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And here I bring to you: another Janus fic. But this time it's pretty much crack, so hopefully that offsets the large amount of angst I've been writing lately ;3

On with the story:

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It was a beautiful day in the mindscape...

Birds were blooming...

Flowers were singing…

On days like these, the sides were gathered in the living to hang out, as they sometimes did when they weren't busy trying to help Thomas with a moral dilemma or metaphorically tearing each others' throats out.

Logan was reading a book, Virgil was scrolling through Tumblr, Roman was writing, Patton was watching tv, and, well, no one was quite sure what exactly it was that Remus was doing, but they were all certain it was horrifying and had therefore made the unanimous decision to not glance at the corner where Remus was working. They heard a few decidedly disturbing sounds coming from the corner, but so long as they didn't see anything, they could just about pretend that it was only a sound effect from Patton's cartoons.

Oh, and Janus was doing a crossword puzzle, and it was from this crossword puzzle that he suddenly looked up.

"Hey, do any of you know what the capital of Austria is?"

"Dude, just Google it," Virgil suggested gruffly.

Janus blinked at him.

"Goo...gle?" he spoke slowly, as if he was confused, and Virgil looked up from his phone.

"Oh my god, please don't tell me you use Bing."

"... Bing?"

Roman looked up from his laptop.

"Deceit, what search engine do you use?" questioned the prince. "It better not be the Yahoo search, or I will seriously have to duel you."

"Okay, now you're just making up words," Janus sighed. "Seriously, do any of you know the capital of Austria or not?"

Logan opened his mouth to answer:

"It's-"

But got cut off.

"No, we're literally not?" Virgil spoke over him. "You know, Google, Bing, Yahoo? On the computer?"

"Oh," Deceit said, seeming to have suddenly come to a realization.

"I don't use the computer."

"... What."

Janus shrugged.

"It was too annoying to figure it out, so I just decided not to bother," he explained. "It's not like I'm missing anything."

"Uh, no, I definitely think you're missing something."

And then Patton joined the party.

"Um, Janus, Kiddo, how have you been watching Thomas's videos?"

"I don't?'

"Dude, you're literally in them!"

The shock on Janus's face had to be exaggerated, right?

"I'm WHAT?"

Virgil and Roman sputtered.

"Haven't you noticed the cameras?!"

"Is THAT what those strange contraptions were?" Janus spoke incredulously. "By God, I thought Thomas was under surveillance."

"Oh my God…"

"The capital of Aus-"

"Wait, you thought Thomas was under surveillance, and you never said anything?"

"Of course not, if he's under surveillance, they would be upset if Thomas knew!"

"First of all, we're imaginary. And second, do you really think Thomas wouldn't have noticed the cameras?"

"He's not exactly the most observant…"

"Janus, seriously, what the fuck."

"What? it's true."

"I know the answer-"

"Get over here, Snakes and Ladders, I need to show you how to use a computer."

"Nah, I'm good."

"Uh uh, you are not going to continue not knowing how to use a computer in this day and age."

"I've survived this long."

"Yeah, well, we'll see how long you survive with my foot up your-"

"Ooooh, spicy!"

"CAN IT, REMUS!"

"GLADLY!"

And then Remus actually canned his mouth and everyone fell silent.

"Very well, then," Deceit said with a sigh, as he took an IPhone out of his pocket. "I'll look it up myself."

And as everyone saw the smirk on his face, they could only stare in shock.

"... The capital of Austria is Vienna…"

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They got played, lol.

Janus just didn't feel like looking it up, so he took the most obviously efficient route, as described here ;3

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