Reminiscing

Post-AOT and Slightly AU, This Drabble is basically me coping with 139. Warning Spoilers.

Disclaimer: I don't own AoT.

Warning: this is the first time I am writing for this fandom and these characters.

Pairings: RivaMika, EreHisu and One-sided EreMika.

"I can't do this anymore Eren"

Mikasa Ackerman wasn't stupid, she knew how her remaining friends and make shift comrades thought of her being alone in Shiganshina. Even after three years, she still couldn't get used to the land being without those damn colossal titan filled walls.

Armin pretended to understand her reasoning for playing widow to someone who didn't love her in the way that she'd felt for him. It was off putting to say the least. If Mikasa was going to start being honest with herself, she knew well enough that she isn't the only 'widow' to be grieving for one Eren Yeager.

She also knew Armin was worried about her but she wasn't going to stop him from living his life with Annie just so he could lie more to her about how Eren 'loved' her. Mikasa simply sighed as she looked down to the small headstone. Some could argue it was more than what Eren deserved and no way in hell was she going to let any of Eren's extreme supporters find out that a piece of him had returned to Paradis but the female Ackerman felt she owed it to at least to Carla Yeager, her second mother, to give her son some degree of a proper burial. Mikasa felt like she failed not only Eren but Carla as well. So she had to leave it nameless one last act of her protection.

She protected him as much as she could to the point where he'd lashed out at her, Mikasa frowning at plethora of memories just like it. That damn promise to Carla doomed her when she was younger, hell it still doomed her as the female Ackerman was set on torturing herself with guilt and grief.

Seeing everyone at Historia's home celebrating her daughter's 3rd birthday had been the proof of reality that she hadn't been quite ready to face, Mikasa already knew of Armin and Annie, Mikasa was certainly surprised to see Jean and Peick hand in hand while yes she could never return Jean's affection. It was nice to see him someone who could. He deserved to have someone to make him happy.

But yet life didn't seem to grant that one wish for her.

Both Gabi and Falco had grown so much in those three years, almost nearly didn't recognize the duo. Reiner was finally healing, he didn't feel so torn between the pressures of Solider and Warrior anymore.

Connie had his mother back. Connie was so lucky in that regard.

Historia and her daughter Ymir, named after freckled brunette rather than the mother of Titans. The child was nearly a copy of her mother except on obvious detail, her eyes were his eyes. Mikasa could recognize them anywhere.

What was one more blow to her heart anyway?

Seeing that child finally made her wake up, she couldn't live like this anymore. This wasn't what Mikasa wanted at all, she didn't ask to be burden with all this pain caused by Eren. Even when he's three years dead he still can manage to hurt her.

Also leaving behind...

Anyway it was her time to move on "A part of me will always care for you but I can't live in the past with you anymore. Someone else needs me more" reaching up taking off the red scarf that bonded her to him and she wrapped around the small headstone. Truth be told Mikasa wasn't sure if she'd want to return to visit this place anytime soon. "I should of have done this a long time ago, good-bye Eren" Mikasa said as she started to stand up from the ground.

And then that brings her to Captain Levi, whom was waiting for her as he stood by with his walking cane. She'd been shocked by the sight of his wheelchair at Historia's but it was merely for show as Levi was determined to not be in that damn chair forever. He'd spent the three years healing and retraining his body to function as it always had.

Seeing Levi for the first time in those damn three years took a toll on Mikasa as she certainly wasn't prepared to confront him and the feelings she'd buried deep down for the sake of someone else. When they had a moment alone together Levi didn't stop her as she ran her fingers on the side of his scarred face, Mikasa couldn't stop herself from lightly tracing the scar with her fingertips. He simply let her until he closed the gap between them and kissed her.

Mikasa used to feel guilty for having feelings for her then Captain whereas her feelings for Eren had changed. it was probably why she had left that day she just felt so damn guilty for not loving Eren the way that she had. Having also to be the one who killed him, didn't make it easier.

Mikasa did regret leaving Levi behind that day.

Her and Levi, who would have thought?

He took her gently by the arm, interlocking with his as they headed off, neither of them looking back as they wouldn't see the dove that gently flew down and sat upon the headstone.