Seth stopped walking the floor of the hallway thin and stared at the chocolate brown eyed, strawberry blonde beauty that finally stepped into the arena. He had been waiting for her. He knew she would return today. WWE had hyped the hell out of Marlow returning.
His palms felt sweaty and his throat was dry. Once again his heart started beating faster by the sight of her. All the love he felt for her hadn't gone away. Things were different now. He knew that. He was with Becky and they had a child, and Marlow looked like a star. She was shining from afar and lighting up the entire place.
"Welcome back, Marlow," Hunter said.
Of course Hunter came to greet Marlow. That left Seth no chance to talk to her right away. He wasn't even sure if she wanted to talk to him. She once was his and he had lost her. All because he was too needy.
She had been given a great opportunity to star in a tv show. She would have to leave for half a year to shoot it. He tried holding her back. He lashed out and tried making her feel bad about following her dreams all because he wanted her to stay with him. Phone calls and maybe a few rare visits for that long wasn't something he could live with.
"If you leave, we're done," he said.
"You're breaking up with me?" She asked.
"You're the one leaving me," he crossed his arms. "Pretty damn selfish."
"Fuck you, Seth!" She sneered. "I've always supported you in everything. Every fucking thing! And now you can't support me? And you have the nerve to call me selfish?"
"Make your choice. Your career or me," he said.
He regretted those words as soon as they left him but he didn't backtrack. He kept standing there with his arms crossed and forced her to make a choice. He could see it in her eyes. She didn't want to leave him but the ultimatum he was forcing on her made her. He felt like an abusive asshole and still he doubled down by hissing at her that she was a selfish bitch.
Those six months turned into something way longer. The show was a hit and she ended up doing three seasons. Between the seasons she shot movies. Her fame really took off. Meanwhile he continued with his life together with Becky. A woman he pretended to love although he never had. And now his real love had returned. He thought she was done with wrestling but apparently not.
"Let's quickly rehearse your entrance. We got some new pyro for you. I think you'll love it," Hunter said.
"That sounds good," Marlow locked eyes with Seth. "Can I get a quick moment first?"
Hunter followed Marlow's gaze and found Seth. He understood. He knew their past as well as everyone else. Seth wasn't exactly quiet on social medias.
"Of course," Hunter said. "I'll be waiting out there for you."
Hunter quickly walked away, nodding at Seth as he passed him. Seth felt even more nervous as Marlow walked towards him. She stopped in front of him and gave him a little smile.
"Hi, Seth," she said. "How are you?"
He wanted to lie and throw in her face that he was fucking ecstatic and flying high on life but he stopped himself before that came out of his mouth. His words had caused him so much pain back then. He would rather be honest with her this time around.
"I'm miserable," he said.
Her facial expression changed to one of concern. She still cared about him. Of course she did. He knew first hand that she came with a big heart when it came to people close to her.
"I'm sorry to hear that," she said.
"I never wanted this life," he said.
"You chose it though," she said.
"Because you left me," he said.
"You can't blame me for the choices you made after I left," she sighed. "For crying out loud, you jumped into bed with Becky less than a week later."
That was the truth. He didn't even wait a week before finding someone else to keep her side of the bed warm.
"Your biggest problem has always been the fear of being alone. You jump from woman to woman without taking a fucking breath. You're not a bad man, Seth. You're a scared man. You fear loneliness more than anything, and that sometimes leads you to some questionable places," she said.
He stepped closer to her and reached for her hand. He only caught her index finger with his own index finger but that little touch was enough to make him start crying. Tears slowly rolled down his cheeks.
"I never wanted this life. You know that. And now I'm fucking stuck with a woman I don't love and a child I don't want," he said.
"It sounds like you got some thinking to do. Figure out what you want in life and take it from there," she said.
"I want you!" He gritted his teeth. "I wanna go away. I wanna be with you. Please go away with me. We can start over. We can be happy. Just the two of us somewhere."
"I don't think so," she said.
He gasped for breath while trying to keep himself from sopping. It was already bad enough that he couldn't control his tears.
"If you're not happy where you are, leave. You're never gonna get out of paying child support though," she sighed. "For once, Seth, deal with your fear. Put yourself in that scary place and be alone. You'll see it's not that frightening once you're there. Work on yourself."
"I'll try for you," he said.
"No, not for me," she said. "Do it for yourself. Prove to yourself that you can be alone and take care of yourself. That you don't need to use women to make yourself feel better."
He nodded. He had lost his words. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. It felt good standing there in a tight embrace again while taking in that sweet raspberry scent that always lingered on her.
"I miss you," he mumbled.
"I'm sorry," she said.
She leaned out and smiled at him. He forced a smile back at her.
"I gotta go. I got some new pyro. That's exciting," she said.
"Kill it out there," he said.
"I always do," she grinned. "Take care, Seth."
She walked past him. He turned around and watched her walk down the hallway while he stood there feeling heartbroken all over again. He dried his eyes with his fingers and thought about the conversation that had just taken place.
He knew she was right with everything she had said. He was too scared to live on his own, but somewhere deep inside he knew that he had to if he ever wanted to get back to a point where he loved his own life. He felt stuck where he was now. He was miserable and couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel. He didn't want to end up as another suicide everyone would pretend not to understand, but he feared that was the direction he was heading if he didn't do something about it soon.