Some things are easy to see.
Sanji with his cigarettes, Usopp and his constant lying. It's the first thing Nami sees when she meets both of them actually. Sanji holding Fullbody's limp form by the throat, cigarette hanging from his lips loosely. Usopp standing high up on that elevation of field, spinning tales of the great captain Usopp to scare them away.
(Bellmere smoked and lied a lot too)
("Oh I ate earlier. Although you should hurry up before I steal that bread off your plate, my tangerine jam is the best after all!" six years old Nami gasps and eats the whole slice so fast she almost chokes on it)
(cigarettes help with the hunger)
Other things you notice along the way, Zoro continuing to gobble down booze or sake even after their drinking contest ending in a draw. The navigator tries not to think too much on the fact that while he doesn't let her win, he doesn't let her lose either. Or things like how Chopper will hold onto any crew member available as tightly as possible, touch starved.
Some things (some people) make themselves hard to notice, hidden in plain sight.
Like how Vivi was so very pretty and so very nice, how the princess' smile was even more so very pretty and so very nice as she tugged down her Miss Wednesday coat over her wrists. Thin, bony wrists covered in almost artfully drawn whitish lines.
(Nami's mouth falls open, wanting to say something - anything)
She strokes short ginger strands, picturing the pattern of those lines she saw a while ago. Increasing in number the higher Nami's eyes followed them up the royal's arms, darker in color - those are recent.
(Vivi doesn't let her speak, instead she lets Luffy drag her off for some game at the table as the men join the ladies for dinner)
Nami crawls into bed with the other woman that night, kissing the girl's bare shoulder. You're beautiful, she says, strong and loyal and good and inspiring. Vivi smiles, and still doesn't believe her.
(Nami the strawhat pirate screams and trashes that this is not fair, the Nami who knows self hatred stays silent and her finger softly doodles words on the skin of Vivi's palm until the girl falls asleep)
Words like lovely and brilliant and worth it, the navigator smiles at the memory and gives up on trying to concentrate on the navigation book she's reading. It's a funny thought really, how the likes of Vivi and Robin could not stand further apart when they were on Alabasta and yet be so similar. Had the situation been any different, Nami's certain the two would've been the best of friends.
Beautiful in the destruction that was imposed by another's hand, Nami can understand that. Even if for all of Arlong's faults, Nami's destruction is much more self-made than either of the two other girls, much more ugly too.
(Monkey D. Luffy disagrees)
(only ever Nami disagrees with him disagreeing - it goes as well as anyone who's ever gotten a glimpse of Luffy's ocean-deep stubbornness might think)
She will never win against her captain.
Losing has never been so pleasant, it takes ahold of her again just at the thought of it. The toe-curling affection she holds for this boy who has his arms wrapped two, three, four times around her.
Right, she's alone right now. It happens sometimes, for her to lose sense of her surroundings. She hides the confusion by blaming Luffy usually, too bad none of her crewmates believe her - especially not after the gold coins she snatched out of Usopp's pockets earlier.
"Our dear cook is waiting for us," Robin's fingers are cold as they splay on her naked shoulder. "You've already planned our budget for the next island, let's go eat before we break that poor man's heart in half."
Nami tries not to smile, calling the girl devious. The archeologist raises a brow, helping her up delicately. "I would argue you're worse than me, I know you're the one who helped Sanji switch my medication for a lower dosage."
"Medication that you certainly weren't prescribed, the same one that stops you from sleeping, and just so you know, it was Chopper's idea." Nico Robin is a calm and collected woman, one who would've snapped the spine of anyone who tried to do something like that only months ago.
Then again, nobody had ever cared about her enough to get rid of her nasty habits, not after Ohara.
Franky is a whole other can of worms, with his unusual attire and loud voice. He treats his own little nasty habit with humor or dismissal, he makes it easy for people to forget his robotic enhanced self is made by his own hand. (oh, that's familiar)
That to piece himself back together it had to be broken into numerous little shards, like many things, it is not healthy.
"Nami-swan! Robin-chwan!" pink lips fall into a dangerous pout at Sanji's dramatics, she's pretty sure his sudden heart attack is just a way of messing with her...probably. "Have a seat!"
Sanji doesn't initiate contact, despite his flailing limbs around them. Nami quirks her lips into a smile and grabs his arm with her own to lean up and kiss his cheek. Robin sends the cook a grateful smile as she sits elegantly next to an excited Chopper, the woman softly pats his furry head a bit with her own two hands - months ago she preferred to use her devil fruit ones.
Yes, Nami thinks fondly, affection has many forms.
"Ero-cook," Zoro snorts as Sanji retorts something witty. Luffy wraps rubbery limbs around their necks with a wide grin, one of them narrowly missing Usopp's sharp nose and actually ramming into Franky's cola.
"Not cool!"
They're actually quite the sad bunch, now that she thinks about it. How they're broken pieces just trying to fit together, following the sun in human form. (star stuff and sea breeze and freedom)
(she loves it, she loves them all together)
Luffy just like Franky makes it hard to see, the layers of trauma and experience. Nami's perceptive, and highly ashamed she did not notice any sooner.
Her captain who is so good, so bright and warm when he throws his arms around her tightly, as if afraid she'd disappear. Despite this, she knows Luffy is not some saint, no he is good and nice and everything in between while still being a pirate. Luffy is petty and not often merciful. He has this thing, this instinct about people.
It's never been wrong. Even when it came close with her cat burglar self, he never doubted her.
(she's hiding behind a large barrel when it happens, a man reaches for his gun on the ground. Zoro is too busy to notice, the man's neck twists so very easily, the sound of bones cracking startling her, the breath leaves her at once)
The people she's eating with are good people, good people with sins and blood on their hands. They don't make a habit to wash it off.
(then comes the anger because how dare he make her believe him to be different, to be better, that he might actually save her, to-)
(dark eyes widen in pure fright when she sees a blade swing for the boy's neck)
Nami snatches Zoro's beer and pretends not to see him smirk when she makes a show of herself, allowing Luffy to drag her into the single most informal and ugliest dance she can think of. She remembers when it was just the three of them, then it was the four of them, then-
The navigator is selfish, terribly so and she did not know she could hold so much place in her heart. She genuinely did not know.
(it takes her less than a second to react, not caring Zoro was already ready to strike the man down, not caring that Luffy could very well defend himself better than she ever could)
(she reacts, she reaches and-)
She goes to follow Robin who just now slipped away, decides against it when Usopp is faster than she is.
(the man's skull shatters at the first blow, she still hits again and again until brain matter dirties her shoes)
Nami still does not know what that intense look towards the metal pipe meant in her hands, that's fine. She does not know every part of her captain, but she loves every part of him. From what has become so familiar to the unknown. That's probably unhealthy too, this endless devotion she has for the boy.
An addict in the making, drunk on the happiness she feels with him on this ship.
(Zoro looks troubled, not because of the mess of flesh he almost steps on but because of his newfound respect for the witch...her empty eyes as she looks at the mangled corpse look so much like his own that he averts his own eyes)
(he unknowingly allows her to believe it to be disgust towards her)
Luffy frowns when she doesn't speak for a whole day, eventually falling silent after hours spent talking her ears off. He doesn't sing, more like hums something deep inside his chest once she's settled over him, her back to his warm front and her legs thrown over his.
She does not fight his hold, fingers brushing her neck as they play with the tips of her hair. Eventually, once she's done crying, she sees clear again and goes back to arguing with Zoro and hitting Luffy when he gets too loud and annoying.
(something still shifts in their dynamic, her thoughts of betrayal and stealing and Arlong become lies)
And so, while she does not understand everything yet, Nami understands these people enough.
Enough to stop trying to shy away from Luffy and Chopper's affection - they need it, they really do. Enough to be careful to leave Robin space and to buy the girl different herbal teas when they go to get provisions on whatever island.
She shares a drink with Zoro most nights, then another until the both of them somehow end up falling asleep on the cold hard floor. She learns to enjoy Usopp's stories, one has got to appreciate his boundless imagination after all.
"Franky already went to drag Chopper out of the infirmary, you should go sleep." Nami is stopped in her track, just as she takes the last stair leading to the upper deck. She frowns, "Zoro's the one on watch duty."
Sanji snorts, taking his cigarette off the ashtray on the ground from his place on the wooden surface, legs extended in front of him. "Idiot fell asleep," there's two or three bottles of sake around the man when she finds him, sprawled like an overgrown cat on the wooden surface.
Nami huffs and cleans the place up, covering Zoro with a blanket. Satisfied when the boy's naked torso is less exposed to the cold air, she leaves on her next mission and goes back to the cook. She slides down next to him, they don't talk.
She much prefers to let him get lost in thoughts and to lay her head on his shoulder. His mouth parts, cheeks flushing and Nami's eyes roll to the back of her head with a fond smile. "You wake up so early to cook for us, go to sleep Sanji."
He objects firmly, dragging his eyes away from her.
She snatches a cigarette from the pack that sat on the other side of him, having to reach over him. Nami knows she will not win this argument, but she still tries.
The stars shine above their heads through the smoke so very beautifully, the way they only do in Paradise when the weather is nice. His side is warm against hers, the material of his suit soft.
She wakes up tucked in her bed to the sight of Robin reading a book, one Nami would bet she spent the entire night reading.
(troublesome girl)
(why must I love you so)
She sighs and gets up for she has work to do, something flutters inside her stomach. Something fond and entirely too familiar.