After several hours subtly disagreeing, Rumplestiltskin finally gave in to Belle's request to join the heroes for dinner. Although it was nice of Henry to invite them, Rumplestiltskin still didn't fancy being among the courageous, imp hating heroes. They didn't want him there - except for Henry - so why should he go? There wasn't a reason. And then there was Belle. That was his only reason, and it was darn good. Unfortunately, the Charmings, who were hosting the party, must have invited Regina too, because there was a dress code. They had to dress down.
And that's exactly why you could find Rumplestiltskin being dragged - and yes, that is an accurate term - down the street by his lovely wife. Several different outfits, two hours of cooking, and many pleas later, Belle and Rumplestiltskin were standing in front of Granny's, which had been reserved completely for this dinner party. The booths were moved out of the way and in the middle of the diner, a long table with many, many chairs sat. Luckily, there weren't chairs at the head of the table, so there would be no fighting amongst the men.
"... And Rumple, remember to be on your best behavior," Belle reminded for the hundredth time.
"By best behavior, you mean…?" Rumplestiltskin trailed off with a raised eyebrow.
Belle gave him a nudge on the shoulder before saying, "Don't be intimidating, don't make fun of them, and please don't bring up your history with them."
"But Belle! They're asking for it!" Rumplestiltskin said indignantly.
"Rumple," she warned as she glared at him.
"Fine," he acquiesced.
Rumplestiltskin opened the door and let Belle step through before he entered the diner himself. He removed his wife's coat, ignoring the sudden silence in the room. He was about to remove his own coat when he remembered that Belle told him it was supposed to stay on. He was used to wearing leather, but not like this. He had a black leather jacket on over a crimson dress shirt, blue jeans with a black belt, and black leather boots. At Belle's request, he had the top two buttons of his shirt undone.
"Grandpa! I'm so glad you could come," Henry ran up to him, breaking the silence.
"Henry, m'boy, so good to see you. Thank you for inviting us," Rumplestiltskin bent down to hug his grandson.
"I really wasn't sure if you would show up," Henry admitted sheepishly.
"For you? Always," the imp smiled when he caught Belle's playful glare.
"Belle!" Henry leapt into his step-grandmother's arms, almost knocking her off her feet.
"It's wonderful to see you, Henry," Belle smiled sweetly.
The young boy led Rumplestiltskin and his wife to chairs near the middle of the left side. He seemed over zealous at the prospect of having all his family in one place. Didn't the boy know that this dinner party could very well end with the town in flames?
"Good to see you, love," Killian came over and gave Belle a hug.
Rumplestiltskin scowled. The pirate only did that to annoy him, he knew it. The imp didn't get a sideways glance while everyone greeted Belle. He really didn't mind, but Belle seemed slightly upset. She held the heroes in such high regards, she would never see them as he did. Rumplestiltskin didn't want her to, either. It was his job, and his job only, to be cynical and moody. He could hate the heroes, but he would never stain her white-as-snow view of them. (Every pun intended.)
"First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for coming..." Oh Lord, he was wearing one of those atrocious plaid shirts, "... Because family means everything to us…" I wonder if he realizes his undershirt is inside-out, "...My lovely wife Snow…" Hmm, oh he's talking about how wonderful it is to have a nice family now. Cliche amateur, "...After Emma broke the curse…" With whose help, Mr. High Horse? "...We're all so glad our family has grown…" Is Belle crying? "...You all mean everything to us…" Ha! Until it comes down to you or them. Charmings over everyone else, 'because that's what heroes do,' "...And now, I hope everyone enjoys the food," David finished with a smile and a raised glass.
Everyone started clapping and cheering around him. He muttered 'wonderful speech' somewhere in there. That was being a supportive family member, right? Belle would be proud of him... if she had heard him.
"Wasn't that such a good toast? The Charmings really have a way with speeches," Belle practically swooned.
"Yah, I've only heard that about... a million other times?" Rumplestiltskin breathed.
"Hmm?" his wife looked over at him.
"That was such a lovely speech. I hope we get another inspiring one like that soon," the imp smiled.
"Aww, you're really warming up to this, huh?" Belle looked so proud.
"Sure," Rumplestiltskin smiled.
He was going to do this. He was going to do this. It was going to happen. Belle wanted this. Belle really, really wanted this. Belle was going to be proud of him when he got through this whole night without fighting. It was going to happen. He was going to be amazing.
"So, Rumple, how are you?" Zelena smiled teasingly.
Nope, no way, "Good, now that I don't sleep in a cage."
"Oh, you're not still hung up on that, are you?" Zelena cocked her head.
Belle was shooting him a glare. Nobody else's glares meant anything, but hers did. There were glares, and then there were glares. When Belle glared, it was like having a pet rabbit snarl at you. It never happened, but when it did, you're in trouble. She looked borderline murderous right now.
"No, of course not. Who would I be if I didn't forgive and forget?" Rumplestiltskin smiled, but he looked at Belle the whole time.
When he turned, he was looking at Zelena's smug face. He could practically hear her thoughts across the table. Sit, heel, stay. What a good boy. He didn't want to be seen as Belle's little pet, but he knew he was. It was seen as an unhealthy relationship where the wife constantly kept her snarling animal under control. Well, it was a good thing he didn't give a-
"That's such a lovely blouse, Snow! Where'd you get it? Storybrooke's a lovely town, but there aren't nearly enough clothes shops," Belle started with the queen.
"Says you," Rumplestiltskin murmured.
"I know! I got this at Modern Fashions," Snow smiled brightly.
Looks like all his conversations were going to happen under his breath tonight. Oh, well. He started shoveling food on his plate. He wasn't going to eat a lot, but he needed to look busy. He caught Regina's playful smirk out of the corner of his eye. She knew exactly why he was here. Robin probably dragged her here too. She nodded to Belle, then him, then she raised an eyebrow. Rumplestiltskin nodded slowly and discreetly pretended to choke himself. Regina snickered from the other end of the table while Robin looked at her, confused. When he asked, Regina just shook her head and kept laughing. Yes, she knew exactly what he was going through.
"Don't you own it, Rumple?" he heard suddenly.
He turned around to see Belle, Red, and Snow staring at him intently. What the hell were they talking about? Belle had asked him about what, now? Was he supposed to be paying attention? What did she want!
"Yes," Rumplestiltskin added robotically.
If she got angry, he would just change his answer. He could do that, right? It was a conversation, not a school test? He wasn't getting graded on this. ... Right? Oh, Lord.
"I knew it! He owns everything. Do you get a discount when you go there, Belle?" Red threw up her hands.
And just like that, Belle was gone. She was sucked back into the vortex that was women's obsession with clothes and gossip. He'd lived for centuries, and he was still no closer to figuring them out. Would women ever make sense? They never wanted you to fix anything. They always wanted you to say how wrong you were. They-
"Looking a little lost, Crocodile," Killian cut off his thought process, "Need some help?"
"If I was lost, the last thing I would do is ask a pirate for directions," Rumplestiltskin spit the word like a curse.
"No need to be snippy. I was just asking you if that evil little mind of yours needed some help. I'm not sure your head was ever screwed on properly, Rumple," Jones had the audacity to use his nickname, no way.
Rumplestiltskin was about five seconds away from using his magic to shove that hook into a really uncomfortable place, when Belle turned around. The woman was about to berate him, he could tell.
"Play nice," Belle leveled him with one of her what-did-I-tell-you looks.
"Don't worry. This conversation is almost over. I was just about to-"
"Rumple."
"But-"
"Rumple!"
"Fine," Rumplestiltskin pursed his lips and waited until Belle turned away.
When she wasn't looking anymore, Rumplestiltskin made a circle with the fingers on his left hand, a hook with the ones on his right, and then shoved his right hand through the hole. Hook paled and turned back to Emma, joining her conversation while glancing at the sorcerer every few seconds. Ha, like Rumplestiltskin would do that visibly. No. If he did it, no one would ever know.
"So, Rumplestiltskin, what convinced you to come?" darn it, now he had to talk to Charming.
"The voice in the corner of my mind," Rumplestiltskin looked dead serious.
"The Dark One?" David looked confused.
"No! Belle," the imp corrected.
"Oh. That makes more sense," the prince nodded.
"Oh, really? I said it because I wanted to confuse you more," Rumplestiltskin smiled coyly.
David breathed heavily through his nose. Wonderful! This evening was finally going to be interesting. Now he could really start to annoy that little bratling. That egotistical, self-absorbed, high riding-
"Rumple!"
No! Not again! He was just about to make this all worth it. Why would she interrupt him now? Couldn't she have waited another seven seconds? He was about to initiate a sword fight. Or, one man swinging a sword, one man teleporting away and laughing at the sword-swinging idiot. Whatever way you choose to look at it.
"What?!" Rumplestiltskin turned to his wife.
"I said, play. Nice!" Belle chided indignantly.
"I'm being an angel!" Rumplestiltskin argued.
Just to prove his point, he snapped his fingers, making a glowing gold ring appear above his head. He had a halo! She couldn't say a thing against that.
"Rumple."
Ooh, she sounded angry. Maybe he should be a little more realistic.
"Fine."
He snapped his fingers again. This time, glowing red horns appeared under the halo.
"Rumplestiltskin!"
Oh, darn. She never used his full name. He almost asked her if she was going to take away his dessert, but Regina shook her head slowly when he opened his mouth. At least someone was looking out for his safety.
"I'm sincerely very, extremely sorry," Rumplestiltskin closed his eyes and nodded his head, putting his hand over his heart.
And after all his efforts to look genuine, Belle just glared. Rumplestiltskin snapped his fingers and the magic dissipated. Belle nodded firmly and then turned back to her conversation with Red. Everyone else was able to see him scrunch up his nose and stick out his tongue at the back of his wife's head. He went back to eating before she could turn around and see, though. Emma and Robin stifled their laughter while Regina just outright spit her water all over Charming. Rumplestiltskin snickered as he watched the prince waddle into the bathroom to wipe himself off.
"Grandpa, did you know that would happen?" Henry, who had remained mostly quiet the whole time, asked curiously.
"Maybe, maybe not," Rumplestiltskin smirked.
"Which one?" Henry raised an eyebrow.
"It's all semantics anyway," the imp shrugged and went back to eating.
Rumplestiltskin could practically feel Henry smiling from across the table. Was he being a bad influence? Nah. The kid learns bravery from everyone else in the family. Now, he needs to learn how to use his brain.
"So, how have things been going?" not again! Wait, it's just Snow.
"I'd say pretty well. Then again, Belle can flip on a dime," Rumplestiltskin whispered the last part.
"Really? I thought you were the moody one," oooh, puppy's got teeth!
"Not all the time. I suppose I can't blame it all on her. After all, she's only really moody once a month," Rumplestiltskin smiled conspiratorially, "And they thought Red turned into a wolf."
Snow laughed. He was surprised to find that... he actually liked it. She wasn't sneering at him! That was good, right? He thought he was doing pretty good.
"I'm sure Charming says the same thing about me," Snow smirked over at her oblivious husband.
"Most likely. I'd hate to be stuck with you and that bow when you PMS," Rumplestiltskin winked playfully.
"Rumple! I wouldn't shoot him," Snow paused and looked down, "I would do something much more subtle."
"I see where Emma got her brains," he laughed.
"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Snow blushed.
"What? No. I was talking about your charming prince," they both looked over to see David trying to figure out how to keep his spaghetti on his fork.
"I don't know where she got her cooking skills, though," Snow whispered when they finished laughing.
"I thought you were a good cook," Rumplestiltskin's eyebrows drew together.
"That's what I'm saying," Snow looked almost embarrassed.
"Do you cook often then? Since Emma doesn't?" he cocked his head.
"Yes, it's my stress relief hobby," she admitted.
"Really? That's what I do too," the imp smiled.
"Hmm. I figured Belle would be the cook," Snow looked at him curiously.
"No! She set my kitchen on fire back in the enchanted forest," Rumplestiltskin shot a sideways glance at his wife.
"Really?" Snow gasped, then started laughing hysterically.
"Yes! I was distraught," he put a hand over his heart and faked distress.
Snow dissolved into a fit of giggles. Belle looked over at her husband and friend, and she smiled. It was nice to see him getting along with someone other than her and Henry.
"What are you two talking about?" Emma asked her mother.
"Oh, just cooking," Snow smiled.
"Yah, Mom makes a mean steak. She can cook squirrels, too," Emma grinned.
"I'm sure. I love all the different ways you can cook squirrels. It's so fun to experiment," Rumplestiltskin reminisced.
"Oh! I've never met anyone else who likes it!" Snow squealed.
"Perhaps we can trade recipes," Rumplestiltskin suggested.
"That sounds great. I'll give you my number," Snow wrote it on a napkin and handed it to him.
"Really, Mom? Trading cooking tips with the Dark One?" Emma raised an eyebrow.
"Yah, well... " Snow blushed again and looked down, smiling.
"Don't worry, I don't poison the food. I promise," Rumplestiltskin winked.
The rest of the dinner slid by easily. Rumplestiltskin, Snow, and Emma - much to Hook's chagrin- continued to talk about different things. It was all easy banter that lasted well into the night. Surprisingly, when it was time to go, Rumplestiltskin found himself genuinely sad to go.
"Ready, Rumple?" Belle smiled happily.
"Of course," Rumplestiltskin kissed her cheek and helped her into her jacket.
Once they said their good-byes and got outside, Belle started not-so-subtly glancing at Rumplestiltskin. She looked like she wanted to say something, but was hesitant.
"Keep doing that and your eyes might get stuck that way," he smirked.
"I was just wondering if you enjoyed yourself," Belle nudged him.
"Perhaps more than was healthy for an old demon," Rumplestiltskin smiled.
"Thank you, for being on your best behavior," Belle looked really proud of him.
"Me? Never!" Rumplestiltskin would always be an imp, and never a tame one.
