* Please do not translate or repost this story.

Ubbe's eyes widen as he looks around him, only now starting to take in the view. The small strip of sand, hidden in between the rocks, almost like a hidden cove. It looks like something out of a storybook, like the kind of place Hviterk and him had come up with when they were younger. The kind of place they had imagined they were when they had been hiding in their makeshift fort in their room.

"How did you find this place?"

"Last time we were here, and you were busy with those girls…"

"You came out here?" Ubbe asks. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Like I said," Hvitserk shrugs. "You were busy. So I took the boat, and I came here."

"It's beautiful," Ubbe says, but he isn't talking to his brother anymore. He is staring out at the water, a distant look in his eyes. Hvitserk can tell he is thinking of the worlds they had come up with when they were kids, that he is remembering all the times they had hidden under those blankets together, trying to hide from the arguments, from the fighting.

"The first time I came here, I wasn't sure if it was even real," Hvitserk admits. "I figured I must have come up with another place to hide, to…"

"Why would you have wanted to hide?" Ubbe shrugs. "Dad brought us here two years ago, not when we were kids."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Then tell me."

Ubbe finally turns to look at his brother, but when he sees the small smile on his lips, he just shakes his head.

"What?"

"Things are different now, Hvitserk. Things are good. You don't have to hide anymore, or come up with places to run off to in your head. You have got to start living in the real world."

"What? Like you do?" Hvitserk asks, as he sits down in the sand. His brother joins him, before looking out at the sea again. "I'm sorry."

"Dad brought us here, so we can all have a good time before the wedding, but you've been quiet all week. What's going on? Is this because Thora couldn't come with us?"

"No. Of course not.

"Then what's with the long face, huh?" Ubbe asks, and he nudges his brother in the arm, a smile forming on his face, and when Hvitserk sees it, it makes him want to open up. He knows he should keep his words, his worries, his anxiety to himself, but before he knows it, the words have already come out of his mouth.

"Everything is changing, Ubbe. Bjorn is getting married next week, you're moving in with Torvi… I just feel like…"

"I thought you'd be happy I'm finally moving out?" Ubbe asks. "You'll finally have the room all to yourself!"

Hvitserk just shrugs, but his brother nudges his arm again, the mischievous smile on his face growing.

"Now you can finally bring Thora home." Ubbe grins.

"Shut up."

"Come on, brother, no more sneaking around… no more waiting until I'm out to sneak her in…," Ubbe teases, but when he sees the look on his brother's face, the grin on his face grows bigger. "You have slept with her, haven't you?"

"No."

"Why not? It's been months! Is she one of those 'not before marriage' kind of girls? I'm not saying that's a bad thing, just…," Ubbe rambles on, trying to get out of the hole he is digging himself.

"Because I don't want to," Hvitserk mumbles, avoiding his brother's eyes. He looks down at his hands, the thoughts running through his mind, and he has to bite the inside of his lip to try and keep all of his thoughts in, to not blurt out what he has been wanting to say for weeks, months, years even.

"So you're still…"

"Yes, Ubbe," Hvitserk spits out, but when his brother keeps quiet, he looks up at him, and he sees an uncomfortable look on his face. "Go on."

"What?"

"I know you want to ask me."

"I wasn't going to ask."

"Yeah, you were," Hvitserk laughs. "Ask me."

"Why?" Ubbe asks. "I've seen you, girls are throwing themselves at you, Thora is practically… why not sleep with them? What is…"

"Wrong with me?"

"I wasn't going to say that, and you know it. I'm not judging you," Ubbe says, and Hvitserk gives a small nod, because he knows that his brother wouldn't judge him, not even if he would tell him the truth. "Are you nervous? Is that it? I mean, your first time is always a bit shit, but once you…"

"I don't want my first time to be with some random girl," Hvitserk admits. "Or with Thora."

He is still trying his very best to keep the truth in, to keep those words to himself, no matter how many times he can hear himself say the words in his mind.

But when he sees his brother's eyes widen, the colour draining from his face, he realises what has happened.

"What?" Ubbe asks, but Hvitserk just shakes his head, trying to deny he has spoken the words out loud. "Did you just…"

"No."

"You said…"

"I didn't."

"Hvitserk!"

"I didn't realise I was saying it out loud," Hvitserk admits, half expecting his brother to punch him, to start yelling at him, but then he starts laughing, and Hvitserk looks up at him.

"I'm starting to regret asking you now," Ubbe laughs, but there is no anger, none at all.

"I'm sorry."

"Do you really…"

"Want my first time to be with you?" Hvitserk repeats, this time fully aware of the fact that he is speaking the words out loud. "Don't act like you didn't know."

"I didn't. I wouldn't have mentioned it if I did, okay? I'm sorry," Ubbe sighs. He lies down in the sand, and he closes his eyes. For a moment, Hvitserk considers getting up and getting into the sea, to give Ubbe a moment to himself, after what has just been said. But when he sees the small smile forming on his brother's lips, he can't help but laugh.

"Don't tell me you've never thought about it."

"What?" Ubbe laughs, before staring up at his brother, his eyes seeming just a little brighter than usual. "About having sex with my brother? I can't say I have."

"You're lying." Hvitserk grins, when he sees the glint in Ubbe's eyes. He expects his brother to deny it, to argue with him even, but instead, Ubbe flashes him a big grin, before closing his eyes again.

So Hvitserk lies down next to him, and he tries his very best to ignore every thought, every urge, every want, every feeling that is rushing through his body right now.

"Why?"

"Huh?"

Hvitserk had been dozing off, but when he hears his brother's voice, he opens his eyes, for a split-second not sure where he is, or what his brother is talking about.

"Why do you want your first time to be with me? Why not with Thora? You're in love with her, aren't you?"

"You know why," Hvitserk mumbles. "Don't make me say it. Not again."

"Oh, shit," Ubbe spits out, before sitting up, and looking down at his brother. "I'm sorry, I didn't… I thought you had gotten over that years ago."

"What? Like you, you mean?"

"That's not fair."

"I know, I'm sorry," Hvitserk mumbles, before closing his eyes again, unable to stand the look on his brother's face any longer. But when Ubbe lies down next to him, their arms now touching, he can't help but look at him, just to try and see what he is doing. Why he is doing this? Doesn't he realise that he is making this a thousand times worse?

"My first time was horrible," Ubbe says, a small, nervous smile on his face, and Hvitserk can tell that he is trying to make the best of this situation, that he isn't making this worse on purpose. So Hvitserk listens to him, trying his best to resist the urge to get up and run.

"I didn't even know her," Ubbe admits. "This girl in my class had brought her cousin to the dance, and we started making out, and then she just…" He shrugs. "She led me outside, and we had sex behind the school."

"Your first time was behind the school?" Hvitserk laughs.

"With a girl I didn't even know. It lasted all of two minutes? When we were done, she didn't say a word. She went back inside and I didn't see her again."

"Do you regret it?"

"If I could take it back, I would. I would have shared that moment with someone special, not with some girl I didn't even know. So I get it, but…"

"This is because of Torvi, isn't it?"

"No." Ubbe flashes a small smile. "You're my little brother, Hvitserk. I should be the one to protect you from doing stupid things like this, not…"

"You kissed me!"

Ubbe's eyes grow brighter, as though a fire has been lit behind them, and Hvitserk can tell that he has gotten to him.

"I told you I was sorry, didn't I? We were both upset, and I…"

"Bullshit!"

"Hvitserk!" Ubbe warns him, but Hvitserk sits up, and he looks down at him. "I thought you had gotten over all that."

"You thought I had, or you were hoping I had?" Hvitserk asks, but he doesn't need to hear the words, because he can already see the answer in his brother's eyes. "You're a terrible liar, Ubbe."

"I know…," Ubbe sighs. "I am sorry, okay? Yes, I was hoping you had gotten over it, that you had forgotten all about it. But I also thought that you had, because you're with Thora, and you and I, we're…"

"We're what, Ubbe?" Hvitserk asks, still looking down at his brother. But Ubbe ignores his question, and he closes his eyes again, shutting out the outside world, shutting out his brother.

He used to do this when the arguments had gotten too bad, when the walls had seemed to be coming down. Ubbe had tried his best to try and comfort his little brother, but there had come a point when he had closed off, so Hvitserk had ended up holding him, and they had fallen asleep in their fort, clinging onto one another, holding onto the one thing that would keep them safe in this world.

Hvitserk watches his brother's chest rise and fall, he watches as a single tear rolls down his face, as it falls into the sand. For a split-second he is back in their fort, he can even hear the screaming, the shouting, but when he blinks, he is a teenager, and he is in their room. He is sitting on his bed, trying his best not to scream, not to start throwing things out of frustration, out of anger. Ubbe walks into the room, his face red from the crying, from the trying to argue with their mother, trying to get her to stay. But Hvitserk had heard the door slam shut, and he knows that Ubbe's arguing, that his begging, his anger, his tears, they have failed, and their mother is gone. This time is different, this time she isn't coming back.

Hvitserk gets up from off the bed, and he falls into his brother's arms, not sure if he is trying to be comforted, or if he is trying to comfort him. But although they have grown out of hiding in their fort made out of blankets, they are still each other's stability, each other's safety. And when Hvitserk feels his brother's arms clinging onto him, his nails digging into his back, the anger inside of him fades away.

"I'm sorry," Ubbe whispers. "I couldn't make her stay. I tried, I really did, but she…"

"I know," Hvitserk whispers back, and he leans back, so he can see his brother's face, their arms still wrapped tightly around each other. "We are going to be okay, aren't we?"

"Yeah, we are." Ubbe nods, and he flashes the smallest, most heartbroken smile, before pressing his lips against Hvitserk's.

Hvitserk blinks, and he is back in the here and now, staring down at his brother. Ubbe had kissed him, all those years ago, and sure, they had both been upset, but there was more to it. There was something in that kiss, something that had been building up for years. Only months before that kiss, they had stolen a bottle of booze, and when the arguing had gotten too bad, they had hidden in their closet together. They had shared the bottle, and as Hvitserk had started feeling lighter and more giddy, the ugliness from the real world starting to fade away, he had blurted out the words he had been meaning to keep in.

Telling his brother just how he had felt about him, saying those big, meaningful, possibly world-shattering words out loud, they had sobered him up. Ubbe too. There had been a deadly silence, until Ubbe had said the words back to him. There, inside that tiny closet, with the outside world still raging on, they had finally put everything into words. There had been no more secrets, and Hvitserk had expected the world to somehow be different after that day. But nothing had changed, not even after that kiss. They had simply gone on as they were, and they had never mentioned it again.

Hvitserk touches Ubbe's chest with just the tip of his fingers, his fingers somehow feeling like fire and ice at the same time. But Ubbe is keeping his eyes closed, even as Hvitserk leans down and he kisses him on the lips.

It's just a short kiss, but when Hvitserk sits back up, he can see that Ubbe's neck and chest have turned a dark shade of red, and he knows that it has nothing to do with the sun burning down on them. He can tell that his brother is thinking about their first kiss, about this kiss, about everything that has just been said.

"What are you doing?" Ubbe whispers, but when he opens his eyes, there are nerves, perhaps a hint of excitement, but no anger, there is no shutting off.

"What I should have done years ago," Hvitserk says, before leaning down and kissing Ubbe again. Ubbe kisses him back, their kisses fierce, almost angry. There is a battle for power, for control, and before Hvitserk knows it, he is being thrown onto his back, and Ubbe is on top of him, pushing him down into the sand.

"Fuck," Ubbe groans, before grinding his hips down against Hvitserk's, and kissing him again, their tongues still fighting for control. Hvitserk is loving this battle, and it is lighting a fire inside of him. He can feel Ubbe's hands grabbing onto him, his grip leaving marks, his nails digging deep, a need that has been building up inside of him for years now finally coming out. Hvitserk is almost too taken aback by this hunger, by this aggression, the good kind, and for a moment, he just stares into those bright blue eyes of his brother. But when he sees the big grin on Ubbe's face, he kisses him again, before sliding his hands down his strong, muscular back. Just feeling his skin, those muscles he had been staring at all those years, feeling their hips grinding together, it is almost too much for Hvitserk to bear.

He slides his hands down, but when he slides them into his brother's shorts, grabbing onto his ass, something in the air changes. Ubbe stops kissing him, and he moves away from him. There is a confused look on his face, almost as though he is only now realising what he is doing, so Hvitserk tries to reach out to him, but before he can grab his hand, Ubbe jumps up, and he walks over to the water.

Hvitserk watches as Ubbe tries to steady his breath, as he leans down and wets his hands, as he brushes his wet hands through his hair, before turning around again. Hvitserk is expecting rejection, he is expecting Ubbe to freak out, to get angry with him, to blame him. But when Ubbe looks at him, the grin so big that it is almost taking over his entire face, Hvitserk can't help but laugh.

"Shit," Ubbe laughs.

"I've been wanting to do that for years."

"Me too," Ubbe admits, but Hvitserk just nods. "Is this why you brought me here?"

"No," Hvitserk laughs. "I just wanted to show this place to you."

Ubbe hesitates for a moment, but then he steps out of his shorts, and he throws them into the boat. Hvitserk has seen him naked almost every day of his life, so this sight isn't new to him, but there is something about the blush on Ubbe's face, about the fact that he seems nervous, maybe even a little insecure, that makes Hvitserk see him in a different light.

"Come here," he whispers, but when Ubbe doesn't move, he isn't sure whether he has heard him. But then Ubbe comes up to him, and he kneels down next to him. He starts to untie the lace on Hvitserk's shorts, but his hands are shaking.

"About what I told you…"

"Not here," Ubbe quickly says, his hands still fumbling with Hvitserk's shorts. "Not like this."

Hvitserk bucks up his hips, and Ubbe slides down his shorts, before throwing them to the side. He lies down next to Hvitserk, and he gently kisses his shoulder, his collarbone, his neck.

"I wish my first time had been with you," he whispers, his lips brushing against Hvitserk's ear. "It should have been. But I was scared, and stupid, and…"

"You were trying to protect me," Hvitserk whispers, as he wraps his arms around his brother, pulling him so close, that he can actually feel his heart beating.

"I tried telling you," Ubbe admits. "What I was feeling for you."

"Really?"

"I must have gotten out of bed at least thirty, forty times, and I went over to your bed… I was going to wake you up and tell you. But then I got scared, and I figured it would only upset you. I was probably scared you were going to laugh at me."

"I wouldn't have."

"I know." Ubbe smiles. "But it's not every day you have to tell your brother you…"

"Love him?" Hvitserk suggests, and Ubbe sighs. "It doesn't matter now, does it?"

"What do you mean?"

"We'll leave this place, and when we get home, you're moving in with Torvi. All of this… what happened today… it won't matter."

"Of course it matters," Ubbe says, his eyes growing brighter again. "Just because I'm moving in with Torvi, because I'm…"

"Moving on?"

"I will never move on from you, Hvitserk. You're my brother."

"But you will move on from this, you already have."

"Are you kidding me?" Ubbe asks, sounding more hurt than angry. "I have moved on from this? I would give up everything just to stay here with you."

"Then why don't you?" Hvitserk asks, but the second the words have left his mouth, he knows he isn't being fair on his brother. "I'm sorry."

"I haven't moved on," Ubbe whispers, the words too fragile to be spoken out loud. "I can't. I'm not sure I even want to."

"Me neither."

Ubbe gives a small nod, before pressing a kiss against his brother's lips.

"Does Torvi know?" Hvitserk asks, a small smile forming on Ubbe's lips.

"Does Thora know?" he teases. "Do you think I would be moving in with Torvi if she knew I was here with you?"

"She makes you happy, doesn't she?"

"Happy enough," Ubbe nods. "But she isn't you."

The words seem to linger in the air for the longest time, until Hvitserk rests his head down on his brother's chest, his heart now beating loudly into his ear.

"I'm going to miss you," he whispers, Ubbe's grip on him tightening. "I always thought it would be just me and you, you know?"

"Us against the world?" Ubbe asks. "It will always be like that. Nothing, or no one, is going to change that."

Hvitserk can feel his insides getting all tangled up, and everything is starting to feel wrong, because no matter what Ubbe is telling him, he knows that once they leave this place, everything is going to change. This moment, right here, right now, this is all they have. All they will ever have.

"Hvitserk?"

"Mhm?" Hvitserk mumbles, anxiety creeping up on him, and starting to take over. But when he feels Ubbe gently stroking his back, he looks up at him.

"Thank you for bringing me here."

"You wouldn't rather be out shopping with Torvi and Gunnhild?" Hvitserk teases, the smile on his brother's face growing bigger.

"No. Definitely not."

"We should be getting back though, or we'll miss dinner," Hvitserk says, and he begins to get up, but when Ubbe pulls him back down, he can't help but laugh. "What are you doing?"

"Let's stay here."