When Aaron Burr met Alex, he didn't expect for that man to ruin his life.
But he did, anyway.
At first, he'd been friendly, polite enough, all the things a good, decent human being was supposed to be. However, as soon as he met other people, he went off and started a whole squad, all to himself. Burr was excluded.
That was fine. Burr didn't need to be very close friends with Alex, or any of the Hamil-squad. At least they still hung out around him. Never mind that basically every third word they said was dissing him and his life philosophy.
Talk less, smile more. It's what he kept on doing, even when they made fun of him for it.
"Burr, check what we've got." Alex told him. "Mr. Lafayette…"
"Monsieur Lafayette." The Frenchman corrected amiably, and Hamilton nodded along. "Hard rock, like Lancelot."
"Oh, I'm sorry, mon ami, were you trying to rap?" Laf wondered.
"Oui." Alex narrowed his eyes.
"How's this?" The Marquis stood up. "Oui, Oui, mon ami, je m'appelles Lafayette. The Lancelot of the revolutionary set. I came from afar just to say bonsoir to the king. Casse toi, who's the best? C'est moi!"
"I don't know what half those words meant, but that was awesome!" Hercules enthused, banging his mug on the table.
Burr silently smiled, and nodded his enthusiasm. It was cool that Alex had friends. That was cool. Laurens began another verse, about the legalization of slavery. He was right, slavery was evil, but they all seemed so… radical. Couldn't they try a different, less threatening approach? Maybe he would try to speak their own language, the rap thing they were doing. Once John had finished, Burr immediately jumped in.
"Geniuses, lower your voices. You keep out of trouble, and you double your choices. I'm with you, but the situation is fraught. You've got to be carefully taught; if you talk, you gonna get shot."
"Not bad!" Lafayette grinned, and applauded. He was the only one.
"Uh, Laf… you know what he said, right?" John said.
"Uh, no…" The Marquis admitted. "I was paying attention to the rhyme… I don't speak English too good."
Alex sighed, and patted his French friend on the back. "He said we shouldn't fight."
"ONARCHY!" Lafayette declared, pounding the table with his fists. "I mean… How you say… ANARCHY!"
Hercules face-palmed, as Burr frowned in confusion. "Why is it anarchy?"
"Without fighting, there is no government." Laurens shrugged.
"No…" Burr shook his head. "Without some semblance of order, there is no government. See, the root word there is govern…"
"Yeah, thanks for the English lesson, Burr." Hercules rolled his eyes. "Only one of us can't speak the language."
Laf grinned happily, glad to be acknowledged.
So, Burr piped down. That is, until Alex started publicly bashing a young graduate for speaking his mind in the square, just a few days later.
Like, he was being really, really mean. And there was really no point in doing so. This Seabury guy had just as much right to his own opinion as Hamilton did. When Alex started comparing the poor fellow to a mangy dog, that was when Burr officially jumped in. "Alexander, please." He grabbed his friend's sleeve insistently. "He's got the freedom of speech, just as much as we do. Let him be."
"Freedom of speech isn't a thing, yet." Alex corrected him in a highly patronizing manner. "We've got to establish the government, first, then make a constitution, then we can make an amendment that talks about freedom of speech."
Burr blinked in confusion. "But… That doesn't seem illogical to you at all?"
"Nope!" Alex smiled cheerfully. "I'd rather be divisive, than indecisive. Drop the niceties."
"Nice rhyme…" Burr had to admit. "But if we're going to have a new nation, we need to stand together-"
Before Burr could finish what he was saying, a British lieutenant marched up into the square, and stood upon the soap box Seabury had been using, before, humiliated, he'd slunk back home, never to be taken seriously again.
Fast forward twenty-four years, we find our under-rated hero passing out pamphlets for his campaign for presidency. Imagine, he told himself, imagine being the third president of the United States of America!
Despite how hard the past two decades had been, what with the love of his life dying, and all his political pursuits being one-upped by everything Hamilton did, and having no friends, and caring for his daughter, and all that, things might just have begun to look up. Maybe?
As he passed people in the street, he heard the whispers, and couldn't help but smile.
"Isn't that Aaron Burr?"
"I can't believe we're here with him!"
"He seems approachable… Like, you could grab a beer, with him!"
Humming to himself as he made his way through the uptown streets, weary, yet excited, he rapped upon the door of the first person he had ever been able to truly call "friend". Sure, Alex didn't like him, anymore, because he had taken his father-in-law's senate seat. But, then again, how many times had Alex taken Burr's political opportunities? Surely, it wasn't that much of a big deal. Hamilton must have simply been having a bad day, the day he found out.
"Well, if it isn't Aaron Burr, Sir!" Alex greeted with a forced smile, as he opened the door.
"Alexander!" Burr clapped his hands gleefully. He hadn't seen him since his son, Phillip, had died. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine." Alex lied. "But what about you? You've created quite a stir."
"I'm going door-to-door!" Burr explained in excitement. He hadn't been this hyped since talking to General Washington about accepting the position of right-hand-man. Hopefully, this situation would turn out better than that had.
"You're openly campaigning." Hamilton observed.
"Sure!" That was a pretty good term.
"That's new." Alex quipped.
Oh, dear. He was upset. Perhaps a rhyme would cheer him up. Let's see, what had he just said…? Openly campaigning? "Honestly, it's kinda draining!"
He didn't even smile. It must be a bad time. He began edging backwards nervously. If there was anything he didn't want to do, it was making his only friend upset. If Hamilton didn't want to talk, that was fine, he'd come back another day.
"Burr, is there anything you wouldn't do to get this?" Alex stopped Burr's retreat.
"Um…" Burr hesitated. "Not that I can think of. I'm pretty set on chasing what I want. You know what?" He looked up with a grin.
"What?"
Burr shrugged cheerfully, and held out a pamphlet. "I learned that from you."
Alex quirked a smile, and took the slip of paper. "Cool. Nice talking to you, Aaron."
Burr grinned, and nodded. "Have a nice day. Say hello to Eliza, for me?"
"Yeah, sure…" With that, Alex closed the door.
That had actually gone better than Burr had been expecting.
On election day, Burr eagerly awaited the publication of the newspapers, announcing who, exactly had won the election. There was actually a decent amount of people on his side, and he'd handed out thousands of pamphlets, and kissed babies until he couldn't feel his lips, so he, perhaps, had a fighting chance, against Jefferson. If not, that was cool. He could settle for vice president.
When he picked up the paper, that day, his face fell.
Aaron Burr: Nuisance with No Sense! The headlines blared. The rest of the article went on to explain how terrible of a person Burr was, how he was dangerous, a disgrace, with no morals. All written by Alexander.
Burr's eyes filled with angry tears as he scanned the rest of the paper, which finally posted the winner of the election. Thomas Jefferson, obviously.
This was just mean of Alex… Burr had thought they were friends! They'd had beers together, talked about their kids, sang in harmony, and performed rap battles. Burr liked Alex. He was a good man. But this was just cruel, even for him. Why would he publicly defame him? And "Nuisance with No Sense"? That was the same insult he'd used against John Adams. Did Alex not even think him worth thinking up a new insult?
It was fine.
It was cool.
It was okay.
Blinking away tears, Burr leaned back and took a deep breath. If that was the way Hamilton felt, that didn't reflect on Burr. It was just an opinion. At least he'd come in second. Jefferson came in second to Adams, and then he became president. Maybe next time! Hurriedly, he jumped up from his chair, and raced to the Capitol building, where Jefferson, and his bestie, Madison were sure to be, getting ready for the inauguration.
"Jefferson!" He exclaimed breathlessly, bursting in through the doors. "I just heard the news! Congratulations on your victory!" He enthused, and ran up to shake Jefferson's hand.
"Thanks, Burr!" Jefferson smirked.
"I look forward to our partnership!" Burr grinned cheerfully, stubbornly making this work for him.
"Our… what?" Thomas raised an eyebrow speculatively.
"Our partnership!" Burr repeated. "As your vice president, you know?"
To Burr's surprise, the newly elected president, began laughing. He… he hadn't said anything funny. But, apparently, Jefferson thought this was the most hilarious joke he'd ever heard. "Yeah, right!" He wheezed between chortles. "You hear this guy?" He addressed Madison, who was seated in his chair, writing something down. "The man openly campaigns against, me, talking about, 'I look forward to our partnership!'. If you don't like me, don't try to team up with me!"
"It is a little weird that the guy who comes in second gets to be vice president." Madison agreed. "That doesn't mean he doesn't like you."
"No, you're cool!" Burr agreed. "I just… that was the rule, that I'm second, so I'm vice president. I like you as a person, you know, I just don't politically agree with you."
"Ooh, you know what?" Jefferson grinned, suddenly struck with an inspiration. "We can change that!"
"That you're cool?" Burr guessed.
"No, that'll never change. I meant the vice-president-thingy." Thomas corrected. "You know why? 'Cause I'm the president."
There was dead silence in the room, until Jefferson cleared his throat awkwardly. "Um… So… when you see Hamilton? Thank for the endorsement, would you?"
"Jerk!" Madison exploded, jumping to his feet, and with a shock, Burr realized he was addressing Jefferson. "You total meanie!"
"What?" Jefferson raised his eyebrows. "I didn't do anything to you!"
"Yeah, but you were super mean to Burr!" Madison insisted, slightly red in the face with anger. "Of all the rude, jerkish… you're the jerkiest jerk since beef jerky!"
Jefferson blinked in surprise, totally confused, and a little frightened of this new, furious Madison. "Have you ever said a nice thing to him in your life?" The small man continued. "Burr's a nice guy! When I said it was a little weird, I didn't mean, kick him out, I meant, for future reference, it might be a good idea to change that. That's all!"
"But he's…"
"APOLOGIZE!"
Jefferson turned to Burr. "Geez, man, I'm sorry…"
"LIKE YOU MEAN IT!"
Jefferson shook his head. "Who are you, my mom?"
Madison glared ferociously. "What? No! I'm not half so ugly!"
Jefferson's eyebrows shot up. "You calling my mom ugly?"
"Uglier than your attitude, son!"
"I'm not your son!"
Madison crossed his arms. "Now you sound like Hamilton."
Jefferson clapped a hand to his heart, truly offended. "How dare you?! You're not my friend, anymore!"
"Do you know how immature you sound, right now?" Madison glared.
"I don't care!" Thomas stomped his foot like a toddler. "You know… You know… I was going to make you vice president because Burr's a loser… but now I'm not going to!"
"Good!"
"Fine!"
"Awesome!"
"Well, have fun with your new loser friend!" Thomas declared, and turned on his heel, coattails flying, and stormed out.
"Sorry about him." Madison slumped back into his chair. "He can be inconsiderate, sometimes."
"Oh…" Burr stared with wide eyes in the direction he'd left. "So, he didn't mean it?"
"No, he did." Madison shrugged. "He just doesn't know that not everything you mean, you should say." Seemingly exhausted from his shouting match, he pulled a handkerchief and coughed a few times into it. Immediately, Burr offered him a cough drop, and patted him kindly on the back.
"Thank you." Madison smiled happily.
"No problem." Burr acknowledged. "So… am I your new loser friend?"
"You're not a loser." Madison promptly replied. "That part, he didn't mean. But if you want to be my friend, no one's stopping you."
Burr's eyes widened happily. Now that Alex ditched him, and publicly defamed him, and everything, he didn't have any friends, anymore. So it might be nice to have Madison on his side. "You mean it?" He hopefully smiled.
"Sure." Madison responded.
And there it was. They were friends, and the insults didn't matter so much, anymore.
So, this is my first Hamilton story, and it's basically a crack!fic. It's loosely based off a roleplay me and my friendo Scarlett were doing. Sorry if I got the characters off, and keep in mind that I wrote this instead of sleeping.
No authors were harmed in the making of this fic.
TheOnlyHuman.