Disclaimer: Paramount own them, I'm just playing.
I guess I should have learned by now that life is unpredictable and the future to which the spirits guide us is rarely the one we envision. Life with Kathryn is certainly full of surprises, every time I think I finally understand her she unveils another facet of her character and makes me think again.
Since that day when we revealed our feelings for each other and bound our lives together body and soul, I have been happier than I ever dreamed possible. We have always been stronger as a team and now we have that strength in our personal as well as our professional partnership. That's not to say that our relationship has been all plain sailing. We have had to learn to separate Kathryn and Chakotay from the captain and first officer, to leave our work outside our quarters. It hasn't been easy and, to my surprise, I am the one who has found it hardest.
Kathryn is every inch the captain on the bridge. She continues with her quest to get Voyager home and to do the best she can for her crew. Since the Equinox incident she has increased her efforts to consider the advice of her officers but she remains willing to make the final call, to take a decision against their recommendation if that seems right to her. Off duty she is loving and giving, the captain steps aside to leave a woman who is caring and passionate, tender and vulnerable. She is unafraid to express her love either verbally or physically.
For myself, I try to detach my love for Kathryn the woman from my respect and admiration for my captain, but there are times when my desire to protect the woman I love from harm, and from herself, overrides my better judgement. On those occasions I have been known to cross the line that separates our professional and personal relationships, only to be reminded with that icy glare that is uniquely the captain's, that it is not my place to publicly question the decisions of my commanding officer.
Those incidents have become less frequent as we have grown into our new relationship but I will never find it easy to watch Kathryn deliberately place herself in danger.
As I had suspected, and much to Kathryn's relief, the crew has accepted and welcomed our open expression of the love we share. Off duty we come together as friends and family, leaving the pressures of our working hours behind and stepping out of the restraints of the command structure. Our closest friends have taken to calling Kathryn by her given name and in return have been allowed to experience the passion and humour that shape the woman who is their captain.
The family feeling aboard Voyager is most evident when we gather to celebrate special holidays; Prixin, Kot'baval, Kwanzaa; but, perhaps because it features in the childhood memories of so many of the crew, Christmas is the most magical celebration and the most eagerly anticipated. For Kathryn and myself Christmas has a special significance because it was at Christmas that Kathryn surprised me with a very special gift.
Christmas on Voyager is marked by an extended celebration on the holodeck. Each year Tom Paris spends weeks developing a new program to mark the holiday and on Christmas Day the program is kept running for all the crew to enjoy. Groups of friends gather to exchange gifts, share a meal or play party games in a relaxed and joyful atmosphere. Tom likes to keep us guessing about the setting and no doubt earns a valuable supply of replicator rations by taking bets on the subject. He certainly likes to vary the scene and highlights have included a sleigh ride with Santa Claus and his reindeer at the North Pole, and a beach barbecue in Australia.
So it was with great anticipation that Kathryn and I approached holodeck one where we had arranged to meet the senior staff and share the festivities with our friends. Tom had warned us to dress warmly so it was no surprise when the doors opened to reveal a snow covered landscape, but this was very different from the arctic scenery that has greeted us on previous occasions. The snow formed a blanket over neat lawns and clipped hedges that edged a sweeping driveway. We trudged through the snow to reach a majestic stone house. It was night-time and the glow of lamps flanking the entrance illuminated a wide flight of shallow steps leading to the doorway. The steps were kept clear of snow by a canopy supported by tall granite pillars. As we approached the wooden door swung open and an elderly gentleman in formal attire ushered us into a wood-panelled hallway where the banister of a curved staircase was trimmed with holly boughs and red ribbons. The sound of laughter and conversation spilled out of a doorway to our left and, after leaving our coats with the holographic butler, we followed the noise to where our friends awaited us.
The large room was lit by sparkling crystal chandeliers suspended from a high ceiling and reflected in the large mirror that hung over a wide fireplace. A log fire crackled in the grate shedding a flickering orange light on the faces of the people gathered in its warmth. B'Elanna was curled up in a high backed armchair with Tom sitting on the rug at her feet. He leapt up to welcome us.
"Kathryn, Chakotay! We've been wondering when you would join us. What kept you?"
"It may be Christmas, Tom, but we still have a ship to run. We had reports to review. But we're here now and this is wonderful! You've outdone yourself!"
Kathryn's eyes were alight with wonder as she surveyed the room.
"Auntie Kathryn?"
Naomi was practically dancing with anticipation.
"Can we open our presents now?"
Kathryn turned her attention to her 'assistant'.
"I'm sorry Naomi, but we all agreed that we wouldn't exchange gifts this year. It takes too many replicator rations."
Naomi's face fell as she studied the faces of the other people in the room seeking confirmation of this terrible news. Seeing our nods of agreement she turned back to Kathryn.
"But there are presents under the tree."
She gestured to the tall pine tree standing in the corner. Sure enough, nestled under the branches decked with twinkling lights and gaudy tinsel, was a pile of brightly wrapped gifts.
"Oh, Naomi, they're just holographic, part of the program. A Christmas tree doesn't look right without presents." Tom explained.
Seeing that Naomi was close to tears Kathryn relented.
"But if anyone can break the rules it's the captain, right Chakotay?"
She held out her hands and I handed her the package I had kept concealed behind my back. Naomi's threatening tears vanished as Kathryn passed her the flat parcel.
"Merry Christmas, Naomi!"
Small hands tore at the wrapping and opened the enclosed box to reveal a child-sized cadet's uniform. Our talkative young crewmember was stunned into silence before she ran to Kathryn and threw her arms around her 'Aunt'. Kathryn returned the hug and bent to place a kiss on the top of the blonde head before disentangling herself and stepping back.
"The 'Captain's Assistant' should have a uniform, but there are conditions attached. You may wear the uniform when you are on duty and only then. For now you'll have two shifts each week of one hour each. If you do well in your Starfleet training and if your other studies aren't affected then we'll consider increasing the time. Is that understood Cadet Wildman?"
"Yes Captain. Thank you Captain." Naomi replied breathlessly. "But please...Can I put it on now?"
Kathryn broke into a smile. "Well, we should check that it fits..."
Naomi didn't need telling twice and she dragged her mother off to help her change. Kathryn and I settled into their now vacant seats on a sofa opposite B'Elanna and Tom chuckled as he re-established himself at her feet.
"Well that's one person who won't forget this Christmas in a hurry!"
"Are you sure this is wise Captain? She is well under the minimum age for entry into the Academy."
Tuvok interjected his customary note of caution but Kathryn was prepared for his objections.
"I know she's young but she's far more advanced than a fully human child of the same age. Besides we may call it Starfleet training but really it will just be the same lessons in science and astrometrics that she has already been studying. There are so few distractions available for a child on Voyager, if this makes her happy then I think it's worth bending the rules."
Tuvok seemed to accept her explanation and further discussion was prevented by the return of the young lady in question, now resplendent in the standard issue jump-suit.
"It fits Captain, look!"
Naomi twirled wildly.
"You look very smart, Naomi. I hope you'll be proud to wear it and won't give me cause to regret breaking the rules about Christmas gifts!"
"I won't Captain, I promise." Naomi said solemnly then broke into a grin. "Thank you Auntie Kathryn!"
Naomi threw herself into Kathryn's lap for another bear hug. I watched until she calmed down and released Kathryn from her embrace. Then, as Naomi settled down on the rug in front of the fire, I turned in my seat to face Kathryn.
"I'm sorry Kathryn but you're not the only one to break the rules."
I handed her a small red velvet box. Taking the box Kathryn gave me a questioning glance.
"Chakotay...?"
"Just open it Kathryn, please."
Under the enquiring gaze of the crew she flipped open the lid to reveal a gold and emerald brooch in the form of a beetle.
"Oh Chakotay, it's beautiful"
"It's based on a form of jewellery that was worn by my ancestors. They called it a Makech."
"A Makech?" Kathryn's head snapped up as she turned to look at me, "Chakotay, is this your way of saying that you don't see a future for us?"
I was amazed by her question.
"You know about the Makech?"
Kathryn gave a faint smile, "I've been doing some research."
"Would one of you care to enlighten us?"
Naturally Tom was the one to speak for the rest of the crew.
"Well Kathryn? You say you've done your research. Do you want to tell them?"
"I don't know if I can tell the story as well as you would, but I can try." She settled back into her seat as she began the story.
"There is an ancient legend among Chakotay's people of a princess who fell in love with a man she would never be permitted to marry. So heartbroken was she that she wept night and day over her forbidden love. A shaman, hearing her cries and learning of her misery, transformed her into a glittering beetle, a piece of living jewellery. Her beloved pinned her to his breast. Thus she spent her life, close to the heart of the one she cherished."
The moment of silence as she finished was broken by Tom.
"Doesn't sound like much of a relationship to me!"
"Don't be such a pig. I think it's a beautiful story. You don't have a romantic bone in your body." B'Elanna berated him.
"I do too. Who programmed this setting? Don't you think it's romantic?"
"Well, yes." B'Elanna conceded, "But I still think you're a pig."
Tom grinned and turned to Kathryn.
"Chakotay still hasn't answered your question, Kathryn."
Kathryn turned to face me.
"That's right Chakotay. So tell me, does this, " she gestured to the Makech, "mean that you can't see a future for us?"
"Oh Kathryn, I told you once that I'd always be with you and I meant it. I'll be beside you for as long as you want me but the next step for us would be marriage and I just don't see how we could marry. Starfleet regulations only allow the captain of a ship to perform the ceremony and you can hardly conduct your own wedding."
"That's true but there are alternatives. That's what my research was about."
I felt my heart skip a beat.
"You've found a way for us to marry that Starfleet will recognise?"
"Actually it's quite simple. The regulations stipulate that any form of marriage that is legal within the Federation will be recognised by Starfleet. If a celebrant is required the captain of a Starfleet vessel may act in that capacity. If not then all that is required is that the marriage is witnessed by a minimum of two senior officers. All we need to do is find a form of marriage that doesn't need a celebrant and then we invite our friends to the wedding!"
I was speechless. Once again Kathryn had managed to surprise me. This time the surprise was on three counts. She knew the story of the Makech, she had been thinking about marrying me and, most stunning of all, she had found a way in which that was possible. Finally I managed to recover enough to ask another question.
"And have you found a suitable ceremony?"
"Yes, and I didn't have to look very far," she smiled up at me. "The ceremony used by your own people would be perfect."
I thought about that for a moment and felt a wave of warmth and happiness pass through me. The marriage ritual of my tribe was conducted by the couple themselves, aided by their family and witnessed by the tribe. I couldn't think of anything more appropriate for a situation such as ours.
"And you would do that Kathryn? You would marry me according to the ritual of my tribe?"
"Yes I would, but there's one problem."
My heart sank.
"What's that?"
"I don't know if you want to marry me. We've never discussed it and you've never asked."
This was one problem I could overcome. I dropped to one knee in front of Kathryn.
"Kathryn Janeway, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"
Her smile lit up her face as she made me the happiest man alive.
"Chakotay, I love you and I thought you'd never ask! I would be proud to marry you."
The cheers and applause of the crowd, who up to now had been watching in silence, echoed around us as I pulled my new fiancée into my arms. I had given her the Makech as a symbol of the strength and depth of my love but Kathryn had given both of us a far greater gift. She had given us our future.