Hi! I won't keep you for too long but I feel like you need to know a few things about this One-shot. Although SMeyer is my Goddess and I pray to her altar every day, I did feel robbed when Bella didn't give Edward a run for his money and didn't kick his ass all the way back to his bedless room in the Cullen mansion in New Moon. So I guess this is my attempt at a fiercer Bella who doesn't take shit from her mystical but dramatic boyfriend.
In all seriousness, I've always wanted to explore the possibility that Edward evoked in New Moon, where he would have returned to her eventually. So in this alternate universe, Bella thinks twice before going to the cliff (because she knows about the vampire on the loose trying to kill her idk?) so Alice does not have any vision and Eddy stays hidden and miserable for a few more months. Victoria takes a wrong turn and ends up dead because she underestimated the ever-growing pack of wolves, and the Volturis decide to get rid of the few vampires already causing mayhem in Seattle. To sum it up, everything is fine and Bella is safe!
Disclaimer: like I said I owe everything to Stephanie Meyer who wrote the masterpiece that is Twilight.
I'm done ranting, see you down there! Hope you enjoy!
A fire. Bits of limbs I could still distinguish. And her hair that could have been mistaken for the flames. I could feel the heat on my face spreading on my cheeks, and the smell was acrid, but I couldn't complain. Victoria was dead.
The brouhaha of the crowd and the principal tapping on his microphone brought me back to where I was. It was graduation day, and Eric was about to deliver his valedictorian speech that he had rehearsed all week at lunch with us. At the corner of my eyes, I saw Jessica fidgeting on her chair; she had helped Eric with his speech -to this day no one understood why- and was nervous of the final rendering. She looked up and smiled at me. I smiled back and meant it.
Ever since Jacob had brought me to the woods a couple of months ago to show me the corpse of my dead nemesis, I had been having flashbacks of the scene, again and again, but until now I had been repressing them, not wanting to face those memories. Talk about a pattern. But as Eric started his speech, I decided that it was time. I was graduating today and was ready to start afresh in Seattle so in a way, it was the perfect moment to put everything that had happened in Forks and that reminded me of them behind, or at least try my best to do just that. I allowed the scene to come rushing back and inhaled deeply, holding my stomach.
"Bella! Bella!" From Emily's house, I heard Jake calling my name relentlessly. My heart stopped at the prospect of what could've happened to put him in such a frenzy. Charlie. I ran outside and met him on the porch. He was not out of breath or even breathing loudly, super lungs and all that, but his face was not what I had expected. Jacob was smiling so big his face was split in two. He grabbed my waist and spun me around before hugging me so tight he took my breath away. But before I could say anything, Jake let go of me and crouched so we could be eyes to eyes.
"She's dead! We got her! She wasn't fooled by the trap we set for her but she tried to take a short cut and that's when we caught her! She must have ignored about Seth changing so he jumped on her and ripped her head off, the cocky bastard won't shut up about it…" his voice faded as I stared into nothing. She was dead. The words meant nothing at first. How could they? I never thought I'd hear Jacob or anybody utter them. She was dead. Victoria. Was. Gone. I felt like… like I didn't how I felt but I knew that it was about to overwhelm me like any strong emotion did these days. I repeated the words out loud, to taste them on my tongue.
"Victoria is dead."
"Yeah, Bells she's gone." Jacob anchored his eyes to mine and it hit me. Without being able to hold them back, the tears started to flow on my cheeks, and I laughed and cried at the same time. Charlie was safe now, so was the pack; I was safe too. The last vampire to had caused me any trouble was gone. The last thought created an unexpected pang of pain in my stomach and I knelt on the ground so I could breathe again. I could also hear Emily and Jake around me but I told them that I was fine. Victoria was dead, how could I not be fine. And then, what Jake was saying started to reach me.
"We would like you to come with me to burn the body."
"What?"
"It would be more symbolical than anything really but we thought that if someone had to burn that bitch to the ground, it should be you. I'm just waiting for the signal about the woods being clear of any remaining danger."
"Like an accomplice you mean?" Asked Emily. Just as he nodded, we heard a wolf howling in the distance. Perfect timing, I thought. I got back on my feet and asked him to lead the way. I was calmer now, somehow, and ready to face whatever was coming next. The pack was right, I was the one that had to put an end to this.
Emily hugged me tightly before we parted and Jake and I started walking towards the entrance of the woods. None of us spoke and I noticed how he let me take my time to process the whole situation. It didn't stop him from trying to take my hand though, but I clutched my middle and pretended I hadn't noticed anything. Now was not the time.
We walked for about thirty minutes in complete silence before I heard the chatting of the boys that had saved my life, in more than one way. I started to distinguish the flames from the camp-fire in the middle of nowhere, bright orange surrounded by the deep green of the forest, and I could already feel its heat. But as I got closer, my vision focused on another fire, just as bright. The blazing flames of her hair were still vivid, despite her head being detached from her body; it looked like her pale figure was already burning. I was in a trance; nothing else mattered but this detached piece of a body. Her neck looked like a fractured stone at the junction and I couldn't dare to look further but instead, I studied her dead features; Victoria's mouth was slightly opened as if still in shock that she had got caught, but her eyes were translucent, almost white, and were looking at nothing. I felt like I was out of my body, and I felt myself crouching and saw my own hand trying to reach for her, reach for anything really. When a deep voice called my name, I jumped ten feet away from the bodiless head and spun around, my heart ready to pound out of my rib cages. Sam was towering over me, his eyes solemn and worried.
"Are you sure you want to do this Bella? Tormentor or not, she looks very much like a corpse now and you don't seem to have seen a lot of those. Do you want to take a minute?" Did I? I looked around to take the scene in. The place where we were gathered was sheltered by the trees but let the light shine through the leaves above our heads, the wood on fire was crackling at the centre and the body parts of Victoria were scattered everywhere, strategically placed so that none of them would touch one another. I lifted an eyebrow and looked at Sam.
"We don't know how their regenerating process works so we didn't want to take any risk by letting anything touch" he explained as he rubbed his neck.
"Yeah, can you imagine?" Interrupted Jared. "we wouldn't want a hand to start crawling towards its arm!" he joked and imitated the movement on Quill's arm, who swatted him away, swearing and tripping backwards. They all laughed at his clumsiness as if it was the most natural thing in the world to be standing here. Only Jake kept his eyes on me and winked, nodding towards a limb.
"Go on Bella, she deserves it after what she's put you through; you deserve the closure."
So I did the only thing that made sense at the moment, I grabbed Victoria's head by her hair, stepped closer to the fire embracing the heat on my face, and in a swift movement threw her head into the flames. It might have been my imagination but I could've sworn I had seen her eyes grow bigger as the flames licked her face and swallowed her.
The cheering of the people around me brought me back to the present and the horrible images faded from before my eyes. Eric was standing tall and proud on the stage while I clapped along with my classmates, some of them crying already. Jessica was blabbering about how proud she was of her speech and I threw a glance at Angela who was sitting a few chairs from me; she winked at me, smiling sheepishly. We would never hear the end of that. Eric got off the stage and the principal started calling names in alphabetical order to give out the oh so valued piece of paper.
I was waiting for my letter to come up, picking at my nails, when a feeling of uneasiness started nagging at me. Goosebumps ran along my arms and I didn't need to look behind me to recognize the feeling all too well; someone was watching me. No. Sitting straight on my chair, I slightly shook my head, hiding behind my hair. No one was watching me, apart maybe from Charlie and Jake who I knew were somewhere in the crowd, and I was just being paranoid. Being tracked down for months by a revengeful vampire could do that to you. But what if she had someone to avenge her? No. the pack would've sensed it if another vampire had been snooping around, I just needed to calm down before going up there or else I would give these people a show, and trip and fall miserably off the stage, in a Bella Swan kind of way.
When a teacher told some us to stand up and get ready near the stairs, I threw a glance around but was too nervous to notice anything. My vision was blurry, my breathing was too fast and I was completely alert. I really needed to calm down now. Taking deep breaths, I pushed the hair out of my face and straightened my back once again. If an evil vampire was waiting in the shadow to get me, they would definitely not do that in front of the audience. Besides, I couldn't quite explain why or how, but I had the impression that I wasn't in any immediate danger.
Was my rational brain trying to overlap my paranoia? Probably. Was it working? I guess it was since the moment they called my name, everything cleared up and I got up there watching my steps. The principal Mr Greene handed me my diploma and mumbled a simple "congratulations Miss Swan" while shaking my hand, but I barely heard him, too focused on my friends from the reservation who were now standing up and cheering as loud as possible from the crowd: Jake had one arm around my dad's shoulders and his fist in the air when Billy was hooting next to them, Jared Quill Embry and Seth were howling, even Sam and Emily had made it and were clapping cheerfully. I smiled at them, bent my head down and got off the stage. Backstage, everyone was crying and congratulating each other, hugging tightly their now ex-classmates. I felt Mike squeezing me against his torso trying to make conversation but he realised that I was out of it so he hugged me one last time before walking away with some jock from the football team; then it was Jessica who embraced Angela and me, crying promises to see each other during summer and to call at least once a week, and then off she was again, collapsing with Lauren on a bench with a couple of other girls. Angela stayed by my side, not bothering to make small talk because she already knew; this graduation was me saying goodbye to the people around me but more importantly to those who were not.
I was silently waiting for the families to arrive when something else hit me and I felt the hole in my chest grow bigger and more painful than ever. Someone was watching me, but it wasn't anybody. However, I didn't have the time to hold on to that thought that my feet lifted off the ground and I spun in the air. Jake turned me to face him, hugged me once more, and whispered "I know what you were thinking about. Don't. The people that love and care about you are the people here today". I smiled apologetically and thanked him; then Charlie hugged me and said how proud he was, and the rest of our friends followed to congratulate me. We then started off towards the parking lot. They were all chatting about the plans for the evening, a feast on the beach to celebrate, but I was having trouble hiding my discomfort and I needed to get out of here before I collapsed in a panic attack in front of them. I told Charlie that I wanted to change first so he could drop me off at home and I would join them later in La Push. Everyone seemed to buy it, that's how uncomfortable this yellow atrocity looked, so we drove off.
On the way home, Charlie was chattering about what we would be eating tonight, but the closer we got to the house, the harder it was to hide the distress raging within me. I could feel my breathing shortening and my hands shaking so I put then under my thighs, desperately looking through the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of something. I saw nothing but the familiar green landscape. Yet, I could feel it; I could feel him, as my lungs had never hurt so much, and my heart had never beaten so fast from anticipation. Getting my keys ready, I jumped out of the car before my dad could even park in the driveway and waved at him without looking back. It was constant, the presence in my back. I entered the house and as I closed the door, my shaky legs gave up under me and my body hit the floor with a thud. That was when I lost it and started talking out loud, perfectly aware that he could me.
"you really have some nerves you know!" I got up and headed straight to my room, half expecting him to be standing there, but how could he, my window was closed. Not that it stopped him before, I thought bitterly. My movements were rushed and clumsy as I threw my bag in a corner of my room, and took off the ugly gown at the same time. I staggered towards the window and opened it furiously, still muttering nonsense.
"what are you doing here anyway? Came to gloat over your masterpiece turned disaster?" As I faced the door to close it, I felt it in my back, the cold breeze in my room, brought along with his presence. Slowly, I turned around to face him. Edward. I clutched my middle waiting for the pain to arrive, but as I held my breath, not daring to completely look at his face, nothing came. I raised my eyes to finally glare at him. How could I not, when he stood there perfectly immobile, waiting for me to break the silence, a wary look on his gorgeous face. Fucker.
"You look beautiful." the words had barely left his mouth that the lamp on my bedside table was out of my hand and shattered on the wall behind his head. Of course, he had averted it but the shock on his face was priceless.
"Don't lie to me Edward I'm a mess." As I talked, more items flew his way. Books "I'm way too skinny to be healthy", alarm clock "I almost didn't graduate", pillows "and my mental health is more than unsteady", shoes "so don't you dare stand here and lie to my face." As I got closer to him, he grabbed my wrists and I froze. Edward swallowed and clenched his jaw but didn't say anything. When I spoke, my voice was much quieter than I had intended and I hated myself for it.
"What are you doing here? What were you doing at my graduation? Just tell me the truth." We locked eyes and his were liquefied gold, just as I remembered but when he finally answered, my breath got stuck in my lungs. He brushed my cheek and whispered.
"I came back for you Bella. I still love you. Never stopped."
My eyes grew bigger and I fought the urge to slap him, knowing it would hurt me more than him; instead, I ripped my hands from his grip and narrowed my eyes. I knew that I needed to get away from him because I couldn't think clearly so close to his body, but boy was it hard to step away. I focused on the anger I felt.
"I thought I'd said no more lying."
"I am not lying, not anymore. I thought I could leave you alone so you'd get a chance at a normal life, but it turns out I'm much too selfish and I cannot endure the pain of being away from you anymore. I'm here to beg you to take me back." He shrugged as if it made complete sense. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.
"Shut up. You're not making any sense." That's a great argumentation you got here Bella.
"But it does make sense, you just need to hear me out" I knew that if I looked him in the eyes, they would be even more convincing than his tone was, so instead I opted for defensiveness.
"Why should I? Really, Edward, I'm not trying to be bitter but the only thing I can remember is your little speech about how undeserving I was of you. I remember every word since they erased everything else. What changed?"
"How could you believe me though? After all the thousand times I've told you I loved you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?" I frown at that. He really did not get it, and it fuelled my anger that he could be so oblivious.
"Because you took all of my insecurities, twisted them and threw them in my face! You went for the neck Edward, you didn't hesitate to use my deepest fears against me, to break me and my faith, and you did all of this without even blinking! So excuse me if I have troubles believing you now."
"What other choice did I have? I was putting you in more danger every second spent with you! We had to disappear so you could realise what you were missing out on!"
"Says you! This choice wasn't just yours to make, it was our future, our relationship that you sabotaged, so the decision was supposed to be ours! Hell, it was supposed to be mine, since it was my future you wanted to protect! But instead, you just went and did what you thought was best, consequences be damned. You had no right to make that choice for me and don't even pretend that you did it out of the kindness of your heart when really you were just scared and ran."
"With what had happened at your birthday, I couldn't take any more risk!"
I laughed, no trace of humour in it. What a condescending jerk! Still, He sounded like dripping honey, somehow, and shivers ran down my spine; it was physically uncomfortable to deny him the relief of forgiveness.
"Oh, my birthday? Do you mean when Alice and you decided to throw me a stupid party? When she literally lit the whole house up with candles, and made me wear this ridiculous dress? And when you let her put me at the centre of the attention after I had repeatedly told you how uncomfortable it made me? Yes, let's talk about that for a second." My hands were flying everywhere, physical evidence that I was losing my mind, and I had this ball of fire in my chest that I needed to be gone. "You were right all along you know? When you said it was your fault. It was Alice's too. The two of you should have never undermined my feelings about this day, and the two of you should have never disregarded my opinion about gifts, and the two of you should have really acknowledged how full of yourselves you could be."
My tirade left me panting. When my face had heated up and my eyes held a fire, Edward's face had grown darker, paler, and his eyes had changed into hard gold. His tone was grim when he finally spoke.
"I knew, hoped at least, that you'd hate me enough to allow yourself to move on. From what I can see, it worked out just fine..."
"You have no idea what I've been through" I spit. And get over yourself I added mentally.
His hand was in his hair and he looked nervous and tense but stood still, throwing glances my way, as if he was ashamed to even be standing in front of me. My outburst had rid me of any violent emotion and I didn't want to fight anymore. I suddenly felt exhausted. After a deep breath, I declared.
"Truth is I don't know how I feel about you anymore. You're under my skin, and always will be, but I've just begun to recover from us, so the possibility of going back to how I was when you left is just not an option for me Edward. I can't go back to being that empty shell when I've just started to enjoy the company of my friends again."
Edward was about to answer but he caught on something else I said.
"And what a group of friends you have..." he muttered.
If looks could kill, Edward would be laying on the floor. My tone was ice cold.
"Is that judgement I'm hearing?"
"Werewolves Bella? Really? They are the most dangerous, versatile beasts out there and..." My eyes were slits and I clenched my fists. He was so biased!
"Oh, they were deadly alright when Laurent and Victoria showed their faces in town."
Edward paled and his eyes bulged out of his head.
"What?" was all he could say. I adopted a nonchalant attitude.
"Don't worry, they're both very dead. Thanks to Jake and his pack, who protected Charlie and me from Victoria's revenge."
For the first time ever, Edward Cullen stuttered upon his words. Bless him.
"Bella I had no idea she had come back here I… I am so sorry! I tracked her down to the frontiers but it led me to somewhere in Brazil when she was, in fact, returning to Forks... I didn't know please believe me..." I cut him short, not believing my ears.
"Hold on for a second, you did what?" All I could picture was him standing in front of Victoria, and for some reason, I thought the image unbearable. Jacob and his young friends tracking her down and coming face to face with her had been at the centre of my nightmares for months and now I realised that Edward had been doing that too.
He looked at me questionably and frown. His voice was deep, a snarl building in his chest.
"I wasn't going to let her live, not when I knew that she would eventually come after you. I was a fool to believe she would keep running instead of coming back here. Bella, I'm miserable at the thought of what could have happened if..." he clenched his hair in a fist taking a breath.
"Nothing happened, no need to get your panties in a twist." I shrugged, but my words didn't help, he still looked somewhat tortured so I came closer, and pressed his shoulder. "Edward I mean it, she's gone and so is Laurent. Instead of feeling miserable, just feel grateful for my versatile friends."
I raised my eyebrows but when he looked up, I was once again sucked into the depth of his gaze. The mood in the room had changed so abruptly and I was not angry anymore, simply extremely frustrated, so there was nothing holding me back from falling this time.
Just then, my phone rang in my bag and the moment was lost. I coughed and searched for it; Jake's name lit up on the screen and my heart stuttered at the thought of him knowing about Edward, but I breathed a sigh of relief when I read his message about food. Throwing a glance at Edward, I could see him studying me intently. He smiled when he caught my eyes on him but it didn't reach his eyes. I had planned on breaking the silence, but he beat to it.
"You seem so certain that eventually, you will go back to how you ended up, why?"
"Well, when you decide to leave again, if I allow myself to get close to you, I know I won't survive it a second time." I replied, fidgeting with my fingers without looking at him.
He didn't say anything and waited for me to look up again. When I did, he locked my eyes to his.
"I am not leaving anymore Bella unless you specifically ask me to. But if you're confused, or still want me somehow, I'll stay for as long as you wish." I did not say anything so he continued, stepping forwards. "There isn't a thing you said that weren't true, and your anger towards me is more than justified. But I can't help hoping you still care a little about me, at least enough to want me around now that you know how I feel; there is still a lot to talk about but Bella, I never make the same mistakes twice, and I'm a quick learner. Just tell me now, are you willing to see me again or is the thought too unbearable?" his gaze never faltered, but he tried to hide how hopeful he was.
The thought that he would not leave anymore was hard to contemplate. There was a time when it would have been everything I had ever wanted, but now things were different. I had repressed so many emotions that it was hard to tell one from the other, and I still did not trust him, or me for that matter. So I told him just that, and that I needed time to decide; in return, he agreed to move at a pace of my own. There was so much he was not telling me, grand declarations of love written all over his face, but we silently agreed that one word about that and I would run for the hills.
I received another message and something came to my mind.
"You'll have to tell me if you intend on staying in Forks, so I can warn Sam. The pack needs to know because of the treaty. I'm sure you understand."
"I completely understand," Edward said, eyeing my phone "I also understand that you need to go, right?" I shrugged and smiled apologetically. "How about this, I will stay in Seattle and hunt somewhere else, to give you the time to come to term with everything, and give me your answer. What do you think?"
He inclined his head on the side and waited for a reply. A little dazzled, I nodded numbly, surprised he would be the one to come up with this solution. I was not going to give in or let him get away with anything too easily, but cooperation had a really good look on him.
He handed me a piece of paper with his number on it and told me to contact him whenever I was ready.
"Right because you blocked me with your other number" I rolled my eyes.
"Actually, I crushed my phone out of frustration within three days. It was probably for the best, otherwise, I would have caved and called you not even a week after."
I chuckled darkly.
"I guess we'll have to disagree on the terms 'for the best'."
When I looked up from picking up my bag off the floor, I caught him smiling to himself, hands in his pocket and head hung low. He then stared at me from underneath his lashes and his smile grew sheepish. Raising an eyebrow, I grabbed a coat and headed towards the door.
"I have to go. Do you know if any other member of your family will be back?"
"No it is just me at the moment, but if I hear from them, I will tell you."
"Okay then, that'd be great." Rocking back and forth on my heels, I was stalling and I knew it. I needed to get out of here before I decided to cancel my plans and spend the evening with Edward. That did not stop me from asking, "When will I see you again?"
He gave me his crooked smile and my stupid heart missed a bit.
"That depends on you, Bella. The minute you decide you want to give me another chance, I will be at your door in a heartbeat."
"Well maybe not at the door, considering Charlie would probably shoot you. That's a good thing you're bulletproof you know?"
"Fine, the window it is then." He stared at me fondly and that was my cue to leave.
"Glad that we settled that! I really need to go, you can show yourself out." so I won't kiss you goodbye. I waved awkwardly and closed the door of my room, but not before hearing a muffled chuckle. Once outside, I looked up. My window was closed, he was already gone. I had a feeling I would see Edward again soon, but this time I would be calling the shots.
Thank you for reading! I wrote that a year ago and just remembered about it and it's far from perfect but I decided to post it anyway without freaking out over every little detail. Let me know what you think in the comments or DMs, I'm greedy for any feedback!
Love, Alice xx