Steve looked around the office. There were very few people remaining, as it was now late in the evening. Chloe had gone home some time ago and even Hastings had said goodbye a few minutes earlier. Steve didn't want to go back to his flat; he had no fresh food in and no energy to cook anything. He had been eating take away all week. He had finished his last bottle of wine last night. He felt low and alone. He resolved to drink less. And maybe cook more. Maybe.
His friends had gradually stopped getting in touch. He knew it was because he was so distrustful. Everything that was said he judged, he knew that, and couldn't help himself. Especially after a few pints. Sam was too embarrassed to ring him, and Nicola had laughed when he tried to establish some boundaries. His social life had dwindled and he really only had the job now. He was lonely. Even the company of Steph had lost its appeal. They were just two lost souls looking for answers that wouldn't come. He didn't even trust her anymore, after finding the money and was avoiding her calls.
He wondered how things had got like this. How he had become hooked on the pain killers. How he couldn't fight the urge to take them. Just how long it would be until the drugs test showed up the problem and he would be suspended from duty or worse? Would anyone except the gaffer even notice?
Chloe was good at her job, she had tried to be friendly, but he had ignored her. She would get promoted and move on from AC-12 eventually, most people did. Only the fools like him stayed so long they couldn't move to another department without raising suspicion. The promotion to temp DI had stopped him accepting the potential job with Nicola's team. He felt trapped.
Despite the events of the last few days and the good work the team had done investigating Operation Lighthouse, he was worried. Worried about the effect it was having on Kate. She was in the middle of some very shady business and he hoped she would be okay. He missed her. Having her back in the office, although only briefly, had really brought it home to him, how good it had been working together. He realised he had never seen that until now. It was only when he'd lost something that he could see it's importance.
Even though Kate had betrayed his trust, he understood why she had done it, and harboured no ill feelings towards her. He just felt a bit sad. She was in a terrible position, working for a new boss like that. Even Hastings had never been that suspicious. He didn't trust Davidson at all. He had tried to warn Kate, but she hadn't listened. She definitely had a crush on her new boss, he thought. When she mentioned they had held hands, gone out one to one for dinner and for drinks and described the hug, he had felt a twinge of jealousy. She hadn't done that with him, ever. Well maybe a couple of good hugs, that was all. He really missed her smile and the solidness of her character. He knew he could lean on her, he guessed.
He picked up his phone, wondering if he should text her something lame, and was surprised to see a recent missed call from Kate. It had been on silent, he realised. He rang her back and to his surprise again, she answered almost immediately.
"Hi, Kate," he said. "Did you want me?"
She laughed, a proper belly laugh, which made him smile. Despite the laugh, he sensed a sadness.
"Can I come up? I'm actually outside," she replied.
"What, here?" he answered stupidly, before dashing to the lift to meet her in reception.
He almost ran to where she was waiting and wrapped her in a long hug, ignoring the looks of passers-by. Let them stare he thought, his mate was here.
"I was literally just thinking about you, Kate" he told her. "How much of a coincidence was that?"
She looked at him closely, as they separated from the hug. "Well, I guess working with you for nearly ten years means something mate," she replied, touching him lightly on the arm. "How have you been?"
"Let's talk about me later," Steve replied, keen to avoid giving her an answer just yet. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to speak to you," Kate said quietly, "can we go somewhere more private?"
Steve led them back to his desk. There was no one about so this was as good a place as any.
He looked at her expectantly. She had lost weight he noted, but she still looked good. New hair shade, nice necklace, smart suit. She had clearly come here directly from work.
"What?" she smiled at him. He noticed dark rings under her eyes, and a tinge of sadness despite the smile.
"I was just thinking you look good," he said, honestly.
"Ok, mate" she said, a little embarrassed by his directness. "I thought I was the one who usually embarrassed you."
"Just saying," he answered, smiling despite her discomfort. Kate returned the smile, her hand moving to touch his arm, as if to draw strength.
Kate's smile faded quickly, and she put her hands in her head. She started speaking quietly, unable to meet Steve's eyes.
"I've made a mistake mate," she said sadly. "I got too involved with Jo and now I realise I'm in too deep. She's dangerous and I'm scared. I don't have any evidence, she's too bloody careful, but I just know she is in the pocket of the OCG. I don't know what to do."
"What do you mean involved Kate?" Steve queried carefully.
"Well, I led her on, letting her believe I fancied her. I just felt flattered, and I enjoyed her attention. I thought she was quite inspiring; you know I love a strong female role model. We went out a few times, and I invited her back to mine for coffee. She kissed me and I didn't pull away. She wanted to carry on, you know, but I wasn't really up for that, so I said 'no' and she totally flipped out, and now she's trying to punish me." Kate began crying. Steve moved closer, leaned across, and embraced her, stroking her hair gently.
"It's not like you to be scared, Kate. What do you mean 'punish' you?"
"I think she's trying to set me up to look like I'm working with the OCG, the same way she did with Farida. I found this in my service vehicle, and I promise you Steve, it's not mine."
She held up an evidence bag containing a 'burner' type phone.
"Jesus Christ, Kate," exclaimed Steve. He snatched it off her. "Let me have that."
"You won't find anything on it, like I said she is too clever," said Kate sadly.
Steve moved away, realising they had been holding each other for a long while. He didn't want to, but had a question to ask.
"So do you have feelings for Jo?" he said watching her closely.
"No," said Kate wretchedly. "I never really fancied her; I think I was lonely. Now I'm just afraid."
Steve swallowed with relief. His throat suddenly felt very dry. "What do you mean she is dangerous?" he probed.
"God, Steve. I don't know. But if you'd seen her face, when I rejected her advances, she looked at me with such hate. And then I found Ryan adding something to my tea. And I found an email to DCC Wise that I hadn't sent. And I had broken glass through my letterbox. Now the phone. I'm really scared mate."
She began crying again, her whole body shaking this time. Steve stood and rubbed his chin, thinking. Then he took her hand.
"Well, that settles it Kate, you're coming to stay with me for now," decided Steve. "I've no food or alcohol in, but those are the least of our worries."
Kate looked up at him, her mascara running in tiny streams down her face. Her sobs wracked her body. Steve thought back to the last time he had seen her this upset. It was when she had first split from her husband, and he had a call from uniforms about a disturbance at her house. She was distraught then, beyond reason. But now, she seemed frightened, and he could see why. After their involvement in OCG over the years, they both knew the risks. The crime gangs thought nothing of disposing of someone who stood in their way, or was no longer if any use to them. They had seen it with Laverty, and Danny and Corbett. And Denton and Dot. And Hilton and Maneet. It didn't matter who you were, or how important you were, the outcome was the same.
"Come on," he said, putting his arm around her waist and encouraging her to come with him. "Let's go."
In the car he turned the heating up, to combat her shivering. Shock had set in. He drove a different route home, but it didn't seem like anyone was following them.
When they entered his flat, he wished he had tidied up a bit, but Kate didn't seem to notice. She sat on the sofa in silence, staring at the carpet.
He made them toast from the freezer, which she ate without looking at, and a scalding hot cup of tea, and then encouraged her to get in a hot shower to try and relax. He located a clean t-shirt and spare toothbrush. It felt good having someone to look after. Especially her.
She sat on his sofa again, in his dressing gown, her damp hair in disarray. He stroked it, without thinking, but she didn't seem to mind. She smelled nice, she'd used a shower gel of his, but it smelt better on her.
"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" she asked sheepishly. "With you?"
He smiled. "I never thought you'd ask," he joked.
But as they both got into his bed, she held him tightly, the tears returning.
"Mate," he said simply.
It wasn't too clear who initiated the kiss, it just seemed to happen, a thing of comfort and familiarity. They kissed for a while, enjoying the closeness. Steve was about to break away to explain that he couldn't follow through, when he realised that the sensation from his groin signalled an erection. Kate noticed too, and smiled shyly at him. "Can I?" she asked and began to stroke him gently.
"Are you sure you're not gay?" he whispered as he kissed her again.
"Nope," she confirmed. "Are you sure you aren't taking advantage of me at a time of crisis?" she added with a grin.
"I probably am," he answered. "But God, I want you so badly."
The kissing began again.
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The next morning dawned and they were both deeply asleep, limbs entwined comfortably, when the alarm went off. As Steve opened his eyes, he wondered blearily if things would get awkward between them.
He also felt happier than he had done in a long while. Who would have thought his plumbing was still working? And that Kate would end up in his bed? He smiled widely as he showered and made them both a cup of coffee.
When he took the drinks through, Kate had fallen back asleep, and looked peaceful, lying there. He sipped his coffee slowly, but couldn't resist kissing her on the cheek. She woke and turned her head, moving the kiss onto her lips, and gripping his arms. The sheet pulled off her as she moved and Steve couldn't help admiring her figure. She caught him looking, and pulled him back into bed with barely enough time to put his cup down somewhere.
So much for the possibility of awkwardness, thought Steve, smiling to himself. He felt stirrings again and felt that of everyone, of course it would be Kate, who he trusted and cared about, who without even realising it, had helped him more than she knew.
Whatever it took he would protect her, and wherever their relationship led, he would be grateful that their friendship and trust had allowed him to be able to help her in a time of need. His heart felt like it might burst. He pushed down thoughts of needing to ring the gaffer soon and began to deal with the beautiful person in his bed.
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Kate listened while Steve made the call to Hastings from the flat. She was wearing his dressing gown, which smelled of him. She sipped her tea. Steve was back in work mode and was efficiently making arrangements. He had got dressed and was wearing one of his signature waistcoats. She rested her head on the back of the chair. The last week had been exhausting and she needed a rest. She had enjoyed last night with Steve, but it had only put off dealing with the issues until now. She signalled 'having a shower' and Steve nodded in understanding.
When she had finished the shower, he was off the phone. Ever practical, he had found her one of his shirts and pair of boxers to borrow. She smiled as she put them on, they weren't a bad fit, him being a short arse as he put it.
"The gaffer is heading over now," he told her. "Then I'll take you back to your place to grab some things and drive you to your sister's, like you suggested. Is that okay with you?"
She nodded.
Hastings rang the bell and came in looking closely at them both. He never misses a trick thought Kate. They sat around the table and Steve made tea.
"So, you stayed here last night?" Hastings asked, noting the lack of spare bedding and the sofa in full order. "Very cosy."
"Yes, sir," said Kate.
She looked away. She hated lying to Steve, despite having to.
"Well, let's get you sorted out then Kate," said Hastings.
"How will we get Jo to agree to two weeks leave for Kate, without telling her why?" Steve queried.
Hastings gave Steve a long look. "Well, now is the time I should probably tell you what's going on," admitted Hastings.
Steve looked puzzled, looking from Kate to the gaffer and back again.
"What is going on?"
"Well, the truth of the matter is that Kate never actually left AC-12. She is still working for me, looking into Buckells and Davidson, and now Pilkington at Hillside. So her taking leave, won't be an issue," he added.
"What?" spluttered Steve.
"Yes, Steve. Sorry, son. I couldn't tell you the truth, as it would have compromised the operation. I knew that somehow if you knew, you would treat her differently. Others would soon cotton on. No pun intended."
Steve was without words. But he didn't look pleased.
"Sorry, mate," added Kate.
"Don't you two trust me?" he said.
"This wasn't about trust Son. I know how close you and Kate were. Are. We needed you to think she wanted out, and for her to seem as if she'd left. It was my call. Not Kate's. She wasn't up for lying to you, if that helps."
Steve thought, rubbing his head. "So how long have you been looking into Hillside?" he asked.
"A long time son. A long time. That place is rotten and has been since Dot was based there. But for Kate's safety, we will have to scale back now. Davidson is definitely onto her."
Hastings got up and made to leave. He handed Steve and Kate phones he had brought with him.
"These are just like our favourite OCG burner phones, so we can speak freely. I suggest Steve, that you rent a car to drive Kate rather than use your service vehicle that can be traced. I'll be in touch this evening," he said. "I won't expect you in the office today son, it's quite a drive there," he smiled knowingly at the pair.
Steve showed him out. He turned to Kate. "How did he guess?" he said frustrated. "I'm not ashamed Kate, don't get me wrong, but I hardly wanted the gaffer to find out right away."
"Oh, he knows us better than you think, Steve. It was always on the cards in a job like ours. Just who else can we trust except each other?" she explained carefully.
Steve looked at her and kept looking. He finally grinned. "You look hot in my shirt Kate," he added. "I can't pretend I don't like it."
Kate returned the smile. "Despite all this shit with Davidson, I'm pleased things happened with us. It's almost a relief now you know what's been going on. And the gaffer did almost give you permission to stay over tonight. My sister won't mind," she explained.
"Come on then, what are we waiting for?" Steve challenged.
His spark had most definitely returned, thought Kate. She gathered her things and made the bed, smiling at what had happened there.
They drove over to her place in companiable silence, listening to the radio. Catchy tunes from the 80s had them humming and wiggling in their seats. Steve kept catching her eye, despite being the driver, and it was enough to make them laugh loudly like nothing was wrong in the world.
"You're going to have an RTA if you carry on paying no attention to the road, mate," commented Kate.
Steve nodded and tried to focus better. "Do you ever wonder what job we might have done if we weren't in the police service?" he asked her.
"God, no. This is everything I've ever wanted to do," replied Kate. "I had to choose between work and my marriage, and I chose work," she said sadly. "We are married to the job."
Steve touched her hand gently. "I suppose it's why we understand each other so well."
At Kate's place, Steve went in first and checked all the rooms. It was clear. "How long have you lived here?" he asked, looking at the broken glass still on the doormat.
"Not long really, I rented it after me and Mark split up for good. I think I'll move somewhere else; I don't really feel settled here," she said.
She went to the bedroom and began packing some essentials in a bag. Steve sat and watched her from the bed. "I'll put the kettle on," he said at last, after watching her move around for some time.
"Thanks mate," she said. She gave him a kiss, then a hug. He was so good for her, she thought. Why would things have to become so complicated?
They drove steadily in the gathering dusk, in the Volvo that Steve had rented that afternoon. Her sister lived near the coast, south of Blackpool, and it was dark as they arrived. Steve was pleased to meet her sister and they had a meal together, before heading up to bed. The room was simply furnished but comfortable. Kate's nephew had long moved out and her sister lived alone.
As they laid together comfortably, Kate asked a question she had been puzzling over.
"Steve, did you start to say that you weren't able to have sex?"
"Yes Kate," Steve replied quietly. "I think it's because of my back and the fall but I'm too scared to see a doctor in case it affects the job," he admitted sadly.
"But it's been fine with us," Kate wondered.
"I know, and I was proper surprised mate, believe me. You're my first in some time."
"Really?" she smiled. "Well after me and Mark separated, I've been single too. What are you going to do about your back though?"
"Well, it might be out of my hands now, as I had a routine drugs test last week, and what I've been taking for the pain might show up. I'm scared Kate."
"My sister is a doctor, Steve, let's talk to her in the morning," advised Kate.
"Ok," Steve agreed. He stroked her cheek. "You're good for me Kate," he said quietly.
"Funny, I was just thinking the same."
They pulled closer, and enjoyed a second night of happiness together.
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Steve sat in the warm kitchen, chatting with Kate's sister Jenny. She confirmed that the drugs test would indeed show the medication that Steve had been taking. Steve swore under his breath.
"Steve, I could put you in touch with a friend of mine who specialises in spinal problems and if you booked physio sessions through him, the police occupational health team would agree that you are seeking appropriate medical advice and support," she advised.
Steve felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "You and your sister are both life savers," he concluded.
As he went outside to drive back and return the hire car, he spontaneously grabbed Kate in a fierce hug. They laughed together at how immature their behaviour was.
"Mate, I'm on cloud nine right now, I think you'd better watch out, I'm definitely falling for you Kate," Steve admitted.
Kate wasn't sure quite how to answer. She certainly felt strongly about him too, but it was not as straightforward as he thought. God, she wished it was.
She settled for a long kiss on the lips, hoping get sister's neighbours wouldn't judge her too harshly.
Steve left and she went inside. She opened her bag and took out the burner phone.
But it wasn't the phone Hastings had given her. It was answered on the second ring.
"Yes?" said the harsh voice of Osbourne.
"I'm ready," she said, swallowing rapidly with a feeling of dread.
"I'll be in touch," said the voice and rang off.
Kate put her head in her hands. How could she do this the Steve and the gaffer? Tears fell from her eyes as her shoulders shook.
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Kate and Steve left the offices together after checking in with Hastings. Kate was pleased she was back with the team she felt familiar with. They all trusted and understood each other, working together over nearly 10 years. Which made what she was being forced to do, all the worse.
She resisted the urge to hold Steve's hand for support, but he had no similar concerns, and grabbed her hand in both of hers, leading her to his car. "It's been a long day," he stated, "I can't wait to get back, but we have to stop off to pick up some food."
Even supermarket shopping was better with good company, she thought. They pulled up in the car park which was empty as it was now late. They wandered the aisles hand in hand. Steve had kissed her passionately in the car, and the way he kept glancing at her, left her in no doubt what was on his mind.
They were just finishing at the self-checkout when she sensed someone staring at her. Looking up, she met the eyes of Jo Davidson. Jo did not look happy to see her and when she realised Steve was also there, her face filled with more bitterness. Steve had now seen her, and a scene was inevitable.
"Ma'am", said Steve neutrally.
"So, you were a lying bitch Kate," said Jo, ignoring Steve's greeting. "I bloody knew I couldn't trust you."
Kate said nothing. Jo was right after all.
"Now hang on, ma'am, Kate was just doing her job," Steve intervened. "We are all under orders."
Jo tore her eyes away from Kate to look at Steve. "The pair of you deserve each other," she said, noting Steve's protective arm on Kate's waist. "I never want to see either of you again," she hissed and stormed off.
"Jesus," said Steve. "She's a nasty piece of work." He looked at Kate, who was fighting tears. The whole situation was just overwhelming. She was tough, tough enough to deal with this in normal circumstances, but knowing that it was all going to implode left her with no reserves. "Come here, mate," he said, shifting the shopping bag and putting his arm around her shoulder.
They prepared a simple meal together and ate in silence, the light mood of the day now dissipated.
Steve was no fool. "When are you going to tell me what's really going on, Kate?" he asked gently. "I know that you would usually have taken all of that in your stride. What is the matter?"
What could she say to him? How could she explain? She was desperate to tell him and share the burden, but she didn't know where to start.
Instead, she leaned over and stroked his beard. And then carefully unbuttoned his shirt. He smiled but still his eyes still looked troubled. They moved slowly towards the bedroom, by mutual agreement.
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They were both due in the office early, so there was little time for a chat in the morning. When Steve was in the shower, Kate took a call on his mobile from her sister's friend the doctor, who arranged a meeting tomorrow afternoon with Steve. She booked a physiotherapy session for him too.
When had they become so comfortable with each other? she wondered. She explained the appointments to him from just outside the bathroom door, and longingly looked at his outline in the shower. He was so wholesome, so solid. Nothing else in her life was solid now. Not her job, not her flat, not her marriage and certainly not her morals.
As she left him humming away contentedly, her burner phone rang. It was a dangerous risk to take the call in the flat, but she had no choice.
Osbourne's gravelly voice gave her a series of instructions. She was to leave the burner concealed in the flat. She was to leave some foreign DNA in his bathroom. And then she was to find out Hasting's movements for the rest of the day. She swallowed, a sinking feeling enveloping her. She was too nervous for breakfast, but made a coffee for Steve.
She put the phone in the top of his wardrobe as instructed and noticed a thin brown parcel that had been posted through the letterbox. It hadn't been there earlier. It contained a plastic bag with what looked like hair fibres. She returned to the bathroom, and emptied the fibres onto his hairbrush.
She sat at the table, slightly shaking. Steve came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, and gave her a long hug. She felt that if he didn't hold her up, she might collapse. "You're shaking mate," he noticed. "Are you okay?"
"God no, Steve," she replied honestly. "It's just all getting on top of me." She buried her face in his shoulder and closed her eyes, letting the tears fall. He held her for a long while, until she began to breathe more evenly.
"Oh, mate," he said, planting a gentle kiss on her lips. He smelt of shower gel and tasted of coffee. She drank in his smell as if it was the last time she would ever hold him. The thought didn't help her state of mind.
They roused themselves, and made for the office, Kate still jumpy and on edge.
Hastings called them in and noted the comfortable body language of the pair. "You too alright?" he asked them.
Steve replied for her. "I'm worried about Kate sir, she's still not herself."
Hastings looked closely at her, noticing her slightly dishevelled appearance and red rimmed eyes.
"Well girl?" he asked, not in an unfriendly way.
"It's true, sir," she agreed. "I feel like I'm just on edge the whole time. We saw Jo yesterday and she was really unpleasant. I guess it's rattled my confidence."
Steve reached for her hand, which didn't go unnoticed by the gaffer. "We'll get through it, mate," he reassured her.
"Well, I'm meeting with DCC Wise shortly and then I'm back in the office this afternoon, so we can catch up then," Hastings stated. "I'll not let any officer of mine be the victim of bullying by another officer, no matter who they are," he added.
Back at her desk, Kate unwillingly relayed the information she had learned to Osbourne using an encrypted message app on her phone. She felt some degree of relief, having done what she needed, but this was quickly followed by the realisation that she would really never be done.
Later on that afternoon, Hastings beckoned them both, and Chloe into his room. "We need to speak to all three of you," he explained.
"We?" queried Steve.
"Yes 'we' Steve, you never miss a trick son," he commented a little proudly.
At this point, Buckells strode into AC-12. He entered the office and glanced around. "Afternoon Sir," he greeted Hastings.
"Welcome, welcome," replied Hastings to stares of surprise and some hostility.
"Buckells here is working for me. He's here to share his findings with us all. This is all in the strictest confidence, as he is still working undercover with Jo and Ryan at the Hill."
"Oh!" exclaimed Kate.
The meeting went on late into the evening, and covered many issues in detail. Although Chloe wasn't too familiar with him, Kate and Steve were really surprised at just what an effective undercover officer Buckells had become. His manner of apparent stupidity had allowed him into many confidences. Kate realised he had been privy to information that might incriminate her, and she struggled to focus on the discussion, as her mind ran away with the implications of his findings.
Glancing through the windows, Kate realised that it was now dark outside. From the corner of her eye, she caught sight of a figure in black making their way towards the group. She turned to look more closely, but didn't recognise the person. There was something suspicious in his manner, and she quietly growled Steve's name. He also turned to look, but within a split second the figure had raised a semi-automatic weapon in their direction.
"Take cover," she called urgently, and she and Steve launched themselves at the floor. The others were slower off the mark and the bullets found their mark, Hastings, Buckells and Chloe all being gunned down in a sea of blood.
The gunman fled and Steve got on his phone, shouting urgently "Status zero, status zero, AC-12 offices, second floor, three officers down. Single gunman appears to be fleeing the scene through the fire exit."
The next few minutes were a blur to Kate, but she found herself eventually sitting with a blanket around her, against the wall. Her head swam, and she couldn't stand for fear of falling over. Paramedics had checked her and Steve, who had escaped unharmed, but she didn't know what had happened to the others, who had been taken away.
Steve was liaising with emergency services and other police departments including counterterrorism, but she felt exhausted and unable to string a sentence together. He came over at last and helped her up. "We've been cleared to go, there's nothing more we can do now," he relayed.
As they parked outside his block of flats, it became clear that the night hadn't ended. The place was an active crime scene. Even though she had known it would happen, Kate began crying as Steve was arrested and led away in handcuffs. He threw her a look which she knew meant his mind was sifting through all the information, considering the alternatives. She felt dreadful. She took a taxi back to her flat and sat on her own sofa. The heating hadn't been on for some time, and the place was cold and uninviting. She shivered and began to sob quietly, feeling wretched and alone.
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In the early hours, officers came and arrested her, and she went quietly, almost willingly. She tried to find out how Hastings and the others were, but none would share any information.
She was released without charge and she asked to see Steve. She had had to beg, and her request was very nearly denied, but eventually Sam had taken pity on her, knowing how close they were.
She tried to reach for him, to hug him, but Steve pulled away. He looked at her with pain in his eyes. She knew she deserved it. He had figured out it had been her.
"Why, Kate?" he almost whispered.
"Oh God, Steve. I'm sorry," she pleaded, realised there was no point in not telling him the truth. They were over. 'They blackmailed me mate," she admitted. "They had information about my finances and they found out about the affair with Richard. It would have finished me."
"Mate," said Steve sadly, shaking his head. "But I was your friend. I could have helped you. God, I nearly fell in love with you. Hastings and Chloe are dead and Buckells is in a coma," he added quietly. "I can never forgive you."
Kate hung her head. Sam came and arrested her again, and she was led away.
"Thanks Steve," said Sam. "That was the break we needed. She may never have admitted it to us, but you were right in thinking she would tell you."
"What a mess," stated Steve as Sam gave him a well deserved hug. "What a bloody mess."
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