"I do not own Harry Potter, or the Pinterest post that inspired me to write this

On Sunday morning, Uncle Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy.

"No post on Sundays," he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, "no damn letters today —"

Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. Next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets. The Dursleys ducked, but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one —

But then he had a better idea. An evil idea, yes, but at the moment he just. Didn't Freaking Care. He remembered all the times that Dudley had hit him, all the times Aunt Petunia had scolded him for all the things that he didn't do, and all the times Uncle Vernon locked him in the cupboard. That was motive enough for what he was about to do.

While the Dursleys were still disoriented, he shoved a letter down the front of his pants and ran for the door. He heard Uncle Vernon scream "OH NO YOU DON'T, BOY!", heard his heavy footsteps in the hall, but by that time he was outside. Perfect.

He felt his Uncle launch at him, trying to knock him down. He let him. It was part of the plan. His glasses flew off, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw neighbors pointing, staring, even pulling out videocameras to catch what was about to happen.

Uncle Vernon was ignorant to all that. He flipped Harry over, his face purple, and-just as he expected-shoved a hand down Harry's waistband.

Harry immediately started screaming "STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER! DANGER!"

"Uncle Vernon pulled out the letter and hissed "Shut up, boy, unless you want to be-"

"Want to be what, exactly?" a woman's voice said.

For the first time, Vernon seemed to notice his surroundings. His face went pale. Hurriedly, he said "It's-it's not what you think it looks like-"

"I think it is exactly what I think it looks like." said the woman. She wore a blue suit, sunglasses, and-oh my-a very shiny badge.

"Arrest this man!" yelled the policewoman. The officers seemed to materialize out of nowhere, pulling his uncle away while he kicked and screamed. The woman knelt down to his eye level. "Are you all right, son?"

"Yeah-Yeah." Harry stood back up and groaned. "He took my letter."

"Don't worry, I have an extra over here." She pulled one out of her bag and handed it to him.

He stared at her. "How-"

"Your name is very, very well known where I come from." She took his hand and lead him away. "My name is Delilah, by the way. Delilah Taylor."

I hope you liked this story. Delilah is my own OC, but you can use her in your own HP stories. Here is her info:

Name: Delilah Taylor
Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff
Hair color: Blondish brunette, and REALLY curly
Eye color: Blue
Skin color: Olive
Past: Grew up in a pureblood Slytherin household that she really did not like, and strove to be different than her family. She very willingly left her family when sorted by Hufflepuff and lived in an orphanage. That's when she saw how messed up the muggle world was. Instead of choosing a magical career, she chose to be a policewoman to try to make the world better.
Yeah, you can make more stuff up about her as you go. Anyways, I hope this is a good fanfic!