"oh, I can't help you putting roots in my dream land
My house of stone, your ivy grows
And now I'm covered in you"
Ivy – Taylor Swift
The line to get the burgers was long but thankfully moved pretty fast. I walk up to my silver sedan and balance the milkshakes in the crook on my arm as I open the drivers side door.
"Sorry Matt, the line was insane." I'm met with silence and look over at him once I've sat down.
He's asleep again and I feel that pang of guilt as I shake his shoulder to wake him. He jerks slightly and slowly opens his eyes.
"Hey sleepy head." I say with a small smile "I need you to stay awake. At least until we get you home and eat these." I hold up the bag and pass it off to him.
"Mm. Those do smell delicious." His words come slowly, the Ativan he was given at the hospital still keeping its hold.
I never would have guessed that Captain Matt Casey, the man who runs into fires for a living, who has confronted gunman and jumped out of a moving fire truck would be claustrophobic when it comes to an MRI. But after trying and failing to remain still and calm in the machine, Will made the executive decision to give him the Ativan. The test went off without a hitch as soon as it kicked in. Dr. Halstead said it would take a few hours to wear off, hence his inability to want to stay awake.
"I'm telling you they are the best in the city!" I exclaimed.
He smiles at me and I have to shift the car into gear and start driving so that I don't get lost in those beautiful blue eyes. Things have finally been better between us and I can't let my mind go there.
After a few moments of comfortable silence Matt cleared his throat "Listen Sylvie, I can't thank you enough for coming with me. Having you there means more than you know."
I slow to a stop at a red light and look over at him. "Of course, Matt. Like I said, you've always been there for me. I want to do the same for you." I reassure him.
I the light turns green and I drive the last few blocks to the loft and pull into an available parking spot. I cut the engine and begin to reach for the door when his words stop me.
"I know Halstead said I have to have someone with me this week but really Sylvie, you don't have to stay. I can just call Christi."
"Matt, she'd drive you crazy and you know it. You need to be resting and I have the medical background, so I know what red flags to look for. I'm staying. That's that." I say firmly.
"Thanks Sylvie." He said warmly "I want you here, trust me I do, I just don't want to get in the way of your life or make things weird with Grainger."
I scoff quietly before saying "You don't need to worry about Grainger." I say with more than a little bitterness. "We were supposed to go on a ski trip this weekend and when I told him I couldn't go because I was helping out a friend, he put two and two together. He broke up with me before last shift."
"Sylvie…" He said sadly. "I'm so sorry."
I can tell he means it but I decided to correct him anyway. "Honestly, if he can't be okay with me helping a friend in need, even if that means I have to cancel plans, I don't want to be with him anyway."
"Sylvie.." He started but I cut him off.
"Let's get you upstairs okay?" I say as I open my door.
I walk around to his side and take his arm to help him up off the seat. He's still a bit woozy from the medication so I lock my arm though his as we walk up to the building.
--—--
"Okay, you go get comfortable on the couch, I'll plate this up for us." I say as we walk through the door of the loft. It's so quiet without Stella and Sevieride.
Matt drops down onto the couch as I make my way into the kitchen to quickly plate up our food. Once finished I bring it to the living room, and we eat in comfortable silence.
"Okay, you were right, these are amazing." Matt states after taking the last bite of his burger.
"Right? I don't get them often but it's a nice treat every now and again." I put my plate onto the coffee table and turn myself toward him. "How are you feeling?"
"Honestly?" He asks.
"Always. I can't help you if you're not truthful about how you're feeling." I say softly.
"My headache is back, and I feel like I could sleep for days." He says as he rubs at his temples.
I place my hand on his back and rub a few circles into his skin. "Okay, well let's get you some Tylenol for the headache and get you to bed then."
He nods slightly and starts to stand up, but he's quickly overtaken by another bought of dizziness. I jump up quickly and steady him with my arm around his waist.
"Easy there. You have to go slow remember?"
Once he seems more stable on his feet we begin to walk towards his bedroom. Once inside, I help him to sit down on the bed, remove his shoes and lay him down. He settles easily into the pillows, his eyes already closed.
"I'm going to go get you a glass of water. I'll be right back." I whisper, not even sure he's awake to hear me.
Once in the kitchen I fill up a tall glass and add some ice. I see a bottle of Tylenol on the counter and grab that too. I walk back into his room and place the water on his bedside table. I consider waking him to take some Tylenol but decide to just let him sleep. He needs it. look down at him and notice his blanket has fallen to the floor. I pick it up and gently drape it over his still form.
"Sweet dreams, Matt." I say softly and turn to leave the room.
I'm stopped by his hand gently grasping my wrist. I turn around and see that his eyes are still closed but his grasp on my wrist tightens. I move closer and sit down on the side of the bed.
"You okay?" I ask softly.
He takes a deep breath and without opening his eyes says "You're the partner I want 'Vie. I need you to know that."
His hand falls back onto the bed and I know he's really asleep this time. I stand up slowly and head to the door. I turn back to look at his peaceful form as I close the door slightly.
I tell myself that he's still loopy from the Ativan and he's had a long day. My head tells me there's no way he meant it. He's not thinking clearly and I won't let myself go there. I can't let myself go there. But as I walk slowly towards the couch a small smile began to form on my lips and my heart speeds up ever so slightly. It's a feeling I haven't felt in months. One that I swore I would never feel again when it came to him. Hope.