When We Were Beautiful

by SVUProductions

Her vision blurred with dizziness as she tried to concentrate on his concerned face hovering over her. Even as she struggled to focus, she could make out the fear in his piercing blue eyes. It was the same fear she saw on that day in the bus terminal when Gitano slashed at her neck with his knife. Had it really been fifteen years ago?

Note: I've been messing around with this oneshot for a few days, and I finally made major progress on it today. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: SVU belongs to Dick Wolf. The title, When We Were Beautiful, is from the song of the same name by Bon Jovi. I own nothin'.

A single gunshot rang out, leaving her ears ringing.

The pain didn't set in immediately. For a moment, time stood still. Then everything hit her all at once and she wavered, stumbling back.. Pain registered in her abdomen and she gasped, reaching her hand and finding her side already slick with blood.

"Call a bus!" Elliot yelled, rushing forward. His arms shot out, catching her before she could hit the ground. He ducked as another gunshot fired, this one taking Wheatley to the ground.

Olivia gasped, seeing stars when the burning pain intensified. "Elliot…"

Elliot's hands applied firm pressure to the wound against the blood flow. A pained sound left her lips, but he kept the pressure steady. "You're gonna be fine," he insisted. Whether he was trying to convince her or himself, he didn't know. "Help's on the way."

Her vision blurred with dizziness as she tried to concentrate on his concerned face hovering over her. Even as she struggled to focus, she could make out the fear in his piercing blue eyes. It was the same fear she saw on that day in the bus terminal when Gitano slashed at her neck with his knife.

Had it really been fifteen years ago?

Olivia's eyelids fluttered, suddenly heavy. She emitted a long sigh and tried to force her eyes to stay open, but they slipped shut.

"Olivia." Elliot's voice rose an octave. "Liv, don't close your eyes. You need to try to stay awake. Liv!"

The tremor in his voice made her open her eyes again, if only halfway. Olivia blinked heavily as darkness swam in the corners of her vision.

"Liv!"

Roaring sirens drowned out Elliot's panicked voice. Through the haze, Olivia could barely make out the flashing red lights of an ambulance as it came to a stop at the curb. The ambulance doors slammed open and she heard the sound of the stretcher being unloaded.

Elliot reluctantly moved aside to give the paramedics room to work. He moved his blood slicked hands from Olivia's side as the medics took over. Once he found an opening, he began walking next to the stretcher. One of the paramedics opened his mouth to say something to him, but a sharp glare silenced the argument before it began. He gave Elliot a tight nod with a warning to sit where he'd be out of the way.

Elliot complied, taking a seat near Olivia's head. His hand found hers and squeezed it. The faint squeeze she gave in response eased some of his worries, but his pulse still pumped with anxiety as he watched the medics work.

"Elliot..."

The sound left her lips in a breathless whisper. Elliot tried to resist the instinctual rise of fear and tightened his grip on her hand. "Liv, hang in there. You've gotta stay awake. We'll be at the hospital soon."

Olivia nodded tightly, her features contorted with pain. Dizziness washed over her as the ambulance sped toward Mercy General. She tried to focus on Elliot's reassuring hand clinging to hers, but slowly her surroundings started to fade.

Elliot's chest clenched with fear when her eyes closed. Mindful not to get in the way of the paramedics, he moved his free hand to her cheek and patted firmly. "Liv!"

This time, she didn't respond, making his heart skip with worry. The next few minutes that passed dragged by slowly until they came to a stop in the ambulance bay of Mercy General.

Elliot rushed alongside the gurney as the paramedics rolled Olivia out of the ambulance and into the ER. When they reached the doors, he had no choice but to step back to wait. Left standing alone in the lobby, he felt the magnitude of the situation hit him and he leaned heavily against the wall.

A heavy sigh escaped him as he reached into his pocket and found his phone. He found Fin's number in his contacts and tapped his name.

Fin answered after a couple of rings, undoubtedly knowing that something was wrong. "Elliot?"

"Fin. Come to Mercy General. Liv was shot."

"I'll be there as fast as I can." Fin ended the call and Elliot pocketed his phone. He let out a shaky breath and willed himself to try to calm down. He found the nearest chair and sat down, leaning forward and burying his face in his hands.

He didn't look up until fifteen minutes later, when he heard footsteps approaching him and Fin's voice.

"What happened?"

Elliot swallowed hard and looked up, his eyes dark with fear. "Wheatley shot her."

"Shit." Fin sat next to him. "How bad is it?"

"He shot her in the side. I think she'll pull through, but… she passed out in the ambulance." Elliot pinched the bridge of his nose, his other hand clenching into a fist.

"Look…" Fin sighed. "Liv's gonna be fine. You go get yourself cleaned up and I'll wait here."

Elliot's first instinct was to refuse until he glanced down at his bloodied hands. He gave Fin a tight nod and left the waiting room. Just as Fin expected, he was only gone a couple of minutes and returned shortly.

Fin didn't say anything until Elliot dropped into the seat next to him. "Liv's a fighter. You know that. You said yourself you thought she'd pull through. She will."

Elliot nodded, but he didn't look over at him. "I should have never let her get involved…"

At that, Fin couldn't contain a snort. "You think she would have taken no for an answer? You could push her away all you want and she'd push right back. And you'd have done the same thing if it was the other way around."

Elliot started to protest, but the argument died on his lips. He couldn't deny that Fin was entirely right and he nodded with a reluctant sigh. "Yeah."

"I knew it was just a matter of time before the two of you were back to not being able to stay away from each other."

Puzzled, Elliot furrowed his brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Fin rolled his eyes. "I think you know exactly what I mean."

Shaking his head, Elliot fell silent. Left with little else to do, they waited in companionable quiet until a nurse approached them. "Olivia Benson?"

Elliot launched to his feet. "Right here. How is she?"

"The bullet was still inside her, but it was in one piece and the surgeon managed to remove it. She'll be sore for a while, but she'll make a full recovery. She's asleep and probably won't be awake for a few hours, but one of you can see her."

Fin didn't miss the way Elliot's eyes darted to the doorway, impatience etched in his features.

Some things never changed.

"You go. Tell Liv I hope she feels better." He gave Elliot a quick pat on the shoulder before he left the lobby. The nurse gave Elliot the room number and Elliot set off. He easily located the room and quietly stepped inside.

There was a chair next to Olivia's bedside and he nudged it closer to the bed before sitting down. As he took her in, a long sigh escaped him. She was asleep, peacefully oblivious to his presence, but her chest rose and fell with a reassuring steadiness as she breathed.

Elliot hesitated for a long moment before he reached out and settled his hand on top of hers. She didn't respond right away. After a few seconds, Elliot felt her fingers brush lightly against his. Relaxing, Elliot let his fingers lace through hers.

It was already well past one in the morning and he suspected she wouldn't be awake and coherent until morning, so he closed his eyes. He leaned back in his chair, making himself as comfortable as possible, and soon slipped into sleep.

---

When Olivia awoke, it was to sunlight spilling through the window and a sharp ache in her right side. With a soft groan, she opened her eyes, turning her face away from the sun. Soon her eyes opened and she blinked drowsily.

She became aware of a hand against hers and turned her head to see Elliot asleep in the chair next to her bed. "Elliot…?"

Her voice stirred him from his rest and he opened his eyes, blinking and sitting upright. His hand never left hers as he leaned closer to the be "Liv. There you are. How are you feeling?"

"I'm sore." Olivia groaned a little when her hand brushed against the thick layer of gauze on her side. "How bad was it?"

"The bullet missed your organs. You're gonna be fine."

"Good…." she yawned. "I need to check on Noah."

"Fin said to tell you they'd all make sure he's looked after. You need to relax right now."

She sighed but gave a small nod in response. "Did you stay here all night?"

"Yeah." Elliot sat up straighter, rubbing the back of his stiff neck. "You lost consciousness in the ambulance."

The action didn't go unnoticed and her lips curled into a light smirk. "Getting too old for this?"

Elliot snorted. "Calling me old?"

"I'm calling both of us old." A soft chuckle escaped her as she leaned her head back against the pillow. She closed her eyes for a long moment, then turned her attention to Elliot. His eyes diverted, but not fast enough to hide the grief in them. "Elliot, what is it?"

He looked back to her and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Hot tears pricked the back of his eyes and he blinked them back, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Liv, when I told you to back off, I didn't mean… I didn't mean I wanted to push you out of my life. I said that because I knew if you got too close, you'd end up hurt."

Olivia nodded slowly, taking in every word. "I know. But I couldn't sit back and watch you go through so much alone."

Even after ten years, that instinct had never gone away. She still felt hurt, but she knew that no matter what he'd done, she would always want to be there for him.

Elliot sighed, meeting her eyes. "I should have told you what was happening. I was… I was just so afraid of what would happen to you if I let you get involved. You and my kids are all I have left. If something happened… I don't think I could handle that."

Olivia's expression softened, her eyes misting. "El…"

Hearing his old nickname on her lips tugged at his heart. His hand found hers again and he tentatively squeezed it. Olivia hesitated for a few seconds before she twined their fingers together and returned his grip.

"Liv, I'm sorry. I know it's not enough, but I need to say it. The way I left was… it was wrong. And I know I can't just expect things to be the way they used to be. You have every right to be angry, to not let me back into your life."

Olivia sighed and absently rubbed her thumb against his knuckles. "I am upset," she agreed. "For ten years, I didn't know where you were, if you were alright. You walked out of my life without a word. That's not something I can just forget. It's going to take some time, but… maybe we can work on that."

Relieved, Elliot let the tension leave his shoulders. "I'm not leaving. Not again. I promise. New York is where I belong."

"I believe you." Even if she didn't want to, she did. Olivia tightened her grip on his hand. "You know, we haven't really had a chance to catch up lately."

He smiled, settling more comfortably in his seat. "Can you tell me about Noah?"

She hesitated for the slightest moment, a soft smile forming on her lips. "Yeah. He's eight, in the second grade. He loves to learn. He's so smart. He tried baseball a few years ago, but he really likes dance."

"I bet he's a great kid."

"He is." The smile never left her face. "I've had him since he was a baby. The adoption was a long process, but I'm so thankful it happened. He's my life."

"That's great." He grinned, remembering all the times he'd hoped she'd one day have the family she'd always longed for.

"What about your kids? I didn't get much of a chance to talk to them."

"They're good. They're still struggling with losing Kathy, but… they've all done great. Maureen has a kid now. Sophia's only three, so Maureen didn't want to bring her out in the cold for the funeral, but she's a cute little girl. You'll have to meet her some time."

"Wow… guess you are getting old, Grandpa Stabler," she teased.

Elliot laughed. "Don't remind me."

She laughed, too, and together they lost track of time as they shared stories, catching up on some of their lost time. Soon she started to yawn, drowsy from the effects of the painkillers.

"You get some rest." Elliot adjusted her blanket. Without thinking, he let his hand brush against her forehead. She didn't resist the touch; instead she gave his hand a quick, light squeeze. "We'll catch up more over coffee. Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow."

Note: I ended this on a light note, but I absolutely plan on writing some more ship-heavy stuff soon!

As always, please review!