Hey! So I gotta prompt, as promised (even if it's late!) :) This one's for txpeppa, and it's a Romy, from the cats' pov. A solid challenge, considering I'd never thought to write from an animal's perspective, but I think it turned out pretty funny and cute! I hope you think so, too, girl;) On another note, I really hope the sound affects I attempted to write in come across as they should lmao!
-•oOo•-
Figaro hears them first.
He hears the soft ding of the elevator reaching home floor, and snaps out of his nap on the couch with pitched ears and alert eyes at the door.
Next come the shuffled steps toward the door, one pair heavier trod than the other, accompanied with two familiar voices, and that brings Lucifer racing up from his food dish to the front door. He's already purring and cooing in anticipation, whiskers forward and eyes eager.
It isn't until the key scrapes the lock, and the knob turns that Oliver comes slinking down from the loft, doing everything he can to seem as uninterested and bored as possible the whole while. He chirps out a meow and picks up to a trot as the door swings open, letting in his two favorite (only) humans. He likes these humans, they like cats, they like to pet him and his brothers, and feed them, and-
"Ugh, you're wearing way too many clothes, shug," the woman they know as Anna huffs into kisses their Remy keeps going in for. "We should fix th-oh!"
Their Remy laughs low and soft into her neck as he hauls her up against the wall, hands shoving her dress up over her hips, fingers hooking on her underwear. "Looks to me like you ain't doin' much better, chere. Let's fix that, indeed, shall we?"
Oliver sees their humans rubbing against each other, watches Anna wrap her arms and legs around Remy, moaning with pleasure as he strokes her thigh, hand slipping up between them. He gets excited, because it looks like they're in a petting mood, and he likes being petted too, all those scritches behind his ears and under his chin are especially pleasurable. He runs up and rubs around Remy's leg, curling his tail around him, and meowing their attention down at him.
"Non, not right now, Oliver-"
"Aww, kitty-kittems," their Anna giggles, shoving Remy's face in her throat with one hand while snaking the hand down between them. Remy groans, she gasps, and they start moving against each other. This excites Oliver further, because he wants to rub and be petted and purr too!
Lucifer sees Oliver happily twining around their Remy's feet, meowing loudly for attention, and he agrees! He wants some spoiling, too, and it looks like his humans are enjoying themselves, and sometimes, when they're laying all over each other, they like to call him and his brothers into their laps and pet them! He'd like that right now, though as he trots over, he's not real certain where they'd call him up, there's no lap-
"Fuckin' cats," their man groans, and Lucifer excitedly takes that as a call up, because his Remy calls them cats all the time! He's not deterred by the lack of lap, Remy has feet, so he rubs a figure 8 between his legs and then plops fatly over the top of his human's feet.
Of course, it's very uncomfortable, for Remy's not being still, he's moving in a rather forceful, rhythmic motion. But it appears that his humans are happy, if the groans and moans and the affectionate rubbing and stroking are anything to go by, so in good sport, he tries rubbing his face against Remy's shin.
Oliver doesn't see this happening very well, and chooses to hop up on the mantle close by his human's heads. His Anna appears to be having such a good time, her arms and legs wrapped around Remy as he bucks up against her. He can relate, he really likes it when his humans pet him too! And now that he thinks about it, this is a lot of movement, maybe they're playing? Like he does with his brothers?
Oh! Oh! He'd like that! And Anna is inviting him to play, too! Her hair is moving a lot, bouncing, and there's this one piece sticking out from her head, bobbing right in front of his face! He can't resist! Must catch!
"Oh god, oh god oh-omg Remy, your cat!" Anna gasps out a laugh and tries to wriggle away, and Oliver must catch harder!
"Damn it, Oliver, quit it! Fttttthz!" Remy hisses at Oliver, trying to maintain his rhythm, and Oliver feels his hackles rise, because that's his mouse, not human's! He swats at his man instead this time, claws snagging the fabric of his jacket. He caught it! He caught it! It's his! He wins!
He pulls and his human yelps and swats back at him. The sudden movement upsets Lucifer's paced head rubs against his human's leg, and he immediately snaps around his ankle, front legs grabbing, back legs gutting. That makes his Remy step back, and it's on his tail. He yowls, and the foot immediately steps off, and he jumps up and bullets his round self into Remy's other leg and then off to the other side of the room.
Oliver cannot resist that. Cannot! He bounds off the mantle and darts off after his fluffy tabby brother, humans completely forgotten.
Figaro interestedly watches from his continued perch on the couch as the momentum from Lucifer's trauma throws their humans off balance and into giggled and growled curses. He's never really been the kitty to get into his brothers constant shenanigans, preferring to survey his domain from on high. But this looks fun, perhaps, especially now as he watches his two most favorite humans in the whole world lean back into each other for renewed kisses. Anna is pulling Remy backwards toward the couch, giggling words Figaro doesn't care about into kisses as Remy's pants fall to the floor in a whoosh.
Figaro's gaze snaps to the fallen pants, back twitching at the faint clanking of the belt. Next thing he knows, Anna yelps, and Remy topples her over the couch. They're laughing and kicking off shoes, and Figaro dodges for his life as one flies by a little too close for comfort. His feet hit the floor behind the couch, and he's thoroughly offended. How dare they! That was his bed!
"Anna, I think y' scared off the cats," he hears Remy chuckling, and Anna purrs something back in appreciation of his attention, which honestly sounds very attractive to Figaro, too. Remy gives the best back strokes- "Know what I think that feat deserves? Hmm?"
Figaro hears him mumbling something else nobody cares about (well, it seems Anna does, as she squeaks out an "oh yes please!"), and then he's distracted by Remy sliding down the end of the couch. He can't see very much from down here in the floor, all he sees is Remy's head and Anna's leg fall over the edge of the couch. They're back to moving, and there's way too many noises for Figaro to ignore! He needs to see!
He jumps up, landing over his Anna's thigh to find Remy's head down and close by, Anna's hand fisted in his hair. He starts purring and head butts his human's head, making the man jerk back with a curse. He steps in closer and loudly demands a back stroke and chin scritches.
"Oh, come on," Remy groans. "Fttttttthz! Ftttttttttthzz!"
Figaro only purrs louder and steps up on Anna's belly and head butt Remy in the face. "Motherfucker," Remy mutters and pushes him off. Offended again, Figaro jumps back up and demands even more loudly for attention. His actions apparently pleased his mistress, for Anna starts laughing and reaches down to stroke behind his ears. He purrs and coos loudly, staring at his master accusingly for not doing the same.
The entire commotion brings a curious Lucifer and a still chasing Oliver back down. Lucifer hops up on one end to rub against Anna, his most favorite of all, and finds himself tackled by Oliver.
Figaro can't be helped; he's stayed out of their bullshit long enough, and now his brothers need to feel his clear supremacy. He pounces on Lucifer first, for he needs to pay for initially interrupting his kitty scratches.
Lucifer howls and jumps off for parts he thinks unknown. Possibly with a food dish detour?
Oliver watches Lucifer go, and gathers his haunches for a butt wiggle, giving the fat tabby a second to get a good start on him before he-
Figaro pounces on Oliver next to assert full dominance. He can't have this impertinent feline doing this, interrupting his-
"Stupidass cats," Anna laughs and pushes their man off and pulls him to his feet. "The room, shug, and lets shut the door!"
"I like the way you think, chere," Remy points at her in declaration, and when their woman takes off, their man chases, and none of the cats can resist! They all must go see-
The bedroom door slams shut, and all three cats are left staring in disbelief!
Shut out!
Ignored!
This is bullshit.
Oliver glares at the door, tail swishing. He wants in! He wants on the bed! He wants to curl up in his usual spot against his man's head, and purr himself to sleep! Stupid woman, it's her fault! His Remy never shut him out before. He's already thinking revenge-
Lucifer yowls loudly through the door. He can hear them! They're in there! They're in there with all their kitty scritches and warm bedding! He wants in so he knead his Anna's curly fur!
Figaro frantically swipes his paw under the door. Must get in! Cannot abide closed doors! His claws catch carpet fibers, and he continues his efforts with renewed vigor. He needs to be at his usual spot on the foot of the bed. He likes to be close, but he doesn't like to be bothered. Plus, when the lumps under the bed next to him move, he can catch-
The three cats carry on with their glaring and yowling and ripping unnoticed, their beloved, traitorous humans carrying on without them in the bedroom, groaning, moaning, rustling, and then yelling each other's names. And then it's quiet, aside from the occasional giggle or chuckle, or a swish of rustled sheets.
Figaro blinks deliberately at his siblings. Lucifer twitches his ears and swishes his tail. Oliver blinks back in understanding.
Revenge will be theirs.
-•oOo•-
Several hours later...
THUMP!
"Awww, those fuckin' cats!"
Rogue sleepily raises her head as her husband startles awake with a groaned curse. She smiles and giggles a warm kiss into the side of his neck. "Well, you did shut them out, shug," she reminds him.
"Was your idea, chere," he grunts back, his voice thick and heavy with sleep and annoyance as he swings legs over the edge of the bed.
"Oh, it was my idea, huh, like you didn't fully appreciate the brilliance of it at the time?" She snorts and uses her foot to not-so-gently push his butt off the bed.
Kssshhhht! "MAAAAAOOOOOOR! MAAAOOOOOOOR!" Ksssht! Kssshht! "MAAOOOR!"
"Alright, alright, y' little asswipe, get outta the blinds, I'm comin'," Remy mutters irritably.
"Your cat's mooing in the windows again," Anna adds unhelpfully, snuggling back down in the covers.
"Yes. And Fig just knocked over the damn trash again."
"Best go clean that up, Cajun. Don't want bugs," she adds with a smack of her lips and smile. Perhaps not nice of her to tease him so much, especially not after the night they'd had together, but she doesn't care. She'll never pass up the opportunity to give him a hard time when he's bitching about something little and stupid.
"Yeah, I'll get on that," he answers dryly, opening the door. "Alright, y' little bastards, I'm up," he calls out to his spoiled felines. "Goddammit, Fig, really? You tore the trash bag? You asshole."
A duet of meows answers back, and Anna giggles quietly in her pillow as her husband goes on to 'scold' his cats. That scolding no doubt came with pets and kitty scratches, and she can practically hear the purrs likely happening from here.
"Yeah, s'good kitties, even if y'all dump my trash and fuck up my blinds," Remy's coos can be heard floating up the stairs. "Where's Luce?"
CLUNG! ….. Kuuuuish. …..CRISHHHHHH!
"Ah fuck, Luce, y' found the food again? How the hell you get your fat ass up on top of the dryer anyhow? Anna! Your cat found the food bag again!"
Anna gasps in laughter, and rolls her eyes at her obnoxious husband. "He ain't my cat, Cajun, he's your son," she hollers back, grinning as she slips out of bed and heads for the laundry room. There, she finds the busted food bag in front of the stacked washer and dryer, and cat food scattered to every corner of the room. Lucifer, bless his very round soul, is crouched down in the middle of the pile, purring as he happily chows down.
He glances up at his favorite human between mouthfuls of kibbles, eyes reflecting the depth of his betrayal and distrust. How could she?
"Hey, puss," she calls softly, approaching with a soft smile and soft eyes. He's not moved to meet her, instead turning back to his food. "Mad at me, huh?" She adds, and when she lightly scratches behind his ears, he arches up into the attention, purring loudly.
She's forgiven.
"Well, don't be," she murmurs, scratches turning into a luxuriantly long stroke down his back and tail, "it's your daddy's fault, hm? He's the one who shut y'all kittems out."
He's not forgiven.