I'm shameless enough to do a self-insert
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Welp, I'm dead.
I don't even know what to think even more. I didn't even die from old age like how I wanted to, nope, all it took was a baseball hitting me in the head and I was done for. I can vaguely remember a sharp pain in my head before it dulled to a loud consistent thump, my vision blurred and that was all before the black started to appear.
I feel like that happened only a couple of minutes ago...huh it only took me a couple of minutes to die. I was sure that I was better than that, but nope, in just a couple of minutes, I was dead. I wonder why I'm not panicking, I consider myself to be pretty level-headed but even I know that dying would make me go into a frenzy. It must be the effect of death, after all, how could anyone explain the floating in the cold abyss part.
I turned my head to look and...yep all that surrounds me is black. Well it doesn't matter, I can't bring myself to panic, what's done is done and all things considered, being dead feels kind of nice, there's just this cool feeling in my mind, like an ocean trapped in my head, and its waves soothing my soul. I don't know it just feels nice.
So as I just continue floating in the abyss, and I bring myself to wonder if this is how it's going to be for eternity. Will I just continue floating doing nothing but enjoy the feeling of death? It sounds boring in all honesty. Do all dead people go through this? Are they just floating in their own place of existence like me, or are they somewhere else? Hmmm, that's pretty interesting to think about.
Speaking of where did all those theories of the afterlife come from? Like heaven and reincarnation, there isn't even anything of the like in death. Or at least I think. Maybe I just wasn't worthy enough. I mean I didn't do much but enjoy my youth, working and having fun was all I did. I wasn't a hero for the unfortunate, maybe that's why I'm here just floating. I wasn't good enough for the good deals of death but wasn't bad enough to suffer in death. Yeah being in the middle ground of death...I feel cheated.
I was hoping to be reincarnated into another world like in those isekai. I hoped that's what happened after death, sure heaven was a nice thought, but knowing that you could never sin for eternity, well that was kind of a deal-breaker for me, and besides all, you would do was bask in the sun and talk with your ancestors and all the dead people. I was more or less an antisocial person when I was alive, sure I liked talking to people and being in their presence as much as the next person, but I had to recharge my social batteries and be in my solitude for a couple of hours. In heaven talking was all you could do, a nightmare for me and my introverted brethren...or at least I think it would, but then again I wouldn't know seeing as I didn't get into heaven.
Reincarnation is where it's at honestly. Having a second chance at life, in a world filled with fantasy and the like sounds so much better. I already know I would've been a badass protagonist, because unlike those other shonen fools I would try to get good, instead of having to rely on a harem and plot armor. Honestly man, the isekai genre went downhill after konosuba and overlord, everything is a copy and paste nowadays, or was. Except for Rimuru and Naofumi, those two are the goats.
I feel cheated because I know the people that followed Buddhism got to follow that route, or maybe they got reborn into slimes. Honestly, rebirth is kind of a double-edged sword, you have the same chances of being turned into a butterfly or a dragon. I think?
Anyhow, I wish I just went to another world instead of floating in the abyss.
A grand light shone down from somewhere in the abyss. The light engulfed me in a mellow gleam, it reminded me of my mom's hug...Ma. Huh. Right being dead means that I can't see my family and friends. I can't make any more memories with them. I felt a few tears drop from my face when I realized that I would never feel their love again. The light just reminded me of all the good things I would never get to experience now, all the things that I enjoyed in life are now gone forever. So I just let myself cry, basking in the homely light.
But soon the light started to fade away, warmth being replaced with the cold. I struggled to get back to the light, crying for it to come back because it was the only thing that reminded me of life. And before soon I was just embraced by the cold instead. So I cried...until I found myself being grabbed, I wiggled and cried, hearing unintelligible noises reach my ears. But then I stopped as a thought occurred to me.
'Did I...just come out of the womb?' The blanket that covered me and the breast I laid against answered my question.
'...Death has a fucked up way of giving you what you want.'
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I was born into a family of two. My new parents were called Charles and Layla Monke, they looked young when I first saw them, they were more than likely in their mid-twenties, and judging from their clothes, I was living in the past, or maybe in a fantasy world filled with wizards. They were fairly attractive I'm willing to admit, both having black hair and brown eyes, so I had good hopes for the future. Anyhow they decided to name me J, and to be honest I don't mind it that much since my old name started with a J, and I'm happy I didn't get some cheesy ass name.
They were cuddling people I realized, always being in the same room as me and never letting me out of their sight even when I couldn't crawl. But other than that they were ideal parents in a happy relationship. My dad worked as a carpenter while my mother was a housewife, and then there was me the baby. And I just now realized how much being a newborn sucked ass, all you do is lay around all day shitting and pissing. Oh, the embarrassment of having to crap my first diaper haunts me, along with feeling it on my ass.
As the months passed and as my little body grew stronger I was finally able to crawl around the house, which was a modest two-story building. Sure there were some problems with Charles and Layla being too protective but soon enough my stubbornness to explore wore them down enough. In the house, there were four rooms, the master where my parents and I slept, another bedroom which I think would be mine when I'm old enough, a study filled with books, and a single bathroom. I was surprised that there was plumbing but I'm content enough with not needing to shit in a bucket in the future.
With not much to do as a baby, I began picking up books to read. The language wasn't English so I couldn't understand any of it and I still couldn't understand what my parents were saying so I was kind of left in a loop. I had to wait until I turned a year old where words finally started to make sense to me, sure sometimes they were still a garbled mess, entering one ear and coming out the other, but I felt that I was making good progress if the compliments from my parents were anything to go by.
It wasn't too soon until reading came to me. There was a big assortment of books ranging from all types of genre, it was a paradise for book readers, or should I suppose. Funny thing is that there were no history books, just fictional tales of heroes and villains, some myths and legends, but other than that nothing else.
Some time passed and I was finally able to walk by myself. Charles and Layla were so overjoyed that they decided to finally bring me outside for a day in the town. They dressed up nicely with Charles wearing a nice shirt and pants, while mother put on a pretty yellow sundress, I on the other hand was still equipped with my baby clothes.
Being outside for the first time in a year felt nice. The air was crisp with the fragrant smell of grass and flowers. The sun was bearing down, not harshly but enough for a small layer of sweat to shine on my skin. It was nice, I commended my parents for their location of living. I looked around, taking in the sights of the bustling street, with people going on with their lives, kids playing on the streets, and soldiers drinking...
Soldiers?
There were a total of four soldiers each drinking and being merry with their beer, ignoring the people around them as they did to them. But there was one thing that drew my attention to them, jackets made from brown leather with two roses on the back. A pit of ice formed in my stomach, because I recognized that insignia, it belonged to one of my most favorite anime. Charles and Layla took notice of my unease and tried to comfort me but I instead wiggled free from Layla's grasp and waddled my way through the street. The buildings blocked my view of the sky so I tried to find someplace without them. Luckily I stumbled across a market square where vendors were selling their wares. And beyond them looming over the city, there they were.
Walls
I looked at them, and I couldn't think at the moment, my brain failing to comprehend the scenery before me. Those walls brought to me newfound terrors that I never felt before in my past and present lives. After all, being born into a world filled with titans was hell itself.
As I stared, a pair of hands picked me up from the ground.
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Well, fuck...fuck...fuck fuck fuckity fucking hell this is such bullshit!
Why!? Why of all the millions of billions of worlds did I just so happen to be born into Attack on Titan! Like what kind of fucking bullshit luck is that!? Couldn't it have been the fucking Lord of the Rings or I don't know maybe fucking Naruto, hell even My Little Pony is better, what did I do to deserve this!?
Wait no, I'm panicking, panicking is bad. I just need to calm down, take in some deep breaths and let my little nostrils take in some air. Let the soothing air calm my brain and beating heart, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, just embrace the comfort of mother holding you close to her, just ignore her and father's incessant babble. Ok, good now let's think about this, I died and got reincarnated into Aot, ok that's bad but why is it bad, maybe it's because of the Titans out in the walls, or maybe because of the rest of the world hating on us eldians.
...Other than that there are no other bad things regarding Aot...forgot about the internal problems, okay so titans, the world, and a shitload of thugs, kidnappers, mercenaries, and other people...Actually, that isn't too much different from back home, just replace the titans with natural disasters and boom an exact copy of my past life, maybe a little bit less advanced but the point still stands.
...Kind of…
Anyhow, I've pointed out the flaws of this world, and I find them all not too bad. But why was I worried? Maybe it had to do with most people born dying horrible deaths. But then again it mainly is the soldiers who died those kinds of deaths... never mind, Shiganshina and Trost had to deal with those bad ends along with the people that were forced to go 'reclaim the land'. Should I also count the Interior since a lot of people were killed because Eren and Annie were fighting? Ohhh right, Eren...that's why I'm terrified as a bitch right now, that dude is the meaning of death. My guy is such a big mass murderer that it would make the likes of Hitler proud. That's not counting the number of people that died indirectly because of him. I'm pretty sure that he was the reason behind most soldier's deaths. If you aren't part of the main cast then you're dead...sort of. Because just look at Sasha she was loved and stuff but now she's dead, or will be, or maybe she is? Doesn't matter.
Seeing as how the walls are still intact it means that Eren hasn't even activated the rumbling so I was born before that...Wait...Are Eren and the rest even born yet?... Yeah…Hell Yeah! Why am I assuming that I was born at the same time as the main cast? Silly thoughts that's why! The walls have been up for around a hundred years and for all I know I was born twenty, thirty, or even eighty years before Eren. Or maybe I am younger than them but either way, the chances of me being born at the same time as Eren is so low it should be laughable. And because of that means that I won't have to get involved with him, because any amount of involvement with Eren means death. Let's Go! I'm going to live and not die a gruesome death!
I nod from my spot on my fretting mother's shoulder -who I've been ignoring- there is nothing for me to worry about.
"..Oh! Layla is that you?" A feminine voice caught my attention, I couldn't turn my head to look but I did think that she sounded oddly familiar, but at the same time she didn't.
Luckily my mother responded "Carla! How nice to see you! Ohhh my, is that Eren? He's growing so big!"...No...No...Ignore it and it will go away...Please no...Please don't tell me, please don't tell me...NO FUCKING WAY!
I pushed off Layla, brushing off her surprise. I was able to turn my head and lo and behold Carla motherfucking titan-food Jaeger, and there eating her hair was the devil himself Black Air Force Energy Drip Lord Eren Jaeger.
...Did I upset the gods? Because I feel like I did after all, what other meaning is there. Of the one percent chance of me being born at the same time as Eren it actually happened...where was this luck when I wanted rare items in games. HUH GOD! WHERE WAS IT!
Matter of fact, I didn't even need to be born in the walls I could've been born sometime in between two-thousand years ago till all the way into the future, and I didn't even need to be born in Paradise, it could've been anywhere else so what kind of luck do I fucking have!? It's absurd!
...You know what fuck this…Looking at Eren, I stared him right in the eyes.
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"Oh my! They're looking at each other!" Layla squealed, worries gone as she tried to stop herself from bouncing in excitement, Charles put his hand on her shoulder in an effort to calm her down, but even he had an obnoxious grin.
"It's so cute, I just know they're going to be such good friends." Carla added, her own smile blooming on her face, it was hard to keep Eren's attention on just one thing, so it was just amazing how easy J was able to. Call it a mother's intuition but she had a feeling that the two of them would affect each other's lives in one way or another.
Layla squealed once again "Look at my baby! He's reaching out to Eren!" J was sticking out his little arm waving it at Eren. Her own child continued staring at the limb, before he imitated the action, sticking out his little arm.
"Hey move a little close to each other, I want to see what the two of them do." Charles told the women, and the two couldn't agree more taking small steps, bringing the babies closer to one another.
"...F...F-F…" J bubbled
This time Layla did squeal "He's going to say his first word! He's going to say his first word, Charles!" Her husband only nodded, the largest grin Carla's ever seen on his face present. But she couldn't blame him, as she too had quite the large smile.
"F? Perhaps he's going to say father?" Carla inquired. Charles' grin seemed to get even larger.
"Or maybe he's going to say friend? Or maybe even food." Layla didn't seem upset, but she wasn't one to rule out the possibilities especially when it came to her baby.
"F-F...F-F-F…" J continued it was obviously hard for him, as he was starting to turn a slight red.
"Come on sweetie you can do it." Layla's eyes were sparkling
"F-Fuck...you." J spoke his first words, raising a sole finger at Eren.
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I embraced the silence that followed and relished in the chaos that came after.
...Huh that's a pretty cool quote, I need to remember it later.
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So yeah, this is a thing now, Self-Insert fanfic what joy and cringe it gives me.
So on different matters now, it's been a year and a couple of months since I've written anything on Fanfiction, and during that time I accumulated a good set of skills that brings me out of the beginner phase into the amateur phase. At least I hope.
Anyhow with AoT ending a couple of days ago, I have mixed feelings about the ending, it was good but at the same time bad, in my opinion at least. Mainly how it had to do with my thoughts of Eren dying, sure, he was able to wipe out most of the world but in the end, the world is still fearful of eldians, I know it is a little bit much to ask for something greater but ehhhhh. Also, I'm a little disappointed that he didn't leave a legacy behind, like a physical legacy I mean, I don't count Mikasa's scarf, that's why I was so hopeful for Historia's kid to be his but oh well I suppose. There were also some character interactions that I wished to see more of that didn't happen.
So as I was criticizing it I thought, why not fix it yourself, and I thought why the fuck not so here we go. Hope you guys liked the first chapter, I mingled in writing and I find that first person is by far the easiest to write, but I want to get better in writing third person, so I'm asking you all to absolutely give me all of your criticisms in the reviews. Don't hold back.
Regarding the story, I have hopes for it to go through all the AoT storyline with a different ending since I am going to make a couple of changes, have some characters interact, save a couple of characters, maybe kill a couple, but it is still going to follow the main story. I consider this my practice, but I also know my limits and I can honestly say that I want to finish this story. I don't think that I'll be able to. Maybe I will and maybe I won't but I'll be giving it my best shot.
Remember to criticize