Callum,
I'm sorry.
I say that, knowing full well the consequences of my actions. At best, me leaving has hurt you deeply, and my lie has shaken your trust in me. At worst, it's been irrevocably broken, and you'll want nothing to do with me when I return, if I should be so lucky.
It's a risk I had to take, Callum. As hard as it was to hurt you. As hard as it was for me to leave you, I didn't have a choice. I know he's alive, or at the very least, he's not completely dead. I know what I saw last night...I know he's out there, plotting his revenge.
I can't not do anything about it. Viram has taken everything from me. My parents, my mentor, everyone I love, except for you. I haven't told you the details about my nightmares, but they've all been the same...I see Viran killing my parents, then Runaan, and then it always ends with him capturing and killing you too. The pain I feel in those dreams is almost unbearable...I can't let them come true. I can't lose you too. I need to find Viram, and I need to make sure he stays dead this time.
I wish I meant what I said about you coming with me. I'd want nothing more than to have you by my side, to go through this together. "Together is the most important thing", that's what you said. And you're right. But there's no being together if Viram kills you, Callum. And while the thought of spending the next few weeks or months without you pains me deeply, it's not nearly as bad as much as the thought of you getting hurt...or worse. Not when I know I can do something to prevent it, on my own.
The cruel irony of it all is I may still lose you anyway. You must be furious with me. Angry, hurt, upset, betrayed. I wouldn't blame you if you were never able to forgive me after this. My choices may forever ruin our relationship, but I'd rather you be alive and well without me, than to die in my arms. I will respect whatever decision you make once we are reunited, but know that my heart will always be yours, Callum. I've never loved someone as much as I do you. You're the kindest, most thoughtful person - human or elf - that I've ever known. Our short time together has been the happiest of my life. The selfish part of me hopes dearly you can find it in your heart to forgive me, that we can pick up where we left off once I've finished Viram once and for all. But, deep down, I know it won't be as easy as that. If nothing else, even if you move on and want to end our relationship, please just know I'm so grateful for the time that we had together. Thank you for always being there for me, for supporting me, helping me through it all. I could never put into words how thankful I am to have had someone like you in my life.
I don't want to stop writing, partly because there is so much left to say, and partly because once I finish it means I actually have to leave. This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I'll do my best to find Viram, and end him, as quickly as I can. Please stay safe while I'm gone. Watch over Ezran. Don't come after me, Callum - I'm serious, you won't be able to find me anyway. You know that.
I love you.
Rayla