Chapter One: That's Amore!

Even before they got together, Harry had been painfully aware that it was never going to be just him and Ginny in their relationship. With Cho, there had only been the two of them to worry about (or so he thought, until he realised that Cedric Diggory's ghost was a more active part of their partnership than he was), but with Ginny there was an entire family of combative and opinionated redheads to contest with, none of whom had looked favourably on Ginny's past boyfriends and who he was unreasonably afraid would disapprove of her new one, no matter how many of their lives he'd saved.

Ginny, of course, had reassured him that his fears were entirely unfounded, at least where her parents were concerned. Molly Weasley had long considered Harry an honorary member of their family and would probably be delighted that he was now bound to them in an even deeper fashion, whilst Arthur was not one to interfere in his children's love lives and regardless was fond enough of Harry to trust him with his only daughter. Her brothers, however, were an altogether different matter. Ron had already proved enough of an obstacle to their coupling, and he was probably the least threatening of the Weasley clan: Harry preferred not to think about what could happen should expert curse breaker Bill, dragon tamer Charlie or master pranksters Fred and George disapprove of his newfound closeness with the baby of the family.

Such thoughts however were mostly at the back of his mind as he entered the Great Hall for breakfast one shining May morning. It had been just over a week since his and Ginny's rather public first kiss following Gryffindor's victory against Ravenclaw, and Harry still found it difficult believing he was not trapped in a spectacularly vivid daydream, so unusual was this extended period of uninterrupted happiness. He had already run afoul of McGonagall several times for snogging Ginny in the corridors when he could catch her between lessons, and Professor Flitwick had considered Harry's change in demeanour so unusual that he had removed him from class and taken him to Madam Pomfrey on suspicion that he had been struck with a particularly strong and long-lasting Cheering Charm.

Upon seeing the redheaded beauty waving at him from the middle of the Gryffindor table, Harry smiled broadly and strolled over to greet her, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before sitting down to begin his meal. Ron, for once, did not let out his customary warning of 'oi that's my sister', being engrossed in an interminable argument with Hermione that Ginny seemed very grateful to be relieved from having to listen to.

'Morning babe,' Ginny said smiling.

'Morning,' he replied, before gesturing towards the other couple and asking, 'hope I haven't missed anything exciting.'

Ginny sighed dramatically. 'Not unless you're really invested in seeing those two dance around their feelings for each other for the 2,000th day in a row.' This caught their attention- Ron and Hermione's heads both swivelled around to gawp at Ginny, and launched into furious denials.

'What- that's ridiculous- we don't-' spluttered Ron.

'You don't- no idea- how rude,' exclaimed Hermione, causing Harry and Ginny to crack up laughing.

'Oh come on guys,' Ginny exclaimed. 'Especially you Hermione, how long did you spend taunting me about my feelings for Harry?'

'That's different,' huffed Hermione. 'I was trying to help you.'

'And we're just trying to help you!' Harry responded. Then, turning to Ron, he said, 'Seriously mate, if you get back with Lavender I'm handing you over to the Death Eaters.'

Ron scowled. 'You know,' he said, gesturing to his sister, 'she's a terrible influence on you. You used to always be on my side!'

'Well, that was before you stood between him and his true love,' Ginny responded smugly, smirking and batting her eyelashes. She reached out to wrap her hands around her boyfriend's neck. 'Isn't that right, Harry?'

He grinned. 'Well, I don't just snog anyone in the middle of the Gryffindor Common Room, do I?' He leaned in for a kiss-

'Look, a package!' Ron said far too loudly, drawing the attention of several others who seemed unimpressed by his outburst. Ginny and Harry, their moment entirely ruined, looked up to where he was pointing, and did in fact notice something unusual: a large, heavy package was being carried down towards the Gryffindor table by not one, but two owls, neither of whom Harry had seen before. His initial question of who the package was intended for was swiftly answered when the birds lowered the package onto the table in front of Ginny and swiftly took off, flying back out through the windows. For her part, Ginny was equally perplexed, and eyed the large box with wariness, reaching tentatively out to withdraw a letter nestled underneath the bow.

The letter did no more to clear up the confusion. It bore no identifying mark or name, simply the words 'To Ginny Weasley' written in a rather untidy hand that Harry couldn't recognise. The loud thud of the parcel hitting the table had drawn the attention of several Gryffindors who now eyed it with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity.

'You got any idea who it's from?' Harry asked.

'Not really,' she responded. 'Those owls don't look like any that my family have and I can't recognise this handwriting either.'

'Maybe it's a bomb!' Seamus Finnegan suggested, drawing several sharp glares from his fellow Gryffindors.

'Don't be ridiculous,' said Ginny. 'They'd never get that past security and besides, who'd want to post me a bomb?'

'Romilda Vane?', Harry suggested, causing Ginny to snort. By this point nearly all the Gryffindors had taken notice of this mysterious delivery, and were excitedly gossiping with each other. Harry reached out to undo the bow, but was stopped by-

'WAIT!' yelled Hermione. Harry paused. 'Are you seriously going to open some mysterious box from an unknown sender when you know there are hundreds of dark wizards out there trying to kill you?'

'Do you really think Dumbledore would let people just mail Dark objects into Hogwarts?' Ron asked.

'Well, think about what's happened this year already! First Katie Bell, and then you! Hogwarts isn't as safe as it was before, you know.'

'Thanks for that Hermione,' Harry retorted, 'just what I wanted to hear this morning.' He rapped his knuckles against the box and heard a faint echo. 'I think it might be empty, I'm not feeling a lot of weight to it.'

'Don't be silly Harry, why would someone go to the trouble of getting two owls just to mail you an empty box?', Hermione responded.

This was a fair point, as much as he hated to admit it, but he still needed more information. 'Hey, Ginny, help me out with something,' Harry asked, turning to his girlfriend. 'Put your ear to it, I wanna see if it makes a sound.' Ginny did as asked, and Harry drummed his knuckles against the box a few more times. Suddenly, from deep within the box, Ginny heard something- a growling sound, like an animal caught in a trap.

She pulled back, startled. 'I think there's something alive in there,' she said, mouth wide open in shock, to an appalled Harry, Ron and Hermione. Ginny grabbed the letterto take another look at it, and this time her efforts bore fruit. In the top right corner, just barely visible, was the faint hint of a purple logo that had been studiously scrubbed off.

Ginny pointed her wand at it. 'Revellio,' she muttered, and slowly the logo reformed itself. Her eyes widened as familiar hues of orange and purple began to creep into it, until the colour solidified into a very recognisable symbol- two wizards facing away from each other with a large letter W in the middle.

Ginny looked back up and saw Harry about to tug open the bow. She slapped his hand away, ignoring his yelp of pain and loudly crying 'Don't open it!'

'Why not?' asked Seamus, clearly growing impatient. 'Waited bloody long enough for something fun to happen round here.' Then, before Ginny could stop him, he pulled out his wand.

'Diffindo!'

'NO!'

Ginny and Harry were thrown backwards out of their seats as pink confetti exploded from the box, covering everyone in a ten-foot radius from head to toe. A collective gasp rang out through the Great Hall, and everyone turned around to gawp at the debris-covered Gryffindor table. Ron swore loudly and began frantically pulling confetti out of his hair, whilst Seamus simply found the whole thing hilarious. His expression however, along with those of all the Hogwarts students watching this scene unfold, soon turned to shock when the package's contents floated out of its confinements.

The memory of lovestruck eleven-year-old Ginny's horrendous 'singing Valentine' had given birth to endless playful mockery from the other Weasleys, which Ginny had at first found mortifyingly embarrassing but now regarded as largely harmless. Nevertheless, the sight of three pudgy, winged dwarves, whose grim faces clearly showed they were not happy at having been packaged and delivered, emerging from that box immediately plunged her back into the memory of her first attempt to win Harry's affection. These ones however, rather than carrying written cards, were carrying tiny instruments, and accompanied by a pair of Howlers that soon began to speak in the all too familiar teasing tones of Fred and George Weasley.

'Dearest Gin-Gin,' the first one began in Fred's voice, prompting a gasp from the many students who recognised the voice of Hogwarts' most infamous pranksters.

'Usually when we write to you we ask if you're doing well,' intoned the second one in George Weasley's mocking voice.

'However, since news of 'the incident' has already reached us-'

'-we've no need to ask.'

'We're positively over the moon for you-

'-giddy with happiness-'

'-and we thought we'd express it-'

'-in song!'

'Take it away boys!' The dwarves began to strum their instruments, and were swiftly joined by the sound of the Weasley twins' surprisingly decent singing. The students erupted into laughter.

'IN NAPOLIIIIIIIIII', they began.

'Oh bugger,' Harry moaned.

'WHERE LOVE IS KINGGGGGGG!'

'What the hell is this?' Ginny asked, bewildered and angry.

'WHEN BOY MEETS GIRLLLLLLL!'

'It's an old Muggle love song.'

'HERE'S WHAT THEY SAYYYYYYY!' The dwarves paused for a moment.

'Kind of short,' Ginny remarked.

'Oh, they haven't actually started yet, that was just the intro.'

The dwarves began to play.

'When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore,' sang the Howlers, setting off a fresh round of uproarious laughter from just about everyone in the room and deepening the frustration of the couple in question.

'They've gone too far this time,' Ginny muttered, before grabbing her wand, rising to her feet and loudly casting 'Stupefy!' at the guitar-playing dwarf. The little creature proved to be surprisingly agile and quickly ducked to avoid Ginny's spell- it instead hit a candle which fell onto the head of an unsuspecting Hufflepuff girl, who shrieked and frantically started patting herself down to try and get wax off of her robes.

'Come on Harry, help me get them!' Ginny ordered her still prone boyfriend. Harry, by now mortifyingly embarrassed and hoping to end this ordeal quickly, sprung to his feet and fired off another Stunning Spell at the first Howler, which was at the time busy telling the assembled Hogwarts student body just what it meant 'when the world starts to shine like you've had too much wine'. Unfortunately, he too missed his target, though thankfully his simply hit the wall, leaving a scorch mark underneath an affronted portrait of some 17th-century potioneer.

'Oi!' Ginny yelled at Ron and Hermione. 'You wanna help us out or something?' Unfortunately, the pair were preoccupied, Ron with pulling confetti out of his robes and Hermione with breaking down laughing as Harry made a series of futile attempts to grab a dwarf that kept swooping down close to his head. Glancing over at the teachers' high table for help, Harry saw only a bored Professor McGonagall idly flicking through that day's edition of The Daily Prophet and failing to hide her smirk.

'Bells will ring, ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling, and you'll sing "vita bella"', sang the letters, floating out of reach and flying about to avoid another volley of stunners from Ginny and Harry.

'Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay, like a gay tarantella!' Several students had to bat away letters and dwarves that flew too closely to their heads, or duck spells flung their way by Harry and Ginny who were by now getting kind of desperate to make the singing stop. Seeing this, two of the dwarves began to fly directly towards the unhappy couple. Ginny's face twisted into a grim mask of determination, and she got up onto the top of the table, prompting a cry of pain from Ron as she knocked over his glass of pumpkin juice.

As the second verse kicked off, Ginny tensed her entire body as she saw the dwarf flying towards her, and then sprang upwards as if shot from a cannon, determined to grab her winged tormentor. Unfortunately, she missed, her fingers brushing but failing to grasp its chubby leg, and her feeling of disappointment was swiftly overcome by a feeling of looming dread as she landed back on the table and staggered, threatening to lose her balance.

Fortunately, Harry had by that point got up himself and grabbed her around the waist, steadying her and preventing her from tumbling to the ground. This elicited a round of wolf-whistles from around the hall that only made Ginny grow even more furious. She rapidly extracted herself from Harry's grasp, steadying her feet on the table and whipping her wand out once again, tracking the errant cupid as it spiralled round the hall and Fred and George declared that 'When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet, you're in love!'

Harry drew his wand and fired off a Body-Bind Curse at a dwarf flying high above the chandeliers. It missed and slammed against the wall, but could barely be heard over the cacophonous laughter of the students of Hogwarts, watching two of the most capable people they knew be reduced to utter desperation and rage by a group of pudgy dwarves and singing Howlers, firing off spells and circling around each other, knocking plates and glasses off the Gryffindor table to cries of indignation from their housemates. Perhaps, they would later reflect, their enjoyment of it was amplified by how utterly grim a year it had been at Hogwarts beforehand, with students losing parents and classmates to the encroaching darkness of Voldemort. In such dark times, they would take whatever enjoyment they could get, especially if it heralded the return of the school's most beloved and legendary class clowns.

'Scusa me, but you see, back in old Napoli THAT'S AMORE!'

POOF! The cards disappeared in a burst of shredded paper and smoke, spooking the dwarves who bolted towards the heavy double doors and fled into the entrance hall. Startled, Ginny, Harry, Ron, Hermione and every other student looked towards the high table, where McGonagall had just finished idly flicking her wand.

'That's quite enough of that,' she said almost nonchalantly, 'Back to breakfast, all of you!' The students however continued laughing as they turned to each other to discuss this dramatic turn of events.

As for Ginny and Harry, they now stood on top of the benches with their wands drawn and their faces a deep shade of red. Around them, the assembled Gryffindors were pointing and convulsing with laughter, and even Harry would admit they did make a ridiculous sight- wands drawn, standing on the table, covered in confetti, tangled in a tortured embrace. Harry's eyes met Ginny's, and he was taken aback by the fury that burned in them, but his offer of a cautious smile caused her expression to soften and the faintest hint of a smile to appear on her cheeks. Then, she blinked suddenly, looking around as if only now becoming aware of their situation, and her face flushed with embarrassment.

'We should probably sit back down,' Harry offered, and Ginny responded by nodding her head as the pair got off the table and sat back down on their benches. Their eyes met Ron and Hermione's, who were barely containing their own laughter. Ginny glared at them, causing Ron to nervously gulp but only eliciting a self-satisfied smirk from Hermione.

'Hey Gin,' Harry said suddenly, 'I think there's something else in the box!' His eyes had spotted a small paper card left at the bottom of the former residence of the singing dwarves, which he reached out to pick up as he sat down. This one contained no element of mystery- Harry had been marked down in his Transfiguration homework too many times not to recognise the impeccable handwriting of the Head of Gryffindor House, no matter how shocked he was to see it.

'Is that-' Ginny asked, and Harry nodded. The pair looked at the note, which contained a simple, one-line message: I trust this will remind you to tone down your public displays of affection in future.

Still unwilling to believe this, Harry turned around to look at the staff table, where McGonagall was still engrossed in her paper. Carefully, she looked up and raised her eyebrows at the now rather embarrassed Chosen One, in a clearly pointed manner.

Harry thought of a million things he could have said, but all he could do in the moment was offer her a rather sheepish grin before suddenly feeling a strong tugging on his collar as Ginny pulled him around to bring him face to face with her. She was grinning like a madwoman, and Harry suddenly felt rather nervous.

'So, McGonagall thinks we need to stop being affectionate, then?' she asked rhetorically. Ron groaned in anticipation of what was obviously about to happen.

'Well, I don't think that's quite what-' Harry began to object, before promptly being silenced as Ginny kissed him fiercely.

Ah, what the hell, he thought. I'll take another detention.