Disclaimer: The Rat Patrol is not my property. They come out to play sometimes, then I send them home.

Author's note: This comes from a suggestion from gadu

Who's Pranking the Pranksters

By Suzie2b

It was a good day in Ras Tanura and it was about to get better. The Rat Patrol had a twenty-four our pass and Hitch had a lunch date with Daisy.

He had showered, shaved, and wore a fresh uniform. Hitch and Daisy had barely seen each other in weeks. It would be good to finally have a nice quiet lunch together.

Hitch was humming softly and he descended the stairs that lead to the barracks door. He had just stepped out of the building onto the sidewalk when, all of a sudden, something fell on him with a splash – or perhaps it was several somethings. He was so startled that he didn't move immediately. Hitch simply stood there, soaking wet, with bits and pieces of colorful latex balloons scattered around him.

When he finally got his wits back, Hitch looked around, but only saw the people walking by laughing at him. Then he realized the "attack" had come from above and he looked up at the roof of the building. Of course there was no one there by that time. Hitch had a feeling he knew the guilty party was, but didn't have time to go after him, get changed, and still meet Daisy. He reached down and snatched his wet kepi off the ground where it had landed, then he turned and stormed back into barracks to change as he muttered, "You're a dead man, Pettigrew."

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Tully left the apartment and went down the steps to go around the building to the street. He was just about to step onto the sidewalk when the attack happened. Water filled balloons fell from the roof directly onto this head, soaking him entirely. He stood there for a moment before he realized what had happened. Tully looked up, but didn't see anyone. Without much thought, he ran around back to where the roof access was.

He didn't see anyone running away, so he quickly climbed the ladder to check the roof. Tully didn't see anything or anyone suspicious, but wondered how the person could've gotten off the roof and away without him seeing who it was. With a soggy sigh, he climbed down the ladder and headed for the stairs back up to the apartment to change.

Tully thought he knew who'd pulled the prank as he grumbled, "You are so dead, Hitchcock."

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A short time later Hitch and Daisy walked into the mess hall for a quiet lunch. Just before getting into the chow line Hitch spotted Tully sitting alone reading while he ate. Hitch turned to Daisy and said, "You go on ahead. I'll catch up."

Daisy spotted Tully. "Okay, but don't take lone. I only have an hour for lunch you know."

I'll only be minute. I promise."

Hitch hurried over to Tully and set across from. In a low annoyed voice, he said, "You knew I had a date with Daisy. Your little prank nearly made me late."

Tully looked at Hitch curiously. "What're you talkin' about?"

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about. Those water balloons soaked me and I had to take time to go change before I could meet Daisy."

"Water balloons? It wasn't me, Hitch. I got hit with the same prank when I came outta the apartment a while ago."

Hitch scowled. "Are you sure?"

Tully nodded and said, "I had to go change cloths before I came here for lunch." Hitch still looked skeptical and Tully made a cross over his heart. "I swear, Hitch, I didn't have anything to do with it. You know I wouldn't mess around like that with you when you've got a date."

"Well, okay, I believe you."

"You better go catch up with Daisy."

Hitch started to stand up, then asked, "Where's Charley?"

Tully replied, "She's workin' through lunch again. I'll see her at dinner even if I have to drag her out of headquarters."

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Things were quiet for the next few days. The Rat Patrol came and went on their daily patrols without having any problems. The water balloon prank was forgotten, as Hitch and Tully figured it was someone getting even for something they'd pulled at some point.

On the fourth day, after patrol, Hitch, and Tully were sitting in the mess tent waiting for Troy and Moffitt, who were checking in with Captain Boggs.

Hitch sighed. "I wish we'd get a real assignment. We haven't seen much of anything in nearly a week."

Tully nodded. "Yeah, I never thought I'd think this war was boring."

"Maybe with what we found today we'll get a mission."

Moffitt walked in and got a mug of tea before joining the privates.

Tully asked, "Where's Troy?"

Moffitt said, "After we left headquarters, he said he had something he had to take care of."

Hitch asked, "What did Captain Boggs think of what we found?"

"He's optimistic that we'll have an assignment concerning the German battalion we found. When those orders come through is anyone's guess though."

Suddenly Tully reached for the back of his neck. "Ow! What the heck…"

Moffitt asked, "What's wrong?"

Tully rubbed the small red welt. "Something just hit me."

Hitch walked around to look at the back of his friend's neck. "Something hit you all right. What do you think it was?" Hitch felt a quick sting on the back of his own neck. "Ow! Hey…"

The three of them spun around, but there wasn't anyone behind them. Tully said, "Watch out, sarge, you might be next." Another small projectile hit Tully in the arm and he saw it hit the floor. He picked it up and examined it. "It's a pea."

Moffitt took it and said with a slight smile. "Seems familiar somehow."

Another pea hit Hitch in the chest. He saw movement at one of the windows where the shade had been pulled down. "There! He's outside that window!"

Moffitt, Hitch, and Tully ran outside and around to where the movement had been seen. Of course no one was there, but Moffitt found a paper straw on the ground under the window in question.

Hitch said, "A pea shooter."

Moffitt said, "Perhaps someone is trying for some payback."

"Payback? For what?" Moffitt gave the private a "you have got to be kidding" look and Hitch said, "Oh, yeah."

One last pea hit Tully on the side of the head. They quickly looked around, but never did find the perpetrator.

A little while later, Moffitt walked into the quarters he shared with Troy. The sergeant was relaxing on his bunk and Moffitt asked, "Did you get your errands done?"

Troy looked at him. "My what? Oh, yeah. Everything's taken care of. Did you fill in Hitch and Tully about what Captain Boggs said?"

"Yes, I did." Moffitt hesitated, then asked, "Have you heard about what's going on with Hitch and Tully?"

Troy smiled. "They did tell me about the water balloons. Did something else happen?"

"While I was in the mess hall with them someone started shooting dried peas at them."

Troy chuckled. "I guess someone's trying to get back at them for some of the pranks they've pulled. It was bound to happen."

Moffitt looked at his fellow sergeant suspiciously. "So you don't know anything about it?"

"No. Why would I? I wasn't there."

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Over the next week Hitch and Tully were both a little gun-shy while on base. They wondered if whoever it was would strike again, but nothing happened. Finally, Captain Boggs sent them out to do further recon on the German battalion they'd discovered while on patrol.

Moffitt was on watch while the others were sitting around the fire on their last night before getting back to Ras Tanura with their findings. Troy asked, "How're the pranks going?"

Hitch said, "Nothing's happened since the pea shooter attack and we haven't been on base for a few days. Why?"

"Just wondering. With all the pranks you two have pulled, why would they stop at just two?"

Tully said, "He's right. We better keep our guard up when we get back to base."

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A few days later, Hitch went to take a shower one evening when there were usually fewer people. He was in luck, as he found the room empty. He slung his towel over the shower enclosure and undressed. He got his bar of soap out of its container along with a bottle of shampoo and picked up his washcloth. Hitch got into the shower, slid the curtain shut, and turned the water on. For the first couple of seconds he gritted his teeth against the cold water before it warmed up. Then he stood under the flow and thoroughly wet himself down. After soaking the washcloth, Hitch took the soap from the soap dish and started rubbing it briskly on the wet cloth to work up a lather. After a few seconds, he looked at the cloth only to find there was no lather. He inspected the bar of soap, but didn't notice anything unusual. Again he started rubbing it against the washcloth … and again nothing happened. It was then that Hitch caught the slight glint when the light hit the soap in his hand. He looked at the bar more closely and saw there was something shiny painted on it. "Is that clear nail polish?"

Meanwhile, Tully was home alone, as Charley was out of town on a mission, and decided to take a shower before going to bed. He figured he could get a few extra minutes of precious sleep in the morning. He grabbed a towel out of the closet and clean underwear out of the dresser, then headed down the hall to the bathroom. After Tully undressed and got in under the water to soak himself, he took the worn down bar of soap and thought absently about trying to remember to get a new one before Charley returned as he rubbed the bar between his palms. He frowned when he noticed that nothing was happening. Tully held the bar of soap under the flowing water and then tried again … still no lather. That's when he noticed the texture of the bar and gave it a closer look. "What the heck? Someone coated it with nail polish!"

The next morning when Hitch and Tully met Troy and Moffitt in the mess hall for breakfast. They sat down with their trays – Hitch next to Troy and Tully next to Moffitt.

After a minute, Moffitt wrinkled his nose slightly and looked at Tully as he asked, "Are you using a new soap?"

Tully didn't look at the sergeant as he replied, "Not exactly. Had to wash with shampoo last night. I was hopin' the smell would wear off over night."

Moffitt smiled jokingly. "It's not a bad smell. Sort of light and fresh."

Troy leaned over a little and took a sniff of Hitch. "You too?"

Hitch nodded. "It would seem that someone coated my bar of soap with clear nail polish. The only other thing I had was shampoo."

Tully said, "Somebody did the same with my bar."

Moffitt chuckled. "At least it wasn't Kool-Aid."

Troy agreed and said with a grin, "Now that would've been down right cruel."

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The Rat Patrol had been out in the desert for nearly a week to find and destroy a German ammo dump. They were glad to be back at Ras Tanura. It was still early in the day, between lunch and dinner, and while the sergeants went to headquarters to report in to Captain Boggs, Hitch and Tully went to get cleaned up so they could have dinner with Charley and Daisy.

Even though they were in different parts of Ras Tanura, the privates worked in tandem. They both had gotten into the habit of checking their bars of soap and, as an extra precaution, checking their showerheads to be sure that nothing but water would come out. Once everything checked out they could undress and shower in peace.

One day, a couple of weeks after the soap incident, Troy entered his quarters to find his roommate Moffitt going through some paperwork. "Sorry I'm late. I stopped by to check the mail."

Moffitt looked at his friend with a smile. "Quite all right. I've only just started." He took the letters Troy handed him and said, "I see you've gotten a package. Would you like to take a minute to open it?"

Troy set the box on his footlocker at the foot of his bunk and said nonchalantly, "Nah, I'll open it later."

That struck Moffitt as a bit odd. Troy was always as keen as anyone to open a package from home. However, he didn't dwell on the matter as Troy sat down and they got to work.

Late that night Moffitt awoke to discover the small lamp on Troy's bedside table was on and the sergeant was nowhere to be seen. He didn't think much of it, as it was probable that Troy went to use the facilities. Moffitt fell back to sleep only to awaken again nearly an hour later to see that nothing had changed. With mild concern he got up and dressed, noting that Troy's clothes weren't neatly folded on the chair and his boots weren't next to it as they normally would be … and the package Troy had received but never opened was missing.

The first place Moffitt checked was the latrine just to be sure. The room was empty and he wondered where Troy could've gone. It could be he hadn't been able to sleep and went for a walk or to the mess hall. Moffitt walked in the direction of the mess hall and kept his eyes open for his friend.

He went into the mess hall and found it empty except for the night crew working in the kitchen. One of the men happened to notice the sergeant and stepped out to ask, "You need something, sergeant?"

Moffitt smiled. "No, I'm actually looking for someone."

"Is he another sergeant?"

"Yes, he is."

"I believe he's here. Come on back." Moffitt followed the young private into the kitchen area and heard a popping sound before Troy was pointed out to him. "He's been there for a couple of hours now. Threatened all of us with court-martials if we told anyone he'd been here."

Moffitt said, "Yes, it might be best if you keep quiet about this." He then walked over to a stove where Troy sat on a tall stool shaking a large covered pot on a burner. He looked down at the open box, the same one Troy had received, on the floor next to the stool. There were bags of popcorn in it. "Late night snack?"

Troy didn't move as he smiled and said, "You caught me. I'd appreciate it if you'd keep quiet about it."

Moffitt looked in one of the big duffel bags that surrounded Troy as he said, "Keep quiet about what? You've popped enough corn to feed the entire base and then some."

"I suppose you've already guessed who Hitch and Tully's prankster is."

"Yes, and it looks like I guessed correctly. My question is why?"

Troy dumped the freshly popped corn into a half full duffel bag. "Hitch and Tully aren't the only ones who can pull off a prank or two. And they aren't the only ones who like a bit of fun now and then."

Moffitt said, "I have to ask. What are you going to do with all of this popcorn?"

Troy poured oil in the pot and added unpopped kernels to it before putting the lid on. "Stick around and you'll find out."

"Well, since I'm up I may as well give you a hand."

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Troy yawned as he sat down the next morning with Hitch and Tully to have breakfast. Moffitt followed behind with his own tray, looking tired.

Hitch and Tully looked at the sergeants and Tully asked, "Didn't you get any sleep last night?"

Moffitt fibbed, "I was reading a very entertaining book and got carried away. Next thing I knew it 3am."

Troy said, "I just had a bad night. Couldn't sleep to save my life."

Hitch asked, "You two going to be okay to go on patrol today?"

"We'll be fine. After all, it's you and Tully doing the driving."

As they headed for the motor pool, Troy said, "Captain Boggs wants us to check out the oasis in Sector A. There's been reports of enemy sightings."

Tully said, "That's Allied territory. Are we going to be chasing them off if we find 'em?"

Troy started to reply, but was interrupted when Hitch stopped in his tracks and gasped, "Oh no!"

The sergeants and Tully stopped and immediately saw what Hitch had seen.

Tully's eyes went big with shock as he stared at the jeeps. He gaped, but remained silent as he started moving again with Hitch right behind him.

The jeeps had been filled front and back to overflowing with popped popcorn. Then, to add to I,t both vehicles had been tightly wrapped in industrial plastic wrap.

Troy and Moffitt joined the privates. Troy said, "Well, will you look at that."

Moffitt questioned, "Who on earth would do such a thing?"

The mechanics on duty wandered over with huge grins. Hitch asked, "Did you guys see who did this?"

The mechanics all shook their heads and one said, "They were there like that when we went on duty."

"Why would someone do this?"

Troy smiled. "What are you so upset about? It's just a harmless prank."

Tully looked at the sergeants' suspiciously as his own words came back to bite him. "Yeah, a harmless prank. Did you two have anything to do with this?"

"We can neither confirm nor deny responsibility."

Hitch was flabbergasted. "You? And the water balloons, pea shooter, and the soap? That was you too?"

Moffitt said in his own defense, "I can only claim assistance with the popcorn."

Tully said, "I can almost see Troy pulling pranks, but you?"

Troy and Moffitt couldn't hold back any longer. They both broke into laughter as Hitch and Tully started slowly around the jeeps in the sergeants' direction.

Troy said, "You two better get started cleaning the jeeps up. We have a patrol to go on."

Hitch and Tully didn't stop, and Moffitt said, "Just remember, we're superior officers to you."

As the privates stalked closer, they smiled fiendishly and the sergeants' decided it would be in their best interest to run.