Back with another march flash fiction prompt, baby! (We're not gonna talk about it's April tyvm) I wrote this instead of finishing my essay due to tonight, but honestly, I felt like I needed to commemorate all the big things that have happened recently? Because what else says happy release of Taylor's version of Fearless, happy belated bday to Lil Nas X + happy montero (call me by your name) reaching #1 worldwide, happy script leaks from episodes 15.19 and 15.20, and happy death of prince philip than a fanfic of our favourite gay angel?
This fic does have spoilers for season 4-15.18, as it refers to all the times Castiel turned his back on Heaven and broke a bunch of Heaven's rules, so heads up for that. The prompt for this fic was: breaking the rules (a fitting cas prompt if I do say so myself!). Enjoy!
Michael had been absolutely clear in his instructions: "Grab the Righteous Man's soul from the Pit and return it to it's body so I may have my vessel to defeat Lucifer." Towering above the seraph, Michael's cold eyes do not leave Castiel, as if waiting to find a crack or some indication this particular angel before him would fail him. "Do you understand your task?"
Castiel nodded, as one does not disobey an Archangel. "Yes sir."
"Good. It doesn't matter the casualties, don't stop until you grab it," Michael added, making it clear the task was to obtain his vessel.
It did not matter how many angels died in the process and if Castiel had been introduced to humanity, to doubt and other emotions at the time, perhaps he would've seen the flaws in thinking like that. But he had not, and such forth does not question Michael's word. After all, Michael was the eldest of all angels. He was one of the few who their Father spoke to, and knowing His word, Castiel knows Michael's own word must be almost as important as God's. Besides, Castiel is old enough to know what happens to angels who disobey or question orders - they fall.
So Castiel, the good soldier, nods again and leads his garrison to Hell. They storm the gates as Michael has commanded, and in the midst of the fighting, Castiel flies to the Pit and retrieves the Righteous Man's soul from the Rack.
"Oh, and Castiel?" Michael's voice rang through his head as he reached for the soul, the final parting words the Archangel had told him before leaving. "Do not get attached to it."
Such a silly warning, one might think, for angels are not able to get attached or form connections with things. Especially those below the Archangels in rank. Emotions had been deemed dangerous, tricky things that had caused the Fall, caused the Rebellion, and the remaining Archangels had made it clear how bad those were. And those who forgot, Naomi reminded.
Angels do not feel.
Angels do not get attached.
And yet, when Castiel's hand meets the soul's shoulder, a shudder passes through his grace. The soul is damaged, and has faced the harsh nature of Hell - it has been torn and ripped at, all sharp edges and weeping wounds, and as Castiel touches it, it's emotions seep into his own grace. But still, despite this, he can feel it's strength, it's resilience and Castiel lets some of his grace seep into the soul to ease it's emotions, to patch it's wounds. Without realizing it, the angel mends most of the damage done to the Righteous Man's soul, before returning it to it's body, and that's when Castiel breaks the first rule: don't get attached.
Of course, Castiel doesn't realize this at the time. It becomes such a gradual thing, forming bit by bit, strengthening as time passes. After the Righteous Man - Dean, his name is Dean. A name Michael does not use. All the angels view Dean has the Righteous Man, the Michael Sword. Castiel views him as Dean - is resurrected, Castiel tries to reach out to him. It's purely to keep an eye on him, much like he had been told to, after having delivered the news to Michael.
Michael had told him to ensure Lucifer's agents did not weaken his vessel before the battle could commence - and Castiel had understood his next command. Keep the Righteous Man safe to ensure Heaven wins, whatever the cost. So, as a loyal soldier of Heaven, he does. He allows himself to aid the Righteous Man and the vessel of Lucifer time and time again, and each time he returns to them, he finds himself growing intrigued by them. Dean especially. Up until this point, Castiel has only observed humans from afar, but now, seeing them up close, helping them, he feels like he's truly begun to understand them. He can see the similarities between Dean and Michael too, but where the angels only see the similarities, Castiel sees the differences too.
Unlike Michael, Dean does not see the apocalypse as a war for paradise, of Heaven triumphing over Hell. Rather, he sees how it will affect humans, all those who will die and suffer for some useless battle - and hearing it that way makes Castiel pause and think.
Because despite being told this battle will rid the world of evil and temptation, that Michael will use him to destroy Lucifer, the Serpent, the Fallen Angel of the Pit, the Father of Lies, Dean does not care for that. Instead, as the demons work to break the seals, him, and the vess- Sam work to counteract it. They go against everything Castiel knows and believes, and as Castiel continues to offer his help, he finds himself doing the unthinkable: he asks questions.
Not out loud, no, he knows the consequences of that. But being around Dean, around the Winchesters, he thinks about what they tell him. He thinks about how his superiors and the angels around him seem less and less concerned as more seals break. They are all certain that Lucifer will be sprung from the Cage, Michael himself, and Castiel can't understand what happened once to their dedication to preventing that. Why is it only the Winchesters that don't want the war to happen?
It's being at Dean's side that Castiel truly learns Heaven and Hell aren't so different - they both want their war. They both want their victories over the other, and neither cares about humans if they don't serve them for their tasks. Heaven especially. Perhaps Castiel should've figured this, as angels were soldiers first, not guardians, but he also remembers his Father telling them to love and protect humans.
And if Michael and Heaven can't understand that, then Castiel will do it himself.
With this, he breaks two more rules: He doubts Heaven, and he disobeys his superiors, ignoring the mission they gave him.
An angel shouldn't be able to turn its back on Heaven, not without falling, not with all the effort Michael has put in to keep them loyal, but Dean fascinates Castiel. It's his willingness to not give up, to keep fighting even when the odds are stacked against him, and Castiel follows him wherever he goes. He helps the Winchesters try to stop the seals from breaking, he joins them on hunts, sits in the back of their car, and acts very unangelic.
He turns his back against Heaven again and again and again.
He kills angels for Sam and Dean, he talks back and asks questions, and allows himself to willingly fall further and further from God's Grace.
Castiel lets Dean (and Sam) call him Cas, removing the suffix that ties him to Heaven, to God. No longer is the shield of God. He's just Cas, and while the butchering of a Heavenly name should warrant the two hunters facing the wrath of heaven, Cas welcomes it with a smile. After all, Cas has made it clear at this point, that he will not serve Heaven anymore, will not listen to Michael's orders, putting himself instead on the side of Humanity. Cas, the angel formerly known as Castiel, does not quite saunter from Heaven's light, or take a thousand-year-free-fall to Hell, takes a conscious step off the edge of Heaven right into Humanity's arms with a grin.
After stopping the showdown at Stull Cemetery, Cas begins breaking rules like it's a checklist.
He rebels against Raphael, the only remaining Archangel.
He starts a rebellion in Heaven and then kills Raphael.
He kills angels - old friends, new enemies, all those who were his brothers and sisters - for the sake of two humans.
Cas questions God's plan and then calls himself the new God in Raphael's place.
He works with demons, he falls, he betrays Sam and Dean, his friends, all of Heaven.
He lets himself get attached, feel emotions and care about other humans, picking humanity over his siblings each time.
Regardless of the chances he's been given to come back, Cas turns his back on his angelic mission, on what the angels say is God's plan, and no amount of threats and brainwashing and words can stop him. (Even death does not stick for Cas, who comes back as often as the Winchesters.)
In twelve years of being on Earth, of being in the presence of Dean, there is one final rule that he breaks.
Now, this isn't a spoken rule that he was told by his superiors, but it's a rule passed by mouth from those in his garrison and others he trained with. A rule made way back after the angels fell, when Nephilim first sprouted up - never fall in love with humans. Taboo, a rule that when broken was as good as death, as good as falling, as good as betrayal against Heaven. Angels were not allowed to fall in love.
Cas breaks that rule too. For how could one look at Dean Winchester and not fall in love? How could he not care so deeply about this one human who taught him everything, who shared his passions and showed him kindness and called him family when Heaven deemed him broken? How could he not love this human whose soul he patched up in Hell, who watched time in and time out, put himself so selflessly on the line for his brother, for their friends, for all of the world, expecting nothing in return? How was Cas expected to not care about him after all of that?
Chuck and a great deal of Heaven had pointed out time and time again that Castiel had come out wrong, a bit broken, a crack in his chassis, and perhaps they were right. Maybe he was broken, maybe he had fallen the moment he lay hands on Dean's soul in Hell, or had shattered himself at the altar of Dean Winchester, but he was okay with that. Because Dean cared for him back, and Cas easily could say these last few years by the hunter's side were some of the best, regardless of the good, bad and ugly that came with it.
"I love you," he says with a smile. It's not the way he planned this to go, and Dean looks confused and heartbroken, but Cas does not regret the words. He does not regret the rules he has broken to get here, even as Billie threatens to break down the door and kill them both. Nothing could ever stop Cas from breaking those rules again if given the chance - because Dean Winchester had been saved when Cas had pulled him from Hell, and Cas had been saved the moment he met Dean on earth.
(and perhaps, for all that the grief he had been given over the rules he had broken, he should be given some credit for the one he had kept: Keep the Righteous Man safe. Maybe not without getting attached, but, as the Empty swallows him and Billie up, he likes to believe that that little detail hardly matters. He still kept the most important one.)
let me know what you guys thought! My classes should be done soon and then I'll have a bunch of things posted that I've written and just need to edit!
-Twist