Fandom - Recipe
Title - my endless meal.
Rating - PG-13
Pairing - Kaiya ? Kou
Description – Let's play a game of hide and seek…
Disclaimer - Yuki Shimizu-sensei is the person who owns the title 'Recipe'. I'm just so into it that I have to make fics for it!
Because I don't want you to go away,
I close my eyes,
but you force them open
when you make love to me
With all yourself.
My endless meal.
By miyamoto yui
Again, I want to wrap myself in this cavernous, ravenous dejection. The more I hug my knees, the more I feel hollow. It just serves to remind me that I have to fill the ever expansive depth with more superfluous nothingness as the seconds pass.
I cringe more and more while the nakedness I feel makes my body turn cold from the inside out.
In this spacious room, there is nothing but an abysmal darkness. And though there are people who will think I'm melodramatic, I am telling the ultimate truth that I can't speak to anyone. This is worse than feeling alone.
You don't even want yourself.
You live for one thing and one thing only: A yearning craving.
It seems like my mind rejects my body. My soul says it's condemned to entities that aren't worthy of its presence.
Yes, this is exactly how I feel.
Nonetheless, I lick my chapped lips.
No matter who is with me. No matter what I do. No matter where I go. It is never ending and I prolong this agony called 'existence'.
I run my fingers through my hair to push back my bangs and look up to the ceiling. It looks like there are no lines. That's right, I am in a rectangular box. And the more I stare at it, it becomes two isosceles triangles until there are no congruent measurements.
I make it all up in my mind. I make it all up in my mind and it's coming out through the shaking of my fingers.
I clench my teeth and then I bite my lower lip until I feel slits crack up with blood coming slowly down my mouth. I press my back against the wall.
I am truly scared.
"Hah…hah…hah…"
But there is no one here but me.
Or so I think.
Your voice keeps on repeating in my mind. Over and over, it whispers into my ear and sends an excited chill down my spine. My breathing becomes uneven, in between coughing and panting.
Hell becomes something more than scorching and searing. It tears the skin with its flamed claws.
Inside, I'm freezing into numbness.
But you love it this way. Your necrophiliac tendencies are soon to become a reality.
You want me to die and resurrect in between your hands because it makes you laugh.
All the while, I've become pliable in those hot fingers.
Not 'I love you'. Not 'I want you.' Your voice is like a breath that tingles my whole body with its petrifying effects just like staring into Medusa's eyes.
Sweet. Demanding. Begging. Prideful. All are inside this single phrase:
"More."
Now, my blurry eyes see the lines of the large greenhouse. I shift my eyes from side to side.
We're playing tag after all, but my wrists are bleeding and my shirt is ripped into shreds. I'm still so happy, I'm shaking from fear and anticipation.
The aloneness is gone when you are in view.
But you suck everything away too with that look you give me.
Click.
Oh, I think you've found me. I want to laugh, but I'm crying from happiness.
Each day becomes so much more fun, but we have to do different things. We have to go to various places, where we can and cannot go.
If we don't, we'll grow tired of one another. And when we scream, people might think we actually-
Tap, tap, tap…
Your footsteps are calculated and go to a slow, even tempo. I hear your breathing, and it already makes me want to come.
There is a smile on your face as you touch the leaves of plants and make your way to me.
I can feel everything about you.
After all, I made you what you are now.
When you see me, I look away playfully as you grab my hands. You lick my wrists and I give you that expression that you can't possibly say no to. The same one that made you swear you were mine…
…helplessly.
You pull my arms over your shoulders with your thumbs on my wrists, and kiss me on the lips. Break up and come together again, our lips dance with the mixed saliva stretching and squishing.
He pulls away and stands up with his hand gently over my head.
You smirk as you look down at me with an unrivaled possessiveness.
Because now, you've realized that no other thing or person can satisfy you…
"Kaiya, I found you."
My head tilts as I look up to the little boy I raised. My face is pleased as he stands tall and arrogant before me, but only when the night touches his body.
Now, he's all grown up to the master I reared him to be. He creates new recipes that even I can't imagine, but savor with all my being. All my fragmented parts come together at his will, making anything he wants.
The voice that he couldn't refuse has now become his.
I unbutton his slacks and lick him as he pulls on my hair with that adorable, embarrassed expression that makes me want to bite him a little with my teeth.
"Nn…Kaiya…More…"
And only I can enjoy him like this.
With each bite…
Unhurriedly, unquestionably, uniquely.
My endless meal.
Owari.
-
Author's note - I was thinking for a long time what to do for this title, and then, I remembered that this was supposed to be really erotic in a sadistic sort of way. So, instead of my usual tender and warm, I was aiming for psychotic and possessive. (Well, this is how I feel right now for no reason…)
I promise to make a cuter one next time, but I like this because Kou and Kaiyu really do it for me. XD
It satisfies my 'odd tendencies', as one creative writing professor tried to imply years ago.
^_^ I liked this one though. A lot.
Love,
Yui
July 1, 2005, 12:57 AM