Olivia peeks into Noah's room, making sure he's sound asleep. She's relieved it's finally the weekend, and is ready to wind down with a glass of wine and whatever she can find on Netflix.
She grabs a wine glass, opens a bottle of red, and gives a generous pour until she hears her cell phone ring. It's Elliot. She's not expecting him to call so late.
"Hello?" Olivia answers.
"This is Olivia, right?" the voice on the other line asks.
"Eli?" she asks. "Is everything okay?"
Why does he have Elliot's phone?
"No," he says. "My dad's been attacked. He came back from work and could barely get inside the apartment. He's bleeding and in a lot of pain and refuses to go to the hospital. I didn't know who else to call...I didn't want to worry my siblings."
"I'll be right there, Eli," she responds.
Olivia calls her neighbor, who had been able to watch Noah a few times in other last minute circumstances. Thankfully, the neighbor is available, agrees to watch Noah, and understands the urgency of the situation.
Olivia grabs her keys and purse and is quickly out the door. She's thankful that the drive from Manhattan to Hunts Point is relatively short, due to the time of day and the pandemic. She tightly grasps the steering wheel, and a wave of deja vu crashes over her. It's just like the 10-13 she'd gotten before her awards ceremony, except she's positive that Elliot is hurt.
After miraculously finding a parallel parking spot on the side of the street, she immediately presses the intercom to Elliot's apartment. "Eli?" she asks. "It's me, Olivia. I'm here." He immediately gives her access.
Olivia tries to calm herself in the elevator ride up. She can't let Eli see her like this - he needs some stability, and God knows Elliot couldn't give it to him right now. She can't imagine what he's going through - first, his mom had suddenly passed away, then he had to leave the only home he'd ever really known, and now his dad had been attacked. It's all too much for anyone to handle, let alone a fourteen year old boy.
She takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. "Eli?" she calls.
He immediately lets her in. "Dad's in the bathroom. He said he needed to clean himself up and not to worry, but he's been in there for a pretty long time. I-I can't lose him, Olivia. Not after my mom. Not after these past few weeks…" his voice trailed off before becoming overwhelmed with tears.
"Eli…" she begins, unable to think of any words that would give him meaningful comfort. She quickly pulls him into a hug, angry that it's all she can provide right now.
After Eli pulls back from the hug, Olivia gives him a soft smile. "I'm going to check on your dad, now, okay?" she tells him. "I'll be right in the bathroom if you need me."
"Thanks, Olivia," he replies sadly.
Olivia walks to the bathroom. Her pulse is sky high, her breathing is ragged, and her eyes are brimmed with tears. "Elliot?" she asks. "Please let me in."
"Liv?" he asks. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"Eli called me," she responds. "Please, just let me in."
After a few moments, the door opens. Elliot ushers her into the small space. "I can't let Eli see me like this," he says quietly and closes the door.
He looks worse than she'd imagined. His eyes are bruised, there's deep gashes on his face, and he's bent over in pain. His dress shirt is crumpled on the floor, soaked with blood. He'd tried to clean himself up - the counter was filled with bloody tissues and bandages - but the blood is still seeping from his wounds.
"Let me help you," she says, grabbing more tissues and forcefully applying the pressure to the cuts on his face. He winces in pain and closes his eyes. He doesn't know what to tell her, and Olivia is too distraught to think where she should even begin. For now, she focuses on attending to his wounds, and cleaning the dried blood with soap and a washcloth.
"You need new clothes," she tells him, after the bleeding was under control.
"They're in my suitcase," he says. "Still haven't really unpacked yet." He pauses for a few moments. "Eli…"
"I talked to him," she says. "He's so worried about you, Elliot. We're going to have this conversation after I get your clothes."
"Hey, Eli," she coaxes, after opening the door. "You're dad's going to be okay. I'm going to get him some new clothes. Do you need anything?" she asks.
Eli lays on his bed. His sunken eyes are fixated on his bright computer screen. "I'm okay," he replies.
Olivia knows he isn't okay, but she doesn't want to push him. "Okay," she says. "Like I said, I'll just be in the bathroom if you need anything at all."
She grabs a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants from his suitcase and heads back to the bathroom. "Here, I'll help you put these on," she says.
"No, I got it," he says. Despite his obvious pain, his pride takes over. While Elliot gets dressed, Olivia cleans up the bathroom.
Olivia rests the back of her head against the bathroom door and tries to compose herself.
"Are you trying to get yourself killed, Elliot?" she begins.
"Liv…" he pleads.
"Don't Liv me! I know you told me to back off, so I did, even though every part of me wanted to help you. Imagine my reaction when I get a frantic call from Eli that you've been hurt. You know, your son, who just witnessed his mother dying suddenly. Who just buried her. Who had to uproot his life and leave the only home he's ever known. You know what he told me? He said he can't lose you, too. Your son just lost his mother, and now he has to worry about losing you too? What the fuck, Elliot?" she rages in a quieter voice in order to not let Eli hear.
"Wait," he interrupts. "Before you say anything else - this is completely different from when you last saw me at my apartment. I was heading back from work, right outside my building. I told Eli to get inside, and then they came from nowhere. Somehow they found me. I wasn't instigating at all. It's not my fault."
She's relieved that he didn't seek this out, but he's clearly in danger.
"You're in over your head, Elliot," she tells him.
"I know, he admits.
Silence hangs through the air as Elliot absorbs the events of the past hour.
"I had a nightmare the other night," he says.
"What?" she asks.
"I woke up and thought Kathy was alive. And I must've yelled too, because the next thing I know, Eli is waking me up and has the most terrified look in his eyes," he says.
Elliot laughs. "I'm sleeping on the couch, because there's only one bed here," he went on. "And I have to watch my son until he falls asleep so I can make sure he doesn't hear me cry. And now, my son has to hear my nightmares, and just witnessed another goddamn traumatic event because of me."
Olivia's taken back. She didn't anticipate this response - she expected anger, some kind of defense mechanism, or for him to brush it off like their previous conversation in the car.
"And you know why I get out of bed in the morning? Despite everything?" he says. "Because I wake up and I know I'll be one step closer to unraveling the hellhole that's been my life for the past month. I wake up, and I have a sense of purpose. When I'm on the job, I feel parts of myself that I had left in New York come back to me."
"I don't know how they found me," he continues. "And I don't know what the consequences will be. But I can't leave this job, Olivia. I'll get a protective detail. I'll move to another part of the city. I'll talk to Eli and get him some help. But I need this."
Olivia is silent, letting his words hang in the air. How is it possible to feel so exhausted, but overwhelmed at the same time?
"I get that. But know trauma when I see it. I've been there too," she says.
She's not prepared to have this conversation - hell, any kind of conversation, really. On the car ride over, she had mulled over the state of his injuries and whether he was physically okay. Given everything that happened, her mind hadn't gone to the emotional repercussions of his actions.
She decides to change the subject.
"Elliot, have you considered getting your head checked? You probably have a concussion. And need stitches," she says.
"I'm not going to the hospital," he states.
"What about urgent care?" she asks.
"I know the signs of a concussion, Liv. I'm not nauseous or dizzy. I don't have a headache. The bleeding is under control, and I'll take some Tylenol before bed for the pain. I'll go out and get more gauze and tape tomorrow to redress the wounds." he tells her.
"Still...just consider it. Please," she begged.
"I'll consider it, but I really am okay right now. Please trust me," he begs.
Her trust in him was unwavering and effortless for twelve years. She wants to keep her guard up, but his eyes are pleading with her, telling her everything she needs to understand without words.
"Okay," she finally agrees.
"What did you mean when you said you've been there, too?" he asks after a few minutes of stillness.
She's startled by his question. She hadn't meant to bring up Lewis, or to even mention herself at all.
"Don't you say another word about that," she retorts. "This isn't about me."
"This entire month has been about me, Liv," he says. "Our conversation in the car...and what you said now…"
"I am not having this conversation right now, Elliot." she says.
"I didn't mean to overstep, Liv. I'm so sorry," he begins.
"You really have the audacity to ask? You're telling me you have no idea what happened to me? I know you were in another country, but you still have four kids that live here. It was all over the news, in every paper, broadcasted on local TV. No one told you anything?" Olivia asks incredulously.
"What are you talking about?" he asks sincerely.
"You're back with the NYPD," she answers. "Why don't you look up my case file?"
His face is etched with pain and confusion. Before he can say anything else, she's opening the door.
She can't fucking do this.
"Goodbye, Elliot. And go see a damn doctor," she retorts. She briefly checks on Eli, who had fallen asleep, and leaves the apartment.