My crimson loftwing nuzzled into my chin. I brought a hand up to the other side of his beak, returning the gesture.
I heard a hum deep in his body, no doubt a happy, relaxing sound.
The sun was falling, and the cool air fluttered around us. My feet dangled off the side of one of the islands that I've found, secluded on the northern side of the skies. It was a small, circular space, with just the remains of some stone structures littered throughout. No doubt some sort of sanctuary for those who prayed in past.
I come here often. After the sealing of Demise and the dawn of a new age, it's been harder and harder for me to keep my head on straight. I keep being visited by nightmares, plagued by an eternal darkness. The visage that has become common for most to see doesn't reflect what I feel in my soul.
Zelda thinks I take regular visits to Skyloft, taking mental wellness checks on our family we've spent our lives with up here. Helping out around town, training the knights, giving the children some hope for their future.
To be frank, I do visit Pipin often. The monster population has drastically reduced since we've succeeded in driving away the darkness, and he is a good way to keep up with my training.
I constantly find myself bored and stressed, feeling a need to fight, scavenge, go on an adventure. With every fight, my focus is on the battle, a way of life I've come to know and master. Muscles aching, body drenched in sweat, that is the only way I've ever come to feel important.
I try not to show my restlessness, but it's becoming harder and harder to feign.
I can feel myself getting into my own head, feeling the strange blackness rise in my chest once more. My loftwing nudges into me again, as if to ask me if I'm okay. Returning his loyalty with my affection, I lay my head against his feathered neck.
"Don't fret, all is well."
My voice was almost lost to myself, let alone my loftwing. Perhaps he was able to hear my tone, or maybe just took a guess on what I said. Either way, I could feel his concern wane, resting his crimson head on my lap.
My green knights uniform was tattered and worn. Zelda insisted that I get a new one, or at least one with less wear and tear, but I politely decline. Something about these battle-torn garbs remind me of what I've slowly become….a warrior.
Zelda was a great healer. Whenever I had fresher wounds, she would constantly force through my pride and tend to my aid. She said I complained a lot whenever she would help, but truthfully, I appreciate the gesture.
My scars are constant reminders of the quest I've gone on, with those memories burned into my mind.
It's hard not to see how different I've changed since I've found out my destiny. I constantly find myself straying away from people I once knew, finding solitude only in my loftwing and secluded areas of the skies I've yet to find.
It was a wake-up call when even Groose noticed the change and becomes worried. He may have once been my rival, but his opinion is one I've come to trust completely, though my pride will prevent me from ever telling him that.
I could sense my crimson loftwing becoming restless in my lap, no doubt because of a storm that began to brew below us.
Although Skyloft rested above the clouds, the winds would pick up drastically and a dark hue would color the surface.
I took to a stand and patted my loftwing, trying my best to soothe him.
"Don't worry, we'll be fine. She'll be fine."
My voice was no less than a shout, which was needed from the winds.
He flapped his wings and took to the skies, awaiting my call to take flight. I took that as my cue to turn in for the night, most likely in my comfortably quarters in the Knights Academy.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, propelling myself over the edge of the island and into the open skies.
The winds whistled in my ears and the cold air bit my skin. The feeling of weightlessness was always one of my favorite parts of takeoff, the rush of the air and awaiting my loftwings arrival.
Bringing my fingers to my lips, I blew out my loftwings call. The shrieking sound was immediately drowned out by the winds, but I didn't worry.
Within moments, a crimson blur swoops down underneath me, catching me from my fall.
Taking hold of his reigns, we charge toward Skyloft to spend the evening, not wanting to combat a waging storm down on the surface.
…..
My room is always how I leave it. Not too messy, but nothing to be proud of.
A musty smell permeated the air as always, filling my nose with a used, worn scent. Dust has settled on my books and furniture, though I don't bother cleaning the room at all due to me only using it for sleep at this point.
My bed croaked as I sat on it.
I grunt and unbuckle the sheath from my torso, letting my sword and shield gently lay along the bedpost. The world may be less dangerous, but that doesn't mean I'll ever travel unarmed again.
My boots thump as they hit the floor and I tear my tunic over my head, leaving me in an undershirt and white boxers. I lay myself along my bed, taking in a deep, strained breath.
Dark shadows were cast along my walls, creating illusions and puppets in my head. The wind caused my window's shutter to noisily smack against the outside wall.
I pinched my eyes shut and took some labored breaths, calming my head from the harsh elements outside.
Trying to relax my body, I attempt to thrust my mind into a place of familiarity and comfort. Back to before my whole world changed, before the Wing Ceremony.
Thoughts and memories of my friends at the academy were flashing in and out of my head, being interrupted by the raging weather outside. If there was one thing that was clear right now, it's that the world around me served as a constant reminder that I was a dying hero; my mission was complete and without it, I served no purpose.
I was starting to grow irritable, either from lack of relaxation, fear, pain, hell if I know.
An immense discomfort was growing inside me, and I wanted nothing more than to feel…. Well nothing.
Pain. Stress. Worry. Sadness. Homesickness. Nostalgia.
Anything and everything was slowly eating away at my sanity.
Why was this happening? Why was I feeling this distressed?
Any comfort that I could find was in miniscule amounts, ebbing away as a deep, unfulfilled swelling found itself home inside my soul.
We won, we completed the mission. We sealed away the darkness and prevented the rise of an ancient evil. Why was it now, in the aftermath, that I feel this empty?
I palm my face and rub the distress from my eyes.
I'm the hero, I'm not allowed to feel this vulnerable. What good am I to the people if the one who serves Hylia is but a broken boy, sailing along in the seas of uncertainty?
I was wrenched from my thoughts when the sounds of my door creaking open filled my ears. I darted my eyes to my door, startled.
"Zelda?"
She stood there, with one of my local garbs on. Her hands were behind her back and she locked her eyes on me. Due to the darkness, I couldn't get a clear read on her face.
I sat up and swung my legs over my bed.
Not sure what my next move should be, I remain quiet.
She took the hint and carefully walked closer.
As she neared, the slight moonlight that was entering my room showed a look of distress on her face, a ghostly visage.
"Zelda-" I start to say.
She took several steps toward and slaps me, rendering me silent.
The sting of her open palm tingled against my cheek, and I decided that now more than ever is the best time to keep my mouth shut.
I shifted my gaze up to hers and was surprised to see tears falling down her face.
I reached my hand out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her down to sit next to me.
She shakes my hand off her but falls in line next to me, silent. Her lips were in a tight line and her eyes shook in place. She had a pensive stare at my face, as if translating every detail into thought.
The heavy air sat on my shoulders, and the smacking of the shutters made Zelda noticeably flinch next to me.
"How'd you know? That I was here, I mean." I start. My voice was low, keeping a hush between us. I kept my hands tightly in my lap, my gaze locked on my table across the room.
She took some time to respond, no doubt trying to steady herself from her tears. I remained patient for her sake.
"Pipin told me." She curtly says.
Shit…
He would say something. Not that I blame him, he's always been a loyal friend. I've divulged him in the events of our adventures, with Zelda being Hylia reincarnated included. It's not a surprise he would find a loyalty to her, even more so than before. Me having trouble finding purchase among my struggles probably sped up the process.
"What'd he say?" I kept my tone stern but soft.
"He said that you take frequent flights around the skies, but you don't visit the town often unless you're there to take up cold steel. Of course, he also happened to mention that you're going through…..something that you keep to yourself and he was worried that you're bearing too much of a burden on your conscience."
I open my mouth to retort but she continues.
"And no, he didn't sell you out. I asked. You're always leaving and it's obvious you're not the same right now. I went to the one person I could trust would know why you've been visiting Skyloft so often. Or, what I thought was often."
I was silent for a moment, allowing her a chance to breath.
So, the secrets out. She knows that I haven't been coming to Skyloft as often as I claim. On one hand, I feel an absolute growing of contempt, discontent with her knowing of my arrangements. On the other hand…a throbbing pulse of guilt deep in my core.
"Zelda, I-"
"Why would you lie to me, Link?" Her voice bled betrayal.
She turns her face to mine, tears stained along her face. Her eyes were a mixture of anger and sadness. I don't know which one ate at me more.
"You lied about helping out at Skyloft. You lied about helping out at the Lumpy Pumpkin. You lied about being there for me at the surface!"
With each sentence she said, more and more tears streamed down her tinted cheeks.
I was at a loss for words.
"Zelda, it's not that easy…" I start to say.
"What's not easy, Link?" She hisses, interrupting once more. "We were starting fresh down at the surface. We were building new lives with new friends, starting a journey that was destined for us. You started disappearing and was leaving me alone. It wasn't even noticeable at first but was becoming more frequent. It's not hard to see a pattern whenever I was constantly searching for you."
Her lips trembled, threatening the onset of more tears.
Every word she said was coated with despondency. Her hands were clutched into fists, her grip so strained her knuckles were white.
"Is it….it is me? Is there something so undesirable that is in me that I don't see? That only you could notice?" She whimpers.
I swallowed a lump in my throat.
"N-no, Zelda. It's not like that, not like that at all." I say, taking her hand in mine. "I….I don't know. I know it's been several months since we've….vanquished our threats, but I guess I'm just dealing with some new threat now…"
"Where?" She yells at me, her sadness being replaced by anger. "Where is this new threat, Link?"
"In here!" I snap back, shoving my index finger against my temple.
She seems taken aback by my tone. I pinch my eyes shut and take a deep breath to keep my composure. Her face flashes between hurt and newfound concern.
"Look, I don't know what is wrong with me. I just feel like….there's an emptiness that's been stuck in my soul and I don't know how to get it out. I don't know what it means."
She forces her eyes to mine, a sorrowful shine bleeding into mine.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
I remained quiet. Her stare was pensive, piercing into mine as if searching for answers.
"Link, why don't you trust me? I could help you. Or at least, try for goddess's sake."
I remain quiet, my pensive stare locked away on the adjacent wall. If a bystander took notice, I'd appear as if the wall was more interesting than her at the moment.
"Link…" Zelda starts again, her murmur in such disarray that I almost lost her voice. "Look at me."
I slowly turned my head to her, meeting her shimmering, blue eyes.
The anger and despair that clouded her gaze was now being replaced by a loving concern, sending a wave of guilt down my entire body.
"Why don't you trust me?" She gently says. Her pensive stare kept me mesmerized.
My heart was lodged in my throat, preventing me from speaking.
Trusting had nothing to do with it. It was…..me. I was the problem, and I had no idea how to fix myself. How to help myself.
"Zelda, it's not that I don't trust you." I start, finding the footing I needed to speak. "It's…..I don't know, we have our own issues down at the surface, I didn't want to drag you into something once more."
A shadow passes over her face, her eyes shifting into something I couldn't understand.
"Link, I care about you, I….love you, for goddesses' sake! It would be as much a burden as helping out a kikwi!"
I took a defeated breath, not letting go of her hand. At this point, it was helping me out more than her.
Her face was slowly straying from being upset, now clearly shifting into a concerned aura. I tried to desperately think of a way to explain myself, to stop her from being upset for my behavior.
"Zelda, please…" I begged.
I felt a shift in my body and realized I was crying. Pathetic, empty tears streaming down my face. A hot trail was left in their wake.
I felt the soft touch of her hand against my cheek and pinched my eyes shut, not daring to look at her. I felt so pathetic that she had to see me like this.
Her thumb gently swept across my cheek, wiping away the tears that have already betrayed my control.
"Link…" She says softly.
I dare not answer. Instead, I listened to her simple call of my name. Listening and understanding the single word that left her lips. The raw emotion entered my head, circling down the dark funnel that has been harboring itself in my mind.
I felt her free hand cup my other cheek, my chin laying in her palms.
Her warmth sparked my heart, feeling it throb in my chest. The tingle of her touch was in a fierce battle with the evil that's made home in my soul, fighting for dominance. Every shaky breath I took was strained from my vulnerabilities.
"Link….look at me." Zelda says once more.
The sad, angered tone that once took hold of her was replaced with a sympathetic, loving one.
I focused on her soothing request and swallowed some discontent, opening my eyes to lock onto her beautiful ocean-blue orbs.
She relayed so much care and concern into my eyes that I didn't even notice that I began to cry again. Her eyes never left mine. Instead, she carefully swept her thumbs across my cheeks, wiping away the hot tears.
"Did you hear what I said before?" She gently says.
Her voice layered a feeling that made my heart pound in my chest. A warm fuzziness coated my senses, something I haven't felt in ages.
Not leaving her gaze, I softly shook my head in her hands.
She moved forward and I felt soft lips touch mine. My breathing hitched, not expecting such an intimate gesture.
I moved my hands up and gripped her wrists, shaking as I reciprocated her love.
The raw, filling emotion she conveyed to me shook me to my core, flowing through me with a warmth that dominated the dark, discontent within me.
She pulled away and I felt that comfort immediately dissipate, a new empty entering me.
"I said I love you, Link. I have for as long as I can remember. I. Love. You."
Each time she says the words, I feel her hands softly squeeze my face. Her loving, caring tone makes it easy to forget that she was just upset. I kept hold on her wrists like they were the only thing grounding me to life.
"I….love you too, Zelda." I croak out.
Saying the words out loud was elating. I felt like I was soaring on my Loftwing high above the clouds, finally free from an emotion that I kept inside me all this time. An emotion that I was forced to hide when my destiny become clear.
After all this time I could finally set it free, no longer needing to fight and contain it. The fuel it added to the fire of despair in my soul was no more.
A small, loving smile spread across her face, threatening to make me cry once more. She must've sensed the distress on my face and leaned up, placing her soft lips against my forehead.
"I promise I'm here for you, Link. Please never forget that. You are safe with me. You can trust that I will never leave your side, especially when you need it most."
I believed her. How could I not? She's my Zelda, the one I've known for my whole life. The one I've risked my life for. She's the only true person that's ever been there for me, and it's only now that I'm realizing how much of a fool I have been for my actions.
I begin to feel an avalanche of guilt crush my soul. For all this time, I've avoided everyone, lying and fleeing to myself across the skies. All I did was push the people who I cared about away. I was so blind due to my own head, and now I see that I've been neglecting the most important person I have in my life.
I truly am a terrible person.
I wrapped my arms around her back and buried my face into her neck, squeezing her for dear life.
"Zelda, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about the lying, about not telling you what was going on, for everything."
My voice was shaky, albeit muffled slightly from her shoulder.
"I should have asked you for help. Or just to listen. I don't….I don't know why I kept running from something I didn't completely understand."
Her hands gently grazed through my hair, helping ease the pain I dealt with. Her soothing touch granted me reprieve from my own mind, giving me the courage to continue.
"Most importantly, I'm sorry I worried you. You're the most important person in my life and it completely crushes me to have put you through distress. You're supposed to trust me and all I did was let you down."
I feel her arms snake around my neck and squeeze into me, the warmth of her body flowing through my soul.
"It's…..true, I was upset. But, it's because I love you, Link. I was worried. And now, I'm here and we're going to get through this. Together."
I kept my eyes closed and focused on her warmth. Her words. Her love. Everything that, for the first time, vanquished the darkness inside.
"Together? It won't be easy…" I say woefully.
She lays an intimate kiss on my temple.
"No matter how hard this new journey is going to be, I'm not leaving your side. You waited for me when our destiny called, and now it's my turn to wait on you. I'm here every step of the way, Link."
Her words caused me to slightly swoon, my nerves tingling. She is the rock I've needed the whole time.
We stay still in each other's arms for what feels like a millennia. Her loving embrace kept me grounded to reality, and I felt a dull humming in the back of my mind. I concentrated on the pulsing light that was dimly lit, trying to shine bright.
It granted me a sort of comfort, a hope. Everything with be okay, in time. Just have to stay the course.
"Link…." Zelda gently calls, breaking me out of my meditative state.
I immediately noticed how drained I was. I gently pull out of her embrace, looking up into her eyes. The blue orbs twinkled, and I felt she knew exactly how I felt.
"Let's get some rest, okay? It's not safe to fly back now, which I'm sure you are aware of, so we'll just spend the night in the academy. I know father wouldn't mind." She adds.
I grip her arm.
"Stay here with me tonight." I tell her, trying to keep my voice from swaying.
Her face softens and her gentle smile never leaves her face, as if she expected this from me the entire time.
"Are you asking me to stay here for the night? With you?"
Her voice was coy, coaxing me with her cuteness. She knows my weaknesses too well.
I drunkenly nod my head.
"I'm asking you to help me. Being….close to you fills me with a warmth and I think….I think it's what I need to fix this darkness."
She leans in and plants a tender his on my lips.
I flinch at the gesture, but welcome it nonetheless.
She pulls away and flops around beside me, worming her way in between the sheets and myself.
"Of course I'll stay here with you, Link. This is perfect for the both of us. Me helping you…" She pauses her sentence and pulls me down, wrapping my arms around her body and pulling them to her chest, squeezing her back against me. "….and you starting to make it up to me for all those lonely nights on the Surface."
Her legs intertwined with mine and she completely relaxed onto me, feeling no doubt content.
The intimacy and warmed flowed through my body and I took a deep breath.
A breath that, for the first time in a long time, wasn't forced. A breath that wasn't full of stress, discomfort, anxiety.
Instead, it was a breath that filled me with love and hope. Hope that I am in the right direction to saving myself.
I wedged my face against the crook of her neck and closed my eyes, the scent of Zelda's hair lulling me into a relaxing sleep.
...
...
A/N: I really like how this turned out, just kind of did my method of "writing things down and winging it to build a story". I have a thought to maybe write a few more chapters or sections to this and make it less of a one-shot and more a lengthier story, but not sure yet. Thanks for reading :)