Build
For Yennefer it starts with a bar fight.
Well, not with the bar fight itself, but that same night. She is in 'The Dandelion' a bar that Tess had swore was great and had live music every weekend. That night it was packed. A crowd had gathered in front of the small stage cheering for a local rock band that was surprisingly good. It was then when she had noted him.
An Asshole.
He was leering and staring and had a creepy expression, and the moment he walks towards Yennefer she walks away from the stage. She expertly avoids bumping into people until she bumps into a wall.
Or so she initially though, it was actually a man. A very tall man. A very tall muscular man. A very tall muscular man with gray hair. Maybe even a little bit scary. So it was her best chance.
"Long time no see!" Yennefer tells the complete stranger, "I was not expecting to see you here… you." Her voice clearly told she was lying but with the amount of noise, the creepy asshole wouldn't notice it.
The stranger looks at her with a confused look and Yennefer tries to use her head and eyes to point to the guy slightly stalking her. He seems to get the hint and he just looks at her.
"Yeah, long time no see." Yennefer smiles, glad to know he is helpful "Are you in trouble?" and her smile fades. Who the fuck does he think he is? Who the fuck does he think you are?
"Not trouble, just a slight inconvenience."
"Do you need someone to walk you to the door? Find your friends?"
Yennefer just gives a look over her shoulder, the creepy dude no longer there. "Nah, thanks for your services."
She goes back to the crowd and is completely sure the very big tall dude is looking at her.
She is enjoying the music, the rock music helping her release some tension, when she feels a pair of hands in her waist, one a little too far up to be called her waist.
"I got you," a slurred drunk voice says at her ear and Yennefer, without second thought turns and punches the guy straight in the face.
The guy stumbles back and hits a man in the process, dropping his beer.
"What is your problem man?" Yennefer manages to hear just before the fight starts. She is pushed by a guy, probably a friend of the drunken asshole, who is running to the fight and she trips back. Someone grabs her arm and she avoids the fall.
"Are you ok?" asks the white haired tall man, and Yennefer stands again.
"I am perfectly fine."
"IS THAT BITCH'S FAULT!" Yennefer hears the scream from the asshole.
"What seems to be the problem?" the stranger gives a step in front of Yennefer, partially hiding her.
"That BITCH punched me in the face."
"Well, seemed to me you were looking for it."
"Oh, what now? You are her knight in shining armor?"
"Judging by your bloody nose, I don't think she needs my help."
"My…" the asshole touches his upper lip, and sees the blood staining his fingers. "THAT BITCH BROKE MY NOSE!" the asshole, his friends, and even the guy who had lost his beer all lunged forwards, and while the stranger was indeed very tall, he seemed slightly outnumbered and judging by his stand, unmistakably drunk.
"Come here, you…" Yennefer grabs the strangers arm and runs away from the crowd. She could have easily have abandoned the taller man and blend in with the people , but it seemed like an asshole move.
They rush past the bar, and the stranger pulls her to the side walking to a dark hallway, "there are some staff restrooms here," and he was right. They hid in the dimly lit bathroom, with a bunch of unlabeled boxes.
"Thanks for your help," Yennefer hears herself say, "But you really shouldn't have." You snarky ungrateful bitch
"Yeah, the same to you." The man realizes he is still holding Yennefer's hand and lets go.
"No, no, it is fine," Yennefer says as he walks closer to the man, her chin up so she is able to look directly to his eyes. The man has the smallest smile on his lips just before he dips down and kisses her. Yennefer will surely blame the alcohol and she assumes the stranger will too, but in matter of seconds he is carrying her and she has her legs around his waist.
He walks them to a wall, and in a moment their lips are not locked together, Yennefer takes her t-shirt off.
"I am Geralt."
"Yennefer."
She wakes up slightly hangover.
"You woke up." Yennefer groaned, she was not expecting that voice so early in the morning.
"Triss."
"How was your night?" The read head left a cup of coffee on Yennefer's bedside table and laid down beside her.
"It was fine." The smell of the coffee was inviting but the hug of the covers was still superior. "Yours? Was him worth you leaving me behind?" she tries to ask with fake anger but it came out sounding too real.
You stupid bitch, your only friend and you treat her like crap.
"Oh, he fine." Triss makes an exaggerated pout, "I swear next time I will only leave you behind if he is excellent." The sound of a cellphone vibrating forced Yennefer to stand up, "interesting that when I came here you were not still home."
Yennefer didn't need to see Triss's face to know she was smiling devilishly.
"Was he hoooot?"
"What makes you think he was a he?"
"Uh, was she hot?"
"That's not…" Yennefer retrieves her phone; buried in the back pocket of the black skinny jeans she was wearing last night, "I mean, what makes you think I met someone?"
"Oh. Oh…" Yennefer ignores the small disappointment in Triss's voice. She has a text. "So, lend me some clothes?"
"Yeah, whatever you like." She tells her friend.
Tell her to move in with you, tell her you will move in with her, like in in the past.
She would say no, she is more than happy to crash on your couch on a weekend, but who would want to live with you? You stupid stupid little girl, still as dumb as it gets.
"Hey, everything all right?"
"Yes." Yennefer cuts Triss, "Just… need a shower."
Yennefer arrives to Istreed's just after work.
She can hear the shower running, and Yennefer pulls he phone from the purse besides the bed.
10:30
It was still early enough to go to her place to sleep.
She starts fishing for her clothes; a white button up, a very office appropriate skirt, thighs. She is half way dressed when the shower stops.
"Istredd? I'm going home," she calls behind her and hears the bathroom door open.
"I would prefer if you stay here," he says to her, his voice calm as ever.
"Yeah, I know." She looks at him, a small smile on her face, "I have an early meeting tomorrow."
"Better reason for you to stay," he reasons. "You could actually sleep more."
Yennefer smiles, more widely this time, "Thanks, I'm going to head out."
Triss wants to go back to that fucking bar on a Thursday.
"We went there like three nights ago"
"It was like at least four! Come on! I was there for just a minute!"
"Fine!"
You stupid useless bitch, you should be thankful she wants go out with you, after living with you or so many years, she still wants someone like you around.
They arrive to the bar a little too early for bar hours. They are not planning to get drunk, just a beer or two so Triss can see the place. Yennefer hadn't expected to see Geralt standing beside the bar.
"Yen," he greets, and Yennefer saw the bartender peek besides Geralt.
"Geralt," she greets back, she could feel Triss curiosity behind her. "Long time no see."
His faint smile grows.
"Oh, tell me Geralt, who is this lovely lady and her lovely friend?" asks the man behind the bar, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Jaskier…"
"Oh I had the same question in mind," Triss says, "Yen…"
"Hm, if I had known coming to this place was going to mean an interrogation I would have not accepted coming back here"
"No no no, sorry, I apologize," says quickly the bar tender crouching quickly to leave the bar. "please please please, sit! Enjoy! Today music might not be the best in town."
"Jaskier"
"Just because it is not me, but is not half bad." He smiles widely as he pulled back a chair for Triss. "Geralt!" he calls, "why don't you entertain our guests…"
"They are called clients, Jaskier, and they are your clients," his tone appears annoyed but Yennefer notices how he is actually amused.
The waiter—Jaskier offers them a menu but Yennefer doesn't take it.
"If you have anything on draft that is not a commercial beer, I'll have that." Yennefer says.
"If you have anything on draft that is a commercial beer, I'll have that." Triss says, a large smile on her face.
Jaskier runs back to the bar.
After two beers Triss and Yennefer are ready to go back home.
Just before leaving she says goodbye to Geralt.
They exchange numbers.
She's at Istredd's, too late to go back home. He is asleep besides her as she lays awake. She reaches for her phone. She opens FaceBook. A couple of friends posting pictures of their kids. A coworker sharing a post filled with unscientific explanations of why medicine was a scam. Tons of ads. She notices a recommended page.
'The Dandelion'. Curiosity gets the better of her and she clicks.
Thursday an acoustic duet.
Friday a cover band.
Saturday a DJ.
Damn, they liked to mix it up. She wonders if they will have another rock band again soon.
"Yennefer?" she hears a groggily voice besides her. "You are still awake?"
"Yes," she blocks her phone, "sorry."
She turns to lie on her side and closes her eyes, trying to sleep.
She wakes up on Wednesday, on her own bed, to a text.
Geralt has sent an Image.
Is he sending me a fucking dick pic?
Yennefer does her whole morning routine and avoids her phone. She even manages to get her morning coffee at the office, but she can't with her curiosity any longer. Yennefer opens the conversation and is confused at what she sees.
'WE ARE PROUD TO ANOUNCE THAT THIS THURSDAY ON THE DANDELION JASKIER WILL PERFROM A SETLIST OF FOLK ROCK BALLADS AT THE DANDELION
THURSDAY'
'wtf?' she texts back.
Is a couple of hours until she gets a response.
'Fucking Jaskier stole my phone. Sent that thing to literally all my contacts.'
'How embarrassing being you.'
'You have no idea.'
She and Triss decide to go to Jaskier's night at The Dandelion.
Triss because "folk rock ballads" sound like something she might like. She even calls more of their friends.
Yennefer because she knows Geralt will be there.
She is under Geralt, both their shirts off. He is kissing her neck and slowly going down on her body, kissing her clavicle, between her breasts and she just can't wait to take his pants off and….
You stupid whore, you are leaving your friends to have a quick fuck? Greedy bitch.
Geralt probably felt her tense, since he stops.
"Hey, is everything okay?"
"Yes. Yes, everything is fine." He seems to doubt her words as he tries to read her. She just shuffles a little to pull out her phone from her back pocket.
She notices she has a text from Triss, thumbs up emoji, and a couple unread messages from Istredd in the blocked screen, she tosses it to the side.
"It was just bothering me"
Geralt smiles and gives her a soft kiss on the lips.
"Now it is too late, but, you're clean, yeah?"
You are such a useless dumbass, not even to be a slut you can use your brain, you cheap whore…
"Yeah."
They are laying down on his bed, her head on his chest, one of his arms around her.
"Good. Uhm, you don't have to worry. You know?"
"Yeah, you neither" he says, almost falling asleep. He pulls her closer to him. He stares at his calm face before drifting into sleep.
She wakes up with a gasp sitting on the bed, her hand flying to her jaw. She doesn't need to remember what she was dreaming to know what she was dreaming.
"Everything all right?" she hears Geralt ask, but she doesn't look at him.
"I am sorry" she answers mechanically. She feels the mattress shift as he sits, his arms hugging her waist.
"Hey," he kisses her hair softly
Now you want pity? He wants to fuck and you want pity? God, you are pathetic.
Yennefer turns and gives Geralt a kiss in the lips, but he backs away slightly. He kisses her cheek softly and pulls her down, so she can lay her head on his chest again.
They stay like that few minutes, but Yennefer still can't sleep.
Geralt shifts to the side, letting Yennefer lay her head on the pillow.
The light from the outside the window is enough for her to see his expression.
He doesn't look mad the faintest voice in her head says.
She studies his face, his chest, his arms.
She might have stared too much because he whispers.
"You can ask about them, everybody does."
"Everybody is an idiot," he raises an eyebrow, "they ask about scars when your hair is gray?" he chuckles and pulls her close, kissing her hair before letting her go. "So?"
"I always had a white streak."
"And the rest?"
"I don't know, maybe it grew with age. Maybe it was the stress."
"Stress?"
The question is left unanswered for a while, but neither of them closes their eyes. "I was in the army."
Yennefer waits for him to continue. Not daring to ask anything.
"I enlisted to get through college, and apparently I was good at it."
"Why didn't you stay? Raise though the ranks?"
"It is one's duty to disobey an unlawful order," he says, not looking at her, "apparently, not everybody like that."
It takes a couple of days, but Istredd texts her again.
They meet at his apartment, as usual.
It is a quick thing and she waits no time to dress again.
"You didn't answer the other day that I texted you."
"Yeah," she buttons back the black blouse she had, "I added a guy to my rotation." She hopes her voice doesn't betray anything.
It takes her a minute to even wonder what there was to betray.
She starts spending more time at The Dandelion, specially the slow hours.
Jaskier talks and talks about how he is a musician and how since he had started playing Thursdays, the place had better sales that day. He also tells her to convince Geralt to help him at work as he plays.
"After I took you in" Jaskier says, fake hurt.
"You need to do a bigger favor."
She always finds amusing how annoyed Geralt acts when Jaskier asks him.
"Didn't he make favor to you?" Yennefer asks, trying to cause some more discord, when Geralt leaves to the bathroom. "After all, your place seems expensive. You needed a roommate."
"Did he tell you that?" Jaskier appears offended. "I own that place. Well my sister and I. And he gets to live almost for free in there! Well he does pay all the amenities. But! It was already decorated! My couch is great!"
"If it's your sister's…"
"And mine"
"And yours, why doesn't she live there."
"Because she is on tour." Geralt's responds as he sits back. "Plus I think Essi Daven can pay her own apartment without a roommate."
"Your… YOUR SISTER IS ESSI DAVEN!?"
"Shhhh, quiet!"
"I love her!"
"Oh, of course you do. Everybody loves you once you are a sellout~!"
"Jaskier"
"Don't defend her! She started as punk! Now she does country!"
Yennefer laughs, a laugh she didn't knew she had in her.
More often than not they end up at his place, sometimes at hers.
In the morning he always wakes her with a kiss on her hair.
And she likes that.
"Charger?"
He turns to his bedside table and opens the small drawer there.
"Geralt, what the fuck?" She drags herself over him and pulls the drawer completely open. Bottles and bottles of pills filled the drawer. "What is all this?"
"All is prescribed" he mumbles but Yennefer is already picking the bottle one by one, reading the labels. Most are old, and empty, but still Yennefer is frantic.
You are fucking useless bitch you give nothing but pain what the fuck do you want
She is frozen her hands over the bottles of pills trembling. She is trying to read the labels, to see what are in those, but she can't concentrate. The voice in her head louder than it had been in years.
"Yen, it is fine. I am prescribed."
"Doctors only prescribe shit."
She is not sure If Geralt understands what she means or if he just guesses.
"There are no opioids."
Yen feels how he pulls her back to the bed.
"I don't like pills" she says, after a while.
"There are not bad, they are controlled, no opioids, nothing even too strong."
"They are for my PTSD"
They talk about it.
The army, the death, that one journalist that knew maybe a little too much and what he was ordered to do.
She turns off her phone that night.
She shower's at his place that morning, as Geralt goes fishing to Jaskier's room for something one of his many conquest had left behind.
"Is this ok?" Geralt enters to the bathroom as she is washing off the shampoo on her hair. "I am sorry I didn't found anything black."
"Uhm, I guess I can use something gray," she pouts, "at least I like the style."
Geralt goes back to the bedroom and calls for her
"Hey, some Istredd is calling,"
"Leave it, I call him back."
Triss texts her to inform her she is visiting Tissaia. Asking her to come.
Yennefer doesn't answer the text.
She gets to Geralt's place. Takes the hidden key that Jaskier had told her about, and gets in.
She founds him sitting on the floor. His elbows on his knees, his face hidden behind his hands.
"Geralt?"
The kitchen is a mess, the cabinet over the fridge is open and all its contents appear to be spilled in the floor.
With a pill bottle.
"No no no no no"
"I am fine," Geralt's voice is mumbled, "just a little dizzy."
Yennefer picks up the pill bottle, and for a second can feel her father pulling her by the hair, pushing her to the ground
Not now.
"You said you didn't have any opioids."
"Just for cases of emergency… I want to throw up"
"Yeah, that is what happens with fucking Oxy"
Is dark outside when the effects wear off.
"Yen?"
"Geralt."
"The pills?"
"I throw them away."
"Good." Everything is too silent.
"You had a bad reaction, not so uncommon."
"I assumed."
"How do you know so much of…."
"One does not end up in the foster system because their parents take too many marshmallows, you know?"
She tells him.
She tells him of the broken jaw, the dislocated shoulder. The cigarette burns, the kicks, the slaps.
She doesn't talk about how she still hears him.
"You didn't answer," Istredd sounds calm, but Yennefer knows his voice too well, she knows he is mad.
"Geralt had an emergency," she explains, as she takes off her shoes.
"Your army guy?"
"Yeah"
"What?"
"uh?"
"What emergency?"
"Nothing too serious," he stares at her, she tries to be no-chalant, "he just mixed up his meds, had a bad reaction."
"His meds?"
"Leave it, Istredd."
"What? Does your soldier has some chronic pain?" Yennefer says nothing, "you really know how to choose them."
She takes her shoes back, and walks out of his apartment.
Triss stays the night with her, watching old movies and drinking cheap beer.
"She asked me how you were."
"What did you told her."
"I… told her you met a guy that makes you incredibly happy, and that he looked at you like you were the only woman in the world, even when I was right there with a push up bra."
Yennefer laughs a little.
"She asked me if you two were dating"
"And?"
"I told her I didn't knew"
She calls Geralt the next morning, but he doesn't pick up the phone. Something common for him, he had the weirdest inner clock and she never knew when 'his productive hours' actually were.
He texts her after an hour or so.
'What the hell are we?'
'idk, what do you want us to be?'
They don't talk after that for almost two weeks.
She gets a call.
Yennefer stays at Triss that night.
Is not enough.
She goes to Istredd's first, and she fuck him on his kitchen table, she bites and scratches and she still can't shut the fucking voices.
She goes to Geralt's next. The hidden key as reliable as always and she gets in.
No one is there, and she enters to his room.
At what time did he came back?
The voices are too loud to let her think
She takes her lipstick and writes on the window
Call Me
-Y
She opens a bottle of wine and drink directly from with. Glasses be damned.
The wine doesn't shut the voices.
She should have taken some of Geralt's pills. Some would work
You stupid fucking cunt, useless bitch, I would rather see you dead than ever see you back here, you rot, go die, stupid…
There is a knock in the door.
"Yennefer, what is wrong?" It seemed as if he had come to her instead of calling. He looks confused.
"Good," Yen drops the bottle of wine. It didn't break but the wine it still had starts spilling. She grabs Geralt's face and lowers it to her level, is about to kiss him when he pulls back.
"Yenn, what the fuck?"
"I just need this, Geralt, just…"
She pulls her shirt, ready to take it off but Geralt stops her. There is something in his eyes but she can't read what.
They stare for what felt like too long before he speaks again.
"Yennefer I cannot keep doing this anymore."
Destroy
"I cannot do this"
You stupid selfish bitch, useless as always. A fucking cunt
"Oh," even in her drunken state, she can inject venom in her words, "and tell me oh grand Geralt, what is this you can't do? "
"Yen."
"Being fucked sensless?"
"Yennefer."
"You don't even have to do anything; just lay the fuck down, eh?"
He takes a deep breath.
"I can't help you, I can't keep doing this. I cannot keep self-destructing."
You piece of shit, you cunt, you bitch, of course he doesn't want to be with you, why would he? Who would?
"I am just not… whole enough, Yen. "
He is mocking you, he knows, he knows you, he knows what piece of trash you are
"I am… I am too broken."
"Leave."
Yennefer stands under the water, as hot as her shower would go.
But she can't scream.
Triss calls her, after she doesn't answer she texts her.
'Let's go home' Triss texts.
'I need to sleep.'
She finds herself in Istredd's place no long after.
He tells her to take a drawer for some stuff.
She keeps it full of clothes Istredd's like. Clothes he brought for her.
They fuck, she goes to work, and she barely goes to her apartment.
She barely sleeps.
"You should quit your job," he says as Yennefer dresses in the morning.
"What?"
"Quit your job."
"I need my job."
"I make enough for both of us, much more than enough."
"I like my job."
"You always complain"
"Isn't that part of haing a job?" she wants to say, "So you are going to pay for my apartment?" is what she actually says. Hoping the stupidity of Istredd's idea is visible.
"Of course not. I already called your land lord to cancel your lease."
She stares at him, she doesn't know for how long. He doesn't pay attention to her.
"Well, I guess you could keep it." He finally says, "You wouldn't want to feel too useless"
Yennefer knew she felt something for Istredd, which was why she could not leave him. Something kept pulling at her that just made her end up being with him.
Now she knew.
She felt hate.
That day she leaves Istredd's apartment and deletes his number from her phone.
Re Build?
She moves out.
Triss begs her to move in with her, but Yen declines.
She finds a studio, it's a nice building, even if it's small.
She maybe likes it.
The first downside she notices was one day on the grocery store where she spotted Jaskier.
She had stopped on her way home, just to pick up some milk, and bread.
He acted as if he had not seen her and she acted as if she hadn't seen him.
Yen hopes it is a onetime thing.
It takes a couple of days to realize why she saw Jaskier on the grocery store. The shortest route to her job now is walking in front of Geralt's place.
She uses a longer road instead.
She also uses the long road the first time she goes to her therapist.
She rings the doorbell and for one second she considers turning and running away.
The door opens and Tissaia is there, she has some new gray hers and some new wrinkles but she is as poised and as elegant as always.
"Piglet?"
"I have not been piglet in almost ten years." She fights back a smile, "Hello."
Tissaia holds her hand and pulls her inside the house, walking her to the sitting room.
"I will bring some tea." She says as Yennefer sits. Yennefer acts as if she doesn't see the older woman eying her wrists looking for new scars.
"I am back to therapy," Yen forces herself to confess. "We are discussing antidepressants, again."
"So, wine." Tissaia disappear into her kitchen.
"I am sorry I didn't visit. After everything." Yen calls, "I got caught up… with everything."
Tissaia is back in the sitting room, a bottle and two glasses in her hands.
"Oh, piglet. It happens" She pours two generous glasses of wine and hands one to Yen. She waits until Yen starts drinking before talking again. "You always resisted antidepressants."
"I guess I did."
"Then why the change of heart?" Tissaia's look was intense and calculating.
"It was a guy." Tissaia's expression doesn't change a bit, "not the one Triss told you about."
"Oh, she told you she told me?"
"Yes. Well… this other guy." Yennefer weights her words, "I didn't like him, and I almost moved in with him."
It was clearly not the answer Tissaia was waiting
"Oh… oh, I thought"
"You thought it was because my father died."
Tissaia takes a deep breath
"I got the call. It was not pretty" Yennefer manages to keep her voice steady.
"I hope you hadn't heard. I was afraid it would get you spiraling."
"It did."
"Piglet."
"I am still so angry. I wished I could be the one that killed him"
"Yennefer…"
"But," Yen swallows back her tears, "his kidney did. Good."
For the first time in years, Yennefer feels Tissaia hugging her.
And she breaks down.
Heal
"Yen?"
Oh shit
Yen had not expected that the next time she saw Geralt it would be so embarrassing.
She was hangover as she hadn't' been in ages. Triss had taken her out to a party that ended up being too boring.
So they had drunk.
So, now she desperately needed a grilled cheese sandwich covered in bacon dripped in maple and with an egg on the side, first thing in the morning.
Like a normal human.
She hadn't expected that Geralt would walk just in front of the cafe the moment she ate half the sandwich in one bite.
Not knowing what to do, Yen gives a small nod.
"How's everything going?"
"Is he this dense?"
She just raises her shoulders slightly, and he can't help but smile.
"See you around Yen."
"Fuck my life."
She sees that 'Jaskier, musician' posts on FaceBook about not playing his usual Thursday gig on The Dandelion.
So she goes to The Dandelion.
No Jaskier means no risk of seeing Geralt, right?
Wrong.
As soon as she enters she sees him pouring drinks behind the bar.
"Hi Yen" he greets her, "we have a nice red ale in draft."
"Why is he being so nice? What is he… Don't over think it. Don't over think it."
"Wheat beer?"
"Not on draft."
"Good enough." Geralt walks to one of the fridges and pulls a green bottle out, opens it and hands it to Yen.
"Slow day?" Yen asks, trying to be casual.
"Early, I guess"
"So… Jaskier finally broke you?"
"Not at all, I just owed him a favor."
"A big one, I guess."
Geralt just nodded.
Oh well, that is interesting.
Yenn stays besides the bar, like Geralt did when he was chatting with Jaskier. She had nothing to ask and nothing to say and maybe this was a stupid idea and…
"Istredd went to my place," Geralt says, sounding way more casual than anyone would be in his situation.
Oh fuck…
"What? When?"
"He didn't tell you? Months ago, apparently he thought you were hiding there, with me."
If Yennefer could she would let the earth swallow her whole.
"Well, this is awkward"
"It went better that the first time I met him, Yen."
She doesn't need to ask when. She knows. That text had always been off.
"Why would you be hiding, Yen?"
"I wasn't. I lost my apartment because of him and I moved. I guess he could not find me."
Geralt nods, but doesn't say anything else. She does not look at him when she says; "I cut all contact with him."
"Why?"
"I guess I couldn't keep self-destructing anymore."
She tries to explain it, but she can't.
The therapist just looks at her and then writes in her note pad.
"So? Tell me what to do!"
"You know that is not how this works, Yennefer."
"Come on! At least this time."
"Why you can't make a decision?"
"Because I don't know! Every time I'm with him I am fucking him. What if we don't really have a connection?"
"And that worries you because…?"
"Because I…" she slumps un her seat "I want a connection?"
"And what could you do?"
"Not sleep with him?"
So, that is her plan.
It fails.
They end up at her place.
Their time away making them desperate. Geralt takes his shirt off and Yen drags her nails through his chest. He hisses and lifts her up before throwing her to the bed, making Yen laugh. He quickly takes her combat boots and her socks off. She takes her t-shirt off and Geralt kisses the now exposed skin of her chest.
He pulls down the strap of her bralette, leaving her breast exposed.
He kisses and bites and Yen holds him.
Fuck her plan.
She is laying face down as Geralt's fingers draw figures on her back.
"It's a nice place," he whispers.
"It is small."
"Well, it is a studio." He points the obvious.
"It was hard finding a place, especially in such short notice."
"hmmm"
"I had to sell so much furniture"
"Hmm?"
"Made a pretty penny though"
They stay silent
"When I signed the lease, I didn't realize your place was in the middle of here and my job. I always took the long way home."
"You wanted to avoid me?"
"I thought you would hate seeing me, specially so often."
"Oh Yen," he chuckles.
"What's so funny?"
"I moved out."
"What!?"
"I moved out, I have my own place now."
"So I took the long road for nothing!"
"Well, you avoided Jaskier"
"I saw Jaskier at least once every week in the grocery store" she buries her head on her pillow.
"Hey," he reaches for her and she shifts laying on her side.
They stay silent for a while until he speaks again.
"I missed this."
"This?"
"Talking with you, like this. I've missed you Yen."
He can't stay that night, or so he says.
She says it is fine but Geralt still apologizes by eating her out until she can't think.
Just before he leaves she tells him she hopes he can't stay the night more often.
She sees Jaskier in the grocery store again.
Directly in front of her, taking the exact same cheese she was about to take.
"Jaskier," she greets.
"Yennefer."
She is the one who offers the olive branch.
"I saw the clip you poste on FaceBook. Your new song is good, catchy."
"Oh you think so?!"
This time around is different.
She cannot find him in The Dandelion at random days, and he is a little busier. They always end up at her place and even if she had said so the first night, she hates that he rarely stays.
And for a second she feels horrible because maybe he was always as busy but she didn't notice because she could fill the time but she tries not to think about it all the time.
It's until he texts her 'I need to tell you something' and sends her his address that she feels terrified.
She finds herself at his place. His new place. The apartment is nice and as he said is not far from the apartment he shared with Jaskier.
There is some furniture and Yennefer is a little surprised. He could totally picture Geralt as the guy with nothing but a TV and a chair and no décor.
But he has a couch with decorative pillows and a blanket and a coffee table with a nice tray where to put the remote and a videogame controller and even some art on the walls.
"Coffee?" he asks
"Just water is fine."
He is clearly nervous and a little awkward and that only makes Yennefer more nervous.
"I like your new place" she says as she sits in the couch.
"Thanks, Jaskier and Essi helped decorate. They even gifted me some of the art."
"So… Jaskier kicked you out so his sister could move in?"
"No. I needed to move out"
"Need?"
Yen hears the lock and the door opens.
"I am home."
Home?
"Ciri? It is early I…"
"I told you, only half day of classes today." It is Jaskier's voice this time, "Don't worry, I did not forget and I have a gig in Saturday so you can pay me back…" a blonde girl entered the living room, followed by Jaskier. "Oh… hello, Yennefer." Jaskier looks like a deer caught by the head light.
The girl is staring at her, distrusting.
Geralt seemed lost of words, looking between her and the girl.
"Hi, my name is Yennefer." For a second she feels at Tissaia's but this time she isn't the angry teenager, but the adult trying to reach in. "What's your name?"
"My name is Ciri." The girl answers, she quickly glances at Geralt.
"Nice to meet you Ciri" Yen tries to sincere, but she is too confused and nervous. The girl turns to Jaskier.
"Is this the same Yennefer you talked about?"
Oh
"Ciri…." He hears Geralt's voice, incredibly soft
"I will be in my room." She mumbles, half way out, dragging her backpack. Jaskier follows her
"Or we could go to the park! Get groceries, come on Ciri! I'll buy you all the chocolate you can eat."
In a swift move the girls is being dragged out the apartment.
They stay in silence, even after they hear the door close.
"You told me you had a vasectomy." Yen doesn't want her voice to be so cold when she says that, but she can't help it. "Did you have some fun before having it? Hm?"
"When I was in the army, I saved a friend's live. I… I was named their kid's godfather, more as a gesture." He is looking for anything to see to aovid her eyes, "They died soon after, but the kids grandmother said she was going to take care, and that was it."
"Until?"
"Until Jaskier sent that fucking poster."
"To every contact in your phone…"
"Including a very sick Calanthe. She was dying"
"So you got the child"
"It was me or Social Services. That's why I moved out."
"So… she is what you wanted to talk about."
"Yeah, I… I know this is too much. I understand if you prefer to walk o—"
"I'm in," she says, with a conviction she didn't know she had, "at least let me try."
Home
For Yen it starts with a snowfight.
Everything they own is in boxes and the had slept the night before in their mattress in the floor, but it snows that night and Ciri refuses to stay inside and do chores when she can be out and playing.
And Yen agrees.
"I don't understand how you just knew where all the heavy winter stuff was. It wasn't even labeled." Geralt mutters, before barely avoiding a snowball thrown by Ciri.
"I am magic, you know that." Yen laughs, she aims to her husband but before she is able to throw the snowball he runs to her and lifts her from her feet.
"Ciri, now!" her daughter shows impressive aim at failing completely at the task asked, instead hitting Geralt in the back.
And Yen laughs