I'M HARLOW, DAUGHTER OF THE EVIL GOD HADES.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MUST BE THINKING: I'M AN EVIL VILLAIN, TOO. I MEAN, HOW COULD I NOT BE WITH A DAD LIKE THAT? HE HAS THE ABILITY TO DESTROY SOULS, FOR BADNESS' SAKE. PLUS, HE TRIED CURSED AND KILL HERCULES, HIS OWN NEPHEW, ALL THOSE YEARS AGO. EVEN ALL THE BADDIES HERE ON THE ISLE OF THE LOST QUAKE AT THE SIGHT OF HIM. AND THIS PLACE BRIMS WITH ALL THE MOST EVIL VILLAINS, SIDEKICKS, AND STEPMOTHERS AND STEPSISTERS EVER—BASICALLY ALL THE INTERESTING PEOPLE.
ONCE UPON A TIME, LONG, LONG AGO…..WELL, MORE LIKE TWENTY YEARS AGO…. WHEN THE BEAST FINALLY PUT A RING ON IT AND MARRIED BELLE IN FRONT OF 6,000 OF THEIR CLOSEST PERSONAL FRIENDS. BIG CAKE. YEAH, SO INSTEAD OF A HONEYMOON, BEAST UNITED ALL OF THE KINGDOMS AND GOT HIMSELF ELECTED KING OF THE GOOD OL' USA—UNITED STATES OF AURADON (BLECH!). HE ROUNDED UP ALL THE BADDIES, VILLAINS, AND SIDEKICKS…. BASCIALLY ALL THE REALLY INTERESTING PEOPLE…. AND HE BOOTED THEM OFF TO THE ISLE OF THE LOST WITH A MAGICAL BARRIER TO KEEP US HERE. THIS ISLE IS MY 'HOOD. NO MAGIC. NO WI-FI. NO WAY OUT FOR ME AND MY FOUR WICKED FRIENDS. OR SO I THOUGHT—HANG ON, YOU'RE ABOUT TO MEET US.
BUT FIRST THIS HAPPENED...
