A/N: Lisbon may seem out of character, but it's an unreliable narrator, so please don't throw things at me!
His knuckles were white as he gripped the wheel of his blue Citreon. He was driving out to Malibu to solve this once and for all: tonight, he would know who Red John was. All would be revealed. Even if he died tonight, he didn't care. Red John would pay for his crimes.
Though, his breath caught a bit as he looked over to the passenger seat. Lisbon. Of course, she was here with him. As he awaited the lecture that never came, he realized that he had to find a way to let her go to get on with this. He had to catch Red John tonight, and he couldn't let her get in the way. Everything would be fine after he caught Red John and administered his justice.
Noticing the sun beginning to set to the west of the highway, he decided to park the car suddenly. Getting out of the car, Lisbon followed him without a word.
She brought her hand to her neck, adjusting her turtleneck before letting her hand fall to her belly. "What's this?"
"A break. I...I need to say goodbye."
Panic crossed her features, rattling him just a bit. He'd never seen her so scared before. "Jane? What? No!"
"I need to say goodbye. I'll never be able to express what you've meant to me, what you mean to, but I need to…"
Suddenly, she walked up to him and placed her index finger over his lips. "Then, don't. Let's do this together. Me and you. Are we partners or what?"
Teresa Lisbon was the only person in the world he trusted fully. Weeks ago, when he finished narrowing down the list of Red John suspects, she was the only one he shared Lorelei's recording with. She knew all seven suspects.
He still doubted whether that was the right course of action, but in any case, he'd told her. He felt silly that they'd fought because she was right. He wished he could find the right apology for their fight, or that it would matter if he did...but he wasn't ready. He needed someone, and well, she was the only friend he had. More than that, she made him feel something that he kept buried deep. He would think more about it after he delivered his justice tonight.
"Lisbon, I can't keep you with me. I know what I have to do."
She nodded along. "Then, do it. But let's do it together, okay?"
She smiled so wide. It was a sweet smile, but for some reason, that panged him.
"Are you sure? I don't want...I don't want you to abandon your principles for me, to see me like this."
"I won't."
"I don't want you to suffer."
Her smile faltered a bit as she grabbed her belly. "As long as we're together, I won't suffer. I'll stay with you as long as you want. I won't stand in your way. Let's take care of this. Together."
He nodded. He knew he should be stronger. She needed to be here so he could take care of Red John. He needed vengeance. He owed them all. But instead, her eyes melted his stance as he spoke softly once more. "Let's go, partner."
"Thanks, Patrick."
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Well, that blew up in his face. Quite literally. How could...how could he know? How did Red John know?
When he woke in the hospital, she was sitting by his bed. She smiled at him, again causing a bit of distress he couldn't place. "Lisbon? Are you hurt?"
"Not a scratch! How are you feeling?"
"I'm ok. I have to go find-you saw that, right?"
She nodded along. "Bertram, Smith, and McAllister all had the same markings."
"Which one is he?"
"Now, that would be guessing wouldn't it?" She winked at him as he noticed her hand was busted up.
"Your hand. It's all busted up." She adjusted her sleeve down to cover it. "You should get that checked out. Nurse!"
"Patrick, it's ok! Don't make a scene."
"No, it's not. Nurse! Your hand might be broken."
The curtain flew open, and he saw Cho standing there looking as stoic as ever but with a hint of relief in his features. "You're back."
"Yeah, I am. Lisbon. It's Lisbon. Her hand is all busted up. Can you get someone to take care of it? It looks painful, but she's got all of that bravado like always. Make her get it fixed up! I don't want her to be in pain."
She scoffed. "I told you it's fine."
He waved in her direction. "It's not fine! It could be broken!"
"It's already broken!"
He looked back to Cho. "Cho, could you get her to stop being so stubborn and get it looked at?"
The hint of relief in Cho's features faded to a look he couldn't quite read before he slipped his mask back in place. He nodded as he tapped his shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze before pulling back.
Cho looked over toward Lisbon. "I need you guys to stay here. It's important that you do. I'll put a couple guys outside. Some developments are happening, and I want you both to stay safe." As his voice started to crack, he took a brief pause before continuing. "Lisbon, watch over Jane. You got him for a little while longer."
She nodded at Cho as she let out a girlish giggle. "Just like I always have! Go catch a serial killer!"
Cho didn't respond. He just nodded. "I'll get the nurse to keep you comfortable. You did good work today. We're going to catch him because of you...because of both of you."
When Cho was gone, he looked at Lisbon, studying her features for a moment. He would always remember her this way. "So are you, one of California's finest, really just going to sit here and babysit me while there's a manhunt going on?"
She shrugged as she adjusted her turtleneck with her unbusted hand. He really wished the nurse would come take a look at that hand. It looked like she was in a lot of pain.
"Patrick, I'll stay here with you for as long as you want. You need protection, too. Do you want me to stay?"
He started to tell her that he was fine, but he wasn't sure if he was fine. He wanted to catch Red John, but he kept finding little ways to one up and make this game more miserable. At least he had her here with him. Maybe after this, he could tell her what she meant to him. She might like that. "I'd like that."
He yawned, and within moments, he was asleep.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
When he woke, he was in a different room. It looked like they put him in a room for a longer stay. He'd probably slept quite a while. That's ok. He'd be going as soon as he had his bearings about him.
Of course, Lisbon was still at his side. "Hey! I thought you were going to sleep forever."
Sometimes, he wished he did. Then, nothing would hurt. But she wouldn't want to hear that. "I think getting out of here sounds good. Have you heard from Cho?"
"Not a word! But I think you should relax. They're going to catch him."
"How can you be so sure? We need to be there."
"It's ok. I trust them, and so do you."
"I should get the nurse. I need my clothes so I can go."
"No, you need to stop being so damn stubborn all the time!"
He scoffed. "You're one to talk!"
He rang the nurse's button. She could be mad at him later. They needed to be out with the team tracking the leads. An older woman came padding into his room.
"Oh, you're awake! What can I get for you, dear?"
"My clothes. I need to go please."
"I see. Well, I will have to talk to the doctor first."
"Please hurry. I know my rights. I can check out AMA. Agent Lisbon and I need to get out into the field. We have important work to do."
The woman smiled at him with sad eyes. "I've heard. The officers outside and the young man who's come to visit have told me quite a bit about the work you and Agent Lisbon did."
"We have to get out and keep searching for Red John!"
"Ok, well, I will check in with the doctor, but I think it's important you keep getting your rest now."
He sighed in exasperation as Lisbon laughed. "I told you. Just rest!"
"In the meantime, here's the remote if you'd like to watch some television. I'll be right outside, ok?"
He nodded. There was no use in arguing with this nurse. He'd talk to the doctor when they got here, and hopefully, they'd see reason.
After she left the room, he turned toward Lisbon. "What do you want to watch?"
"Let's find a movie to watch!"
When he turned on the tv, it was on a local channel. Some commercial for juice was running. He was always amazed by how companies marketed their products in such outlandish ways.
"Change the channel!"
"Wow, you really want to watch some unnamed movie."
She fidgeted with her turtleneck before cradling her belly in her hand. "I just don't really want to watch the news. Do you?"
No, he didn't. He hadn't in weeks. He moved to change the channel when the captions caught his eye. In the captions running at the bottom of the screen, he saw it. "Search for the infamous serial killer known as Red John comes to an end."
"They caught him!" He looked over to Lisbon.
"I guess so." She shrugged. "Can we watch a movie now?"
"No, I need to see this. Call Cho and find out what's going on!"
She just kept watching him. He turned his head back to the tv, anticipating the coverage. It would be nice if the team kept them in the loop! Yeah, even he could hear the irony in that one. The news anchor came back on to cover the breaking story.
"Red John's decade-long reign of terror ended today when CBI agents, headed by Acting Supervisory Agent in Charge Kimball Cho, in a joint effort with the FBI located the man known as Red John: Thomas McAllister. McAllister died in a standoff with agents. McAllister is responsible for the deaths of many people, including most recently…"
The blonde haired woman's voice faded out as he turned his head to look at Lisbon. She met his gaze with that beautiful smile and her sad green eyes as the tears filled his own eyes.
"You're not...you're not really here, are you?"
She answered softly. "I think you know the answer to that."
The news report continued. "...including most recently the murder of CBI Supervisory Agent Teresa Lisbon. Responding to a call here in Sacramento, Agent Lisbon was murdered in an abandoned home just six weeks ago."
He couldn't take his eyes off of the woman sitting at his bedside as she watched him with both sadness and concern. He was sure he knew which photo they used when they spoke about her. The news organizations had been showing it for weeks. Even if he saw her lifeless body in the aftermath of Red John's work, her photo in the news with a beginning and end date-an end date that came too soon-made it more real. He cried himself to sleep the first time he saw it, and when he woke, she was at his bedside.
That beautiful photo...it was how she deserved the public to see her. He teased her when she had the new headshots done and asked if she was thinking about going into modeling. She didn't deserve to have people gawking at her...remains, her throat slit so deep that she was nearly beheaded and her lifeless body surrounded by nearly every liter of her own blood.
The coroner...the coroner had said she fought him. Her already broken arm was broken in at least three new places. She fought, but she was in a great deal of pain. And no one could tell him if she'd taken her last breath before or after that sick bastard painted his red smiley face over her own face with her own blood, exaggerating the smile over Teresa's lifeless face on purpose. He wasn't sure it mattered. Did she know dignity in her final moments?
She covered her hand once again. Though her arm was broken in three new places, the coroner said that the defensive wounds seemed on purpose. He posited that when she knew she wouldn't make it out alive, she turned her defense into an evidence collection of sorts. She had his DNA in her cast.
The coroner had said that even in so much pain, she'd been brave til the last moment. But how could he know that? And did that even matter? She was still beaten...and...well, he'd not stuck around for the pelvic exam. When he found her, her pants were unbuckled. He had carved "XOXO" across the top of her pubic bone. She didn't deserve him to be such a coward, but he couldn't be there for that. She deserved so much better. Cho was brave enough to stay with her the whole time. He assured him there was nothing in that part of the exam to worry about.
No, the prideful smile of a hero in that photo-the one that reached her green eyes and displayed the vibrancy of Teresa Lisbon-was how she deserved to be remembered. She deserved to be happy. She deserved to be alive. She would be alive if it weren't for him.
"Why are you here?"
She shrugged. "Because you want me here."
"I'm...I'm so sorry." He started to weep. "It's all my fault."
"You know that's not true."
"It's my fault!" He roared as he wailed."I should've never shared that damn list with you!"
"Calm down, Patrick. It's ok."
"No, it's not. You're gone. I never...I never got to…"
"I knew."
"No. You're just my subconscious trying to make me feel better, trying to protect me. I'm in the psych ward, aren't I?"
She nodded at him. "Just for now. Cho has been worried for weeks that you were having a break, and you confirmed it for him when you asked for someone to look at my arm. He'll be by to talk to you when the time is right. He's worried about you, you know? You need the rest. They caught him, Jane."
"But at what cost?"
She raised her busted hand. "I helped them, and then, you did. See, we solved it together. We were partners."
"I don't think this is what you imagined when you said we were partners."
She grinned at him. "I can't say that it was."
Something felt physically broken inside of his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe. "There was so much I wanted to say, so much you deserved to hear."
"I knew."
"You deserved better."
"I knew what I signed on for. It wasn't your fault."
"It was. I should've never shared that list with you!"
Her grin fell. "Well, the way he left me seemed to indicate that he would've gotten me one way or another, doesn't it? Seems like it was a bit of fun for him, huh? He probably had it on his mind since the day he first met me. Like Lorelei said, you two seemed to share a similar outlook on life. His was just more homicidal and fundamentally crazy."
He squeezed his eyes shut as the tears welled in his eyes. He couldn't do this. Not again. "I lost again."
"No, you didn't. You get to keep living."
"At what cost?"
"I don't know."
Red John won. In the end, he died but still won. He knew that Lisbon...he knew he needed her. How did this happen? How did he let this happen? No, he wouldn't let this happen. "Will you stay with me?"
"I don't have anything else going on, but you know it's not good for you if I stay forever. I wouldn't want that for you. Besides, when you're better, Cho will probably keep you around." She smirked. "I think I rubbed off on him."
"Just for now? Please."
She looked at him and smiled sadly before adjusting her top and settling back in her chair. "I'll stay as long as you want. Maybe we should watch that movie now."
A/N 2: So how was it? Unfortunately, I wasn't able to say too much upfront without giving away the ball game!
Originally, I intended to write a dream sequence. Then, some folks on Discord were talking and reminded me that my favorite version of this trope is "the person who's only there in someone's mind." Lisbon may have seemed out of character here, but that's because she's only here as part of Jane's subconscious and how he chooses to remember her, similar to Charlotte in Devil's Cherry.