Sophoclean Kronicles Remaster
AUTHOR'S NOTE/ How the hell do I explain this fanfic. This is possibly the strangest trollfic I have ever written – if you could call it a trollfic. Yeah, it's terribly written, but it's not offensive. There's a certain charm to this fanfic, which keeps me returning to it now and then.
Sophoclean Kronicles was original written under the rather faked name of Ebony Maria Brown (yes, that's a My Immortal allusion), posted way back in 2012. She was the cousin of the notorious Thomas Finn Brown, a religious zealot most famous for writing The Prayer Warriors fanfics.
The Prayer Warriors has a long and complex history. They were written in response to Conservapedia and intended to parody the religious right. Despite just how ridiculous the premise was – a bunch of fundamentalist Christians going on a mass killing spree – people at the time debated whether the fanfic was genuine or not, the rantings of a madman, or satire gone horridly wrong.
I wrote Sophoclean Kronicles to deflect any claims I was a troll. I wanted to make Ebony and her family as believable as possible I know I could keep writing religious trollfics. Although not a well-written fanfic, Sophoclean Kronicles lacks the offensiveness of Brown's family's previous endeavours. While the fanfic did have some intentional 'troll' traits, such as the innuendos surrounding 'playing with balls', I took this fanfic far more serious. I put effort into it, especially the battle scenes.
At the time, the fanfic quite popular. I was getting a steady amount of hits, and lots of people were reviewing it. I even allowed readers to submit their own characters to feature in the fanfic (although it was, and still is, a rule-breaking offence). But over the years the fanfic has been forgotten to time, with only a few people remembering it. Despite its origins, I feel quite proud of it. I had plenty of memories writing it – it was a time before my mental illness really blew out – and I had a lot of fun writing it.
Maybe I want to relive 2012 again, but I feel Sophoclean Kronicles needs its time in the sun again. Because the fanfic was never properly proofread, I thought I should at least comb through it and clean up the text. I'm trying to keep this as close to the original text, although some changes have to be made. Anyone that was written into the fanfic will have their name changed. I also plan to ton down some of the more problematic elements. Hopefully, this serves as good practice for when I proofread my actual novels. Hopefully, people will find some enjoyment out of this.
Toby_alt
Chapter 1: Sophie's First Pokémon
Sophie couldn't wait for tomorrow. She was so jumpy that she was like a hyperactive child who forgot to take her Ritalin. Her mother had told her to stop jumping on the bed, yet the girl ignored her. She was thinking about what type of Pokémon she could get. She wanted a Pikachu. Its thunder ability could shock anyone. It could come in handy if someone annoyed her. Then she remembered that she always wanted a Squirtle. Some days it would get way too hot. She would love to have a Water Pokémon to cool her down whenever things heated up. And it would come in even more use whenever flamers came to attack her.
"Are you sleeping?" asked her mother.
"Nope," she replied. "I'm just too excited to get to sleep."
"Make sure you do," she replied. "You have a very long day tomorrow. You will choose your Pokémon, fresh and awake to make the right decision."
"Okay, mom," she answered.
"Night," her mother said.
She laid down on her bed. She tried to get to sleep, yet the thought of getting her first Pokémon kept bouncing around her head. She was so excited. There was no way she could get to sleep. She wondered what it would be like if she owned a Bulbasaur. She could whip her opponents into shape before whooping their butts. The Pokémon could even grab things for her since she wasn't all that tall. Although she was allergic to plants, she could easily take some antihistamine to stop her from sneezing. And then she remembered Charmander, the strongest Fire Pokémon of them all. She knew it would be an uphill battle to train a Charmander due to its rebellious nature, and since the first gym leader was rock-type, a type that is strong against Fire Pokémon. It was easier to choose a Water Pokémon as her starter Pokémon. But Charmander could set a house on fire which could come in handy if she ever came across Team Rocket. She didn't want them to steal her Pokémon. She knew she had to do whatever it took to stop them from doing that.
Suddenly she fell asleep. The dream was rather pleasant. She was battling an opponent who had all four of the starter Pokémon. Pikachu was sending a shot of electricity towards a Pidgey, which the shock going just above the ground before zapping up at the Pidgey, sticking it, causing the Pidgey to fall to the ground. Bulbasaur was using its vine move to grab hold of a Gloom, slamming it back and forward from wall to wall, causing its head to hurt and causing it to have brain damage. Hopefully, Gloom will become depressed.
"Get them all," yelled Sophie from a raised platform. The battlefield had two platforms, one on each side of the court.
"How about this," shouted the other trainer, standing on the other platform. He grabbed two Pokéballs and threw them on the battlefield. Out came a Throh and a Sawk.
"Squirtle and Charmander," she yelled back. "Go get them."
Squirtle burst a blast of water at the Throh, but the other Pokémon dodged the attack. The Throh started to charge at her Squirtle before jumping up into a sidekick. Quickly, the fitful Charmander used their Karate knowledge to punch the Throh out of the way before blasting a ball of fire at the Throh. The Pokémon fainted. Suddenly out of nowhere came the Sawk with a super punch knocking the Charmander back at a world. Luckily the Squirtle reacted quickly and managed to blast a water squirt at the Sawk, knocking the enemy Pokémon back.
"And Sophie is the winner," said the referee. Before Sophie could brag about her victory, she woke up realizing that everything was a dream.
"Time to get your first Pokémon," said Sophie's mother.
She quickly went to Professor's Oaks Pokémon lab. His lab itself was massive. Outside was a big field for the Doduo, the Tauros and Ash's Krabby. She walked into Oaks' main room.
"Hello," she said. "I'm here to choose my first Pokémon."
"Come and pick then," he replied. He showed the girl four Pokéballs.
"I choose Squirtle!" she said, picking up the first Pokéball. But nothing came out.
"Already been taken," he said.
"Then I choose Bulbasaur!" she said, picking up the second Pokéball. Again, nothing came out.
"Sorry, someone's already chosen that one," he said.
"Okay, I will choose Charmander!" she said, picking up the third Pokéball. But nothing came out but a puff of smoke.
"Already been taken as well," he said. "But there's always the backup Pokémon."
Sophie nervously picked up the fourth and final Pokéball.
"I choose Pikachu!" she yelled. The Pokéball began shaking, and everything started to light up. She felt very excited. But the Pokéball opened, revealing nothing.
"Woops," he said. "I forgot. Some choose that one earlier today."
"Is there another Pokémon?" she asked.
"Yep," he said. "But this guy is weak."
"I can at least catch another Pokémon if this Pokémon isn't that good," she said. "But this can at least get me through my first gym battle. Okay, show it to me."
"Here," he said, handing her a Pokémon ball.
"I choose…" she said as she holds the ball in her hand. Everything started to light up. The ball opened, and a Pokémon leapt out.
"Tepig," said the Pokémon all excitedly.
"A tea pig?" Sophie said, puzzled and confused.