the Harrowing, messing with her mental state.

The redhead was back to being all empathetic and full of pity, grabbing Alex's hand and squeezing it tightly. Alex wasn't sure if she was trying to reassure Alex or if she was looking for reassurance herself. She was the first of their little group of three to go through the Harrowing, so the others were just as clueless about what was going to happen as she was.

"Of course she knows, she is Alexandra freaking Cousland!" the dark haired mage replied in her place. "the only thing Alex has to worry about, is her clothes and how she is going to wear her hair tonight."

This drew out a snort on Alex's part. "What, they are going to care what I look like while undergoing the Harrowing?"

Emilia stayed dead serious when she replied, "Honey, you can't slay demons and evade templars, or whatever it is you have to do, while looking like a hobo. It is all about appearances and making a killer impression." She got up, took Alex's silky, long hair in her hands and started combing through it with her fingers. "I could braid it for you? It will make you look fierce and it is practical in a fight."

Alex knew that although Brianni was more open with expressing her worry, or other emotions in general, this was Emilia's way of reassuring everyone that things were going to be fine. She would never flat out say that she was scared, but instead she took on some task that would make her feel in control again.

In this case that meant helping her friend get ready for tonight in the best way she possibly could; by making her look the part of a winner. This really did warm Alex's heart and so she obliged by nodding her head and sitting up straight. Emilia made an approving noise and started with the braiding immediately, while discussing with Brianni what colour of robes would best compliment Alex's silver blonde hair and strange coloured eyes. Her right eye was blue, darker than most blue eyed people, and her left eye had the same teint but got mixed with some light brown. This quickly led her two best friends to debate whether she should wear a blue robe that would compliment the blue in her eyes or a brown one to bring out the tiny bit of brown.

This discussion gave her some time to really speculate about her odds tonight. Deep down she knew that her chances of passing the harrowing were good. Despite the fact that she had only been at the Circle for five years, she had developed her magical powers in such a manner that had made first enchanter Irving believe she was ready to endure the Harrowing and become a full member of the Circle of Magi.

So yes, she knew that in terms of magical strength she would probably have no problem in passing the test. She feared however that it wouldn't be as much of a test of her magic as it would be a test of her mind. After what had happened at her fourteenth birthday, the dreadful event that had eventually led to her life being turned upside down, she had been single minded in mastering her emotions and thereby her power. She needed to feel that she was the one in control of them and not that they were controlling her, so she had dedicated almost every single moment during the last years to achieve that feeling.

It was also what was expected of the apprentices to learn first, in order to avoid nasty incidents because of emotional outbursts. Most of the time she succeeded, but every now and then something came up in her training that would stir up a heavy emotion and she would just get consumed by it. Something that was not done for mages; they had to remain calm and in control of their feelings in order to not be a danger to society. She just wished tonight wasn't one of those times that she couldn't manage to be the master of her own mind.

"Allright, all done!" Emilia stated while admiring her own work. "And in case you weren't listening again, Bree and I decided that you wear that beautiful dark blue robe of yours. It goes nicely with your Cousland necklace and we were pretty sure that you were also wearing that tonight."

Instinctively Alex's hand touched the necklace that was hidden away under her clothes. New apprentices were supposed to throw away any sentimental items that they brought with them to the Circle. It would allegedly help to forget about your old life and embrace your new one. However, Alex could never forget about her old life, nor did she want to. So she had secretly held on to the necklace, which consisted of a slim silver string and a simple oval locket. The inside was decorated with the Cousland family's emblem: two laurel leaves on a blue background. It was her good luck charm, so she wouldn't think about entering the Harrowing without it. She had shown it only to her best friends, because she trusted those girls with her life. Brianni hadn't really approved, saying that it went against the Circle's rules. That was her official argument, but Alex suspected that she just didn't understand wanting to hold onto your past since she had so little memory of her own. Emilia on the other hand had understood completely and even had some trinkets of her own, like a dark coloured handkerchief which had the red phoenixes of house Amell embroidered on it.

Having noticed her silent confirmation, Emilia continued, "then it's decided. I think it is time for you to go change now, since your harrowing is in thirty minutes..."

Alex's eyes shot up at the clock. Emilia was right, somehow an hour had passed and it was almost time for her to make her way to the first enchanter. She tried to swallow the lump away that had suddenly formed in her throat. "Right... I'm going then". Her voice cracked, so she tried to swallow again.

Her two friends smiled reassuringly. "We will be here if you come back," Brianni said. Her eyes widened as soon as she realised her mistake. "Oh no Alex, i mean-"

"She means that we will be waiting here when you return," Emilia cut in. "So you better don't take too long missy, Jowan is waiting for me to... well you know," she added, trying to make the moment lighter by joking.

Also not wanting to make the moment any more dramatic than it already was, Alex gave both of them a quick hug, turned on her heels and hurried away as fast as her suddenly leaden legs could carry her.

She really ought to work out more, Alex thought to herself as she reached the door to the Harrowing Chamber completely out of breath. Of course mages relied more on the strength of their magic than their physical strength, but it couldn't hurt to try to stay in shape. Being fit could save your life if your magic wasn't sufficient in a tricky situation and you had to flee. Or, you know, it could save you a lot of embarrassment in case you had to climb several staircases in order to reach the top of the Circle Tower.

As she was catching her breath, she heard someone come up the stairs behind her. She turned around to see that that person was Cullen. His templar training apparently made sure that he had no trouble climbing stairs, as he greeted her with a steady "hello". Then again he probably came from the templar quarters, which were on the fourth floor, directly below this one, and in stark contrast with the Apprentice Quarters which were on the first floor. The lucky bastard.

"Hi, how are you doing?" she replied, trying her hardest not to think about the things that Emilia had implied not that long ago about Cullen and Brianni in Irving's office. Alex wasn't entirely convinced by the elven girl that nothing was going on between the pair. She wasn't blind, so she had noticed the way the young templar and her friend glanced at each other when they thought that no one was looking. It came nowhere close to the look Cullen was wearing right now on his face, which was a mix between awkwardness, nausea and straight out panic. Could it be that the templar was even more nervous for her Harrowing than she was? Why would that be, she wondered.

"I'm fine," he replied curtly, avoiding her gaze. His hand went to the back of his neck in a gesture of unease.

"So... are you a part of my Harrowing?"

"I... uhm yes," came his short answer once more.

Maker, if all Brianni ever really did with him was talking, how did she manage that?! Alex tried her best to think of a way to make him feel less uncomfortable and decided that she could make an attempt at humour to break the ice. "Well, It's always nice to have a friendly face around when one is about to meet her possible death," she said with a wink. Ah, so funny Alex, great job. She tried to chuckle lightly to soften the harshness of her joke, but it sounded more hysterical than anything else. She was apparently more anxious than she had thought.

Cullen, of course, didn't think it was funny either. He swallowed hard, still looking everywhere but at her. Something was obviously eating away at him.

Just as Alex decided she should try to say something else, anything else to make the situation less awkward, he suddenly looked up to her. She noticed for the first time that he had a very odd eye colour as well; his eyes were golden and almost seemed to glow in the relatively dark corridor in front of the Harrowing chamber.

"Actually, I am assigned to strike the final blow, in case something goes wrong later on." He sounded apologetic.

Alex was a little bit surprised at this. She knew that she had to consider the possibility that she would not walk away from this test, but she had assumed that a demon would be the cause of that, not a templar. Then again, a demon had more use for her alive and the templars would never allow abominations to infiltrate the Circle. It made sense actually. Now she understood Cullen's nervousness as well. Since it wasn't anything personal, she decided to relieve him of the guilt he was obviously already feeling.

"Aha... Well, I'm sorry that they chose you to do this."

This made Cullen look away again and his hand shot up to his neck simultaneously. Wow, this guy really has a lot of nervous tics. The reason for this extra shot of uncomfortableness became clear when the young templar stated, "Actually I volunteered..."

This made her blink several times. So it was personal? She and Cullen had no relationship whatsoever, but she didn't think that he hated her... right? "Excuse me?"

"I- I had to. We rotate each Harrowing who the 'designated executioner' is... I thought that if I volunteered myself this time, I wouldn't have to do it when she"-Cullen took a deep, shuddering breath-"so I wouldn't have to do it later on."

Ah, so it was personal, just a different kind. This confirmed what she'd suspected; Cullen and Brianni did have feelings for each other, even if they indeed didn't act on them. Still, having to cut down the person you care for deeply would be a devastating experience. So she didn't blame him one bit for what he had done. Instead she reached out and touched his arm lightly, willing him to look her into the eyes again. All she said was, "I understand."

Just as he smiled gratefully, the door of the Harrowing chamber swinged open. Alex quickly let go of the templar's arm and straightened her back. Whatever was going to happen, she just wanted to get it over with.

"Alexandra Elizabeth Cousland." First Enchanter Irving's heavy voice sounded from within the room. "You may now enter the Harrowing chamber." And so she went inside.