"What do you mean you've lost him?" Kirk cried.
"He just vanished Jim. One minute he was at the bar with me and Chekov then the next he was just gone." McCoy replied nervously.
Kirk slapped a hand onto his face, he couldn't believe this.
He had only stepped away from the bar for a minute to take a call. One bloody minute!
He couldn't believe that between them, McCoy and Chekov had managed to lose sight of their slightly drunk Scotsman.
It was the first time in months that Kirk had been able to have a drink with his three officers.
He had warned the Doctor and the Navigator to keep an eye on the Engineer.
Scotty had an unsafe habit of wandering off when he had drank a little too much.
"This is just perfect!" Kirk muttered angrily to himself.
Kirk could remember the last time this happened, it didn't end well.
"How are we going to find him Captain?" Chekov asked shyly, clearly knowing the Captain wasn't too happy about all of this.
Despite how annoyed Kirk was, he knew exactly how to find his Chief.
"I have a way to find him Pavel and it will work." Kirk replied as he turned his back on them.
"Watch this."
Kirk cupped his hands around his mouth to form a mega phone.
"THE ENTERPRISE IS A GIGANTIC TRASH BUCKET WHICH NEEDS TO BE SCRAPPED!"
Kirk yelled loudly.
McCoy and Chekov just stared blankly at him, did their Captain have a death wish?
Everyone knew better than to disrespect the Enterprise when Scotty was around.
The Engineer was very proud of his ship (him and Kirk still hadn't settled on whose ship it was).
For a couple of seconds it seemed that Kirk's insult hadn't worked.
That was until McCoy heard someone drunkenly yelling angrily.
Chekov turned to see a very unsteady Scotty stumbling towards them.
Smartly himself and McCoy stepped to the side.
They didn't want to be mistaken for being the one yelling.
By this point Kirk had also been alerted to the yelling and he turned to see Scotty.
"Found him." Kirk said smugly as he pointed at the drunk Engineer.
But the smug look was wipe from his face when he saw the anger burning in the Scotsman's eyes.
Kirk quickly threw his hands up and waved them about.
"Come on Scotty! Take it easy! I didn't mean any of it! I love the Enterprise just as much as you do!" Kirk cried as the Engineer got closer to him.
Suddenly Scotty threw a punch which connected with Kirks face.
McCoy quickly grabbed Scotty and with the help of his hypo sedated him, to prevent him from causing any more trouble.
While Chekov went to see to his Captain.
"Are you alright Captain?"
"Ask me again when the room stops spinning Pavel." Kirk muttered.
"Bloody hell that hurt!"
"To be honest, you were asking for that Jim." McCoy said as he held the Scotsman up straight.
Kirk knew he was right, he should have known better than to wind up the Scotsman, especially when he was drunk, so he wasn't too mad at Scotty.
But he was going to have a stern word with the Scotsman, once he had sobered up that is.
Kirk pulled out his communicator.
"Kirk to Enterprise."
"Spock here Captain."
"Four to beam up Spock."
Kirk had a black eye the next day and Scotty apologized about a million times for punching him in the first place.
"It's alright Scotty, I kinda deserved it after what I said."
Scotty tilted his head in confusion. "And what would that have been Sir?"
"I said that the Enterprise is a gigantic trash bucket which needs to be scrapped."
Almost instantly Kirk realised what he had done, Scotty's eyes were once again burning with anger.
"I shouldn't have done that…" Whimpered Kirk to himself.
"You call my ship WHAT?!"
Kirk didn't respond, he just leapt from the command chair and sprinted off the bridge with a very angry Scotsman chasing him while yelling in Gaelic.
Reports came in of the Engineer chasing the Captain all over the ship, until he finally did catch him.
Scotty didn't do anything to Kirk, he just cursed at him in Gaelic and walked off.
From that point on Kirk never talked badly about the Enterprise as he was scared at what the Scotsman would do.