Six Moments of Bravery, One Moment of Doubt
Author's Note: Welcome to my latest one-shot! A fic that explores 7 moments between Ron and Hermione, 6 brave and 1 doubtful. Mostly canon-compliant. Missing moments through the years, if you will.
Starts at the end of fourth year and concludes after the final battle. Mostly from Ron's perspective. As usual, please leave comments/review! I thrive on hearing your thoughts!
I do not own anything from the Harry Potter universe, all characters belong to J.K. Rowling.
Thank you to my lovely betas! Thanks to a certain Romione Discord friend who provide the "McNAGgen" line I loved so much I had to use, with permission of course.
Hope you enjoy!
One. Bravery.
End of Fourth Year. Gryffindor Common Room.
"Oh, Ron, that pack of sugar quills you left in the library last week is in my trunk, I keep forgetting to give it to you!" Hermione called out to Ron as they were gathering their things to grab the Hogwarts express back to King's Cross station for the summer.
"Brilliant!" Ron said with a grin, "a snack for the train ride home." Hermione rolled her eyes in response but gestured for him to follow her to the corner of the common room where everyone's trunks were gathered to be transported onto the train. As Hermione looked for her trunk amongst all the others, Ron thought about the fact that Hermione had kept those sweets for him for… well, he didn't know how long. Had to be a few weeks at least.
"You know you didn't have to keep them for me… well not all of them anyway, you could have had a few yourself. I know you like them." He shrugged as she looked for her initials on the trunks and finally seemed to locate it amongst the others.
"I wouldn't do that without asking first! They're yours, Ron — that wouldn't be polite." She levitated her trunk from the pile with ease, letting it come to rest in front of them in a spacious area where she'd be able to open it and find the quills.
"Well, it's not impolite if I'm giving you permission." He pretended to unroll a parchment in the air, as if he were creating a contract for the two of them, "I, Ron Weasley, hereby grant one Hermione Granger permission to help herself to some of any and all future sugar quills belonging to the aforementioned party." He pretended he was signing the contract, with an exaggerated signing motion in the air and a flick of the wrist for a bit of flourish.
Hermione rolled her eyes but smiled. "Well, thank you, then." She said simply, popping the lid of her trunk open and rummaging through her things to find the package of sweets. Except that it wasn't really considered rummaging when it came to Hermione as her equivalent to rummaging was neatly moving things aside, looking underneath them and then neatly placing them back in their former spots.
"Any day now, Hermione. We'll miss the train at this rate!" He couldn't help himself when it came to teasing her. It was their thing —along with bantering. Okay, so maybe it was bickering. Sometimes fighting. This, however, was the nature of their relationship and had been that way since the beginning.
"So impatient! Ah, here they are." She said, carefully moving her periwinkle Yule Ball dress aside as the sugar quills were tucked neatly underneath it.
As soon as he saw a glimpse of her Yule Ball dress, he immediately thought back on that night not so long ago. Ron flushed when he thought back to that night and the things that had happened. He'd made a real mess of things. He was lucky Hermione hadn't hexed him, really. Stupid Viktor Sodding Krum. He still got heated when he thought about that ruddy pumpkin head.
"Thanks," he said softly as she handed the sweets to him. "Your Yule Ball dress was really pretty, by the way," he said before he even realized the words were slipping from his lips. He went pink and was lucky that the warmth in the room was a good excuse for it. "I... er, I don't think I ever told you that. So yeah. It was nice."
He wondered if he imagined the blush that rose to Hermione's cheeks as she closed her trunk and fiddled with the lock on it. She could be blushing but she could also just be flushed because she'd just been going through her trunk. It was blushing… right? He thought. Maybe? And he could have sworn he saw the hint of a smile cross over her features but it was gone as soon as it had appeared. Either way, he was glad the words had slipped out in a little moment of bravery because he had to admit, he liked the reaction he got.
"Oh, um… thank you." She responded in a voice that was softer than before and almost shy. Shyer than he'd ever heard it before, anyhow.
He cleared his throat. "'Course." He could feel a bit of awkward tension in the air so he decided to change the topic over to the easiest thing he could think of: the sweets in his hand. "So erm, sugar quill for the road then?" He offered her the open box, because yes, he'd already plucked one out with the intention of eating it. "They're fruit flavoured."
"No, I don't need…" She started to answer when he gave her a look that said 'live a little' which surprisingly seemed to change her mind and she nodded. "Well alright. Is there a-"
"A peach one?" He cut her off, "Yeah, there is." He took it from the box and held it out to her.
"How did you…?"
"You mentioned you liked peach flavoured things once." He shrugged and the smile that graced her lips was even sweeter than the quill he'd started sucking on.
"Thanks, Ron." She said simply, still smiling.
He gave her a lopsided grin. "Sure." He said with a shrug. He was going to have to be brave more often.
Two. Bravery.
Christmas, Fifth Year. Grimmauld Place.
When Hermione had shown up at Grimmauld Place during the break when she was meant to be on holiday with her parents, Ron had felt nothing short of sheer elation. He resisted the strong urge to kiss her and, instead, settled on a warm hug in which he distinctly felt Hermione snuggle into him a little bit. He thanked her for coming, knowing she'd given up time with her parents to be there and she'd almost waved it off as if there was no other choice for her in the matter when she heard what happened to his father. He noticed her holding onto his hello hug a few moments longer that she had in the past, and he wasn't the only one who noticed, for his brothers and Ginny exchanged knowing glances with little smiles. He flushed and pulled away, averting his eyes. He still wasn't all that used to the fact that he was developing more than friendly feelings for Hermione. It had been the Yule Ball the year prior that had kicked things into gear for him, and he finally started to clue in that maybe his feelings for her ran a bit deeper than just friendship.
Harry spent the majority of his time brooding, hiding, or off with Sirius while they were in the house so it meant that Ron and Hermione were spending the majority of their time together. They hadn't been fighting as much this year, he noted. Sure, they had their little arguments or bickering moments, but apparently the Ministry's interference at Hogwarts, the DA and that evil crone Umbridge took most of their focus and they just didn't have the time nor energy to bicker as much. He kind of liked it. It was nice being on good terms with Hermione most of the time. Though, he also had to admit he missed the arguing. Her face would go all pink and she'd get this fire in her eyes and sometimes her hair would escape its plait or the confines of its bauble. He'd have trouble keeping his eyes off her. But he'd never ever admit that to anyone.
"Ron, can you handle me that bauble? The one with the snowman." Hermione asked from her spot up on the step ladder by the tree. They had found a container of Christmas ornaments in one of the spare rooms and were adding them to the tree that was in the sitting room having been decorated by Mrs. Weasley. Ron's Mum had brought over a bunch of their Christmas decorations from The Burrow to do so but when they found some in the spare room, they decided to add them on.
"Which one… this one?" He asked, holding up the only snowman he could see in the box. He looked at her, saw her nod and stood, stretching a bit when he did—he'd been crouched down for a while—and took it over to her by the tree.
"Thanks," she said as he handed it to her.
"The tree's looking a little full, Hermione, are you sure there's space for that one?" He took a step back and looked at the tree in its entirety. He didn't see where it would fit.
"Yes, there's a bare spot, just up there to the left." She tried pointing, he followed her finger with his eyes but didn't see what she was talking about. He watched as she shifted on the step ladder, which was significantly tall, and started reaching with her left hand to place the bauble on the tree. "Oi, Hermione, be careful!" He called up to her.
"I'm fine!" She replied with a huff, stretching her arm out even more. He followed her arm and finally spotted the bare bit of tree she was reaching for and, by the time he looked back at her, she was teetering off the edge of the step ladder and was letting out a yelp of panic and surprise.
He'd never moved so fast in his life. One moment he was standing in the middle of the room watching her on the step ladder and then he was next to her on the other side of the room, catching her as she almost fell off. His arms went around her middle, as the step ladder put them at a height where her waist was near his shoulders, and he sort of righted her body so she was back on the step fully and stable. Her hands flew to his shoulders, gripping them as she got her footing back. "Merlin's pants, Hermione! You alright?"
"I-I, yes, thank you, Ron." She said softly, not letting go of his shoulders.
"Right, well, why don't you come down now before we have a repeat of the situation, yeah?" He took one hand off her waist— which he noticed was emitting warmth under the material of her jumper— and held it out for her to use as leverage to climb down.
She flushed and took his hand, coming down the step ladder until she was on the ground, planting her feet firmly. "Thanks for saving me there," she thanked him, her voice soft and her cheeks pink. He couldn't stop looking at her and when he realized that, he went a bit pink himself.
"Yeah, well, you just need to be more careful, Hermione. I mean, we wouldn't want another injury around here this Christmas. One St. Mungo's patient is enough." He gave her his famous lop-sided grin, and the smile she returned to him was nothing short of brilliant and beaming.
She opened her mouth as if to speak but instead closed it, launching forward, and burying her face in his neck for a minute. The surprise he felt delayed his reaction a moment but then he was hugging her back, his arms around her, one in her hair. In a moment of bravery, he pressed a soft, almost unnoticeable, kiss to the top of her head. Ron heard her sigh as she snuggled further into his chest and his heart started beating like mad, so much that he was sure she'd hear it, pressed against him like that. They stood there for a full minute just hugging and holding each other.
He felt his face heating up when they pulled away. "Er, so yeah, maybe no more step ladders, I reckon. We can get Mum to charm that snowman onto the tree. Probably safest." He rubbed the back of his neck, and looked at his feet.
"Yes, good idea." She responded, and they locked eyes. She gave him a small smile which he returned, and then the silence was broken by a sleepy Harry entering the room, running his hand through his hair.
"Sorry, fell asleep. What'd I miss?" Harry asked, his voice sleepy. He looked confused when Ron and Hermione looked at each other and just grinned.
"Nothing mate… nothing."
Three. Bravery.
Summer before sixth year, the Burrow.
"Ginny, where's Hermione?" Ron asked his sister, coming down the stairs from his morning shower and wondering where his best friend had gotten to. She'd arrived a few days ago and Harry wasn't due to arrive for a few more days, or so Ron's parents said. He and Hermione had been spending a lot of time together and, without jinxing it, had been getting along really well. No arguments. Yet.
"Dunno! She said something about going outside to read." Ginny shrugged, and pointed to the grounds of the Burrow.
"Gee, thanks, Gin, that narrows it down." He rolled his eyes at her and Ginny responded with a face of her own. He grabbed a couple apples from the basket on the kitchen table, thinking he might bring one to Hermione as she always lost track of time and forgot to eat when she was reading. He made sure he had his wand, and ventured out into the warm sunshine.
He had a hunch where he would find her, so he headed in that direction, stuffing the two apples in his pockets. Ron closed his eyes for a moment and tilted his face up to the sun, enjoying the feel of it as he walked and nearly collided with a tree due to his lack of attention.
Bloody hell. He muttered to himself, kicking the tree in retaliation and laughing at himself a little bit afterwards. Finally, he spotted his destination in the distance. The old treehouse. He was almost positive Hermione was in there.
When he reached the tree, he stopped at the bottom and looked up, cupping his hand around his mouth. "Warning, wizard approaching! Permission to come up?" He waited, looking up the ladder and grinned when he heard a chuckle from above.
"Permission granted!" Came the answer from above him. His grin widened as he climbed the ladder carefully, and popped his head inside the tree house. He looked around, and his gaze finally landed on the bushy-haired witch in the corner.
"Greetings!" He exclaimed with a smirk. "How did I know I'd find you up here with a book?"
She rolled her eyes and smiled, "I suppose it's because I'm utterly predictable." She commented good naturedly, closing her book and setting it on the treehouse floor beside her.
He climbed fully inside, and settled against the wall across from her, stretching his legs out so they were next to hers, his feet practically reached her thighs. Well, of course they did as he was quite tall and the treehouse was tiny.
"I brought you a snack since I know you tend to forget to eat when you're studying or reading." He pulled the apple from his pocket and tossed it to her, giving her a lop-sided smile when she caught it in the air. "Good catch."
He saw Hermione flush as she caught the apple, and she looked at it for a moment before smiling, almost as if she was smiling to herself, and then she met his eyes and nodded. "Normally I'd deny it but you're right. I do sometimes get so wrapped up in things that I don't realize how hungry I am."
She took a bite of the apple and he had trouble not watching the way her lips wrapped around the fruit. She made a sound of appreciation at the taste, and he had to look away so as not to have a very visible and physical reaction. He distracted himself by taking the other apple out and biting into it himself. He could swear he saw her eyes on him while he bit the apple as well but, by the time he looked up, she wasn't watching anymore.
"So, what're you reading this time?" Ron asked, through his mouthful of apple, reaching for her book. She pulled it just out of his reach.
"Lovely, Ronald." She remarked in reference to his full mouth, shaking her head. "Nothing you'd find interesting. A muggle novel."
"Yeah?" He questioned, taking another bite of his apple. "What's it about?" He wasn't that interested, really, but mostly he liked the way Hermione's face lit up when she talked about her books.
"It's called Pride and Prejudice. It's about a courtship that starts out rocky in the beginning and then ends up all well in the end."
For some reason, that storyline reminded him of something, someone. Nah, couldn't be. "Sounds… girly." He was going to say boring but he knew she didn't like when he made fun of her books and he wanted to stay in this happy bubble they had going at the moment.
She laughed at that. "I suppose it is."
He had a surge of bravery for a moment. "Sounds a bit like us, yeah?" He peered over at her, and held in a breath waiting for her reaction. She seemed to freeze, going a bit pink. "I mean, we definitely started out rocky, didn't we? But it all worked out in the end, didn't it?" Or, at least I hope it does.
She seemed to be considering what to say and opened her mouth once or twice, before closing it again. Then, after what seemed like forever, she opened it again and the words finally left her lips. "I guess there are similarities, yes," she smiled tentatively, looking at her hands, "but we seem to be in the middle of our story as I suspect there's a lot more to come."
It was his turn to go a bit pink, and suddenly he felt it was quite warm in that little treehouse. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows and tried to focus on the fact she had very subtly implied there was more to come for them… between them. Again, it seemed, his moment of bravery paid off. He was definitely looking forward to whatever the rest of their story brought.
Four. Bravery.
Sixth Year, Before Christmas.
When Hermione had come down the stairs dressed for Slughorn's party that night, Ron had to force himself to look away. She was wearing a very pretty dress and she looked, well, he didn't really have the words to describe it, but it didn't matter because he shouldn't be looking at her at all, he reckoned. Especially since she'd worn that dress to go to a party with bloody McLaggen. A party she was supposed to be going to with him. But then he'd gone off and ruined things between them. He still didn't know what kind of invite she had extended to him when it came to that party as it hadn't been very clear. He didn't know if it had been as friends or as something more… or worse, as a pity invite because he wasn't in the sodding slug club. Bugger it all. He'd made his bed, now he had to lie in it. Didn't mean he had to like it, though.
So when she came down the stairs dressed the way she did, he turned his head—but not before seeing that slimy git lift Hermione's hand to to kiss it—and pretended to be enthralled by the book he was trying to read. The word trying was used because Lavender was sitting next to him, looking over his shoulder and attempting to distract him.
"Let's go somewhere, Won-Won!" Lavender cooed in his ear. He glanced up from the book and noticed that Hermione and McLaggen were gone.
"Go somewhere to do what, Lav?" He asked, half-heartedly. He already knew the answer. Snog. It was all they did. Day and night. Snogging. Sure, in the beginning it had been exciting and it made him feel like for once he wasn't being overlooked. A girl liked him, noticed him for once and it felt good. And the snogging was fun, too. But when all you did was snog someone day in and day out, it got to be a little tiresome. He literally had to nick some chapstick from Dean to get himself through the day.
"To be alone, silly." She said, in what he assumed was supposed to be a desirable manner.
"Yeah, alright, let me read this page first." Anything to take his mind off a certain bushy-haired witch and her date.
They were "alone" for a good hour before Ron's poor lips needed a break. With a promise of securing them some snacks and drinks from the kitchens, Ron was able to escape for a while and took his time making his way around the castle. Lavender would be waiting in the common room, and he just needed a little time on his own before launching into yet another snog session.
He sighed, passing the Potion's classroom and Slughorn's quarters where he could hear the muffled sounds of the party going on behind closed doors. What he didn't expect to hear was two hushed voices in the darkness of the hallway outside the party.
"Cormac, I said no!" Hang on, that's Hermione's voice!
"Oh, come on, Granger, you asked me to this party for a reason!" Bloody McLaggen, slick git.
"I told you I wasn't interested in kissing you under the mistletoe at the party so what makes you think I'm suddenly interested now?" You tell him, Hermione.
"No girl wants the entire room watching her snog! I thought you might like a bit of privacy…" His voice got lower at the end and Ron could tell he was leaning in towards Hermione. He saw red, and completely lost his mind.
With a surge of bravery, he rounded the corner and rushed at McLaggen, using his whole body to push him away from Hermione. "She said no, McLaggen!" Came his voice, deep, rough, angry in the darkness.
"Ronald!" Hermione's voice came in surprise. He didn't know if she was surprised it was him or surprised he was defending her. She had to know that, whatever went on between them, he'd always protect her, right?
McLaggen stumbled backwards and caught himself on the opposite wall, glaring at Ron. "What's your problem, Weasley?"
"My problem? She said no, you bloody wanker! That's not a signal to keep trying!" He pulled out his wand and pointed it at McLaggen.
McLaggen stumbled back a bit, raising his hands in front of him. "Merlin, Weasley, put that bloody thing away! I didn't do anything to your precious Granger!" Ron wanted to punch the living daylights out of this buggering wanker.
"You better not have! You stay away from her, you hear me? Or you'll meet the wrong end of my wand and my fucking fists!" It didn't matter at that moment that McLaggen was bigger than he was in build. He was experiencing a surge in adrenaline, and for once in his life he wasn't going to let himself be bested by someone who thought they were better than him. Especially when Hermione was involved.
"Granger…" McLaggen turned to her, starting to approach and suddenly her wand was out and pointed at him as well.
"Go, Cormac." She said simply, her voice firm and in that tone she used that Ron found was quite scary.
"Merlin, fine! No bird is worth all this." McLaggen muttered under his breath, turning and finally retreating, leaving Ron and Hermione alone in the dark hallway.
"So, er, you alright then?" He asked her, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at the ground, his wand safely back in his pocket.
"Yes, I'm fine." She expressed softly, not looking at him. "But I can take care of myself, Ronald and I don't need you jumping in like I'm some kind of damsel in distress!" She stomped her foot a bit and he merely raised an eyebrow at her. "Why did you bother, anyway? Shouldn't you be attached at the lips of a certain Lav-Lav?" She crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes at him. And honestly, he couldn't say he cared at all. She was talking to him. Even if it was insulting him or getting angry with him. She was talking to him.
"You're still my best friend, Hermione, even if I'm not yours at the moment." He said with a shrug, looking at her. He could swear she flushed but he couldn't be sure in the darkness. Her face softened for a moment and then she resumed her expression of anger at him.
"I'm still not talking to you." She said simply.
"Yeah, I figured."
"I'm still mad at you."
"Yeah, I bloody know that, too."
She started to walk away and was twenty steps away from him when she stopped in her tracks and turned to face him.
"Ron?" He looked up. "Thank you." She said shyly before disappearing around the corner.
Well, okay then. He smiled.
Five. Bravery.
Ron's Birthday, Sixth Year.
What a bloody, buggering awful birthday. Poisoned. Almost died. When they told him after he'd woken up, he almost didn't believe them. Him, poisoned? But then he had vague flashes of asking about Romilda Vane, and then drinking a potion and he knew it had to be true. But seriously, spending his 17th birthday in the hospital wing? Just his bloody luck.
Everyone had been by to see him, including those he didn't really feel up to seeing at the moment. He knew he was a bloody coward, pretending to be asleep every time Lavender turned up to visit but he just didn't have the energy to deal with all of that right now. He wished he had the courage to chuck her but he wasn't that brave, it seemed. Yeah, he had his moments of bravery, but he doubted that any of them would be used to chuck Lavender.
There was one person who hadn't come to see him yet and she was far more important than the others in his mind. Maybe she was still mad at him. But he almost died, so that had to count for something, right? He could still remember dreaming of her, calling for her in his dream because even his subconscious wanted to see her. Especially after their little moment before Christmas involving bloody McNAGgen. Sodding tosser. Ron had been distracting himself with some of his birthday gifts—fiddling with the watch Mum and Dad had gifted him and reading the helpful book the twins had left for him— when the door to the hospital wing opened. He heard footsteps, and they sounded quite light, so he immediately shut his eyes and laid back on the pillows, pretending to be asleep again in case it was Lavender. He peeked an eye open to check, and saw it wasn't Lavender at all. It was Hermione.
"Hermione!" He called, sitting up and bursting in a grin. She'd come to see him.
"Oh, Ron, hello. I assumed you were sleeping." She went a bit pink but proceeded to approach his bedside anyways.
"Yeah, er, sorry… thought you might be Lavender." He shrugged sheepishly.
"Oh, Ron, you haven't been pretending to be asleep every single time she's come, have you? She's been wondering why you're never awake." She stood at the end of his bed, and placed her hands on the bed posts.
He flushed. "Er, yeah, I have. I just don't have the energy for that whole thing right now." He paused and smiled at her. "But I'm glad to see you! Surprised, but glad. Decided that me almost dying was enough of a reason to start talking to me again, have you?" He couldn't help the teasing. Sometimes he really couldn't control it when it came to Hermione. It always slipped out before he had a chance to filter it or edit.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed suddenly, moving to the side of the bed and sitting on the edge near his ankles. "I was so worried and when Harry told me you almost died, I knew it was all so silly, so stupid. If you'd… and we'd been in a fight, I don't know what I would have…" She looked down at her hands, eyes filling with tears which he was sure she was trying to hide from him. But he saw them.
"Hey, Hermione, I'm fine!" He reached forward with a bit of that bravery he mentioned and took her hand, "I'm good, see? Gonna take more than some poisoned mead to do me in." He shot her his trademark lopsided grin and let out a breath of relief when she didn't pull her hand away, instead cracking a smile.
"Don't joke, Ron, it was… it was horrible."
"Yeah, bloody hell, I know. Trust me." He didn't let go of her hand, squeezing it gently. "Look, about that…" He averted his eyes to his lap this time, not able to meet her eyes. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I was a bloody git and I… I'm really sorry. I hate how everything went down. I should have just… I shouldn't have…" He couldn't find the right words to express what he wanted to say without blurting out every single detail of his feelings out to her right there in the hospital wing.
Hermione flushed but scooted a bit closer to him on the bed so she was near his hips now and kept hold of his hand. "I know… I'm sorry too. It's awful that it took you almost dying for us to get past this."
"We're okay now, yeah? F-friends again?" He stuttered a bit on the word because he knew deep down he didn't want to be just friends with her anymore. But it wasn't like anything could really happen when he still had a girlfriend.
"We always were, Ron," she replied softly, a small smile gracing her lips, "always will be. Even when you're a complete arse." He chuckled at that. "Which I assume will be often." She added, and his mouth opened a bit in surprise.
"Oi! Rude!" He said, but his features quickly morphed back into that lopsided smile. He could see her cheeks pinken, but judging by the grin on her face, he guessed it was the good kind of flushed. "So, erm, thanks for coming to see me… I figured you weren't going to, you know, with everything…"
"This isn't the first time I've come, Ron." She said softly.
"What, really?"
She nodded. "Yes, really, you were just actually asleep the other times. You know, unless you were pretending when I came as well."
"No, I promise! You came before?"
"Well, of course I did! What did you think, I was so mad at you I wouldn't come to see you after you'd been poisoned? Don't be daft, Ronald, of course that's not the case." Even while she was scolding him, she was cute. He caught himself staring at her, and then at their still joined hands, feeling the blood rise to his own cheeks for a moment.
"Well, will you come back then? Tomorrow? Or later tonight, you know, whenever."
"Yes, of course I will. Harry and Ginny were going to come down after dinner, I can come with them…" He shook his head at that and she looked confused.
And so, with another burst of bravery, he elaborated, "I mean, sure, come with Harry and Ginny but uh, I was asking if you'd come back and see me… alone. Just you." He squeezed her hand for good measure. "I mean only if you want to, yeah?"
"Yeah, I think I can do that." She replied softly, sort of smiling at her hands. She looked up, and he met her with a brilliant grin.
"Brilliant!" When he realized just how enthusiastic his response had been, he blushed. "Er, I mean, great, that's good. Thanks, 'Mione." He knew she'd made it clear she didn't enjoy nicknames on the whole, but that one just slipped out.
"Well, I need to go do rounds. Shall I come tomorrow morning after breakfast, or would you rather lunchtime?" He was surprised she seemed to be letting the nickname slide. Maybe she liked it.
"Either one! Or both, I reckon. And maybe you could bring me something from the Great Hall?" He looked at her with a hopeful expression, and he could see her holding in a laugh. "I miss the normal food. I've been getting 'hospital food'." He made a face.
"That could be arranged." His entire face lit up.
She started to get up, beginning to pull her hand from his, but he held on and with another bit of bravery brewing in him, tugged on it further so she was close enough to him. He sat up as straight as he could and stretched up, pulling her down into a hug. It wasn't all he wanted right now, but he wasn't a bloody cheater, and he reckoned attempting anything more than a hug might be pushing the boundries. So, he wrapped his arms around her tightly for a few moments, holding on before loosening his grip and letting her stand back upright.
"Thanks for coming to see me." He said shyly after they'd pulled apart. She was flustered but smiling, and he took that as a good sign. Their hands were still joined, so, in a playful manner, he lifted her hand to his lips and settled with a kiss to the top of her hand. "Milady. I look forward to your return." He said cheesily. He grinned, and saw her return the smile with one just as large.
"Good sir." She replied with a smirk and a shake of her head, as if she was saying this little bit they were doing was odd. Then, with a quick nod she was gone. Ron watched her go and thanked Merlin, quite ironically, that he'd been poisoned.
Six. Doubt.
Horcrux hunt. Forest.
There they go again, without you. They don't need you. They don't want you here. Why are you still here? You don't contribute, you're nothing compared to him. Why would she want you at all?
A part of him knew these thoughts weren't completely true, but Ron also knew that that part was getting smaller and smaller with each day. It was true. He wasn't important, they didn't need him, he was nothing and he was not good enough for her. What on earth had ever made him think he was? That he could possibly have her, deserve her?
As Ron watched Harry and Hermione bonding over something that he couldn't hear or see, and likely that's how they wanted it, he tried harder and harder to find reasons to stay. But all he could think of was why did he even bother trying to think of reasons to stay? Clearly, he wasn't needed, wanted nor valuable. He had known this all his life. It started when Ginny was born, and his parents finally got the girl they'd wanted their whole life and now, not only was he the least loved in his family, he was the least loved with his friends.
Why would she choose you over him? He's the chosen one. He's famous, he's rich, he's smart… what would she want with you? He's special, she's special and she deserves special and you're not. You're nothing, Ronald. You're nothing compared to him.
He couldn't stop the flood of thoughts. He couldn't control them, and he could not stop himself from believing them. He'd known it his whole life but for a while, he'd been convinced it wasn't true and now he was just accepting the truth, accepting his reality.
He was so far into his doubt, that he didn't see the tears streaming down Hermione's face as he and Harry yelled and screamed at each other. He was so deep into his doubt that he didn't see the hurt on Harry's face. He was so far into his doubt that he didn't notice the change that taking the locket off had on him. He was so deep into his doubt that he didn't hear Hermione calling him, begging him to come back once he'd left. And by the time he realized any of this, he was too far gone to go back.
He'd been so affected by the locket, he didn't notice until after he'd left that it had been the locket causing those thoughts, those feelings, reinforcing those doubts and strengthening them to the point of no return. And looking back on those thoughts and feelings, he knew they weren't as true as he thought they were. It had just been using thoughts he'd felt in the past, in his subconscious, feelings from his past to poison him, poison his mind.
When he finally realized it all, he tried to go back, he tried to find them again and yet he knew it was no use at that moment because Hermione was brilliant, and she would make it so they couldn't be found again for their safety. And then it all hit him and he cried. He cried until he had no tears left in him. Doubt was a powerful emotion, and the locket had exploited every single doubt he'd ever had.
Now, there was only one doubt left, one prominent and all-consuming doubt — whether or not he would get back to his friends.
Seven. Bravery.
Post Final Battle, Hogwarts.
When everything had winded down, when the battling had finished, and the lost were mourned, Ron and Hermione had found each other in the midst of it all. Ron could not remember a time when he felt such relief as to when Hermione found him in the crowd and pulled him into a hug. They'd retreated to the Gryffindor common room, untouched in the battle, and she'd held him as he cried, cried for Remus and Tonks, cried for everything they'd been through, and he cried for Fred. She had been his light in the darkness, his guiding force to get him through these trying and unbelievably difficult times. When he'd finished crying, they went up to the dorms, to his old room, and crawled into bed to sleep for what seemed like days.
His sleep was a dreamless one but when he woke up with Hermione in his arms, he thought maybe he was dreaming after all. Then, all at once, everything came back to him in a flash. Hermione running at him, the Basilisk fangs clattering to the floor, her lips on his, the way he lifted her off her feet, the kiss that would forever replay in his memories. And then the remainder of the day came swimming back as well. The loss, Hermione finding him in the crowd, holding him as he cried and making their way up to bed in exhaustion.
When he opened his eyes fully, he took in his surroundings. The curtain to Harry's bed next to his was closed and he assumed Harry had crawled into it and fallen asleep soon after he and Hermione had done so. He reached for his wand and cast a quick silencing charm. Harry deserved the rest and he didn't want to wake him up. When he rested his wand back on the night side table, Hermione stirred against him and he froze, not wanting to wake her just yet. He settled back into his position, his arms around her, Hermione's head on his chest, her arm slung over his abdomen. He pressed a kiss to her hair and closed his eyes, hardly believing all this was real. The girl he'd been in love with since he was about fourteen had kissed him, held him while he cried, slept next to him. It was kind of surreal.
"Mmmm, Ron?" Came a small, tired voice from somewhere on his chest.
"Yeah?" He answered softly into her hair.
"What time is it?" She mumbled into his shirt, and he lifted his hand to glance at his watch, surprised it was still functioning after everything.
"Er, 9:30. Reckon we deserved a bit of a lie in, yeah?"
"Mmm," she mumbled, reaching up to rub her eyes and then looking up at him and smiling. "I didn't have any nightmares." She said softly and he smiled at her, pushing a stray curl from her face.
"I noticed." He replied with a nod.
"I think that's thanks to you." She commented, a little awe in her voice.
"Yeah?" He grinned, feeling nothing short of pride that he could provide her with some reprieve from her nightmares simply by sleeping next to her. "Well, happy to help then."
She chuckled softly against him, and he felt her hand clutch at the material of his shirt. Then, she released the shirt and started tracing patterns on his chest and he could hear her sigh… in relief or happiness, he didn't know.
"Hey, Hermione," he called softly, his voice only above a whisper. He sucked in a breath and felt one of those all too familiar bursts of bravery he had when it came to her, "You uh… you kissed me yesterday, y'know." It sounded so stupid when he said it like that.
She giggled a bit. "Yes, I did, Ron."
"So uh, I was wondering… I reckon that means you, er, feel about me the way I feel about you?" He reached up and scratched his head with the hand that wasn't around her still, a nervous habit.
"Yes, Ron, I do. Very much so." She tilted her neck to look at him. He looked at her, meeting her eyes, gazing at her in silence for a few moments.
Another burst of bravery, "Hermione…" He paused, "I love you, 'Mione. You know that right?" It was the first time he'd really ever said it out loud to anyone. He knew Harry knew how he felt, but he'd never explicitly told anyone that he loved Hermione, that he was in love with her.
He watched as her face broke out in the biggest smile he'd ever seen and her eyes filled with tears. Happy ones, he hoped.
"I love you too, Ron, so much." She responded, her voice soft, full of love, hope and happiness.
He leaned down and pulled her in close, nuzzling her nose with his, unable to stop the smile from taking over his face. "Yeah?" He asked, pressing little kisses to her cheek and continuing to nuzzle his nose against her.
Her eyes closed and she leaned into him. "Yes, for so long. Only you."
Those words lit a fire in him, and he didn't think twice before launching forward and kissing her nice and proper. She made a sound of surprise but her hands clutched at him and her eyes closed and he held onto her for dear life. Nothing, absolutely nothing in this world would compare to kissing Hermione, nothing would compare to feeling her soft lips moving with his. That was, until she opened her mouth to him and deepened the kiss. Okay, nothing was better than this. He could snog Hermione all day every day and never get tired of it.
He could feel the arousal building up inside him, he was laying in bed, tangled up in Hermione and snogging her like there was no tomorrow, after all. He didn't want to ruin things by taking it too far or going overboard so he forced himself to pull back and take a breath.
"Buggering fuck, Hermione, you're going to kill me. Never mind the bloody war. It's death by Hermione for me." He took in her flushed features, her swollen lips, her wild hair, and watched as she turned even more pink with delight, holding in her laughter.
"Language, Ronald." She murmured softly, though he could tell she didn't mean it. He grinned in response and tightened his hold on her.
"As much as I'd love to lay here all day snogging the living daylights out of you… I reckon we could both really use a shower and some food, yeah? What do you think?"
She nodded. "A shower sounds lovely, actually." She sat up and he frowned when she was no longer in his arms. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips and immediately the frown disappeared. He sat up and stretched a bit, finally catching a whiff of the lovely stench he was emitting.
"Fucking hell, Hermione, why didn't you tell me I bloody stink? How did you manage to snog me when I smelled this rank?" He made a face.
Hermione scrunched her nose up a bit. "I figured it was worth it."
He grinned and climbed off the bed, moving towards her and slipping his arms around her waist. "Was for me, anyhow." He said, kissing her again and then releasing her, taking a few steps back. "Now go, shower, before I take you prisoner with my stench." He started moving towards her, his hands up as if on the attack.
She laughed and started backing away, heading towards the loo. When she disappeared around the corner, he stopped and considered everything that had happened recently.
"Well, aren't you coming?" Came Hermione's voice, breaking into his thoughts. He couldn't stop the smirk that took over his face.
"Bloody right, I am!" He called, taking off after her.
Well, damn. Bravery had paid off.