I'm Done Now

by Isk072

But just as she was able to break free from his hold on her, he had his hands on her shoulders and a second later her back was up against the door. "What th-" Hard M. One shot.

A/N: First: Thank you SO MUCH for every single wonderful review of "This Year's Love" and "Back Off". You have no idea how happy it makes me. Struggling hard with covid fatigue these days, so your positive feedback is really lifting me up.

Sooo, I've been writing a lot of emotional smut lately. Because if EO happens, that's how I think it would play out. Obviously not as detailed as I've written it because SVU/OC unfortunately aren't HBO shows. Buuut...

What I would LOVE to see is Liv losing her shit. She's been through so much since he left and she has every right to be angry with him, even though she feels terrible about Kathy. Right now I feel like she's just like this volcano ready to burst, but she just won't let herself erupt.

But what if she did?

Let's file this under angry, ugly and smutty.

She was done. Absolutely done with his bullshit.

Three months ago he had stumbled back into her life, without a single warning. Without as much as a tiny heads up. He could've called, texted, emailed. Anything. "Hey, Liv, I know it's been a while but I'm coming to New York. Wanna meet and get your heart broken and trampled on and spat on all over again?"

Three months and all she had gotten was his tears, his PTSD and a letter. That fucking letter.

She had read it at least fifteen times, trying to understand it. Trying to give his words some meaning. But she failed every time.

I'm too old for games, Elliot.

And I'm done.

That's why she was hammering on his door in the middle of the night. Not completely wasted, but not entirely sober.

"Liv? What are you doing here?"

"I'm done, Elliot."

"Done? What do you mean you're done?" He stared at her with his blue eyes, full of confusion.

"I can't do this anymore."

"Can you at least come inside so we can talk?"

"Isn't Eli home?"

"No, staying with a friend." He said as he opened the door a little more. "Please, Liv?"

"No, I'm leaving. I just wanted to let you know that you don't need to call me anymore. Actually, just delete my number."

"What? What the fuck is going on?"

She was fuming.

"You wanna know what's going on?"

"Yes!"

She pushed him aside and walked into his living room. Throwing her jacket on the couch like this was her home and not his.

"You really don't get it, do you?" She said as she turned around to face him. Her cheeks were a little flushed and she was barely keeping her tears at bay.

"No, obviously." He said as he threw his arms out.

"You left me, Elliot! And then you come back and it's like you want me around but you don't actually want me around. Like you want me on stand by or some shit. You keep pushing me away and just when I think I can deal with that, you pull me back in only to do it over and over again. I can't do it anymore, El!"

His shocked expression suddenly softened and he was smiling.

Son of a bitch.

"What? You think this is funny?"

"No. It's not. It's just... You called me El. You haven't done that since I came back."

She scoffed at him and rolled her eyes.

"You know what. Fuck you."

"What do you want from me, Liv?"

"I want a goddamn explanation! I want to know exactly why you left the way you left and I want to know why you're treating me like shit now that you're back."

"You said you read the letter!"

"It was a fucking word salad, Elliot!" She hated herself for slipping and using his nickname.

"Wow. Are you really that stupid?"

Her eyes widened with disbelief. "What did you just call me?"

"I called you stupid. Because if you read the letter, actually read it, you would understand why I left."

"Because you cared too much? Because our partnership had become a burden to you?"

"Is that what you got from it?"

"Kind of, yeah."

"I left because I was exhausted!"

"From what? The job? Me?"

"Being in love with you, for twelve fucking years, Olivia."

"No!" She pointed a finger angrily at him then, moving towards him until her finger almost touched him.

"That's not love! You don't leave the people you love. Not like that. You broke me, El! You fucking destroyed me!" She yelled as she slammed her now flat hand against his chest.

"And I will never forgive myself for that. I never even tried."

"Yeah, I'm sure it's been really hard for you."

"What the fuck do you want me to say, Liv?"

"I want you to take it back."

"What?"

"Take it back! Say you didn't mean it. Say you didn't love me for twelve years."

"I never stopped."

"What?"

"I never stopped loving you. So, twenty two years."

"Fuck you."

"Liv..."

"No, seriously. Fuck you."

She couldn't take it anymore. She had reached her limit and then some. She needed to get away from him as fast as possible because he was killing her with his words and surely standing here and listening to him was suicidal.

She picked up her jacket and was just about to walk past him when he grabbed her arm.

She glared at him. "Get your hand off me."

"No."

"I swear to god, Elliot."

But just as she was able to break free from his hold on her, he had his hands on her shoulders and a second later her back was up against the door. "What th-"

His mouth on hers.

He was fucking kissing her.

She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him. She glared at him again with tear filled eyes for three seconds before she slapped him. Hard.

"Elliot." Her voice cracked as she watched him recover from the shock.

And then he was back on her.

She wanted him to stop. She wanted all of this to stop. Nothing about this was ok.

But his tongue was in her mouth now and his hands... fuck, his hands were under her shirt and moving up her stomach.

"Stop." She whimpered against his mouth just as his palm closed over her breast.

"Is that what you want?" He said just as his hand slipped inside her bra and his fingers traced over a nipple. A rock hard nipple.

She didn't reply, because how could she?

He was in her mouth, on her breast and she could already feel him between her legs.

But this was not why she had come here tonight.

Or was it? She really didn't know anything anymore because he was so hard against her.

"Make up your mind, Liv." He was whispering in her ear now, while roughly playing with the nipple between his fingers.

Fuck him.

"Ugh... I..."

She wanted to cry. Scream. Punch him. She wanted to hurt him like he had hurt her.

But his lips were on her neck now.

"Fuck you." She managed to mutter under her breath but she made no effort to stop him.

"Is that what you want?" He asked before he dragged his tongue up her neck, over her chin and into her open mouth.

Fucking arrogant.

He was so fucking arrogant.

So it made absolutely no sense to her that she, not him, moved her hands between them and started to unbutton and unzip her pants.

He looked down and watched as she slipped her own hand inside of her lace underwear.

She threw her head back against the door as her fingers started to move around her throbbing clit.

"Jesus, Liv..." He was breathing hard against her and she wondered how long she could keep going before he snapped.

Not long.

Before she knew what was happening he had pulled her hand out and he was grabbing her wrist so hard that for a second she worried he was gonna break it.

Suddenly her fingers was in his mouth and he was licking them clean. Fucking christ, El.

He released her fingers with a smug look on his face and it made her blood boil.

"Fuck you, El."

She'd had enough of this.

She pushed him backwards and didn't stop until his ass crashed with the dining table.

She wanted control, but fuck, she had none.

"Take off your clothes." He demanded suddenly. She scoffed at him. What a presumptuous asshole.

She didn't take off her clothes. It was his time to break.

"Shut the fuck up." She said through gritted teeth as she slipped her hand inside of his sweatpants.

He inhaled sharply through his nose when her hand closed around him.

Fuck, he's big.

His blue eyes followed her when she got down on her knees. And for the first time that night she smiled. Not because she was happy, she wasn't even entirely sure if she wanted this, she smiled because she had finally wiped that smug look off his face.

He grabbed the edge of the table as she pulled at his pants and boxers.

Ok, yeah, I want this.

"Liv."

It wasn't a question, or a warning or anything really. Just her name. Enough to let her know that she had regained control.

She looked up and locked eyes with him just as she let her tongue come out to circle around the tip of his rock hard cock.

Her brown eyes were still glued to his blue when she closed her mouth around him.

His head fell back then and she finally felt a sense of victory in this destructive game they were playing.

She pushed aside every single conflicted emotion in her body as she started to move.

It didn't take long before he was groaning and breathing heavily above her.

Do it, El. Just fucking do it. I know you want to.

And a few seconds later he was fisting her hair.

Harder. More.

His hips jerked just as he pushed her head a little and shit, she didn't know anyone could go that deep. She realized that she was moaning against him and she hated herself for it.

Just breathe through your fucking nose.

"Stop. Liv, you gotta stop."

But she wasn't done. She wanted him right on the edge of his boiling point.

So she shook her head.

I'm working here. Let me.

But he couldn't.

And that's why seconds later she was more or less lifted from the floor and turned around. She winced from the pain he caused when he roughly tugged her pants and underwear down.

He nearly knocked the breath out of her when he pushed her down on the table and she let out a deep groan as she reached for something, anything to hold on to.

"El..." She whimpered and she didn't know if it was because she wanted to stop, or because she needed him inside of her more than she had needed anything in her entire life.

"What?" He panted out as he grabbed her ass and positioned himself between her legs.

"Just... Fuck... Do it."

She cried out as he filled her, biting down on her lip so hard that it split open.

Elliot was fucking her from behind and she was tasting blood. Of course it had come to this. Of course it has always been meant to happen like this.

She hated it and loved it all at once.

She pushed back against him and gasped as she forced herself to stand and his cock hit an especially sensitive spot.

"Pull out, El."

"What?" He was so close and she almost didn't recognize his voice because as deep as their relationship went, as well as she knew him, that was a voice she had never heard before.

"Pull out!"

She couldn't let him come inside her. She just couldn't.

In a somewhat awkward move she turned around while pulling her shirt over her head before throwing it to the floor.

She grabbed him and watched his face, now read and glistening with sweat.

"Use your fingers." She demanded as she started to move her hand diligently.

Because god, she was close, too.

He got the message and wasted no time before he filled her again. His palm kept moving against her clit and she knew that she was only seconds away from unraveling completely.

"Liv... Fuck!"

That were the words that left his mouth when he spilled all over her stomach. Not "I love you". Just her name and "fuck". And she despised how it felt so fitting.

She hated how much his fluids on her olive skin turned her on. But it was exactly what she needed to come apart against his hand.

She gripped the edge of the table behind her and grinded her hips through the earth shattering and heart wrenching climax.

When she finally regained some control of her breathing she felt his eyes on her.

"You're bleeding."

"Mm."

She tilted her head a little and licked her injured lip again. And then she felt his release trickle down her stomach. She looked down and felt tears well up in her eyes.

Fuck.

She felt deflated. Sore. And hurt. But she didn't have it in her to be angry anymore. She was just too spent, too exhausted to hate him.

He moved his hand and suddenly but gently, his thumb traced over her lip.

Without a single word he started to undress both of them and when every piece of clothing were scattered on the floor, he took her hand and guided her towards the bathroom.

Like a punch to the stomach she realized, she would always, always, follow him. Anywhere. No questions asked. Just the two of them, stumbling around in the dark, together.

A/N: Yes, I'm in therapy.