Her VTOL flared as she came to a halt above the ocean miles from nowhere.
Securing her autopilot, Virgil let his shoulders drop and his head fall into his hands.
Deep breaths.
His 'bird breathed around him.
"Thunderbird Two, report. Why have you stopped in transit? Is there a problem?"
He didn't answer immediately. He didn't want to answer. Couldn't answer. He just…
"Need a minute, John." He waved his brother's signal away.
And closed his eyes.
The throb of VTOL supported his heart.
"Virgil?" Scott's voice.
No.
Just stop.
Need. A. Minute.
He pushed away from the dash as the comms on his baldric lit up, his big brother's worried voice tinny in his ear. Standing up, he unclipped his baldric and dropped it onto his co-pilot's seat.
Where Gordon usually sat.
He spun away only to be faced by the back of the cockpit.
There was nowhere to go.
His name issued from the dash again.
He clenched his fists.
He just needed a minute.
He stepped onto the hatch, grabbed a safety line and clipped himself to his 'bird.
A shove and he threw the overhead hatch open. Wind whipped around him, tangling in his hair as the roar of his 'bird battered his ears. But as he rose up into the cold air, it bit into the skin of his face.
He sighed and sat down on the hatch, falling rather inelegantly more than anything else. Cahelium vibrated through the material of his uniform, though his fingertips.
He closed his eyes.
Atmosphere combed through his hair and cupped his cheeks. The beat of his 'bird echoed his heart and kept it going. And the sound encapsulated him, keeping the rest of the world out.
So he could stop.
Breathe.
Take a minute.
Gordon was okay.
It had been close, but he was okay.
Four had seen better days, but that could be fixed. He was taking her home himself while Scott flew their brother to London and to a very worried Penelope.
Gordon was fine.
Unfortunately, it was becoming very apparent that Virgil was not.
Why a close call like this was affecting him so badly was a question the analytical medic at the back of his mind was desperately trying to ask him. But honestly, he…just…needed…a moment.
He let his sense of touch steal away the terror of his little brother not answering on comms. The roar of his 'bird shook the image of Four crumpling before him on the dash. Yet again. Again. He was losing his little brother again.
A sound issued from his throat, but he didn't hear it.
But Gordon was okay.
He was okay.
Virgil's hands shook as he wrapped his arms around himself and just hung on.
He sat there for he didn't know how long. At one point he realised he was rocking back and forth.
A part of his brain was yelling at him. He couldn't stay here forever. He was sitting on his 'bird, for goodness sake. She needed attention. She needed him to fly her.
But he knew his girl. She was keeping him safe and could keep him this way for some time.
After a while, his mind shut down and gave him some of the peace he was craving. Caught between the roar of his beautiful 'bird and the world around him.
His breathing slowed.
And an arm slipped around his shoulders.
He should be startled. Should flinch away. But there were only two people in the world who could approach him like this and both of them were brothers. So, instead, he turned towards Scott. Because it was Scott crouched beside him, jet pack strapped to his back, worry in his eyes. Thunderbird One hovered unheard over Two's roar not far away behind him.
Virgil grabbed at his brother.
Scott's eyes went wide and his mouth said something unheard as Virgil pulled him close and buried his face in his uniformed shoulder. His brother's helmet clapped against Virgil's skull.
Scott's arms flexed against him, startled, but gripping him tight, nonetheless.
No words made it between them. But Virgil didn't need them anyway.
He just needed…time.
But Scott was anxious and obviously wanted answers. His brother pulled away and reached for Virgil's wrist control.
Tired of everything, Virgil let him have it, and quick fingers had the lift lowering before anything more could be said, verbally or not.
As soon as they cleared the overhead hatch, Scott shoved it closed with a grunt.
The quiet was startling and Virgil blinked, staring up at his brother as Scott turned around and pulled off his helmet.
"Talk to me, Virgil."
Virgil looked up at him with eyes that wanted nothing more than to close and not open for a very long time.
"Is he okay?"
"Gordon? You know he is. Penelope has him. Virg-"
And then there were tears running down Virgil's face and his throat was trying to strangle him.
Arms wrapped around his back, a hand gently nudged his head to a blue-clad shoulder, stroking through his hair, and his brother muttered worried words that tried to comfort.
It was exhausting, confusing and a little terrifying that he was reacting this way. But it was as if his body had taken over and was demanding release.
Tears ran off his brother's uniform, the material ever water resistant.
Scott's fingers were still in his hair, combing gently.
Words bubbled to the surface. "It happened again. I was up here and he was down there and the bridge. All that concrete. So close. So close. I thought he was going to die! Again!" A gasped-in tremble of a breath. "Why? I tried, but…" He pulled away a little and sought his brother's eyes. "Why? Hasn't he been hurt enough? Haven't I…watched enough?"
Scott held his arms. "He is okay, Virgil. He is safe."
Virgil wilted in his brother's grip, chest heaving as if he couldn't get enough oxygen. His forehead dropped to Scott's chest and he closed his eyes. "I can't lose him, Scott. Not Gordy, please not Gordy."
Scott sighed and held him tighter, his voice parched. "We didn't lose him. He is safe."
Virgil heard the words, knew their truth, but he couldn't escape the thought of next time. What would happen next time?
The possibilities leapt up and crowded his brain. But at the same time, he could see no solution.
"Gordon is Gordon." Scott took the words from Virgil's mind.
They couldn't cage the fish.
The thought just wilted Virgil further. This was on him. Gordon was just doing…his job.
A torn sound dragged past his lips.
"Virgil?" Scott's voice was ever so soft.
He drew in a breath. "I'm sorry."
Scott shifted, curling around Virgil as he sat down beside him. Virgil's face ended up nestled into his brother's collar bone.
"Nothing to be sorry about." Scott's tone tolerated no argument.
Virgil groaned quietly, slumping against his brother. Eyes closed, Virgil once again sought calm.
Scott's pulse danced silently against Virgil's forehead.
His brother spoke ever so quietly. "When I came back from…Bereznik…I had trouble sleeping."
Virgil froze. Bereznik was taboo. Scott never mentioned it. No one mentioned it. Topic forbidden.
Because Scott had suffered so much more than just trouble sleeping.
"I tried to hide it, but Dad…Dad knew." Scott swallowed and his pulse picked up, his skin warm against Virgil's hairline. "I had trouble with…memories." Another swallow and Virgil almost pulled away. But Scott must have sensed it and his fingers curled tighter around Virgil's arm. "He caught me in the liquor cabinet late one night." A disgusted noise rumbled through his chest. "I'd had it. I just wanted it to all go away. Joe, Sonia, all the faces." A sigh. "It hurt."
Virgil shifted, pushing himself up. "Scott, no-"
Blue eyes fastened on him and took his breath away. "I know it hurts, Virg." Those eyes dipped. "I see him, too." Scott looked away, but pulled Virgil to his side, holding him close. "Dad saw Mom."
The lump in Virgil's throat threatened to overwhelm him.
"I know you remember. You were there. Dad didn't have anyone to pull him away from the liquor cabinet. I…I didn't know."
God, Scott. Again, Virgil tried to sit up, but this time his big brother simply just held him down. "Listen to me, Virg."
Virgil swallowed and attempted to relax against his brother's side. Perhaps Scott needed to say this as much as he wanted Virgil to hear it.
"I was angry with Dad for denying me that escape route. After all, it worked for him." A grunt outlined exactly what Scott thought of that statement. "I wasn't in a very good place."
The hand on Virgil's arm spasmed.
"Dad said memories are to be cherished. For…every bad thought, there is a good one. We can't choose all of them, but we can choose some." Another swallow. "I think if something did go horribly wrong, that Gordon would want us to be thinking the good ones." A half-hearted snort. "Possibly the ones involving pink dye."
Virgil's lips pressed together. If only it was that easy.
"Mom had the most beautiful eyes. I can still see her smiling." Scott looked down at him. "Don't let her death take away her life."
His mouth dropped open but Virgil said nothing.
Scott looked away. "It's not a magic wand, but it is a start." He straightened. "That and any help you need, Virgil. I'm not kidding. You need it, I'm there."
And Virgil found himself drawn in close once again. Mouth still open, he let his brother hold him.
A moment and Virgil was returning the embrace, clinging to Scott with every heavy lifting muscle he had. His brother oomphed and almost ended up flat on his back. "Virg, god."
Virgil had no words. His eyes squeezed shut, still wet with emotion.
He held on for quite some time. A hand returned to stroking his hair.
But reality and responsibility were always waiting. Eventually he pulled away, ever aware of the rumble of his girl, still hovering over the ocean.
Scott didn't ask if he was okay. It was obvious he wasn't. But his brother did help him to his feet. A trip to the head and he splashed cool water on his face and took just another moment to finally compose himself.
As his mind righted, embarrassment for his conduct began to swell.
But then Two's engines shifted an octave and he staggered slightly as she started moving.
Hurrying back to the cockpit, he found his big brother in his pilot's seat flying Virgil's 'bird while One kept pace outside.
"What are you doing?"
"Flying us home. You need rest."
"Scott-"
"If you say you are fine, I will knock you on your ass. You need rest and home. I'm making both of them happen." He waved at Gordon's seat. "Strap yourself in."
Frowning, Virgil stalked over to the co-pilot's chair and, picking up his baldric, put it aside and sat down. It was much easier to secure his belt without all his tools in the way.
They sat in silence for a while, both just staring out over the ocean.
"Mom was beautiful, wasn't she." The words fell from Virgil's lips with no thought.
Scott's voice was quiet. "Yeah. Yeah, she was."
Silence fell again.
Virgil broke it. "Thank you, Scott. For…trusting me."
"I've always trusted you, Virgil." Scott turned to look at him with the faintest of smiles. "Always will."
Virgil stared back at his brother flying his 'bird. His eyes tracked every line, all the shine and shadow, recorded everything about the man in that moment.
After all, memories were precious.
He might need this one.
-o-o-o-