Seconds after Arthur Pendragon had shut the door to his chamber, he turned and looked to where his court sorcerer was seated in one of the plush red armchairs by the fire. It appeared he was sharpening one of Arthur's daggers.
"Why are you here?"
The question came out as more of a demand for an answer, rather than a polite request for one.
Merlin startled at the sound of Arthur's voice, his hands waivered, and he nearly dropped the small blade to the floor, but somehow managed to hold onto it. Wordless magic had probably been involved. The whetstone, however, clattered to the ground at his feet.
Merlin reached down, and picked up the sharpening tool. He placed it on a side table to the left of his chair.
Then, Merlin looked over to Arthur who had been observing him the whole time.
"Arthur -"
The King strode toward him and carefully removed his dagger from Merlin's grip, before the man could injure himself. Arthur then nestled it in his right boot in its usual place. After, he rested his hands atop both of Merlin's shoulders and peered into his eyes.
"You were nearly killed. Why on earth are you in my chambers, sharpening my bloody dagger?"
Arthur watched while Merlin stared at his stomach for a moment, as it was eye level, then allowed his eyes to travel up to meet the concerned gaze boring into him to admit softly, "I needed some busywork, to take my mind from what happened earlier."
Arthur sighed.
He could not begrudge Merlin that, as every warrior dealt with the aftermath of their near death in a different fashion.
Arthur observed as Merlin grimaced, then said, "I know you said I should rest, but every time I tried, all I could think about was the fact that had I not been there, you would have died."
The way Arthur's heart palpitated at the candid words; oh, he had not expected that sort of response.
In a split second decision, fueled by raw emotion, he removed his hands from Merlin's shoulders, and ripped off his gloves. He tossed them behind him, not really caring where they fell, at that moment. The sound of them hitting the floor was the furthest thing from his mind as he reached his right hand down, and cupped Merlin's cheek.
Merlin's eyes found his own again, and widened.
Arthur searched his friend's face for any hint that he might be rejected, any reason why Merlin might shy away from his touch, but he found none.
"Merlin," Arthur said, unable yet to quantify the depth of his emotions right then.
Instead, he stroked the sorcerer's cheek with his thumb slowly, hoping that would be enough.
Merlin's lips parted softly, and he sighed, whilst leaning into the touch.
Seconds later, Merlin placed his left hand over Arthur's right, and returned the gesture in kind. They remained in that position, contemplating each other and comforting one another, for a while.
After some time, Arthur removed his hand, and stepped back, needing a break from the intensity of the emotions he felt pooling in his gut. Instead, he opted to begin removing the chainmail he had yet to take off. Something snagged though, and soon Merlin was on his feet and in front of Arthur.
"May I?"
Arthur considered the way Merlin had all but whispered the question, and when their eyes met again, he felt his heart pound harder at the intensity that radiated from the blue irises before him.
Rather than speak, he chose to simply nod.
Deft fingers, long used to the motions required for removing his assorted garments, slipped them all off carefully, until he reached the white tunic that remained beneath everything.
Once it was done, Arthur considered that he did not wish for Merlin to leave his side just yet, so he reached out and placed a hand on the man's waist, while allowing the other to grasp the nape of Merlin's neck softly. Together, as if it were the most natural thing, their foreheads dipped toward one another, and stopped only once they were pressed against each other.
The two men stood there, drinking in the closeness that the familiar touches had brought, while breathing slightly heavier than normal. It was a heady feeling, for Arthur at least, who hoped that he had not gone too far. Merlin had yet to shove him away, or tell him off, though, so he took that as a good sign.
A hand came to rest on Arthur's left hip, grasping on firmly, but not in a way that would hurt.
Then, another hand clasped onto his right cheek, and Merlin began stroking it with his own thumb.
Tentatively, Arthur drew Merlin closer, which eliminated the space between them, so that their bodies were flush against each other. A small sound escaped Merlin's lips, and Arthur's eyes flicked up to his for the first time since they had begun touching in that manner.
Merlin's eyes were heavy lidded now, and his lips were trembling slightly.
"May I?"
Merlin nodded adamantly, and the dam that had held back the last vestiges of the tidal wave of emotions that Arthur kept close was well and truly demolished with that one simple gesture.
He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Merlin's. Arthur felt the other man sigh against his mouth, which did many things to his body all at once. However, this was their first kiss, which meant he did not want to rush it. So, he waited for Merlin to signal that he was ready for more.
It took less time than he thought, because he felt Merlin slip his fingers into his hair, then fist it as tightly as he could without harming Arthur, it seemed to him. Arthur, being only human, removed his mouth to gasp aloud, and come up for air. Merlin appeared to take this as reason enough to begin kissing the left side of Arthur's neck, which was a whole new sensation he had not expected to feel just yet, but really, he could not find it in him to complain.
Teeth then lips enclosed his left earlobe after, and a whimper escaped the King's lips.
Warm air huffed against his left ear and a keening noise escaped his lips.
"Arthur."
Unlike earlier, this utterance of his name was breathless, and dare Arthur think, reverent. It had been said against his ear in that way, which made him weak at the knees. Whether he would give Merlin the satisfaction of knowing that was still up for debate, though.
He felt Merlin draw back from him, and remove his hands from his person.
For a moment, Arthur thought that perhaps Merlin had met his threshold, and maybe had second thoughts. That fear was doused though, when he felt long, thin fingers and warm palms press into his chest, beneath his tunic. So, he placed both hands around Merlin's hips, and held on.
Their lips met again, but this time there was no doubt it would not be a slow sort of snogging; there were tongues and teeth involved, as well as suckling on one another's lips. It was intense, and soon both were gasping for air again. After having more than enough pass through his lungs, Arthur began gently pushing so that he could get Merlin's back against a wall. He placed both hands on either side of Merlin's face, once he had accomplished his mission, and kissed him in earnest again. Merlin was grasping his hair with both hands, tugging in a way that was sensual and demanding. Both were rocking their lower extremities against one another's, and the small fire that had been building in Arthur's gut had become a wildfire.
When they broke apart, Arthur gazed into Merlin's eyes, and dipped his forehead so that both were pressed against each other again. Rather than closing his eyes though, he reveled in the sight of a well-kissed Merlin, gasping for air, because of him.
"Gods, Merlin," Arthur found himself saying, before he could think better of it.
"Let's not bring anyone else into this, hm?"
A smile crinkled itself into Merlin's features, and Arthur found himself huffing a laugh in response.
The two stood there, marveling at the other for a few moments, rather than throwing themselves around each other again, as they had before.
While Arthur would not have minded doing just that, what they were doing felt important, and therefore, he could not bear to rush it. They had waited, or at least he had, for what felt like ages, to cross the threshold of something more. Though his body had other ideas, Arthur still wished to take his time in learning this new part of Merlin, his closest friend, and the only one to lay claim to his heart so fully that he could not see anyone else beyond him, in that regard.
At one time, that had not been the case, but none of that mattered anymore. Arthur had become truly besotted with the man in front of him, and until that night, he had been unsure whether Merlin felt even a sliver of what he did. Part of Arthur wished to continue what they had been doing, but he realized he could not do so without knowing what drove Merlin to hold him in such a way as he never had before. Arthur trusted that regardless of how Merlin felt, he would tell him the truth.
Merlin surged forward again, now having caught his breath, but unaware of the revelation that Arthur had uncovered, only to be stopped by a calloused hand against his chest.
A raised eyebrow challenged Arthur, while Merlin clearly wondered why he had been stopped.
"Before this goes any further, I need to speak with you."
Merlin's face became unreadable, in a way that at one time Arthur had mistaken for a lack of thoughts, when really behind those guileless eyes there had always been so much more.
"Okay."
Arthur turned and walked to stand behind his desk, as he knew if he did not put some space between himself and Merlin, he would falter and shove off the conversation for a later time. Were he to do that though, his heart might pay for it some day. He was unsure if he could take another heartbreak.
Merlin remained at the wall, with his arms behind his back, bracing himself on the stone he was leaning against.
Arthur gripped the back of the chair behind his desk, and looked down. He searched for words, hoping that what he might say would be enough to convey exactly how he felt, and had done so for quite some time. When he thought that he had a semblance of something worth speaking aloud, he looked up again and bore his eyes into Merlin's, from across the chamber.
"Earlier today, when I thought I might lose you, I considered if that were to happen, that I might never enjoy the sunshine again. Afterall, what good is sunshine, if you're not here to enjoy it with me?"
A look of amusement overtook Merlin's features.
Arthur was unsure whether he should brace himself for rejection, or worse, ribbing.
"You know, you told Sir Leon that you did not enjoy poetry, but a confession like that says otherwise."
It was not what Arthur had expected. In his shock, he watched warily as Merlin strode over to him, only to halt directly before him. There was hardly any space between them, then.
"I have a secret to tell you," Merlin whispered conspiratorially, while placing his left hand on Arthur's chest as he did.
"What's that?" Arthur asked, still unsure where it was headed.
Merlin looked him square in the eyes, and said, "I love you, too, clotpole."
A fond smile slid onto Merlin's face, as Arthur's heart overflowed with happiness he thought at one time that he might never have.
Rather than kiss, as they had done before, Merlin came forward, and embraced him. Arthur found his head falling against Merlin's chest. The other man held him close, as he pressed kisses or his face onto the crown of Arthur's head, while rubbing soft ministrations into his back. They stood there, wound around each other in that manner, for quite some time. To Arthur, it felt like finally coming home.
AN: Hi, this is a repost from my AO3 account. Slowly, I'm migrating some of those fics here. Anyways, if you've made it this far, thank you, and have a great day!
