Her and His Endless Beautiful Unfolding Story, a dawson's creek fanfic

Date: 10-15-2005

Dawson's p.o.v

Running back and forth, you don't know your own worth. Your lack thereof bothers me some. Anywhere, but here with me, is your true home. What I can do to make you stop in your tracks? What can I do to make you feel happy and safe? The tiny miracle that you carry might be enough.

Date: 6-6-2006 (nine months later)

Joey's p.o.v

Difficult, labor and delivery has brought forth unbearable pain. "You are doing great. Our son is almost here" Dawson encourages me. With one big push, Benjamin enters the world. The doctor places him in a nurse's care before we can bond with him. Anxiety rises up within me. The word deformity chases Dawson of the room and my life. I wonder whatever I did wrong to deserve this.

Date: 6-16-2006

Dawson's p.o.v

Longing to run and hide away, I push you to the side. I overlook the anguish in your eyes. It's all my fault for the breakdown in communication. My pride is a dangerous weapon and yet I feel strong. Apart of my conscience knows I am traveling down the wrong path.

Date: 12-2-2016 (Ten years later)

Subject: Benjamin (Joey and Dawson's son who has mental retardation)

Joey's p.o.v

I was in love with your father for a brief period. We lived in paradise until his attention went elsewhere. He couldn't handle your special needs anymore. A deadbeat dad, I never wanted this for you. You deserve to be loved and appreciated. Your life is a miracle instead of a mistake. You're all that matter in the world to me these days.

Pacey's p.o.v

You wear a crown of thorns instead of roses. You have been down for so long that you are starting to drown in self-pity. I wish I could get that thorn out of your side. An innocence, as pure and sweet as a kitty, describes you. I will try not to cry or leave you hanging. Dust settles where your last heartbreak took place. I will treat you much better than the ghosts of your past.

Benjamin's p.o.v

A Beloved Special Underdog, my untapped into hidden talent. Back and forth to the Olympics, here we go. Even if I sit on the sidelines, you cheer me on. Racing to the top, it's gradual progress.

Joey's p.o.v

With much care and gentleness, you massage my shoulders. You slowly take my breath away. You almost make me cry. I pray this sweet dream may never end. With much care and gentleness, you have redirected me back into the right direction. Temporary, tonight deserves to be loved and cherished instead of feared. With much care and gentleness, we embrace those with special needs.

Situation: Pacey has moved away without telling Joey goodbye.

Joey's p.o.v

One day you moved away without telling me goodbye. Now I am eternally lost in translation and time. Your apology is not worth a dime. It appears foolish for me to miss you when you will not remember me at all. The wall that you have built between us is enough. Always the same, life goes on for me.

Joey's p.o.v

"Mommy, I need help with the stairs" Ben whines sitting at the bottom of the stairs. "I will carry you to your bedroom" I offer gathering him up in my arms. We have been staying with my sister and her family for a few days. They have provided food and warm beds for us. Ben is quite heavy, but I continue to hold him tightly. One great misstep and pitfall sends us to the emergency room.

Situation: Dawson is there for Joey and Ben at the hospital and afterwards

Dawson's p.o.v

One great misstep and pitfall almost kills you. You beat against all odds. Strong and thriving well, you embrace a new dawn. You will not go down that easily. I love you. Now you see and know how much I care.

Time period: A Flashback

Scenario: An Ultrasound test

Joey (panicky): I am already have one child with special needs. What kind of precautions will I have to take with the new baby?

Doctor: I have detected no abnormalities with the baby. The baby is a girl.

Dawson (relieved): That's good

Joey: I am still on edge

Doctor: Stressed can cause preterm labor

Joey: I understand

Time Period: The Present Reality

Place: Dawson and Joey's house-The bedroom

Special Event: Dawson and Joey's daughter, Leia is born

Action: Dawson lays in the bed with Joey who is in active labor

Dawson (kissing Joey's forehead): I love you

Joey (moaning): First, a wedding engagement. Now this, our baby's birth.

Dawson: We will get through everything together

Joey: Ben?!

Dawson: Your sister is taking care of our son

Joey (struggling through a painful contraction): I feel pressure down below

Midwife (checking Joey): The baby has descended into the birth canal. You can start pushing.

(Joey bears down and pushes really hard. She delivers a beautiful and healthy baby girl named Leia.)

Joey's p.o.v

Slowly, you take my breath away. Once more you open the door to a brand new world. The Lord knows what you don't share with me. Death twirls around us until otherwise.

Ben's p.o.v

I was near to almost being gone forever. You sacrificed everything for my betterment. I wish this carefree happy go lucky feeling was permanent instead of temporary.

Time Period: A Flashback

Scenario: Benjamin's birth

Place: A Hospital Delivery Room

Joey (crying and screaming): AHA..AHA..AHA

Dawson (squeezing Joey's hand): You're doing great, darling!

Joey (still screaming and pushing aggressively ): AHA..AHA..AHA

Doctor (checking the baby's position): The baby's shoulders are stuck

Joey and Dawson (panicky): So What?

Doctor (trying to pull out the baby): Just stay calm

Joey (screaming): AHA..AHA..AHA

Doctor (untying the umbilical cord from around the baby's neck): The umbilical cord is around the baby's neck but don't worry

(When the baby does arrive, an exhausted Joey collapses into Dawson's arms. The word disability chases Dawson out of the room and her life.)

Time Period: The Present Reality

Place: Hospice

Scenario: Benjamin is "in transitioning" aka drawing close to death

Joey (sobbing, she cuddles up next to Ben in bed): I can't live without you, son

Benjamin (dying): I had a wonderful life

Joey: Why must you die young?

Dawson (handling baby Lei): You are so cute, oh, yes you are

Time Period: A Flashback

Place: Hospice

Event: Benjamin's death

Benjamin (closing his eyes): I love you

Joey (hysterical, she screams and shakes her son): STAY WITH ME! I AM NOT READY TO LET YOU GO!

Dawson (struggling to handle both Leia and Joey): Our son is with Jesus now

Joey (resisting Dawson): Its totally unfair. I want to be where he is.

(Flashback ends)

Time Period: The Present Reality

Place: Prison-Visiting Center

Scenario: Joey is visiting her father Mike with Dawson and Leia

Mike (swooning over baby Leia): You are beautiful

Dawson (agreeing with Mike): OH Yes Leia is

(Annoyed, Joey remains despondent. In the aftermath of Ben's death, Joey has been dealing with both anorexia and bulimia. Nobody knows her secret death wish.)

Mike (to Joey): How are you doing, honey?

Joey (lying): I am fine

Mike (growing more concerned): You always say that especially when a tragedy occurs

Joey: Please don't worry about me

Mike (studying Joey): You have lost a lot of weight

Joey (lying): I want to be more healthier

Mike: I did crazy stupid stuff after your mom died. I know Ben's death is still fresh. Do you have a death wish?

Joey (yelling as she throws over her chair): I am fine

Dawson (alarmed): Joey!

(Before Mike can walk out on her, Joey already does it for him. Dawson is appalled by his wife's strange behavior. Leia remains stuck in the middle as usual.)

Scenario: Joey is still struggling with both anorexia and bulimia. She longs to be in heaven with her son.

Joey's p.o.v

A part of myself died when you took your last breath. Like with a balloon, one small poke and hole made my heart to explode with grief. Your time on earth expired, it wasn't a joke. These days Heaven feels so far away and yet close by. I choke on the thought of moving forward without you.

Scenario: Dawson helps Joey through her grief and illness

Dawson's p.o.v

In a world where birth and death coexist, we thirst for something more. We rise and fall with the sun. Safe in your private world, you cry and bleed crimson. The big elephant in the room, your secret death wish doesn't make any sense. Help is on the way so please exhale and be here with me.

Situation: Joey worries and fears she may have cancer

Joey's p.o.v

A secret silent big fear, possible signs and symptoms of cancer. Plaguing me every day, life here on earth without me.

Dawson's p.o.v

Carrying Leia, I discover Joey crying outside on the front porch. She is afraid to come inside the house. The setting sun prophesies great heartache and trouble on the horizon. "Joey, why are you crying?" concerned, I ask my wife. "The doctor said I may need a partial hysterectomy. This means I will be half a woman. I can't have any more children" Joey sobs heavily. "I will always love, cherish, and support you" I promise her.

Scenario: Dawson is waiting for Joey's Surgery to be over

Dawson's p.o.v

An endless waiting game, cradling fear instead of hope. Clear certainty versus doubt, our possible new reality.

Scenario: Recovery

Joey's p.o.v

The Incomplete half of a whole, a missing part of myself. Beneath the scars and stripes, your same old love.

Dawson's p.o.v

The baby monitor goes off and Joey is the first one up. "Let me handle Leia" I insist. "Sure" Joey sighs laying back down. My wife deserves to take a break. She still hasn't fully recovered from her surgery. I am Mister Mom for now. Bessie takes care of Joey while I handle Lei and other household chores.

Joey's p.o.v

Betsy has agreed to go shopping with me. She said her husband and Alexander wouldn't mind if she stayed out longer. I spot various pregnant women and mothers with kids at Walmart. I have a mini breakdown in the women's clothing department. I am sad because I can't have any more children. "Breathe" Betsy coaches me as if I am giving birth. She is kind enough to pay for my clothes and drive us back home.

Time Period: Five Years Later

Place: A Hospital Waiting Room

Dawson's p.o.v

Smiling, a nurse presents baby boy to Joey, Leia, and me. We form an instant bond with our newly adopted son and brother. We name him Langston in honor of Langston Hughes. Langston's skin color in which is brown doesn't bother us. He loves us back in return and that's all what matters.

Dawson's p.o.v

While working hard in my writing studio, I am startled by a frog. I don't know how the frog got here. My screams alert Joey who is busy with taking care of Leia and Langston. Frightened, the frog jumps out of a nearby window. "Dawson, what is the matter?" Joey expresses with great concern. "A frog startled me. Don't worry for the frog is gone now" I assure my wife. "The frog could've been Benjamin's spirit. Ben liked frogs" Joey recounts. "I am writing a script for a new movie. The movie is about our family, with and without Ben" I drop on her. Slowly but surely, she comes around eventually. She allows me to keep and read her journals just in case I need more insight.

Joey's p.o.v

I desire alone time, therefore I put Dawson of our children. Dawson asks where I am going, but I remain num on the subject. He understands I need a break. He doesn't know I have a memorial garden outside in the backyard. I feel close to Ben's spirit here. Sometimes his spirit comes in the form of a frog.

Still in Joey's p.o.v

My memorial garden faces a creek. From this view, I notice a teenage girl rowing her boat in my direction. She looks to be about Ben's age. She must live on the other side of the creek. Quirking, frogs announce her arrival. Confidently, she approaches me and shakes my hand. I receive a positive vibe from her. "Hello, my name is Gwendolyn. You can call me Gwen for short. You must be Ben's mom. Ben was my best friend" the girl introduces herself. "I never knew Ben had a friend named Gwen. He always complained nobody liked him at school" I recount. "I was Ben's only friend. I defended him against bullies. I didn't have a problem with it. Sometimes he felt he wasn't good enough for me" Gwen shares with me.

Situation: Dawson's thoughts on Joey and Gwen (Ben's friend)

The girl who lives across the creek surely knows how to make a grand entrance. Frogs leap for joy upon her arrival. She climbs a ladder to heaven. She has a figure less than Greek, but she is a shining star in her own right. She is not afraid to fight for the helpless or weak.

Joey's p.o.v

The actors performed Ben's birth scene wrong. Ben's birth wasn't easy or smooth. I almost died giving birth to him. Apparently, Dawson didn't read my journals good enough. Dawson can sense my frustration. We talk privately in his office. "I gave you all of me and you let me down" livid, I snap at Dawson. "Ben's birth was very traumatic. I didn't want to relive that horrible experience" Dawson explains.

Place: The Cemetery

Situation: Joey had a friend named Nicole Claus aka Saint Nick that died in childbirth. She died on December 20, 1999.

Joey's p.o.v

"Hello, Jojo" my deceased friend acknowledges me. Saint Nick comes alive inside my mind. Her real name is Nicole Klaus. Tears and hugs replace the words that I struggle to speak. "We were on the verge of embracing the new Millennium. We were going to face Y2K together. We were like Mulder and Scully in that way. I apologize for leaving you five days before Christmas" Nick reflects taking me way back. Nick dodges my questions about her baby. I feel foolish for arguing with a ghost.

Time Period: A Flashback

Joey's p.o.v

Emotional, I fall apart in her arms. "Somebody at school said you were in the hospital. I dropped everything for you" I recall. Gently, she rubs my back. "Honey, I am alright. The baby remains in good health. It was just a minor medical scare" she assures me. She doesn't go further into much detail. I believe her even though I know she is lying. I hug her and kiss her forehead anyway.

Time Period: The Present Reality

Joey's p.o.v

Please come and lay your hands over me. I really do need hope. I want to feel and hear you out clearly.

Place: The Adoption Agency

Joey's p.o.v

"My name is Joey Potter Leery. Nicole Klaus was my classmate, neighbor and best friend in high school. Nicole considered me to be her family. Although I was Nicole's emergency contact, I was kept out of the loop toward the end. Sadly, she died in childbirth on December 20, 1999. According to different rumors and her cousin Stella, she died in childbirth and her baby was adopted. Will you able to provide me with more information about Nicole's baby?" I explain to the case manager. Anxiously, I wait for her to find information about Nicole's baby in the database. I squeeze Dawson's hand in attempt to keep myself calm. "I admire your dedication, but I can't discuss information about Nicole's baby with you. You are not related to Nicole" the case manager notifies me. "I understand" heartbroken my voice cracks. "Off the record, Nicole gave birth to a son named John Christopher Creed. He might be closer to you than you think" the case manager whispers. I tell her thank you and then go home.

Time of Day: Nighttime

Joey's p.o.v

The sound of a boat pulling up to the dock disturbs me from sleeping. I walk outside to see what all the commotion is about. I make out the shape of a young man in the foggy mist.

Joey's p.o.v continued

The vanishing untold truth, whatever I have chosen to believe. Only time knows if you are the real deal.

Time Period: Flashbacks from 4-21-1999

Joey's p.o.v

Accidentally, I hit my classmate Nicolette's face with a ball. "I am sorry, Nick" I apologize. Shockingly, Nick stays calm and quiet. Nauseous, she runs to the bathroom. She sits on the bleachers for the rest of gym class. I hear my classmates gossiping about Nick being pregnant. Nick pays them no attention. She already has enough on her mind. The school bell rings for lunch. Nick exits the building for a moment. I notice her talking to an older man, probably in his early twenties, outside. An emotional Nick announces her pregnancy to the young man. Angry, the young man slaps her and then leaves abruptly. I follow Nick's trail of tears up to the rooftop.

Joey's p.o.v

You were my neighbor and you opened the door to a lasting wonderful beautiful friendship. I was bold enough to love you unconditionally. Who knew you would quietly and abruptly slip away someday? Who knew we wouldn't grow old together? you are gone, I regret everything that I never told you.

Situation: Joey's emotional and mental breakdown

Joey's p.o.v

Spinning way out of control, a mental traffic jam. My drunken rage and outcry, even now it speaks volumes to you. My emotional breakdown, one long epic odyssey, rediscovering my purpose and self-worth. You're true my North Star, a world without war or cancer.

Time Period: A Flashback

Situation: Joey's breakdown during dinner time

Dawson's p.o.v

The night is not beautiful especially for her drunken rage and outcry. Her strange behavior frightens the kids and me. She falls out of the chair at one point. I help her off the floor. "You are acting weird. It is not normal for you to be intoxicated. What is the matter?" I bring to Joey's attention.

Place: The Hospital-Joey's room

Situation: Dawson has placed Joey on a twenty four seven psychiatric hold

Joey's p.o.v

"I want to go home. I can't breathe in here" I shout at the wall. Nothing but silence returns back to me. I punch my pillow as if it is Dawson. I hate him for putting me in this goddamn hell hole. Maybe he assumed I was a danger to him and our kids.

Place: The Cemetery

Situation: Joey had a friend named Nicole Claus aka Saint Nick that died in childbirth. She died on December 20, 1999.

Joey's p.o.v

Place: The Adoption Agency

Joey's p.o.v

Time of Day: Nighttime

Joey's p.o.v

The sound of a boat pulling up to the dock disturbs me from sleeping. I walk outside to see what

all the commotion is about. I make out the shape of a young man in the foggy mist.

Joey's p.o.v

"Nicolette" I shout during passionate make out session with my husband Dawson. Dawson gets off my body ASAP. "Joey, what the hell?" Dawson exclaims. "Dawson, Nicolette and I were more than neighbors, friends, and classmates. We were lovers. The truth is I am Bi-Bisexual" I confess.

Time Period: Flashbacks from 4-21-1999

Joey's p.o.v

Desperately, I chased Nic up to the rooftop. Nic was planning to kill herself. She threw insults and punches at me until she gave into me. She discovered relief through crying and talking to me.

Dawson's p.o.v

I am kind enough to save Joey a seat at the lunch table. Unfortunately, Joey doesn't show up.

"Jump" people shout outside in the parking lot. My peers and I run outside in anticipation to

witness someone fall to his or her death. Joey and another unknown female student are standing

on the rooftop.

Joey's p.o.v

From up here on the rooftop, heaven appears closer than ever before. "JUMP" Our peers chant down below us. I can hear Dawson calling out my name. I realize how much he cares about me. I show the same kind of grace and compassion toward Nicolette. Nicolette appreciates my encouraging kind words. We develop a lasting strong bond. The principal is lenient on us by not suspending us. Besides Nicolette's suicidal attempt, The Columbine High school Massacre shines a light on my own mortality. Dawson carries me through it all.

Time Period: A Flashback During The Former High school Days

Situation: Joey arrives super late for a movie date with Dawson

Dawson's p.o.v

"Hello, Dawson. I am sorry for being late. I was hanging out with Nicolette" Joey apologized climbing through my bedroom window. She sat down on my bed and we almost held hands. I'm speechless, she was something else. We rewatched "William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet" for a second time.

Time Period: A Flashback

Situation: Nicolette joins Dawson and Joey for movie night. Dawson's meets Nicolette for the first-second time.

Dawson's p.o.v

Joey and an unidentified female climbed through my bedroom window. Joey should've notified me beforehand that she was planning to bring a guest. "Dawson, I am sorry for not notifying about Nic earlier. It was a last minute thing. She was having a bad night" Joey explained.

Time Period: A Flashback

Situation: Joey is walking Nicolette home after watching movies with Dawson

Joey's p.o.v

"I am sorry for being an inconvenience. I intruded on your time with Dawson" Nicolette apologizes. "You were not an inconvenience. Dawson understood that you were having a rough night and needed friends" I assured Nicolette. We reach Nicolette's front door and Nicolette kisses me. "Why did you kiss me?" I question her.

Time Period: A Flashback

Place: Dawson's bedroom

Situation: Joey shows up late for a movie date with Dawson

Dawson's p.o.v

"I am sorry that I am late" Joey apologizes climbing through my bedroom window. "You were hanging out with Nic again" Dawson assumes.

Time Period: A Flashback-Possible Dream

Joey's p.o.v

The doorbell rings and I answer the door. Nicolette is trying to catch a Blue Jay. "My pet bird, a Blue Jay flew over here to your house. I am sorry for disturbing you" she apologizes.

Time Period: A Flashback to the fall of 1999

Place: The School Gym

Special Event: Homecoming Dance 1999

Situation: Joey and Nicolette (between six and seven months pregnant) show up at the homecoming dance in the same green dress

Joey's p.o.v

"You stole my look. You look pretty in green though" Nic teases me. "I didn't steal your look. You are between six and seven months pregnant. You are going to embarrass yourself here at the homecoming dance. You should go back home" I advise my friend. "I will only go home if you dance with me" Nic bargains with me.

Time Period: A Flashback

Joey's p.o.v

Time Period: A Flashback

Date: 12-19-1999

Place: Nicolette's hospital room

Situation: Joey's last meeting with Nicolette

Joey's p.o.v

Livid, I stormed into her hospital room. I resented her for withholding important about her health. "I am your friend. I don't deserve to be treated this way" I vent. "I don't understand what you are talking about" she argues.

Time Period: The Present Reality

Dawson's p.o.v

Lost in time and her golden prime years, a wandering nameless ghost. The friend who she cried over the most. Even now all this teenage angst will not go away.