Aloha... It has been... awhile since I've published anything, haha. But I've been high key binging Criminal Minds lately, and I've gotten a few ideas of stuff to write for it. So here I am. Without further ado, here ya go. I would like to mention that this is set in Season 7 of Criminal Minds, and there's definitely spoilers if you haven't watched the show up until that season. Like, the literal first sentence is a spoiler, so I would suggest not reading further if you're a newbie to Criminal Minds. Also, I don't own Criminal Minds or any of the characters associated with it, so of course, all rights go to their respective owners.
The night of Emily Prentiss' "death" had been one of the hardest nights of every one of BAU members' lives. Jennifer Jureau scanned the waiting room where everyone had gathered anticipating the news, praying it would be good. The lie tasted like venom on her tongue as she spoke, "She never made it off the table" and watched as her old team crumbled around her. Penelope Garcia instantly started crying. Derek Morgan who had already been pacing back and forth the hospital floor had to stop himself from hitting a wall, firmly placing a hand on Garcia's shoulder to try and offer some comfort. His eyes were tearing up and he couldn't bear to look at JJ. David Rossi stared solemnly at the floor, trying to process the news with misty eyes. Seaver stared in horror, an array of emotions flashing across her face. She never really had gotten the chance to develop a bond with Emily, but she had grown to love her company. And then there was Spencer Reid. Upon hearing the news, he stood from his seat and started to leave. JJ stepped in his way, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Spence…"
"I never got a chance to say goodbye…" He whispered. JJ quickly pulled him into her arms as he broke down. She made eye contact with Hotch, who quickly stepped out of the waiting room, as she rubbed Reid's back.
"I… I'm sorry," He said, pulling away after a few moments and wiping his eyes. "I um.. I need some air." He pushed past JJ and this time she let him go, watching as he disappeared. She smoothed her blouse before stepping into the hallway where Hotch was.
"Is… she?" He asked after a moment, glancing at her. He looked exhausted and JJ shook her head.
"She's stable for now." JJ informed him. "They are doing all they can to get her prepared to be transferred."
Hotch let out a sigh of relief, feeling as if he needed to hear the confirmation before he could really believe it. He nodded. "No one else can know about this… if Doyle is watching-"
"I know, Hotch." JJ nodded, wiping at her eyes. "I think that might've been the hardest thing I've ever had to do…" She laughs weakly and shakes her head.
"It's for her safety." Hotch reminded her.
"I know… I know. I'm not going to say anything… just…" She shook her head again.
"I know…" Hotch agreed quietly.
JJ wiped another tear away, laughing weakly, because why was she crying? Emily was alive. Somehow, it still felt like she had lost a friend. She was surprised when Hotch gave her a hug, hugging back somewhat awkwardly.
"Thank you for being here." He said, pulling away. "We've all missed you, and after tonight, we're going to need you more than ever."
"Hotch… You know I still work at the Pentagon." JJ said quizzically.
"I know… There just might be a time when one of your old team members reaches out. Garcia, Reid… Hell, maybe even Morgan. I know it'll be rough knowing what you know, but I'm hoping you can be there for them."
"Of course." JJ said without a second thought. "I love you guys… I…" She shakes her head, running her fingers through her hair. "I'll be there for them."
"Thank you, JJ." Hotch said, giving her a curt nod before heading back out to the waiting room. JJ followed suit, glad to see Reid had come back and was hugging it out with Garcia. They were both a mess. Morgan was gone now, and JJ knew the man well enough to know he would want to grieve alone. Hotch had taken the liberty of checking up on Rossi and Seaver, so JJ made her way to the two of her son's Godparents.
"Guys…" She said, "Do you mind if I join?"
Reid sniffled, and shook his head.
"Oh my God, of course." Garcia said quickly, hauling her into the hug. "I just… I can't believe she's gone. I knew something was up with her too."
"Hey, don't do that," JJ said, rubbing Garcia's back. "No one could've known."
"I should've pieced together the Lauren Reynolds thing." Reid said, taking a shaky breath.
"No. No. You two, stop. Emily wouldn't want you guys doing this to yourself." JJ said through tears. Her tone was serious despite it.
"I just…" Garcia shook her head, a silent sob racking her chest. Reid let JJ step in and hug her. JJ led Garcia to a chair to sit, looking back at Reid. His hazel eyes were bloodshot and his clothes were rumpled and streaked with tears. He tried to give her a smile, as if to say he was okay, but it came off as more of a grimace. His bottom lip trembled and he looked away before walking over to where Hotch, Rossi, and Seaver were grouped up. The night ended up being long and devastating, but slowly the members of the group trickled out of the waiting room. Kevin came and picked up Garcia. Hotch left on his own. Rossi followed suit, but offered a ride to Seaver who gratefully took it. Morgan hadn't come back. Soon it was just JJ and Reid.
"Will is on the way to pick me up," She said, "we're going to give you a ride home."
"It's okay JJ. I'll just get a cab… or maybe I can catch the train…" Reid started, rubbing at his eyes.
"Nope." JJ said, popping the "p". "I'm not leaving you here in the waiting room of the hospital alone, Spence. Not after everything. Come on." She said, getting to her feet and holding out her hands in front of Reid.
He sighed, and reluctantly gave her his hands and she hauled him up. His tall and lanky frame seemed to be weighed down by an invisible cloak of exhaustion. Holding his hands for a split second to haul him up made her realize that, besides these past couple days, she really hadn't seen much of Reid since she got transferred. She hated that these were the circumstances that brought them together again, but she made a silent vow that she would be there for him as much as she could be from here on out. She led him out of the waiting room and into the porch. The two stood in silence for a while, and JJ glanced over at Reid. She could practically hear his brain working.
"What's up? What are you thinking about?"
"I didn't go with them." Reid said quietly. "You know, Hotch went. Rossi went. Morgan went. Seaver… Hell, even the SWAT team went. I didn't."
"Spence." She said, eyes softening.
"I mean, Hotch told me to stay. I'm almost always kept off the field in situations like that…" He said, continuing to talk in the same hushed tone. "This time it was to keep Garcia calm. But I mean, why should've we been calm? We had every right to be worried. Look what happened."
"Spence, no one knew this was going to happen. You and Garcia thought we were just going to bring Emily home." JJ tried to reason.
"I wasn't there for her." Reid said firmly. "She risked her life for me when we went undercover and tried to get intel on Cyrus… I didn't even leave the building to save her from Doyle."
"Spence, you can't beat yourself up like that…" JJ said, almost pleadingly. "Emily wouldn't want that."
Reid was quiet, wiping a tear away quickly. "Will's here." He said, voice tight.
"Spence…" JJ started, agonizing over the fact she couldn't tell him that Emily was alive.
Reid moved forward, opening the door and holding it for JJ. He wouldn't look at her until he got his crying under control. JJ bit her lip, walking over to her boyfriend's vehicle. "Hey baby," She said, giving him a quick peck through the window.
"Jennifer, are you okay?" Will said, looking at her. He saw that she was crying, and moved to get out but she stopped him.
"I'm fine. Um, do you mind if we give Spence a ride home?"
"Yeah, of course. The sitters home with Henry right now." Will told her.
JJ nodded, waving over to Reid. He walked over, keeping his head down. JJ opened the door for him and he slipped into the backseat before she circled around the car to get into the passengers. Reid sniffled a little, wiping at his eyes again.
"Spencer, man. I'm so sorry. I know how much she meant to the two of you." Will spoke, his hand finding JJ's even though his eyes were trained on Spencer in the rear view mirror.
"Thanks, Will…" Reid managed weakly.
"You know, you can stay the night at ours." Will said, "I don't like the idea of you alone at home dealing with all of this."
JJ glanced over at Will, surprised he offered but overjoyed that he did.
"Are you sure?" Reid asked softly.
"Yeah I'm sure. Henry's missed you a lot." Will says, giving him a small smile. He glanced over to JJ, catching her gaze. She mouthed "thank you" before giving his hand a tight squeeze.
"You're staying." JJ said matter of factly, answering for Reid.
Reid laughed, although there wasn't really much life to it. "Thank you…" He said, leaning his head back against the headrest and closing his eyes… as if that would stop the tears. The drive home was quiet and the three adults entered Will and JJ's place shortly after 2am. Will went up the stairs to get some blankets and a pillow for Reid while JJ locked the door. Reid wiped his eyes again and JJ frowned. "Let me get you a glass of water... Make yourself at home."
"Thanks JJ," Reid said tiredly, finding his way to the living room and sinking down on the couch. JJ made her way to the kitchen to get a drink for Reid. She smiled tiredly at the babysitter who was reading in the kitchen. "Ms. Jureau! I'm glad to see your home,``she said, almost too cheerfully for the night JJ had had.
"Yeah, I'm glad to be home." She admitted, getting a glass from the cupboard. "Thank you for watching Henry on such short notice."
"Of course, I don't mind." She says, standing.
JJ reached into her purse, still hanging from her shoulder and took out the cash to pay her. She made sure to add an extra few bills, pushing the money into her hand.
"We are incredibly grateful for it." She said seriously, letting out a soft sigh.
"I'm sorry to hear about your loss…" Anna said, looking at her with sympathy.
"Thank you…" JJ whispered, "Be safe driving home."
Anna nodded and got ready to leave, slipping out of the house quietly. When JJ finally got back to Reid with his water, she found him curled up on the couch already asleep. She smiled softly, eyes tearing up. God, the day had been so exhausting.. She laid the glass on the coffee table and looked up to see Will coming down the stairs. She put a finger to her lips and Will nodded, creeping over and laying the blanket he acquired over Reid. He looked at JJ, pulling her close and hugging her. "I'm so sorry, JJ."
JJ finally let herself relax and break down a little. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders when Will hauled her in, and she buried her face in his shoulder. "I'm… going to say goodnight to Henry…" She whispered, pecking Will's cheek.
Will nodded. "Okay… Come to bed after that, okay? I love you."
"I love you too…" She pulled away and headed up the stairs. She crept into Henry's room, seeing him curled up asleep in bed. She wiped a tear away from her eye, just watching him from the doorway for a moment. She tiptoed in and tucked the blankets around him snuggly and kissed his forehead. She lingered for a few moments, needing a few calming moments with her son to end her day on a better moment. She had no idea how she was going to be able to keep Emily's life a secret, but she didn't want to think about it at that moment. She slowly pulled away from Henry, and headed to her room to go to sleep.
After that night, Reid became a regular at the Jareau and LaMontagne household. It got to the point that Will joked that Reid should have a key for their house. Henry was ecstatic every time Reid came to visit, and Reid always tried his best to be happy and carefree around the boy. However, every time Reid showed up late at night after a particularly hard case, or when things just became too much, he was anything but happy. It pained JJ to watch Reid cry himself sick and tear himself apart almost every week about Emily, but she managed to never tell him. Every time he came over, she let him stay the night and every weekend she scheduled brunch to get him away from work and to try to brighten his mood. The visits and the brunch dates were steady for 10 weeks. But then, Emily came home and the cat was out of the bag. The moment Reid saw JJ standing with Hotch when he announced Prentiss was alive, he knew. JJ never got a chance to explain herself. The late night visits stopped.
Thanks for reading, hope it was enjoyable and what not. Feel free to leave a review if you would like to! I would love to hear what you think. The story will becoming more Reid-centric in the following chapters. I can't give an indication to when I will upload next. Life is pretty hectic over my way, and I tend to not write in a linear order. But I'll try to upload again as soon as I can. See ya next time.