Summary: Sequel to Words Cut Deeper Than Any Blade. "He was scared and felt he had no one to confide in. He was a boy in a grown man's clothing." Elizabeth and Jack work to make peace. One-shot. Sparrabeth. Rated for mentions of self harm and attempted suicide.
A/N: I have no idea why I keep making one-shot sequels instead of just making them two-shots lol. Let's just roll with it. Also well done to me for finishing this one before midnight, unlike the last two.
Young At Heart, Scars And All
For the rest of that night, the pair remained by their captain's side. Despite their worst fears, his heart beat steadily in his chest. Gibbs left at dawn to set the crew to work and returned a couple of hours later. They took shifts watching over Jack for the rest of the day, trying to get some rest of their own where they could.
The moon was almost completely overhead in the sky when he finally awoke, Elizabeth by his side. He didn't say anything, despite her attempts at conversing with him. He tried to sit up once or twice, but his limbs refused to do anything more than flop. In the end, he drifted back off to sleep without a word spoken from his lips.
The second day was mostly the same. The main difference was that Jack managed to get up and walk over to his desk, where he spent hours updating and adding onto some maps. He denied Elizabeth's offers to help. Again, he did not speak, though it was more than clear that it was out of choice than an inability to do so. He eventually fell asleep with his head on the table, before being moved to his bed by Gibbs and Elizabeth. They left him alone to sleep that night, for it was clear that the wound in his chest would recover in time.
When Elizabeth entered his cabin the next morning, Jack was already up and had dressed himself in all of his usual attire, even his coat. In the past months, it had been odd to see him wear it all the time. But now, she understood why. The sleeves were stiffer than those of his shirt and would not slide down to reveal the self-inflicted scars on his arms.
He tried to leave his cabin, to go out on deck, but she knew that he wasn't yet ready and told him to remain in his quarters. He settled for sharpening his sword and polishing his pistol, then returned to completing some of his many maps. He said nothing to her at all.
She began to worry about his lack of words and asked Gibbs about it.
"He needs time." The first mate told her. "He'll work it out, Miss Elizabeth, but it's somethin' that he can't do in jus' a couple o' days. He'll talk to us when he's ready, mark my words."
The fourth day was little different than the rest. Jack spent a few hours merely sitting on the edge of his bed, lost in thought. His brown eyes had never looked so lifeless, so dull, to Elizabeth. When he finally got up, it was like he'd snapped out of a trance. He gave her a small nod, the first acknowledgement he'd given her at all since the day he'd stabbed himself. Then he fell back into the routine of updating a few of the maps. He finished them that day, and then turned in to get some sleep early.
But his acknowledgement of her was hopeful progress. Even Gibbs seemed a bit pleased when she told him about it.
The next day went the same, but Jack didn't seem to notice that she was there.
Same for the next.
And the one after that.
By the eighth day, Elizabeth found her hope fading. He wasn't getting any better. She herself spent that whole day at the starboard railing of the Pearl, staring off over the ocean. Gibbs approached her over the matter of her own growing distance, asking her if she was alright. She told him of her concern over Jack's lack of change, about how she was worried he would never snap out of it. He patted her arm sympathetically, reminding her once again that these things took time.
The first mate came to see her again later that night, telling her of how their captain had noticed her lack of appearance that day. "He kept lookin' at the door, waitin' for ye to walk in."
She merely shook her head, her voice breaking. "I can only take so much of him acting like that, ignoring everything around him. It's not him, Gibbs."
"He needs to know that we're both there for him, Miss Elizabeth. I reckon it brings him comfort to know we're willin' to help, that we're waitin' on 'him." He told her.
"Gibbs, how do you know Jack?" Elizabeth asked, wondering the extent of the pair's relationship for the older man to be able to know so much about the captain.
"I've known 'im all his life, since the day he was born. Been there for 'im when his own family wasn't."
"Has he ever acted like this before?"
"No. He was always against anythin' to do with his family, always defiant as a lad. He ran off when he was fifteen, started his sailin' career on his own. He never liked havin' to rely on anyone but 'imself."
"He's lucky to have you, Gibbs." She murmured. "You've put up with everything he's ever done and never gave up on him."
She remained rooted to that same spot of the deck long into the night. The stars were reflected in the calm waters, similar to how they had been on the very night they had entered Davy Jones's Locker. It was a beautiful sight, but it was also a sight that reminded her how lost, how alone she and Jack both really were.
She had no Will, figuratively and literally. She had no idea what she was doing with herself, what she was living for. For Jack, perhaps.
Jack had no hope, nothing driving him on but his fear of death and the unknown. He was scared and felt he had no one to confide in. He had no one but himself whom he trusted his thoughts with- and at this point, he probably didn't even trust himself after what he had done.
Elizabeth had never really though of him as being young. She'd never really thought much of his age at all, if she were being honest. All she knew was that he was older than she was. But after her conversation with Gibbs, it occurred to her that Jack was, in a way, still young. He was a boy in a grown man's clothing.
It felt odd to think of the infamous Captain Sparrow as a boy.
But, nonetheless, it was true.
Jack was young at heart, as clever and wicked as he could be.
She blinked as the water rippled slightly, her gaze moving to the moon. She looked at it, taking the sight in, not allowing herself to think of the current struggles aboard the ship. She'd forgotten how magnificent it looked. She hadn't stared at it like this in so long, she'd forgotten the calming effect it gave her.
Elizabeth started when another set of arms slid into view of the corner of her eye. She turned to face the newcomer, freezing in surprise at the sight of Jack himself out and about. He glanced at her, a small smirk flashing across his face at her expression.
"Sorry." His usual seafaring accent was gone, replaced with an English one she'd never heard from him before. "Didn't mean to scare you."
"It's alright." She assured him. "I wasn't paying attention."
"I could tell." He turned and looked towards the moon. Seeing it reflected in his eyes, she knew what he was going to say before he said it. "Looks lonely over there."
"Like the both of us." She commented, instinctively moving closer to him.
His gaze flickered over her briefly. Then, he nodded. "Aye, I suppose so. But you and I, we're not as alone as you think, love."
"No, we're not." She understood exactly what he meant. "I just wish you could have seen that a little sooner."
He wrapped one arm around her slowly, pulling her between him and the rail. With her back to his chest, his arms around her middle, they gazed out over the dark Caribbean waters. She found herself leaning into him, comforted by his touch. She felt his chin rest on top of her head.
"I'm sorry, Jack." Elizabeth murmured, the words pouring from her mouth. "For what I did when the Kraken attacked, for the arguments...All of it. You should have told me. You nearly died- again- because of me. I would never have forgiven myself."
Jack's hold on her tightened a little, but he didn't reply. He never had been one for expressing emotions, she knew.
She was surprised, however, when she felt a drop of water land on her head. The sky was clear, which meant only one thing; Jack was crying.
She felt his right arm start to slither from around her, up to wipe at his eyes, but halted it as she grasped his hand tightly in her own. He didn't protest, silent tears falling down onto her head, as she pulled the sleeves of both his shirt and coat back to show the skin of his arm to the night air. The outside of his forearm appeared just as it always had, containing just the tattoo and pirate brand, the latter of which she traced with her finger. He swallowed shakily, fighting to keep his sobs silent. She felt her own eyes mist.
"It's alright." She whispered softly. "I love you, Jack, scars and all."
Elizabeth felt his lips press against the top of her head in response, as if to say,"Thank you. I love you too."
She rotated his arm so that the inside pointed up, his many self-inflicted scars revealing themselves to her eyes.
There were so many, layered back months and months. They were criss-crossed across his skin, some in 'X' shapes, some just straight lines. Some were more prominent than others, the reddish hint to them indicating that they had been deeper or were newer. There was one that looked like it had been intended to slit his wrist, but had purposely been cut a couple of inches further up.
She brushed the tips of her fingers down his arm, finding nearly every scar to have left bumps in his skin. Her tears began to fall now as well.
Jack's arm slipped from her grasp, his sleeves falling back into place as it wrapped around her once more.
"How do you put up with me?" He choked out a light, hollow laugh.
She smiled through her tears, shaking her head a little. "I ask myself the same thing all the time."
"Did eight days of my silence give you any answers?"
"Only that I missed your voice more than anything."
"I missed yours today too." He murmured into her hair. "God, love, I'm sorry for making you worry."
"You needed time. I just underestimated how much." She let out a breath of laughter. "I just need you to promise me something."
"What?" He asked.
"That you'll never try anything like this again."
"You have my word, love. Never again."