Dear Rydia,

I almost wrote "Dearest Rydia," but you would probably just torch this letter if you read that. It's been about a week since we watched the Lunar Whale sink back into the ocean, since we all parted ways. Would have been nice to have a drink or something, a party, a celebration, but I guess everyone was tired and Mysidia didn't have any bars.

What do you think they do for fun there? Do you think they know what fun is? If we'd parked the Lunar Whale in the sea by Eblan, I could have really shown you guys a good time. Ninjas know how to party, even in a burnt castle with a basement full of monsters. (They're almost gone, by the way, and yes, I've been dispatching all of them myself. Impressed yet?)

Anyway, it's been a week and I haven't stopped thinking about you. Seneschal's pissed, but what else is new? That's probably why I'm spending so much time in the basement, just to avoid him. I know, I know, I have "actual work" to be doing. I can practically see the look you're giving this letter as you read this. But I think you'll understand better than anyone the hesitation I feel to actually sit on the same throne my father was sitting on just a month ago. I'll get there eventually, but in the meantime there's a lot of Eblan to clean up. It's keeping me busy. At least physically.

My mind keeps going back to the time we spent together. I don't know how we got off on the wrong foot. You were crying, I graciously agreed to join your party instead of continuing on my suicide mission, AND I said you were pretty-BECAUSE YOU ARE-and instead of throwing yourself into my arms you just wrinkled your nose, disgusted. Wasn't I giving you what you wanted? You said stop trying to kill myself, I stopped, and then you're like, "Why are you joining our party." This is what we on the surface world call "mixed messages."

Joke's on you, you're pretty even when you're disgusted. Especially when you're disgusted. Maybe it's because I know I'm the only one who gets that reaction out of you. Very hard to shock a girl raised with monsters in the underground. What can I say? I'm gifted.

Okay, seriously though, you're definitely going to burn this, aren't you. You probably won't even make it this far. But that's okay, I said what I felt like saying. Mark my words, next time you hear from me I'll be bragging about how great Eblan castle's looking. Not as good as you look, no matter how much green tapestry I drape everywhere.

Yours,

In every way you can imagine,

Edge

Dear Edge,

"Dear" sounds very strange in front of your name, but I don't think there's much leeway in letter writing. Anything else calls attention to itself, like a certain ninja I know. This is the least likely to get any kind of rise out of you.

I've only just now had time to sit down and write. And I'm not just writing you, I'm writing everyone, so don't get that dumb look on your face. I wrote to Rosa, I wrote to Cecil, I wrote to Edward, I wrote to Yang, I even wrote to Kain, and no one knows where he is. You are literally the last person on my list, and do not-DO NOT-go reading into that.

But I keep thinking back to Mysidia, when we were all about to leave, and you asked if I wanted to get a drink. And I think the response I gave you was maybe-MAYBE-a little harsh. I pointed out there were no bars there, and you had that flask with you and said we just needed glasses, and it was, I suppose, rude of me to insinuate you might have spiked whatever was in there.

I wouldn't dwell on this except that you looked particularly stricken that I would even suggest something like that, and then Rosa came and said it was time to go, and since they were my ride back to Mist, we kind of left it at that.

See, I thought we were just… doing that joking thing that we'd fallen so comfortably into. But in the weeks since then, I've been thinking about our time together, and I remember telling you, after Zeromus was finally defeated, that I was surprised he hadn't used you instead of Golbez.

And maybe that, coupled with the accusation that you'd slip me some weird Eblan drug to take advantage of me, was something you actually took at face value. I admit that on the moon, at least the second trip, things were tense between us, but can you really blame me? After what you said to get me off the Lunar Whale? Talk about mixed messages! Did you want me around or not? I'd gotten so comfortable around you, had actually gotten used to your incessant flattery.

Don't read too much into that. "Comfortable" doesn't mean anything more than that.

I liked that you didn't treat me like some fragile kid, that you didn't ever look at me with pity, even after I told you about my past. It was hard for the others, who knew me as a child. But you treated me like a colleague. Despite your constant, CONSTANT pick-up lines, I could always tell you respected me.

And then what did you do? Called me a child. In front of everyone. Told me to get off the ship. Even after I knew that you just didn't want me to get hurt, I had a hard time reconciling that. You said you were done with suicide missions when we found you in the Eblan caves. It just-

A lot of what I thought I knew about you…

I didn't really know you at all. Did I?

Sincerely,

(Do not read into this, this is the standard sign-off for letters)

Rydia

Dear Rydia,

I am a man of my word. The castle is spotless, the basement is cleared, everyone's moved back in, and the Seneschal is way too happy. I'm also finally sitting on my father's throne, although I've asked the Seneschal if maybe we can trade it in for a fancy pillow or something.

I'm not really a "throne" kinda guy. I don't get the feeling my parents were either. I think they would approve of this change. A king who doesn't sit above his people, but sits level with them? Yeah, I think that's the kind of king I can be. I know you would disagree, but I actually do not like putting myself on a pedestal.

Like, okay, yes, I am preternaturally gifted at many things: throwing knives, winning hearts, ninjitsu, piloting airships, interior decorating (you really, REALLY should see this place), stealing, improvising, sneaking, and-you'll disagree with this too, I'm sure, but it's true-teaching.

See, Seneschal wants me to have my own ninja guard, which I think is absurd, because who can guard me better than me? But alright, whatever, if it gets me out of a few boring diplomacy meetings, yeah, I'll take a few hours every week to train an elite guard. I got three picked out already, and of course the first thing they learned is that if a gorgeous, green-haired lady shows up and asks for me, they're to take her to my chambers immediately.

Also, "chambers" sounds pretty archaic. It's not a dungeon or anything. As I've said, I am a master of interior design. My parents would not even recognize this place. I gotta say, I love 'em and miss 'em every day, but this place was dreary when they were in charge. Who knew all it takes to brighten up a room as a vase of fresh flowers? But of course, the vase needs to have panache. I'm currently overseeing the induction of Eblan's first official Fine Artists League. (I know, the name sounds dumb. I'll think of something better eventually.) I want a potter, a sculptor, a painter, a florist, and a weaver.

What can I say? I have an eye for beauty.

I still haven't stopped thinking about you. I know, the moon was tense. Not the first time. The first time, I think I was doing everything right. You'd actually smile at me sometimes, it wouldn't always be that knee-jerk reaction scowl, those narrowed blue eyes, or that raised hand ready to slap my shoulder. (That never really hurt, by the way, I just always winced for your benefit.)

But the second trip… yeah. I messed up. I mean, look, I didn't want you to leave the ship. But when Cecil said it to Rosa… we all knew where he was coming from. Of course I thought it was a dumbass decision, but he was absolutely doing it out of love. And I'm pretty sure he only lumped you in at first because he knew he needed someone to watch over Rosa while she stayed behind. I swear, it was NOT a mark against your skills. You're downright terrifying. I'd rather go up against Zeromus again than have to face you after that look you gave me.

And then you came back, after you and Rosa stowed away, and I was ecstatic. I didn't even realize how much I was going to miss you until you'd walked off after Rosa. I was so glad you hadn't listened to me. And then Rosa was there declaring how much she loved Cecil, how she was never going to leave his side...

This is going to sound stupid, but for a moment, I thought you were going to say the same thing to me. I thought maybe you'd seen right through what I'd said to you, that you could tell it wasn't… me talking. But then you were giving me the cold shoulder, and I knew that what I said had hit you hard. And worse than that, you really believed that's what I thought of you. After all we'd been through together. After that night in the Sealed Cave.

Let me make this abundantly clear.

I do not think you're weak, and I do not think you can't handle danger. In fact, I think you handle it better than I do. I was an ass, and not just because what I said wasn't true, but because what I said… hurt you.

I'm not mad about what you said to me in Mysidia. I was hurt, but I think I deserved it. And I hope that you were doing the same thing that I was, saying something you didn't really mean.

What I'm trying to say is, that drink offer still stands. Maybe you'll take me up on it in Baron for Cecil and Rosa's wedding next month. I know for a fact Baron has bars, and you and I are probably going to be in town for at least a week, so… give me the opportunity to apologize in person.

Yours,

Of Course,

Edge

Dear Edge,

Is it weird that the first thing I thought of when I got Cecil and Rosa's wedding invitation was that I'd probably see you there? It's not like Mist is easy to get to from Eblan, or vice versa. Don't get me wrong, I've been wanting to drop by, if only to see how the rebuilding effort is going. Mist is doing quite well, but we're just one small town. Eblan, I'm sure, has taken a lot of your time and energy.

We have these flowers that grow in Mist that I realized are the same color as that purple sash you wear. They remind me of you, not just because of the color, but because they remain closed up for most of the day. It's cold in Mist, and the sun can't easily penetrate the cloud of fog that clouds over our town. But when the sun does shine, those flowers really open up, revealing a beautiful white center. (No, I don't know what flower parts are called, do you? I didn't think so.)

I like to keep a small bouquet in my house-don't read into it-because they have a nice, subtle aroma. It's weird calling it "my house," when six months ago it was actually my mother's house. In my time, though, it's been nearly eleven years. I can't tell you how weird it is to be back in Mist after all this time. You know I actually miss the Feymarch? People here look at me strangely, even though they all know what happened. But in the Feymarch, even though I'm an outsider there, too-I don't get the suspicious stares or the whispers. It's the one place I feel normal.

Well, I did always feel normal around you, up until the second moon trip. I know you didn't really mean everything you said. I know it, but it still grates at me. I think it's because of precisely what happened in the Sealed Cave. Was I the only one who felt like we had a connection there? Cecil and Rosa hate thinking about that place, about all those murderous doors. But I think about it fondly, because something had definitely changed between us there.

I still am not entirely sure why I didn't say something sarcastic to you when you joined me by the fire that night. Maybe because of that sunken look your eyes had. That's when I realized you hadn't been getting much sleep since we'd left the Tower of Babil. And when I asked about it and you said it was nothing… no. It was never "nothing" with you. It was a smirk and a line, or some joke at Kain's expense, or some dumb compliment that reeked of insincerity.

So I moved a little closer to you, until our knees touched, until you turned those sunken eyes to mine, and I asked you again. You looked like you didn't want to tell me, and I wouldn't have blamed you for that. But then you did. You let me into your world, for that one night.

I actually felt a little guilty I hadn't noticed sooner, but now it's clear how much pain you tried to hide from us. Watching your parents not only turn into monsters, but die at their own hands?

I hate to admit this, but emotionally… I'm a little closed off. Blame it on being raised by monsters. Even before then, though. When I was a little girl, traveling with Cecil, and we met Edward right after the love of his life had just died… I basically yelled at him to get over it. I was so angry then, that I'd been torn away from my village, that I'd been pushed on this journey with this man I barely knew, because I had no other choice. I did the same thing you did, I cried when no one was watching and put on my brave face when they were.

And I had nightmares, too, just like yours. I'd see her in them, alive, but they always ended the same way. Some insidious fire we couldn't outrun, or an earthquake that opened the ground and swallowed her whole. I kept reliving the moment over and over again, when she was gone and I couldn't bring her back.

But I'd had ten years to conquer those nightmares, and here we were just a week from your parents dying.

I'm glad I didn't tell you to get over it. I'm glad that, when you needed someone to talk to, I was finally mature enough to just listen, to not interrupt. To take your hand in mine as you reminisced about happier times. We stayed up all night. Even after I was supposed to wake up Rosa to take over the watch.

After that, it felt like we had this secret between us. You'd walk next to me and we'd actually have conversations. I told you about the Feymarch, and you told me about Eblan. We traded stories of who had the worse training regimen. I'm sure you still think dodging a couple shurikens was worse than having to fight an actual fire demon, and then an ice maiden, and then a thunder god.

You started staying up with me when I had watch. And we'd always sit that same way, with our knees touching. Sometimes you'd sneak your hand around my back. And there was that one time when we were so close, the only thing keeping our lips apart was your stupid mask. I could tell you were pissed at Cecil when he interrupted us then, but I'm glad he did. I knew I was getting too close, too fast. I told myself, "Let's wait until we know there's still a world left. Then I can try and figure out if I'm really more than a conquest to him."

Well, the world's still here, Edge.

And despite everything, I'd like to think that I am.

Affectionately,

(This is just slightly more friendly than "Sincerely," don't read into it)

Rydia

Dear Rydia,

It's three in the morning and I can't sleep. Want to guess why? It's actually not another nightmare about my parents. I still have those, but not as often, and they don't leave me emotionally battered anymore. They're still sad, but… they're kind of evolving, if that makes sense. It's not just me watching them die while I can't save them. I actually had a dream the other night that I was fighting with my mother about moving her throne into the basement. And throughout that whole dream it was doing that stupid dream thing, you know? Where I'd be thinking, "Huh, I thought my mother was dead," but then some foggy dream logic would come in, and I'd go, "Well, I guess that never happened and she's 100% alive!"

So, yeah. When I wake up from those dreams, I'm not in a cold sweat and my heart isn't beating a thousand times a minute. But I still have that empty ache in my chest, knowing they're gone.

Anyway, the reason I can't sleep tonight is… you! Did you see that coming? I gotta admit, I did not. Because I already spend a lot of time daydreaming about you, which Seneschal hates. What doesn't he hate, am I right? Maybe I should spend some time finding that guy a wife. Or a husband.

Tonight, though… I was thinking about the Sealed Cave. I return there often. Not in real life, you think I have a death wish? Actually, you do think that, but no. I remember how terrified I was telling you about my parents, and my nightmares, and how much everything was weighing on me. Sounds stupid now, but I really thought that you'd like that goofy, flirty, and devilishly handsome version of me that I'd been showing everyone. I knew from that look in your eyes that you weren't going to stop asking me what was wrong until I actually told you, though.

And I'm glad you did.

I do still want to strangle Cecil after he interrupted us that other time. You were about to kiss me, weren't you? I mean, I would have done it myself, but I'd laid everything out on my end. You were the one who needed to make the next move. All you had to do was pull down the mask. I think if you'd done that, there's no way I would have been able to hold back. I would have taken you in my arms, buried my hands in your silky green hair, and kissed you until Zemus decided he'd had enough and just destroyed the planet already.

So, sure. Maybe that wouldn't have been the best idea for everyone else. But I was lying in bed tonight-my large, empty bed, with very nice sheets and comfortable pillows-thinking about how maybe I should have made that move. But I was so sure you were about to. Please tell me you were about to. Please tell me you were a millisecond away from taking me in your arms, tying me down with your whip, and pouring hot wax on my bare chest.

You're probably making a face. See? You should have just kissed me, and then I wouldn't have to make up these crazy scenarios. And if you'd kissed me, maybe I wouldn't have said what I said on the Lunar Whale. Or maybe I would have. Or… maybe I would have said it better, at least. Maybe I would have pulled you aside and said, "This is Cecil's choice, and I'm not in agreement, but someone needs to look after Rosa."

Is that better? Or is that worse? Agh, I can't tell. This is why I can't sleep. I just keep thinking, what could I have said to make it go differently? What could I have done so that, when we landed back on earth, and I invited you out for that drink, you ended up moving back to Eblan with me?

Do you lose sleep over this kind of stuff too, or is it just me?

Achingly yours,

Edge

Dear Edge,

Do NOT laugh, because I am telling you this in confidence, because there's absolutely no one else in the world I'd ever say this to.

I dreamed about you last night.

Don't get any ideas! It was a very normal dream. Nothing remotely… Sealed Cave worthy. You were in Mist and I was showing you around, that's it. It was actually kind of boring. Like you would care which building sells weapons and where the secret passage in my fireplace goes.

But when I woke up, I had this ache in my chest. And I knew it was because I missed you. Which is only natural, since I haven't seen you for nearly three months, and I'm getting ready to see you next week at the wedding. Not that I'm counting days or anything. I mean, I'll be happy to see everyone. I miss everyone! Well, except Kain, but apparently people still don't know where he is, so I don't know if he'll even be at the wedding.

But it'll be nice to talk to you again. Maybe we can stay up late talking. Might be nice to do that in a place like Baron, that's not overrun with monsters. You know, they do have bars in Baron! Just saying. NOT saying I'm going to get drunk or anything, especially around you.

That came out wrong.

It's not because I think you would take advantage of me. I just don't trust myself to be drunk around you. You see? I'd be the one taking advantage of you. Because I get the feeling maybe you wouldn't say no to me, even if… even if you didn't want to do anything. But who knows. I might be overthinking it. I've never even been drunk before, all I have to go off of are Rosa's stories about having too much wine and shoving Cecil against a wall at her mother's house, while he pleads with her to stop undressing him in front of his future in-laws.

Be honest, what would you do if I was drunk and had you against a wall? If my hands were undoing that purple sash? If I was saying stupid drunk things about how much I missed you, and how much I wanted you, and how much you meant to me?

You know what? Maybe nobody should drink at this wedding.

Maybe you and I could go somewhere that isn't a bar. There's a lot of empty rooms in Baron's castle.

That came out wrong.

DON'T read too much into this.

Haha, what am I even saying. Like I'm even going to send this. I'm just going to seal it up and put it with all the other letters I haven't sent you.

And since you won't see this…

Love,

Rydia

Dear Rydia,

I'm supposed to be packing for Baron, but every time I start, I get this anxious feeling in my chest. I don't want to pack for a wedding. I just want to be there, and I want to see that close-lipped smile you reserve just for me. I honestly wouldn't even care if Kain showed up at the last minute to object to the wedding. I'm just going so I'll have a chance to see you again.

Well, I guess I would go even if I knew you weren't going to be there. Seneschal's been on my case about being more diplomatic. Apparently after the wedding he wants me to go to Fabul and start up a conversation about a training academy. Ninjas and monks training side-by-side. What could go wrong? I don't think it's a bad idea, but I get the feeling Yang's going to be hard to convince. I don't really have the rapport with that guy that you all do. Sometimes I get the feeling he doesn't like me. I basically replaced him in your party. If it wasn't for me, he would have been at the Sealed Cave with you.

Yikes. Please don't tell me you would have almost kissed Yang if I weren't there.

No, no, I know you wouldn't. Even if you were attracted to him, they guy's older than I am and he's married. And let's be real, you don't get the kind of abs I have from training with monks. I'm not saying that makes me a better fighter, but it does make me hotter. Objectively.

Enough about Yang, enough about monks. I'm dying to see you and I can barely hold it in. I don't know what I'm going to do when I see you again. I've thought about fifty different things. I have no idea which one is best, but I do know the worst one I've thought of, which is that you come up to me and I just turn and look the other way like you aren't even there. Yeah, I don't even know why that crossed my mind. That's definitely NOT what I'm going to do, I can guarantee that.

My favorite one is that I ask you to dance, and you're pressed up against me, your hands on the back of my neck, gazing at me through those long green lashes. And then the song will be over too quickly, but we won't part right away. And I'll be wearing formal Eblanese attire, which includes deep pockets. I'll pull out this bundle of letters I've been writing you, but didn't have the courage to send. They're going to be tied with a green ribbon, and I'll tuck a moonflower in there, too. That's the rarest flower we've got in Eblan. And maybe I'll spritz it with a little cologne, because I've heard that scent is one of the most powerful triggers for memory.

And if I can get you back to the Sealed Cave, maybe I can try and do everything right this time.

Yours,

Always,

Edge