Well I joined the darkside uh yeah I made a marvel fanfic. Yeah thats how I feel too but oh well. I saw all the reviews for City of memories and City of hell and I'm surprised that the first one had been up for a couple of hours and it had a review immediately and thank you for doing that I'm so happy I love every review either its good or bad.
TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide Depression Rape.
Also the quote if anyone can spot it is from Shadowhunters I may have joined the Marvel Fandom but I will remain a Shadowhunter Fan at heart no matter what.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Marvel Comics or Marvel sorry but I know Stan lee does RIP.
Summary- Steve's and Natasha's daughter dies after she kills her self and when Nat starts to clean out her room, Nat comes across her last diary entry.
Lucie Rogers Romanov has lived with depression for most of her life and being an avenger it was hard but when one day she gave up and jumped off of the avengers tower leaving her parents and her family alone with no reason why. Natasha, her mother, cried for months after she was pronounced dead and Steve, her father, held Natasha and was always the strong one.
"I miss her." Natasha said to Steve, sniffling, he looked at her with tears brimming his eyes and he kissed her.
"I know I do too. It's not fair." Steve said looking at Nat. She rested her head on Steve's shoulder and began to cry, he held his broken-hearted girlfriend and stayed holding onto her until they both fell asleep on the couch. Thor had come down in the middle of the night to get a drink when he saw them and he saw how heart broken they were. Thor woke Steve up telling him to take Nat and go to bed before going to where Lucie was buried, which they had decided to bury her near the avengers tower.
"They really miss you kid," He said looking down at the head stone, "they are broken without you." He finished with his eyes filled with tears, he gave one last look to where she was buried before turning away and going back into the tower.
"You know we have to tell them soon right?" Tony said looking at Thor worried about what he will say.
"What that they have to clean their dead daughters room out for new avengers?" Thor said his voice raising a little bit, Tony looked down and Thor took that as his answer, Thor laughed sadistically before looking at Tony. "They literally just lost their daughter to suicide Stark so no the new recruit can wait a little while." He said before turning back and finish making his tea. Tony sighed before leaving the kitchen and going to his room where he stared at the video recording of Lucie. He pressed play before laying back and listening to Lucie's voice to his daughter Morgen who missed her incredibly. Tony had this recording from the last mission he sent Lucie and J.A.R.V.I.S on the day before she died.
"Hey mom hey dad I love you so much and if I don't make it from this mission please know I'm so sorry." Lucie's voice haunted Tony's room. The mission ended up causing Lucie to loose a kid that she had tried to save and when she failed to save him, she blamed her self, everyone knew it wasn't but she still blamed herself and when she died the next day it was heart-breaking. Lucie was there for everyone when they were ill or needed someone to talk to. She brought light into their lives and when they found out the cause of her death everyone noticed the signs but it was too late. The damage was done and she wasn't going to come back.
Tony was talking to Banner when Nat overheared a conversation about the new recruits and how Tony wanted Lucie's room cleaned out. She stormed into the room and glared at them, with tears streaming down her face.
"You want to take my daughters room, who sacrifised everything for everyone, for a new recruit who won't ever be her. FUCK YOU TONY STARK." She yelled, drawing the attention of Steve and Thor, "You are not touching her room-." Nat couldn't finish because she fell to the ground sobbing whilst trying to stay strong. Steve and Thor both ran into the lab and Steve immediately went to hold Natasha, whilst Thor looked at Tony shaking his head.
"I told you Stark to leave it alone." Thor spoke. Steve looked at him.
"Wait you knew?" Steve questioned. Thor looked down when Steve helped Nat up and took her to their room. The door to the avengers tower opened to reveal Lucie's boyfriend. Bucky stumbled through the tower and almost tripped over multiple things before, finally getting to the living room where, Thor and Loki were talking about Lucie and how she died a hero.
"SHE KILLED HERSELF AND YOU CALL THAT A HERO?" Bucky roared, very drunk, Loki looked up at him with sympathetic eyes. "Don't." Bucky said. Thor sighed before getting up and going to the kitchen to get Bucky a glass of water so he could sober up. "Thanks I'm sorry. It...It's just I miss her so fucking much. It's not fair." He started to cry as he thought about all the good times he had with Lucie. "Why wasn't I enough." Bucky mumbled. Thor and Loki both looked at him.
"What was that Buck?" Loki said, Bucky looked up at Loki and Thor,
"Why wasn't I enough?" Bucky repeated louder this time, he started to cry harder repeating 'Why wasn't I enough.' Loki and Thor both held him as he wept over his dead girlfriend.
Steve was still comforting Nat when she decided to finally speak.
"I don't think I'll ever forget that day." Her voice was hoarse, Steve looked at her like what? "I'll never forget the day she died. I should have stayed here instead of going on that mission maybe then we'd still have our baby." Nat sobbed. Steve whispered sweet nothings into her ear to help calm her down, he rubbed her arms to try and comfort her.
"It wasn't your fault." Steve said, kissing Natasha on the forehead as she sobbed. "Nothing anyone could have done would have saved her. You know how stubborn she i-was." Steve finished.
"Tell Tony we will clean her room out tomorrow but I want time because it's going to be hard." Nat choked out through tears. Steve nodded before holding Natasha until she fell asleep. Steve kissed Natasha on the forehead before leaving her and going to talk to Tony and Banner.
"She said we'll clean the room out tomorrow but she might need sometime." Steve said looking over at his dead daughters room. Tony looked and followed Steve's line of sight and sighed.
"Tell her she can take as much time as she wants Rogers. And I'm sorry." Tony said clapping Steve on the back in one of those 'Man hugs.' Steve smiled slightly before he started to remember.
"Nat fell asleep and she said she wouldn't be able to forget the day we found Lucie like that. I can't ethier." Steve sighed.
-Flashback-
The avengers including Nat and Steve had been sent on a mission to protect a town in L.A from some remaining Ultron bots and Lucie was left alone with John Walker who wanted to be Captain America who was also one of the most hated new recruits. Also who was the one who scared Lucie for life.
"Now Lucie be a good girl and get to your room where you will get undressed. Do you hear me?" John snarled. Lucie looked at him terrified before running to her room and locking the door. She slid down her door sobbing in tears when John started to pound on the door. "LET ME IN NOW SLUT." He screamed, Lucie whimpered as she felt her door start to break open.
She scrambled away from the door heading to the bathroom when John grabbed her arm and pinned her down onto the bed, Lucie screamed as he clawed at her skin getting his emotions out and forcing him self on her like he had done multiple times before. Once he finished and got off of her, after she got dressed, she grabbed her journal or diary as her mother called it and wrote what happened and left the video tape in the diary showing everything that had happened and her goodbye to her parents and her boyfriend. She went to the roof before getting up on the ledge, looking down to the ground, closing her eyes before jumping.
She landed on the grass below her head bleeding whilst she felt the last of her life leave her body, her only regret was not saying goodbye to Bucky herself.
Nat, Steve, Bucky and the rest of the avengers got to the tower and felt something was off when they saw just John, sitting on the couch.
"LUCIE WE'RE HOME." Nat yelled up to where she thought her daughter was, no reply came. "LUCIE?" Nat yelled again. Steve and Nat both ran up the stairs to Lucie's room only to find it empty with creased bed sheets. "Steve she always answers." Nat said looking at her husband.
"I know cmon shes most prob-." Steve was cut off by a scream coming from the outside of the tower alerting almost everyone, Nat and Steve both ran to where the scream was only to find Wanda on the ground crying her eyes out over their daughters dead body. Nat collapsed to the ground sobbing whilst Steve continued to stare at her body, Bucky came out to see why Wanda screamed and saw the love of his life laying there lifeless. He ran over to where she was and held her whilst letting a few tears fall. Tony and Bruce came out when they had heard the screams and Bruce kneeled down and took her pulse. He looked up at Steve.
"I'm sorry she's gone." Bruce said, that was all it took for Steve to hold Nat and let his emotions take over. Thor and Loki held Bucky back whilst Bruce and Tony picked up Lucie and took her down to the lab so they could clean her up and get her ready for her funeral.
Time jump- Lucie's funeral.
Steve put on his army clothes like he wore to Peggy's funeral and Nat put on her funeral clothes, shedding a few tears. Steve held Nat's hand guiding her to one of the seats in the area where Lucie was going to be buried. Bucky, Tony, Thor, and Loki both brought Lucie's casket, that they held on their shoulders, to where she was about to be lowered into the ground when Bucky started to full on sob. Hawkeye switched places with Bucky and they lowered her into the plot. Tony went to the podium that was there so they could give speeches.
"Today was supposed to be a normal day not a day we say goodbye to one of the best Avengers to have lived. Lucie touched a lot of souls and saved a lot of lives, she helped thousands of people, me included but she was always the strong one she had her moments where she would breakdown but at the end of the day she would be fine or act fine. We lost one of the best human beings on this planet, yet we don't know why she never told anyone how bad it was getting. Her last moments we don't know because we weren't here." Tony finished, stepping down he let someone else speak. Bucky got up and started to look at the paper he had prepared when tears started to form into his eyes yet again. Loki got up and grabbed the paper out of Bucky's hands and read it for him.
"Lucie was an amazing person. She would always put down whatever she was doing if you needed her she would be there. She was always the strong one out of her and I, I loved her, she was my entire world. It's not fair she left. I thought that I would come home from that mission and she'd be here so I could get down on one knee and ask her to be in my life forever. This wasn't how I imagined my life would go. Lucie it wasn't your time and I wish I could have been here for you. I love you my sweet doll. Ave Atque Vale." Loki finished whilst Bucky continued to sob. Loki helped Bucky back to his seat when Nat and Steve got up together and went to the podium.
"Nat and I wanted to thank you all for letting us say goodbye to our little girl. As you all know Lucie suffered a lot with depression and it was bad but we always thought she would talk to us if things got this bad." He sniffled, "We lost our little girl, Bucky lost his soulmate, Rhody, Pepper, Carol, Loki and Thor lost a friend. Sam, Clint, Tony and Banner lost a niece, Peter, Wanda, Piero and Vision lost a little sister. Whilst everyone else lost a hero or an avenger. She would have sacrifised her life for anyone one of those mundanes and anyone of us and we would have done the same for her. Nat and I loved that girl we thought that we would have the rest of our lives with her. But once again Mother fucking Nature takes someone we love away from us. Thousands of people who were saved by her still have their life whilst our daughters was taken away because she wasn't happy. There are so many reasons why she loved everyone of us and why she left us. It's not fair." Steve said before he started to cry. Thor got up and took the mic away from Steve and continued for him,
"Lucie was an amazing person, she would always look after the people she loved and she should still be with us. Lucie was really smart and when someone needed to talk Lucie would be there quicker than the Flash. Tony and Banner loved being around her because she would always make it her goal to make everyone smile. I still remember the time when Loki and I had just lost our father and she told us to get up off our asses, to shave and to get dressed because that wasn't what our father would have wanted, as much as I hate to admit it she was right in every way possible. I guess she always knew that she was right some how but she never could brag about it because she wasn't self centred, she was so much like her father and mother in everyway." Thor took a breath before continuing.
"I remember before she was even born and that day we never let Steve forget he said language and when Lucie was born and had stolen Bucky, Steve and Natasha's hearts, we'd always remind him language because he would swear or say fuck infront of his daughter. We will never let you live that down Rogers. In fact if I am remembering correctly her first word was ethier fuck or mum. Anyway she would always say language just like her dad after someone swore but when she did it which was almost never we would all look at her and be like 'holy-'." He laughs slightly. "Then she would always be like, 'um pretend like that never happened?' We always did but now shes gone. Now we have less light in our life. I know that it was hard for Bucky, Steve and Nat to come here, but she would be so proud that you could."
"She loved each and everyone of us. I could stay here for days reminding us of all the good times, all the times she would make us smile. Yet I can't because it hurts way too much. No matter what Lucie, I know your watching over us we will never forget you I mean how could we because you touched every single soul of every single person here. Ave Atque Vale Lucie. Hail and Farewell." He finished the same way Bucky did. The other speeches went pretty much the same and eventually everyone went to sleep.
-Flashback End-
"She shouldn't have died Tony. Something was off because yeah the mission she had lost that kid but she had lost other people before and she was down like she was but she never once thought of doing this. Tony something happened that day for her to want to jump off of the roof." Steve said with a few tears rolling down his face. Tony nodded and looked at Steve before looking away.
"Go get some sleep Rogers, you and Nat will need it." Tony said, practically pushing Steve out of the lab, Steve could tell that he was hiding something but didn't say anything as he was to exhausted to fight. Steve went to his room where Natasha was sound asleep.
Bruce and Tony looked at each other,
"Did the results ever come back Banner?" Tony wearily asked. Bruce sighed before nodding and getting out a sheet of paper which held test results. "So this whole time she was being raped and punched by one of our members without us or Bucky knowing?" Tony whisper-yelled,
"Yes but I still don't know who but we have to tell them." Bruce said sighing. Tony nodded before yawning,
"We'll talk about this in the morning get some sleep Banner." Tony said, making his way to his room. Bruce did the same.
Time jump- Next morning.
Bucky had woken up with a massive hangover but he made his way to make some coffee for him and the rest of the avengers.
"We have to move her stuff Bucky. We wanted to know if you wanted to help because I know theres some photos in her room you wanted to keep?" Natasha mumbled. Bucky passed her, her coffee and nodded.
Steve, Bucky and Nat all got dressed and went to her room looking around one last time before getting some boxes and starting to pack up all her clothes. Bucky's eyes glossed up again looking at all the memories she had captured on film. Natasha was already crying and had to sit down for a moment when she remembered that Lucie kept a diary.
"Steve." Nat said looking at the draw she knew kept the diary. Steve and Bucky both turned to look at Natasha.
"Yeah?" Steve asked, Natasha opened the draw pulling out Lucie's journal.
"We said she never left a note. What if she did and we didn't realise?" Natasha pointed at the journal. Bucky looked at Steve before sitting down next to Natasha.
"Nat lets go into the living room. So in case there is one we can tell the others." Steve said. Natasha nodded before all three of them left the room and sat down on the couch. "EVERYONE WE NEED YOU HERE NOW!" Steve yelled. The other avengers all came down except John, Rhody, Sam, Carol as three of them were out on mission and the other was no where to be seen.
"We found her journal and Nat thought that it might hold a note or something. At least a goodbye." Bucky mumbled. The other avengers all nodded and took a seat next to Nat, Bucky and Steve on the couch.
"Dear Diary, I met a boy well technically he's been in my life since I was born but he was always there for me. I don't know if he feels the same but I know I have feelings for him. He's made me so much happier, anyway my day went better than most days. I didn't see the guy who stares at me like he wants to fuck me everyday. Whoops better not let dad or mum read this. Goodnight signed LRR 19th of may." Nat spoke the words written. Tony and Banner looked at each other knowing that the person who stared at her was responsible for her death.
"Dear Diary, The guy who stares at me like I'm a piece of meet touched me today and everything in me was scared and wanted to throw up. I don't know what to do. Bucky and I finally told each other we love each other, my heart went sky high and I think I know how mom felt when she and dad told each other they loved each other for the first time. Tony I think suspects something's up with me because I'm a little more paranoid than usual. Goodnight Signed LRR 27th of January. This was a few years ago." Nat whispered. Bucky went a little angry when it said that she had been touched whilst she was with him.
"Dear Diary, I'm scared I-." Nat couldn't make out what it said because it was pretty much all smudged. "Raped, Bucky notice...Eye?' That doesn't make sense her writings all smudged like she was crying." Nat spoke confused. Tony and Banner shared a look again which didn't go unnoticed by Thor Loki, and Steve. Bucky realised what she was trying to say.
"Here Nat let me see if I can read it." Bucky said, Nat nodded and passed Lucie's journal to Bucky. "Dear Diary, I'm scared, he touched me again and it felt so wrong because it wasn't Bucky. I'm scared he's going to rape me I know he's raped others before. Bucky noticed my eye today which I got from 'him' I lied to him telling him that I got punched when we were on a mission today. It wasn't. Tony came up to me today asking if I was ok because of my eye again I lied to him. Wanda can tell when I'm lying and she knows I was but she won't tell me. I hope to god that Dad and Mum don't notice or find out because he'll make it worse. Signed LRR 28th of march." Bucky almost snapped the journal in half when he saw that she had been lying to them for years. Wanda almost cried when Lucie mentioned her in the journal.
"Dea- I can't do this anymore. It's been three years since he first raped me. I was left alone with him on the couch again and the way he looked at me and commanded me to go to my room and get changed. I didn't I couldn't. I know if anyone's reading this it's because I'm dead. I locked the door but he still managed to open it and do it to me again like he's done for years.
Mum and Dad, I love you so much I'm sorry for ever hurting you I'm sorry for everything. But I can't stay here anymore. I hope to god that the mother fucker is dead or in jail for what the bastard did to me.
Bucky. Oh god Bucky I love you more than words. I know that you'll be angry with me for leaving and I'm so fucking sorry. I hate having to leave you but you deserve someone so much better than me so much pure so much less broken. My only regret was not giving you one last kiss or cuddle before I die.
Wanda. You were right so was Banner so was Tony. I'm sorry I've been lying to you guys for years but I was scared because I thought no one would believe me I thought that everyone would believe him.
Everyone else. This journal wouldn't be big enough for everyone and I'm so sorry for that, but I love each and everyone of you please don't let it torment you everyday. Please don't let my death- Suicide hurt you because like he said I'm not worth it, I don't deserve anything.
I love you all
-Signed Lucie Romanov Rogers." Bucky finished. Everyone was in tears and Tony and Banner looked away.
"SHE WAS RAPED FOR THREE FUCKING YEARS AND WE DIDN'T KNOW?" Steve roared before punching a wall. Bucky chucked the journal at the wall and a video tape clattered out. Thor picked it up and placed it into the record player and pressed play. Everyone turned and looked at the screen.
"AHHHH PLEASE STOP GET OFF." Lucie cried as John pounded into her. "Please stop." She whimpered repeatedly.
Bucky visibly tensed and they all saw the person who caused Lucie to want to die.
"NO I WILL NOT YOU KNOW WHY BECAUSE YOU DESERVE THIS NOW SHUT UP IT'S YOUR FAULT I'M NOT THE CAPTAIN AMERICA NO ONE ELSE'S." John yelled over her screams of pain. Eventually he got off of her and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Lucie sat there crying till eventually she got up, got dressed and took the camera and turned it off still crying.
"I'm going to go kill that bastard." Bucky spoke already half way to the door. Thor grabbed his metal arm stopping him.
"Calm down. We need to wait for Rhody, Carol and Sam back from their mission then we can go and get him but first we need to give the tape and her diary to Fury so he can get a warrant for his death." Thor spoke, disgusted with what one of the members could do.
"Tony, I told you to tell them." Bruce whispered to Tony. Everyone looked at them, Tony noticed and looked up hitting Bruce on the way.
"YOU KNEW?" Steve yelled, furious with him self, furious that it happened. Thor went to Tony and grabbed him by the throat, pinning him against the wall.
"Ok.. Big guy... Use... Your... Words." Tony struggled out between breaths.
"Brother let him go." Loki told Thor, who surprisingly listened. Tony coughed as he regained oxygen.
"Banner had run some tests when we found out that she had killed herself. We had gotten the results back yesterday. It happened the day she died. Banner and I were going to tell you once we knew who it was." Tony hesitantly said. Steve looked at what he called his best friend and shook his head.
"How long did you think it was going on for." Nat finally spoke. Tony looked down again.
"5 years." Tony mumbled loud enough for everyone to hear.
"FIVE FUCKING YEARS!" Bucky yelled and he punched Tony in his face probably breaking his nose. "YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW FOR FIVE YEARS SHE WOULD STILL BE HERE!" Bucky yelled again, swinging at Tony again before falling to the floor crying. "She could still be here." Thor sighed and hold Bucky whilst he cried and Steve did the same for Natasha.
"Uh what's going on?" A voice came from the doorway. Everyone turned to look and before anyone knew it Wanda had used her magic to restrict his movement.
"We know what you did John." Wanda said sinisterly. John made a smirk.
"Oh yeah? What did I supposedly do? Was it because of that slut that committed suicide because her life was to fucking perfect?" John snarked. Wanda's eyes glowed red before her magic snapped John's neck in half.
Time jump- a year after Lucie died
After the death of John he was placed into the ocean, where he sank to stay there for the rest of his life. Bucky never moved on and eventually drank himself to death. Natasha and Steve eventually moved on and never forgot their daughter. They, even though they were superheroes, they fought for women and men who were raped to stand up against their rapist or whoever did it to them. Tony and Bruce always double checked new recruits backgrounds after they checked John's a second time and found that he was convicted of raping a 14 year old before he joined the avengers. Wanda and Vision had kids one of them had a middle name which was Lucie. Everyone moved on with their lives, expect Bucky, but they never once forgot who brought them light when it seemed to dark. When Bucky saw Lucie again she was not happy with him, but eventually she forgave him and never left his side again. Natasha and Steve ended up having another child who was absolutely nothing like Lucie but they still loved her. Lucie was never jealous when she saw how happy her mother was. She was just thankful that her mother and father were able to move on.
"Come on Nat, we have to get going." Steve called out, holding Izzy in his arms. Nat looked at him with tears in her eyes because she knew it had been a year since they had found their daughter dead.
"I know, I just miss her Steve." Nat said before going into his arms and crying.
"I know sh, sh it's ok it will be ok." Steve said kissing her forehead.
They went to where she was buried and were greeted with the other avengers they all sat around her's and Bucky's graves reminiscing by telling stories and memories about Lucie and Bucky. They lit candles which always took twice to light because Lucie and Bucky always pissed them off by blowing the candles out first. They all fell asleep after going back into the Avengers tower and watching old movies of Bucky and Lucie.