For Irlnewt and prompt 34: "You don't belong here, you never did." With Gordon.
He wasn't meant to hear it. Not that first time. Just about to turn the corner in the barracks to go to the mess hall when he heard his room and team mate clearly. 'Tracy don't belong here. He never will. Fancy pants Olympic gold medallist thinks he's better than anyone else. Bet his pa bought his place here, bet he's never done a day's hard work in his life.' Gordon didn't go and eat that time.
He was never meant to hear them, not at first, but the words were often repeated. Especially when there was teamwork training. They seemed to think that he couldn't be a team player. That he couldn't work.
His trainers were no better. They gave him the worst shifts, the hardest tasks with the worst teammates. After six weeks Gordon came to a startling conclusion.
They wanted him to fail. All of them.
It was his first time home since he had joined. He knew that they were all looking forward to seeing him back, especially Alan, but Gordon wasn't the happy-go-lucky boy who had achieved his dream of joining WASP a year younger than any other recruit. Still, Gordon knew how to put on a show.
Two days after he'd come home Scott arrived on his leave. Gordon was pathetically pleased to see his oldest brother. If anyone would understand what he was going through, surely Scott would. But the second the thought entered his mind he hesitated. Scott told him he could stand on his own two feet at WASP, that he was born for it. Heck, it had been Scott fighting his corner that had persuaded their dad to let him go straight there instead of spending a year in college.
He didn't want to let his brother down.
So the clown face stayed on, and Gordon played at being Gordon, a unique challenge that he found particularly difficult. And every now and then he caught Scott looking at him. It unnerved him. He felt naked under his brother's gaze sometimes, like his worst secret was exposed.
Two days before his leave was up, Scott suggested a hike. Everyone was up for it initially, but one by one they all cried off. Virgil had to run Grandma into town for a special event, Alan forgot that he'd arranged to go spend the day with his friends, Dad had work. John wasn't going to come anyway, so it was just Scott and Gordon.
He felt like he was walking to his doom. Then he shook himself. When did he become so melodramatic? Oh yeah – he was born like it. That thought made him smile, and the pair set off with both in high spirits.
They hadn't gone far when Scott paused for a drink. 'So. When were you going to tell me.' He held Gordon's gaze as his brother squirmed. 'Tell you what, Scott?' Try to act cool. Yeah, that would throw him. 'Tell me you were having a rough time at WASP. Tell me that they were picking on you. Tell me that you were miserable.' Gordon gulped, determined he wasn't going to cry, but then Scott placed a hand on his shoulder and that removed the last of his resolve.
They sat on a small bank while Gordon unburdened himself. It took a while. There may have been glistening eyes – not tears, no. At the end Scott pulled him close and hugged him tight. And shushed him when Gordon tried to apologise.
'Do not think for one moment that you are alone in all this, Fish. My first year training was exactly the same. Hell, even now I get the occasional jibe from someone who doesn't know me.'
'What did you do to get through it, Scott?'
'I worked. Damn hard, harder than anyone else in my group. Have they lumped you with the worst of the group?'
'Yeah.'
'Then this is what you do. You take that group and you lead them. You drill them and drill them and drill them. They are not the worst of the group; they just need more practice and they need a good leader. You take them and you mould them and you become the best goddam group in your year.'
'What makes you think they'll listen to me?'
'Because you are going to give them something that no one else at WASP has given them yet.'
'What's that, Scott?'
'You are going to give them respect. You are going to give them encouragement. And above all else you are going to give them a sense of achievement.'
Gordon thought for a moment. He never thought for one minute that Scott would have had a similar experience, but it made sense. He also was a year younger than everyone else, had achieved a double-first a year earlier than he should have. He offered Scott a smile that was the first genuine one since he had come home.
'Do you think I can do it?' Scott pulled him close again and ruffled his hair. 'Gordon, I have no idea who your teammates are, yet I can say with 100% confidence that you will walk it.'
It was a far happier Gordon that returned with Scott later that day.
Back at WASP training, Gordon put everything he had into following his brother's advice. He requested a room change so that he could be with his teammates, which the trainers were only too happy to facilitate. The three other members of the team listened as he outlined his strategy. They were only too happy to follow his lead.
They began winning events. By the end of his first year of cadet training Gordon and his team were leading and way out in front. When he came back to start his second year he was called in to see the men in charge. He left that meeting with a grin the size of a planet, but he tried hard to wipe it straight off again. It wouldn't do to wander the corridors like that.
As he turned the corner he ran straight into his greatest bully. Carey was lounging against the wall, obviously waiting for him. How he knew about his meeting Gordon did not know. What he did know is the insufferable man was grinning almost as badly as he had been seconds earlier.
'Well, Tracy? Have they. Had enough of you and your smug face?' Aha, so he thought he was being given the push. 'Why, Carey? Are you that desperate to be first?' Carey's fist punched the wall just behind Gordon's ear.
'You don't belong here, you never did.' The sneer wasn't hidden, and the two were almost nose to nose. Gordon straightened, forcing Carey back.
'You know, Carey, you are absolutely right. I don't belong here. You'll be pleased to know that my team and I are leaving.' Gordon waited for the grin to reach its widest before adding, 'that's why we've been moved up a year.'
The look on Carey's face was worth it.