A/N - Please enjoy my take on the events of the Midnight Desert episode!
Callum looked around in wonder at the magical forest surrounding them. Everywhere he looked was another creature he had never seen before, each more bizarre and exotic than the last. He had since given up asking Rayla what everything was called; after so many questions, the young elf actually seemed ready to hit him. Nevertheless, he doubted he would ever get used to so many magical beings and plants...they had been in Xadia for several days now, and he felt as amazed as when they first arrived. Despite everything going on, he couldn't help but feel thankful to finally experience the magical land for himself.
He was snapped out of his daydreaming when his moonstrider veered off course. The young prince nearly fell out of the saddle; Zym scurried up to his shoulders at the sudden move as Callum regained his balance. "I'm okay!" he shouted, though his companion did not offer a response.
Once settled, his eyes fell to Rayla's back. The sunlight trickled through the thick trees above, casting a gentle glow on her snow white hair. His friend - whose posture was normally straight as an arrow, ready for anything - sat slouched atop her shadowpaw. She had been quiet all day, not even snapping at him for being annoying, or making any sarcastic quips as he struggled to ride the magical beast. The few times he had caught her eyes, they were unfocused and missing their normal sparkle. He hated seeing her like this. She was always so animated and passionate, even when she was upset or angry. Today...she was a shell of her normal self, completely numb. It pained Callum to see her like this; he desperately wanted to help any way that he could.
"So, um...yesterday must have been a hard day for you," Callum said, breaking the silence at last. Though he struggled to stay on the moonstrider, let alone control it, he was finally able to pull up alongside her.
"Not really." Rayla responded curtly, feigning indifference in her voice. Callum saw right through the façade. She just needs a little encouragement to open up, he told himself.
"Back when I was a kid, my family used to do this thing called 'big feelings time'. You close your eyes and ask yourself if you have any big feelings. Then you say them out loud, and the other person says they hear your feelings, and it makes you feel good!" He shot her a cheerful, optimistic smile, hoping to encourage her.
Callum did not get the reaction he was hoping for. Rayla rolled her eyes in annoyance at him. "Humans are...so weird" she shot back before pulling ahead of him on the path. "I don't want to talk about it, just drop it."
Callum wasn't one to give up that easily. "Come on, Rayla. It's okay. You can talk to me."
Rayla called back over her shoulder, "There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine. Leave me alone."
"I'm just saying," he said as he caught back up to her, this time staying in the saddle. "You've been through a lot lately. It would be understandable if you had some - "
"Ugh, I said, just leave me ALONE!"
" - big, big feelings!"
"FINE, Callum!" Rayla shouted, exasperated. She pulled on her reins suddenly, turning her shadowpaw to stop Callum's moonstrider in its path. "You want me to talk about my 'big feelings' with you? Let's see, where should I start?" Her violet eyes burned directly into Callum's, which had widened in surprise at the unexpected outburst.
"Oh, I know! How about...I feel betrayed by my parents. They were traitors to our kind, to the dragon queen, and to ME! Their cowardice left me all alone, forced to deal with a tarnished reputation I had to deal with my entire life. I don't even know if they are dead or alive, but I genuinely don't know which I'd prefer!". Her breath came quickly, like the words were physically paining her to get out. Her voice was higher than normal, but remained steady; Callum knew better than to interrupt, and let her continue.
"What's next...I feel guilty, because I was directly responsible for the deaths of five other assassins, including Runaan, who was like a father to me when my own disappeared. I feel disappointed with myself, because I spent my entire life training to be an assassin, and I ended up being a complete and utter failure at it. And I feel conflicted about that, because I now know that everything I have ever been taught about humans was a lie, so part of me is glad that I failed and that I've started a more important mission. What am I missin'..." She crossed her arms, tapping her four fingers along her bicep in mock concentration.
"Oh yes, I feel sad, no...I feel devastated, because everyone I have ever known and loved has shunned me. I can never go back to the only home I have ever known. And that thought makes me scared...because when this is over - if we survive, if we manage to succeed - I have no idea what I will do next. Where will I go, Callum? You have a kingdom to return to, your brother, friends and family…." Rayla's voice, which had remained strong through her entire tirade, finally softened, breaking. "I have nothing. I have no one. I am all alone." Her eyes shined, still locked on Callum's, and he saw her bite the inside of her cheek as though to keep from crying. "Is that enough 'big feelings' for you?" she said after a pause, barely above a whisper.
Callum's mouth hung open, eyes blinking rapidly as he tried to process everything the young elf had just said. She finally opened up to me, he thought in wonder, and knew it was critical for him to say the exact right things in response. No words of comfort came to mind, though; all he could think about was how stupid he was for not realizing the amount of pain Rayla had been in. Nothing she had said was news to him, of course, but he had never taken the time to think about everything from her perspective. Any one of the things she mentioned would be a lot for anyone to deal with, let alone all of them at once, and so many things happening in such a short amount of time...Stupid, Callum, stupid, he thought to himself. How could he have been so inconsiderate? How had he not seen just how much she was trying to shoulder by herself?
"Rayla...I - " he started, his voice soft, when a sudden whooshing sound interrupted him. Rayla snapped out of her daze, whipping her head around.
"Someone's comin' " she said in a low voice. She dismounted her steed with a flip, pulling out her two blades in one motion. A winged figure landed directly in front of them.
"Greetings, travelers. My name is Naimi-Selari-Nykantia. But they call me "Nyx".
Much of the afternoon passed in silence between Callum and Rayla as they rode the ambler through the Midnight Desert. Callum had attempted, on several occasions, to continue the conversation that had been interrupted; however, Rayla was not eager to humor him. "I think I've done enough talking for one day," she finally told him when she could no longer pretend she was too busy cleaning her blades to hear him.
He wanted to protest; he really felt like she had more to get off her chest, that talking about it would make her feel better. He just wanted so badly to help her. But, he also knew that reliving everything that had happened to her was difficult and painful, and didn't want to push her too hard. Reluctantly, Callum dropped the subject.
Hours later in the protection of the oasis, Callum lay on his side, fully awake, staring at the sand dunes through the rippling forcefield that surrounded them. Rayla's words from earlier swirled in his head. 'I have no one. I am all alone.' she had said. But you're not alone, Callum thought. Did she really think he was going to abandon her as soon as they returned Zym? Though it may not have been a long time since they met, he and Rayla had gone through so much together. They forged a bond stronger than any other friend he had known. He couldn't imagine a life without her in it. He didn't want to.
A soft sniffle interrupted his thoughts. It was so quiet he was sure he wouldn't have heard it if he weren't already awake. Callum gently rolled onto his back and looked over at Rayla; her eyes were closed, but her lip trembled. The moonlight illuminated unmistakable tear tracks down her cheeks.
"Hey," Callum said in a low voice, trying not to startle her. "Rayla, are you - "
She bolted upright, horrified that he had caught her crying. "I'm fine! I just...I just want to be alone!" she said, throwing her blanket off her and leaping to her feet.
"No - wait, Rayla don't -"
"Just leave me alone!" she shouted over her shoulder as she bolted away from their makeshift campsite. Callum knew he couldn't do that...he had no idea what was out there, whether this so-called "oasis" was even safe, and he knew that above all else, Rayla just needed someone to be there for her.
Without hesitating, he ran after her. Normally she would have been nearly impossible to catch, but there wasn't much distance before reaching the other side of the energized perimeter. He found her before too long, crouched in front of a pond with her hood pulled tightly around her face.
"Go away, Callum…" she said between sobs when she heard his footsteps approach. "I...I don't want you to see me like this."
"Rayla…" he said gently, reaching for her shoulder, "it's okay to cry. It's natural to have emotions, and to get overwhelmed by them when you try to keep them bottled up inside."
"It is not 'okay'!" Rayla shouted back, standing suddenly and throwing his hand off her shoulder. "Crying means I'm weak. I've been taught my whole life to keep my feelings in check, and I've never been able to do that. Just another thing to add to the list of 'Rayla's Failures'. I've always been too emotional, I've never been strong enough to cast my feelings aside. No wonder they ghosted me. I don't deserve a place in the clan. I've always been too weak, I've never been good enough and I never will be!" She kicked a rock into the river in frustration.
"Shut up, Rayla!" Callum said in a sudden burst of anger. She whipped her head around in surprise at his outburst.
"Wh-what?" she said in confusion.
"Shut up. Stop being mean to my friend!" Rayla blinked at him, no idea what to say in response. "Rayla, you are not weak. You are probably the strongest person I've ever met, both physically and emotionally. Your emotions are part of what makes you so strong. Your big heart is the only reason we are here, right now, returning Zym to Xadia and hopefully ending a centuries-long war. You care so much about others, and about doing the right thing, that you always put other people's needs before your own. Even when that decision is hard, even when it means you may suffer in the process, you always do what is right. You shed tears because of how much you miss the people who are no longer in your life...your parents, Runaan, your clan. That's not a weakness, Rayla, and if you or your people can't understand that, then...you're just wrong."
The two stared at each other for a moment. Rayla's crying stopped as she considered Callum's kind words, but didn't know what to say back.
"You shouldn't be embarrassed about crying when you're sad," Callum continued. He slowly reached up and pulled her hood back gently so he could look into her eyes. "Your feelings are valid, Rayla. I hope to be someone you feel comfortable talking to when things get hard. You don't have to bear the burden all by yourself." She broke his gaze as her eyes welled with tears once more, but she didn't move away from him. "I know firsthand how hard it is to lose a parent...I can't imagine losing them both at once, or how hard that must have been on you. I know their actions have impacted you greatly, and it's completely understandable to have mixed emotions about them. As far as Runaan and the other assassins...they were your friends, and it hurts to lose people you're close to. But it wasn't your fault, Rayla. They knew their cover was blown, and took the risk willingly. And even if you hadn't let that guard go, I don't think there would have been any other outcome. The castle guard knew something was coming, and had defenses up for weeks before your people arrived."
Rayla felt tears fall down her cheeks, but this time she let them. It felt like a weight was being lifted from her shoulders.
"I know that being ghosted by your clan hurts so much. But they are wrong about what happened that night, and they should never have banished you without giving you a chance to explain yourself. Maybe one day we can find a way to clear things up, but if not...you'll always have a home with me. Er-" he stopped himself when she glanced at him a look that he couldn't place, a light pink dancing on her pale cheeks. "Me and Ezran, I mean! Both of us, in Katolis. You'll always be welcome there, and you'll always have us."
He reached up, wiping tears from her cheeks as softly as he could. She managed a small smile at him. "Thank you, Callum…I'm - I'm sorry for yelling at you, and for shutting you out. It's hard for me to trust people and to open up to them, as I'm sure you can tell." They both chuckled. "But I'm lucky to know someone who cares enough to be patient with me. I...thank you".
"And I'm lucky to know someone as amazing as you, Rayla," he said with an earnest smile. "I want you to know, you are deserving, and you are good enough. You have a big heart, and...you're fast, and you're beautiful, and -" Callum was interrupted by Rayla's lips gently meeting his own.
His mind raced. She's kissing me. SHE'S KISSING ME! As soon as it had started, it ended; Rayla pulled away from him, with a hopeful and sheepish look on her face, waiting to see his reaction.
Too many thoughts ran through Callum's head in that moment. That was...amazing! I've wanted to do that for so long, but I was so sure she didn't like me back in that way...but wait, I don't want her to think I was ONLY saying those things to get her to kiss me! Because I meant them! But also...I am really glad that she did, I need to tell her that I - oh, no…..
He knew instantly he had waited too long to respond. Rayla took his shocked silence the wrong way and took an embarrassed step away from him, face turning red.
"That's...not what I was expecting….I - I wasn't saying that so you would...but don't get me wrong, I definitely -" Callum struggled to get the words out.
Rayla's tearful, vulnerable state was suddenly gone. She was back to her regular, ornery self.
"We will NEVER speak of this again, do you hear me?" she said in the sharpest tone she could muster, pointing at the young prince.
"Well I, wait a second, I wasn't saying that I -"
"No, I mean we will NEVER ever talk about this again. Do you understand? I will bind myself to killing you if you ever mention this to anyone."
UGH, Callum, you idiot, he thought to himself. The moment was gone, he missed his chance.
"I...I understand. Won't mention it again," he said...though he fully intended on mentioning it again when the time was right.
"Good. And uh...thank you again. For being there for me. For being my friend." Despite the awkwardness of the moment before, Rayla gave him a shy smile, then turned to head back towards camp.
"Always, Rayla," he said in return. I'll always be there for you.
A/N - I ended it here because I personally liked how "Heroes and Masterminds" wrapped this up :) Hope you enjoyed my version of this episode's already super sweet events.
Also, the line "stop being mean to my friend!" is inspired by my fiancé, who says something similar to me whenever I say something bad about myself. So shout out to him for that :) Thanks for reading!