Bludgers and Beaters
[Trans Lives Matter]
Azumane Asahi likes the simple things in life. He likes walking the Hogwarts grounds at sunset, playing Quidditch with his team, and spending time with his friends. What he doesn't like are things that make his anxiety spike, like end-of-year exams, or when Hinata does dangerous tricks on his broom, or talking to Slytherin Quidditch Captain and fellow beater Ushijima Wakatoshi.
It's not that he dislikes Ushijima. It's just that Ushijima carries himself with a presence you can actually feel. His stare is always focused and stern, and Asahi doesn't know if he's ever seen the man smile. He's always been incredibly nervous around Ushijima ever since they were first years and paired together for a project in History of Magic.
Which is why it's incredibly distressing for him to wake up in the Hospital Wing to find Ushijima sitting at his bedside and staring at him with those dark, intense eyes.
"Gah!" Asahi exclaims once his sleep- and potion-addled brain fully processes the man's presence beside him. "I, uh—you—what did—"
"Hufflepuff won," Ushijima says in his deep bass voice.
Asahi blinks at him for a moment, then remembers he'd been playing a Quidditch game before winding up here. "Oh, right. Well, that's good." When Ushijima doesn't say anything, Asahi stammers out, "I-I mean, for Hufflepuff. Good for Hufflepuff, obviously not good for Ravenclaw, cause—well, nothing against Ravenclaw, but we—"
"Are you alright?" Ushijima asks with a nod at Asahi's arm.
Asahi lifts his right arm and flexes the hand and fingers and wrist. Nobody would be able to tell that only a little while before his hand had been smashed to bits by a Bludger. Asahi had been racing forward after the Bludger, which was careening straight for Inuoka with the Quaffle, but he overestimated the distance and ended up catching the iron ball with his wrist and palm instead of his bat. He passed out from the pain, and now he's here.
"Good as new," Asahi replies. "Iwaizumi's got a mean swing."
Ushijima nods in agreement.
"You, uh…you face them next, right? In February?" Asahi asks when the Slytherin Captain fails to continue the conversation.
"Yes," Ushijima says. "Oikawa keeps sending me threatening owls."
"That sounds like him."
"Yes," Ushijima says again. "I think he should've been in Slytherin."
Asahi lets out a startled laugh because it's funny to imagine Oikawa and Ushijima in the same House, but also he can't be sure Ushijima meant it to be a joke. It was said with the same straightforward tone he uses in all his speech. But Asahi thinks he detects a slight crinkling of amusement at the corners of Ushijima's eyes, and he smiles.
It feels comfortable between them for a moment, but then the moment stretches and neither of them say anything more. Asahi wonders not for the first time since waking up why Ushijima is here in the first place. He's slightly offended that his team isn't here to check on him if the game is over, but they're probably celebrating in the common room, and anyway a few broken bones aren't anything to really be worried over. Asahi will be joining the festivities once the hospital matron comes by to release him.
"Are you going to attend the ball?" Ushijima asks suddenly.
"The…oh! The ball!" Asahi exclaims, understanding that Ushijima is referring to the annual winter solstice ball. "Yes, I was planning on it."
"Do you have a partner yet?"
"…no?" Asahi replies. "Us guys from the team without dates usually go as a group, so I figure—"
"Would you like to accompany me?"
Asahi's throat dries up, and he thinks he must have Wrackspurts in his ears because there's no way that Ushijima Wakatoshi is asking him out to the Winter Ball. But the longer he waits and stares, the more Ushijima's jaw flexes and his eyes darken until Asahi finally realizes he's being incredibly rude.
"Y-yes!" Asahi finally exclaims. "Yes, I-I would, that…that sounds nice."
Ushijima's face brightens, and his lips curve up into a small smile that honestly takes Asahi's breath away. "Wonderful."
"Oh good you're up," says the hospital matron as he comes bustling out of the back office. "Arm all good?"
"Yes, sir," Asahi answers, disappointed that the rare smile on Ushijima's face has already faded back into his usual stoic demeanor.
"Any other problems?"
"No."
"Then you're good to go," he replies, marking something off on a chart. "Have a good day, and congratulations on the game."
"Thank you," Asahi says, then slips out from under the thin scratchy blanket on the hospital bed. Ushijima rises from the chair he'd been occupying and walks with Asahi out of the Hospital Wing. He expects Ushijima to turn off or bid him goodbye, but instead they walk in companionable silence all the way down to the school basement, passing the first-floor landing where Ushijima should've turned off to go to his own common room.
Why isn't he saying anything? Asahi thinks. Why aren't I saying anything? Should I say something? Does he think I'm weird for not saying anything?
Finally they reach the barrels that hide the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room, and they come to a stop. Ushijima turns to face Asahi fully.
"I look forward to the ball," he says finally, and Asahi knows he means it because Ushijima is known for always being honest.
"I-I do to," Asahi replies.
Ushijima inclines his head and turns away. Asahi is stuck standing there for…well, he doesn't know how long, actually. But he snaps out of his stupor when the common room door opens and Hinata stumbles out.
"Asahi!" he exclaims. "We won! I caught the Snitch right as you were falling cause everyone was distracted and worried about you! I mean, I was worried too, but I knew you'd be okay and the most important thing is winning the game, right? Should I have been more worried about you instead? What do you th—hey, what's up?" Hinata asks as he dances around to stand in front of Asahi. "Why's your face all red?"
"I, uh, it—it's nothing," Asahi replies. "I'm glad we won. Are they having a party?"
"Yeah! I'm getting us more snacks!" Hinata exclaims. "Wanna come with?"
"No, I…I think I'll just turn in," Asahi replies.
"Okay! See you!" And with that, the ginger bounds down the corridor toward the fruit portrait that conceals the kitchens.
Asahi turns and pulls his wand out of his robes, then taps on the barrel and lets himself into the common room. Sure enough, there's a party in full swing. People are scattered throughout the cozy room. There are snacks and pastries and candy laid out on the large wooden table that's usually used for study groups or chess tournaments. He's unsurprised to see the Gryffindor beaters and seeker—Tanaka, Yamamoto, and Nishinoya—in attendance as well, as they somehow manage to invite themselves to every party in the castle. It also helps that Yamamoto is dating Ennoshita.
"Asahi!" Ennoshita says, the first to notice his arrival. "You good?"
"All better," Asahi replies, raising his hand and displaying its full motion. "I hear we won?"
"Yeah, by 80 points, which sets us up pretty nicely for the rest of the Cup," Ennoshita says. "We'll have to see how Slytherin does against Ravenclaw, but…"
At the mention of Slytherin, Asahi tunes out while his face burns with embarrassment as he fully processes what happened with Ushijima out in the corridor. Ushijima asked him—him!—to the Winter Ball, and he said yes! What was he thinking? There's no way this could be real. Perhaps Ushijima was pranking him, or he was dared to ask Asahi to the dance but didn't actually want to. Maybe Asahi had misheard him? But, no, that couldn't be. Or maybe this is all a fanatical dream brought on by his injury and he's actually still asleep in the Hospital Wing and—
"Asahi?" Ennoshita asks, patting him on the arm. "Are you okay?"
"Y-yes!" Asahi exclaims. Just, uh…just distracted, I guess. I think I'm gonna turn in and get some rest. Enjoy the party."
"Sure thing," Ennoshita says with suspicious look in his eyes.
Asahi flees the common room, dodging teammates and friends who try talking to him, and darts down the hallway to the boys' dormitories. Once in the seventh year dorm, Asahi collapses on to his four-poster bed. His feet hang off the edge, and he stares up at the ceiling.
Now that he's alone with his thoughts, Asahi is reminded of another reason why he doesn't like talking to Ushijima: Asahi's been harboring a ridiculous, baseless crush on him for years.
And now they're going to the Winter Ball together.
Asahi presses his face into his soft, beloved pillow and lets out a long-suffering scream.
/ / /
Three weeks pass between the Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw game and the Winter Ball, and Ushijima doesn't speak to Asahi again that whole time. They're both busy with schoolwork and Quidditch, and they don't have any shared classes this term, and anyway it's not like they're friends. Ushijima has no reason to seek Asahi out even though they're both supposedly going to the Ball together.
What's making Asahi truly stressed is that they haven't discussed any plans for the Ball together, which further cements the worry in Asahi's mind that Ushijima only asked him as a joke or that the whole thing really was a dream. He doesn't know if he's supposed to meet Ushijima in the dungeons or in the basement or at the Ball itself. He doesn't know if this is a date or a prank or if Ushijima's just taking pity on him, and he doesn't like not knowing. He ends up distracting himself from his dilemmas by throwing himself into his studies and practices, but if he lingers in the Great Hall during meals or hangs around the Viaduct more than usual, well, that's not anybody's business.
The castle is in a tizzy on the evening of the Winter Ball as it is every year. Asahi and the other seventh year boys don their dress robes and compare styles and looks. Asahi's proud to say he actually made his dress robes himself, which is a hobby he's been cultivating in his personal time. He's actually working up the courage to ask around at local wizarding wear shops for internships once he graduates.
"Asahi! Team photo, let's go!" Inuoka shouts from where he's standing in the doorway of the seventh year dorm. "Kyoutani's getting antsy, says he needs to meet up with Yahaba before the dance."
Asahi grimaces because he knows what 'meeting up with Yahaba' means, and he'll honestly be surprised if his fellow beater and the Slytherin seeker even make it to the ball.
"I'm ready, I'm ready," he replies, and he bids his dormmates goodbye before following the chaser out down the tunnels toward the common room. The common room is far too crowded for a group photo, so the team files out into the kitchen corridor where several non-Hufflepuffs wait for their dates—including one Ushijima Wakatoshi.
The Hufflepuff Quidditch team stops dead at the sight of the Slytherin Captain. It's not unusual to see a Slytherin outside the Hufflepuff dormitory—almost half the team is dating Slytherins—but Ushijima has never had cause to be in the castle basement before.
He looks…unfairly good. His hair is slicked back off of his forehead, allowing his sharp eyes to be even more visible. He's dressed in well-fitted robes of the deepest purple, and some part of Asahi wonders who his tailor is and if they'll take an intern. But another, louder part of Asahi is screaming internally because Ushijima looks even more pristine and put-together than usual, which of course makes him more intimidating than ever.
Ushijima gives a simple nod in greeting to fellow captain Kita before turning toward Asahi. "Azumane. Are you ready?"
"U-um, we were gonna take a photo," Asahi replies.
"Understandable. Please, take your time."
"R-right," Asahi says, then looks toward his team, who are all gaping at either him or Ushijima. Hinata looks like he might give himself whiplash at any moment with how quickly he's looking back and forth between Asahi and Ushijima.
"You have a date?!" Koganegawa yells. "Dude, I thought you were going stag with me, Inuoka, and Aone! Why didn't you tell us?"
"Sorry, it uh—"
"When did that happen?" Yamaguchi asks.
"Well, you see—"
"Are you dating?!" Hinata screeches far too loudly for the echoey corridor.
Asahi feels so hot his face must be on fire. "I-I, it—he—"
"Okay, come on, let him live," Ennoshita interrupts. "It's not our business. Let's take the picture and all be on our way, yeah?"
"Fucking finally," Kyoutani mutters under his breath.
After arranging themselves in a nice order and then spending ten minutes spent trying and failing to get them all to make a nice face at the tame, Kita finally dismisses them, and Asahi nervously approaches Ushijima.
"Shall we?" he asks, and he offers his arm.
Asahi can't speak around his heart in his throat, so he just places his hand in the crook of Ushijima's elbow and let him guide them. Behind them, the Hufflepuff team whistles and jeers, and Asahi ignores every one of them.
"How have you been?" Ushijima asks once they're walking up the stairs.
"Oh good, good," Asahi says weakly. "Busy. And you?"
"The same."
They fall quiet again, and Asahi is sure his palm is sweating against Ushijima's nice robes, but he's too nervous about possibly offending Ushijima to pull away and surreptitiously wipe it on his own robes. They attract some stares as they approach the Great Hall where more and more groups and couples are milling about waiting for the ball to officially begin, but nobody says anything to them until they come upon some other members of the Slytherin Quidditch team.
"Wakatoshi-kun!" calls a pleased yet mischievous voice that belongs to the Slytherin keeper, Tendou Satori. "He actually came! Semi-semi, you owe me ten Galleons."
"I don't owe you shit," snaps Semi Eita, the other Slytherin beater.
Tendou pouts and wraps his arms around Semi, who pretends to look disgusted but slings one arm over his boyfriend's shoulders anyway.
"Shall we find a table?" Ushijima asks.
"We shall," Tendou says, linking his other arm with Ushijima's free one and then dragging the three of them into the Great Hall.
It's decked out in crystals and gauzy curtains and magically frozen ice sculptures. Small snowflakes flutter down from the high arched ceilings and disappear before they reach anyone's heads. Tables line the edges of the hall, leaving the center clear as a dance floor. Asahi sees some of his friends and classmates scattered around the room, and he offers them a wave as he goes to sit with the Slytherins.
Asahi feels incredibly awkward at first, unsure of how to participate in the conversations happening around him. Ushijima still hasn't said much to him, and Asahi feels more and more like this must be a pity date. But as the feast gets started and more people join them at the table, Asahi begins to relax.
Part of that is because Tendou is good at drawing everyone into a conversation and making sure no one is left out, which Asahi is grateful for. The Slytherin keeper has a shifty, unsettling air about him that makes him incredibly hard to read during a game—Asahi's glad he's a beater and has never had to go up against Tendou's blocking—but in person Asahi can see the good person underneath the aloof exterior.
Another part is Ushijima, and how Asahi's seeing a side of him he's never seen before. Ushijima laughs at Tendou's jokes, smiles at Semi's comebacks, and even partakes in the conversations himself. Asahi doesn't think he's ever heard Ushijima speak so much, not even when they were first years on that one project together. A bit of that intimidating demeanor begins to melt away, revealing a kind and sensitive man, and Asahi wonders if he's been misinterpreting Ushijima this whole time. Everything he's taken as stoicism and sternness and even arrogance has perhaps been shyness and an awkward ability to socialize.
Kind of like me, he thinks to himself, remembering all the times that people have seen his height, brawn, and facial hair and run away screaming.
"Would you like to dance?" Ushijima asks.
Asahi snaps out of his deep thinking and realizes most of their table has disappeared now, and he notices the band's started playing.
"Yes," he replies. "Yes, I'd love to."
Ushijima offers his hand, and Asahi's trembles a little as he takes it. It's broad and calloused, but he knows his is too, and anyway he kind of likes it. He tries not to wonder if anyone's staring as one of Hogwarts' most sought-after bachelors leads him out to the dance floor.
The dancing is fun. Everybody mingles and bounces and sways to the music, sometimes showing off dance moves or parting to form a small circle so people can have a little competition. Asahi dances alongside friends and classmates and acquaintances and people he's never seen before, and right there with him the whole time is Ushijima.
Ushijima is stiff and a little awkward in his rhythm, but he's smiling and he's charming and despite all of the people who come up and try to steal him away, he doesn't stray from Asahi's side. It's about thirty minutes in when Asahi realizes he's starting to feel actually comfortable around Ushijima, and that's of course when the band chooses to begin playing a slow ballad.
He slows to a stop in the middle of the dance floor, and Ushijima turns to face him. Then he takes a step forward and hovers a hand over Asahi's waist.
"Is this okay?" Ushijima asks.
Asahi once again can't find his voice, so he just nods in assent. Ushijima's hand settles on Asahi's waist, drawing him in near, and grasps Asahi's hand in his other. Asahi places his right hand on Ushijima's shoulder, and then they're dancing.
Ushijima surprises him by showing a certain amount of skill in this kind of dancing—far more than Asahi at any rate—as he leads them through the steps and some twirls. They don't speak, but the silence doesn't intimidate him anymore. Instead, Asahi feels more heard than he ever has in his life. Ushijima's gaze never wavers from his, and Asahi can see the attentiveness and the care in those olive eyes.
He doesn't know when, but at some point they'd dropped their hands and Ushijima now has both hands on Asahi's waist, and Asahi's other hand has somehow landed on the back of Ushijima's neck. They're just swaying back and forth to the music now, still looking at each other, and Asahi wants so badly to lean forward and press his forehead to Ushijima's. He can feel his crush welling up inside his chest until it feels like his heart might give out from the pressure when suddenly the music changes to something upbeat and catchy again.
The spell is broken, and Asahi draws back, pulling his hands away. Ushijima lets him, and Asahi thinks he can detect the slightest frown on the otherwise blank face.
"I-I'm gonna get some air," Asahi says.
Ushijima nods, and Asahi rushes away. He practically flies into the entrance hall and pushes out the grand main doors of the castle where the night chill is bracing against his face. The sky is clear above him, and he gazes up at the stars before closing his eyes. The music from the ball is muted now, and he hears only scraps of conversation floating around from people who are also taking a break from the festivities. He takes a deep breath and lets it out, feeling better already.
"It's a beautiful night," says a deep voice, but Asahi doesn't startle.
"It is," he agrees, opening his eyes to look at Ushijima.
They regard each other for a long moment, and then Ushijima speaks again, "I apologize if I was too forward in there. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable."
Asahi shakes his head. "No, it's not that, it's…" He sighs. "I tend to overthink a lot of things, and you're one of those things."
Ushijima tilts his head to the side in question, and if it were anyone else Asahi would brush it off and move on, but he can tell Ushijima genuinely wants to listen, and Asahi finds he genuinely wants to explain.
"I don't know what this is, or what you expect from me," Asahi says slowly. "We've never hung out before, never even really talked before tonight. I can't help but feel like I'm being made fun of, somehow, like this is a prank or a joke or a pity date. Which would suck because I…" He takes a breath and steels every nerve he has in his body. "I really like you, Ushijima."
Ushijima listened attentively the whole time, and now his eyes leave Asahi's as he processes and thinks. Asahi almost wishes for once that Ushijima wasn't so careful with his words, because waiting for a response like this is beyond painful.
"It is difficult for me to notice things outside of Quidditch," Ushijima finally starts. "I plan on playing professionally when I graduate, and that's been my goal for as long as I can remember."
Asahi nods. It's not a secret that Ushijima is incredibly talented on a broom. He's played with Ushijima for years, and he knows firsthand how difficult it is to face off against him. Slytherin's been the favorites to win the House Cup every year since Ushijima joined, so it's no surprise that he wants to go pro, and Asahi has every belief that he'll succeed.
"That being said, I must admit that I…I have always noticed you, ever since first year when we were partners," he continues, meeting Asahi's eyes once more, and Asahi suddenly can't breathe. "I am not good at socializing. The friends I have are due to their own efforts for my sake, which I am eternally grateful for. I did not understand, at first, the interest I had in you. As the years passed, I thought I just admired you as a player. It wasn't until I saw you falling that I understood."
"So you…like me too?" Asahi asks.
"Yes," Ushijima says. "Very much. I am sorry it took me this long to realize."
Asahi shakes his head and feels himself begin to laugh. Ushijima's frowning at him in concern, which makes him laugh harder as the waves of relief crash over him.
"Are you okay?" Ushijima asks.
"Yes, yes, I'm—" He takes a deep steadying breath to regain control over himself and turns to fully face Ushijima. "I'm just really, really happy."
Ushijima's face breaks out into a soft smile then, and Asahi just melts. "I'm glad."
He takes a step closer and places his hands on Asahi's waist again, and Asahi rests his hands on Ushijima's broad shoulders. His heart is hammering in his chest from nerves and happiness. Ushijima leans forward and presses their foreheads together just like Asahi had wanted, and he feels like exploding.
"May I kiss you?" Ushijima asks.
"Please," Asahi breathes.
When their lips meet, Ushijima is just as gentle and considerate as he is with everything he does. His lips are warm and soft, and Asahi thinks he could lose himself in this man if he isn't careful.
Asahi likes the simple things in life. He doesn't like things that make his anxiety spike, like questions about the future and the great unknown. But with Ushijima by his side, he thinks he can handle any unknown life throws his way.
My fiancée was talking about random/crack Haikyuu ships a while ago and brought up Ushijima/Asahi as an example and I went "wait I kind of like that" and here we are lol
I hope you enjoyed! I had way too much fun sorting characters into houses and like 60% of them didn't even get mentioned in the fic, so that was a waste of time, but oh well
~Ki
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