Title: Always Been You
Pairings: Mark/Lexie storyline with appearances by the whole gang.
Warning: May have adult themes throughout the story. Will let you know at each chapter.
Summary: Mark knew from the moment he saw Lexie Grey that she was going to change his world. He just never knew how much. Lexie never understood the meaning of the word "soulmate" until she met Mark. My take on the Mark/Lexie love story. Might include some storylines from the show which could end differently.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They belong to the show and the fans of GA.
A/N: I love to write and I have always loved these characters. I hope you will like this. Not sure how many chapters and how long I will take it…it will all depend on you! Love feedback and reviews, so please drop some comments my way. ;-)
Chapter 1 – A Relationship
Teach me.
Lexie sat at Meredith's kitchen counter, a cup of coffee in her hand and her lip between her teeth as her mind went back to the moment her status with Mark Sloan changed from teacher, friend, acquaintance…to something more.
We can't do this, you're Little Grey, and I promised, and... I'm your teacher. She recalled him saying.
He was trying so hard to turn her down and push her away. He kept looking between her and the door, and she could tell he was debating how to get her the heck back out that door, but she was not going to budge. For the first time in her life, she was so sure of her actions and what she wanted, and she wasn't going to let this go without a fight.
Teach me. Teach me. Come on, am I really so bad? She retorted.
She saw it. The moment she had won and broke his steel resolve. The moment he let his passion and want for her overrule this ridiculous request that her sister and soon to be brother-in-law had demanded of him—to say away from her. That she was off limits. She was Little Grey.
She wanted to feel bad about the rock and hard place she was putting Mark in, but in this moment…she couldn't seem care. How could she when this, right now, it felt so damn right between them.
No. I am. He had said before he took the last few steps and pulled her face to his, crashing his lips to her own.
It's cliché—she knows—to say that when his lips met hers…it was like a crackle of electricity had been sparked. Almost like the static shock when you do laundry, but just not painful and extremely exciting. She gravitated towards the feeling and held on for dear life.
The way his hands caressed her face as his lips went from soft and coaxing to demanding and possessive. One thing was for sure…Mark Sloan was a damn good kisser. She tried to think back to all of her boyfriends and lovers before Mark, and nothing even compared to the way he was kissing her right now.
When his teeth grazed her bottom lip, biting until she opened up and gave herself to him, his tongue swept in and took over making her moan in ways she didn't even know she could.
"Lexie."
Her forehead puckered because that wasn't the way she recalled her name falling from his lips all breathy and full of desire.
"Hello…earth to Lexie!"
Lexie shook her head snapping out of her trip down memory lane to see that her sister, Meredith, was staring at her expectantly.
"Huh? Sorry," she said, releasing her bottom lip and bringing her now luke warm coffee to her lips to take a sip.
"You're not hungover, are you?" Meredith asked.
Lexie shook her head. "No, sorry, was just thinking."
It had been the first time in a month since she and Mark had slept together that night at his hotel that they hadn't been together every night since. But, the girls: her sister Meredith, Cristina, Izzie, and April all wanted a girl's night at her sister's house. This involved drinks, talking surgery and of course the hot men of Seattle Grace.
That also meant the boys: Derek, Mark, and Owen were having a night of their own at Joe's. This also included Mark's best friend and fellow senior resident Callie who pretty much hung out with them all the time anyway.
"Thinking about what?" Meredith asked, as she turned back to the coffee pot and poured herself a fresh cup that Lexie had brewed not too long ago.
"Uh…that I have rounds and need to get going," she lied.
Lexie took another long gulp fully aware that her sister was watching her intently and could tell that rounds was not the thing that had been on her mind. God, she had to get better at not being such an open book with her thoughts and emotions.
"What's going on with you and Mark Sloan?"
Lexie coughed, some of the coffee in her mouth pouring back into the cup and dribbling down her chin. She used the back of her hand to wipe the excess liquid from her mouth and chin.
"W—what? Wha—what do you mean what is going on? Nothing is going on. Why would y-you even ask that?" she rambled on.
Meredith took another sip, watching her a moment, leaning against the counter as her free hand rested against her stomach. Lexie could see the beautiful engagement ring that adorned her finger. Derek Shepherd, Seattle Grace's attending and badass neurosurgeon, had proposed two months prior and they couldn't be happier together. She couldn't help feel just a stab of jealousy that her sister found her person.
"Because you have been on his service for the last week," she replied.
Lexie shrugged. "I am enjoying plastics."
Meredith raised an eyebrow at her taking another sip. It made Lexie even more nervous. "I didn't realize you were so interested in specializing in plastic surgery."
Lexie sighed. Why did everyone think that plastics was all just about boob and butts. "Plastics has taken some pretty remarkable cases. Ma—Dr. Sloan just not long ago made someone actually speak after years of not having a voice. There is so much more, Mer, so much more," she answered.
"Hmph."
"What?"
Meredith's eyes narrowed. "I don't like this."
That surprised Lexie. "Like what?"
"That dopey look you have when you talk about plastics and Mark Sloan."
Lexie looked away and hopped off the stool to place her cup in the sink. "That is ridiculous. There is no dopey look, and there is nothing and I mean nothing going on between me and Mark Sloan."
Her sister looked at her thoughtfully, before smiling. "Good. Because he isn't right for you. He's—"
"I know, I know," she cuts her off with a groan. "He's Seattle Grace's resident man whore. The man who can't and won't commit to one person. Why are we even talking about this?"
Lexie hated when her sister and Derek talked about Mark in this way. Maybe in the past that was the way Mark was, but with her, he was different. She couldn't herself pinpoint why it was that way, but she could feel it deep in her bones that Mark just wasn't using her for sex. As the rumor mill around the hospital said, theirs a Mark fan club willing and ready if he turned that charm on them. She just ignored it and made sure not to give it any thought.
Still, she knew that her sister and Derek were only looking out for her, and they both knew Mark and his womanizing ways well before she ever knew him. The thing that bothered her the most is that they didn't seem willing to see who he was now versus who he may have been in the past. That he could and has changed. She smiled to herself and liked the idea that she was the only one to see and believe this.
Meredith shrugged. "You're my sister. I am just looking out for you and for soon to be hubby," she said with a smile. "Mark and Derek finally squashed the history with Addison…and with him and I getting married the last thing anyone needs is more issues. Not sure if their friendship could survive anymore major fallouts. Plus, he's way too—" her sister starred at her coffee cup thinking before she finally landed with "—experienced for you."
That's what I like most. Lexie thought to herself. Teach me.
"Well, thanks for the pep talk, but I gotta go. I have to get to my rounds or Cristina will kill me," Lexie answered wanting out of this conversation.
Meredith smiled. "Yeah, I guess you better. See you later."
"See you later."
"Did you talk to her yet?" Callie asked Mark, as she approached the nurse's station.
"Talk to who?" Mark asked, starring at his first file for his patient's surgery that was scheduled in just over an hour.
Callie slapped his arm. "Arizona. You promised that you would talk to her and talk me up. Remember."
Mark closed the file and placed it back on the nurse's station. "Oh. Yeah. No, not yet."
Callie gaped. "What do you mean not yet. You promised." She pouted.
"I know, I know. I promise I will. I have just been a little preoccupied lately."
Callie rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know…" she said making gagging sounds.
Mark grinned. Callie was the only person that knew about his secret meetings with Lexie and their time together. He liked that he had at least someone to talk too about it since it had to be a secret from everyone else.
"What? You don't like Lexie?" He asked, lowering his voice and looking around to make sure no one was listening to their conversation.
"Of course, I like her. Whether it will last…" she let the sentence trail off.
Mark's face blanched, trying to hide the hurt from his best friends' words. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, come on, Mark. You sleep with anything that walks and hate being tied down to one person specifically. Besides, she's Little Grey," she replied as if the reasons were so obvious.
"Okay, first, keep your voice down," he snapped looking around the nurses' station. "You don't think I know who she is? What does that have to do with anything?"
Callie sighed. "The fact that she is your best friend's future wife's sister who specifically warned you to not put Big Sloan anywhere near Little Grey."
Mark gritted his teeth. He really hated being told what to do by anyone. Still, as crappy as the reasons were and annoying as Derek was about his interference, he knew that both his best friend and Meredith were coming from a place of love when it came to Lexie—in their own way. Didn't mean he had to like it.
After everything that had happened with Addison and the role he played in their breakup and then their eventual divorce—Derek had made it clear that Mark had owed him this favor. This one thing. Stay away from Little Grey.
He hated that he couldn't give it to him.
He was about to respond when the very person they were discussing had just turned down the hallway and making a beeline directly for them. He couldn't help but break into a grin and feel his heart skip a beat just at the sight of her.
This doesn't happen to me.
"Ugh," Callie groaned rolling her eyes. She had seen Lexie coming too. "You two are just disgusting cute. Make it stop."
"And when you get with Arizona, I don't want to hear a word when I make fun of you," he retorted.
Callie bit her lip trying to hide her smile, but Mark saw it anyway.
"Dr. Sloan. Dr. Torres," Lexie greeted coming to a stop in front of them.
"Dr. Grey," Mark replied, his voice low and throaty.
Her cheeks turned a shade of pink and he liked the obvious effect he was having on her.
"And that's my cue to leave," Callie said. "Get it done, Sloan. You promised," she warned, before turning and leaving in the opposite direction.
"Promised what?" Lexie asked as she turned back to him.
He grinned. "Not important. What can I do for you, Dr. Grey?"
She licked her lips before slowly meeting his gaze. "Cristina assigned me to your service today."
"Alright."
"We need to talk."
His grin faded when he saw her brows pinched together. She gripped her entwined hands tightly, and was beginning to sway back and forth from her left foot to her right foot. Whatever it was that she wanted to talk about, he didn't seem to have a good feeling.
Is she attempting to break this off?
"Ok, let's go to my office," he recommended turning to move towards that direction.
Once they were both inside his office, he shut the door, turned and faced her crossing his arms.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"Meredith is onto us," she answered pacing back and forth.
"Onto what?"
Lexie stopped, putting her hand on her hip. "Us. You and me. She corned me this morning asking me directly what was up with you and I and why I was on your service so much."
Mark sighed. "Well, that would be because Cristina assigned you to my service and you have said more that one that you are interested in plastics. Has that changed?"
"No. I am still very interested in plastics. And I enjoy learning all that I have from you. You're a great teacher."
He wiggled his eyebrows. "I know. And I still have a ton more to enlighten you with."
She slapped his arm. "Behave."
"No."
He yanked her coat until she was encased in his arms. He knew it as risky in that anyone could stop by his office and catch them, especially when he had a surgery that was scheduled to start in less than an hour. But last night was the first night in thirty days since she showed up at his hotel room begging him to teach her, that they hadn't spent the night together. He didn't like the feelings in stirred within him when he had gone to bed and woke up alone without her in his arms.
"Mark…"
"I missed you last night," he confessed, pulling her fully into his arms, her head resting under his chin as he placed a kiss on the top of her hair.
She sighed contently. She never could resist him once he had her in his arms. "I missed you too."
"Yeah?"
He felt her head bobble up and down. After another moment, she pulled away and he could see the worry was back in her eyes.
"What are we going to do about Meredith? I'm telling you; she suspects something and I can sense she is going to be watching us closely. Especially after Cristina assigned me to you again today."
Mark sat on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms against his chest. "What do you want to do?"
She shrugged, and then bit her lip. Her tall tale sign that she did have an idea, but she wasn't sure that either one: he was going to like it, or two: that it would actually make sense. He let the silence linger between them, knowing that she particularly hated it and would eventually tell him what she was thinking anyway.
He was right. A moment later she stepped forward so she was in his space. "I think we need to throw them off our scent."
He arched his brow. "Throw them off…how?"
Her face contorted like she had just tasted something sour. He definitely was more inclined to believe this was going to be something he wasn't going to like.
"I think you should show a little bit of the old Mark," she admitted.
His lips drawn hard and tight; his eyes narrowed. "You want me to sleep around?"
Her eyes went round. "What? No!"
"Then…"
"Flirt," she affirmed. "I just wanted you to flirt with a nurse or something in front of Mer or Derek."
He rubbed his beard. "Lex, I don't think that is such a good idea. I think it will only create more problems."
She stepped closer to him causing him to uncross his legs so she could settle herself between them. She gripped the lapels of his white coat, his hands falling to her waist.
"It's not like I am that thrilled with the idea myself," she said leaning forward to place a kiss along his jaw. "But, if they see that you are all flirty with the nurses then they won't even think you and I could be together," she added leaving a trail of kisses down to his chin. She pulled back until she was only inches from his lips. Far enough away she could look into his eyes, but barely have to lean forward to capture his lips with her own. "It will get them off our backs for a little while longer."
She leaned forward until her lips met his. The kiss was meant to be chaste but he had no intention of keeping it that way. His arms wrapped around her fully, pulling her to him as he deepened the kiss. She moaned into his mouth, giving him the exact reaction, he needed to slip his tongue in and do a carefully choregraphed dance of their tongues coming together.
It was hard to deny Lexie Grey anything when she was in his arms and giving him the access to kiss her like he was. Again, risky when any minute anyone could walk through his office door, but his ability to think and make reasonable decisions when she was this close to him was damn near impossible.
After another second he begrudgingly broke the kiss and pulled back. "Are you sure that is what you want to do?"
"Do you have any better ideas?"
He thought for a moment, but nothing was coming to mind. Mostly, because he didn't actually want to flirt with anyone else. He didn't want to have to keep coming up with ways to keep seeing her, or have to keep what they were together, hidden from everyone else.
"No, I guess not."
She stood straighter, a smirk donning those beautiful lips of hers. "So, then you will give it a try?"
He let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine."
She leaned in giving him a quick peck. "Thank you."
"Yeah. Yeah. You owe me."
Her smile turned solicitous. "Whatever you want, Dr. Sloan," she said, her voice low, and sultry.
He groaned. "Lex…"
He eyes twinkled and he knew it was because she loved it when he called her by her nickname. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a long, slow, kiss. Before he could even come to his sense, she backed out his arms and started walking to the door.
"I guess I should go and prep our patient for surgery."
Tease. He hated it. He loved it.
All he could do was stare after her like a damn teenage boy smitten with the first girlfriend he ever had.
Lexie made her way to the lunchroom to grab a quick bite. It had been a busy morning of surgeries and consultations in plastics. Mark had successfully completed a bilateral cleft plate surgery as well as an ear reshaping after an emergency came in with two drunken idiots decided it would be fun with play with a saw.
She grabbed a tray with a sandwich, bag of chips, apple, and drink and made her way to the table where Meredith, Alex, Izzie, and April were sitting and already enjoying their lunch.
"Hey Lexie," Meredith said as she sat down. "How was your morning in plastics?"
"Busy," she answered, taking a bite of her sandwich.
"You're in plastics again," Alex noted rhetorically.
"Yeah, so?"
He shrugged. "I didn't peg you for being interested in plastics."
Meredith glanced at her smugly since she had said the exact same thing that morning. Izzie placed another forkful of salad in her mouth and grinned.
"I would work in plastics just to stare at McSteamy all day."
Lexie took another bite of her sandwich, but caught the glare that Alex shot Izzie. Lexie had overheard Cristina and Meredith talking that Alex had a thing for Izzie but was too scared to admit it to her in case she didn't feel the same way. They were close friends and he was worried about ruining the relationship if her feelings weren't reciprocated. He pretended like he didn't care, but she could see by his reaction—even though he tried to hide it—that he wasn't thrilled with the idea of Izzie having a thing for Dr. Sloan.
"He's not that good looking," Alex argued.
April snorted. "Beg to differ. The man is gorgeous," she said weighing in on the subject.
Izzie and April looked to Meredith, but she shook her hand and put her hands up. "Don't ask me. I am marrying Derek so I am exempt from answering that question."
Lexie grinned until all their eyes turned to her. "What?"
"What do you mean, what?" Izzie said. "You've been on his service for more than a week and with him, like, all the time. What do you think?"
"What…I…don't think this conversation is appropriate. He's an attending. He's my teacher, and whether he is attractive or not has absolutely no bearing on the matter. I am not in plastics because I am looking for a hook up, because I want to stare at someone attractive all day—"
"Okay, okay," Izzie cut in stopping her from rambling. "A simple yes or no would have suffice."
"She did say he was attractive," April mused.
Lexie felt her cheeks go hot. "I did not!"
Izzie smiled. "No, Kepner's right. You did say he was attractive."
"Argh! I'm out of here," Lexie said, standing from the table grabbing her apple.
"What's wrong with her?"
She heard Alex ask the group as she started to walk away. She recognized her sister's voice as the response, but was unable to make out exactly what her reply had been.
Happy to be rid of her lunch companions, she decided to make her way back to plastics to start prepping the files for their skin graft procedure they had scheduled later this afternoon. After that, they would be on call for the ER shift this evening.
As she rounded the corner and took a bit of her apple, she stopped when she saw Mark and Derek at the nurse's station. They hadn't seen her yet, so she decided to stay back, not really in the mood to address any further questions in the event Derek was on their case as well.
"So, Lexie's on your service again today," Derek said more as a statement then a question.
"Yep," Mark replied.
"Hadn't realized she was so interested in plastics."
"Why, something wrong with plastics?" He asked a little defensively.
Derek shook his head. "No, nothing wrong with it. She's got the potential to be a great surgeon. Just want to make sure she doesn't put all her eggs in one basket."
"Are you sure it's not your jealousy that she isn't more interested in neurosurgery?"
"Har-har. Very funny." Mark finished writing his notes on a file and handed it back to the head nurse. "And there is nothing going on. You know…with you and her?"
Mark shoved the pen back in his coat pocket, his eyes narrowing. "So, were back to that?"
"I just wanted to make sure. Lexie is going to be my sister after Meredith and I get married, and that means Little Grey is now my family. The last thing she needs is to get wrapped up with a…"
Derek didn't finish the sentence as Mark raised his eyebrow. "Go ahead, finish the sentence, Derek. Don't be shy and tell me what you really think," he said.
Lexie could hear the pain and hurt in his tone. Even his own best friend was telling him to his face that he didn't think he was good enough. It made her heart break and also make her a little angry.
"Come on, Mark. I'm not trying to be mean or make you feel like crap."
"Well, you're doing a pretty good job. I get it. You and Mer made it pretty clear what you think of me."
"You're my best friend, Mark. You know I don't think any less of you. You want to sleep around that is your choice and your life. I would never begrudge you…but it's not what I would want for Lexie."
Mark's thumb and forefinger squeezed the bridge of his nose. "Did you and Mer ever stop to think that Lexie is a grown adult and is capable of making her own decisions on what she wants?"
"That's not the point."
Mark threw up his hands. "That is exactly the point. You two just don't want to see it."
Derek's brows pinched together as he studied his friend. Lexie could see that Mark had taken their argument too far and now Derek was even more suspicious then when the conversation had begun.
"Mark, you promised me. You remember?"
Mark shot him a withering stare, his jaw clenched and his frustrations taking over his features. "I remember," he replied through gritted teeth.
"Dr. Sloan?"
"What?" he snapped turning around.
A pretty red-head nurse was standing in front of him with a file in her hand. Lexie recognized her as being one of the senior RNs from the dermatology wing. She was thin but curvy in all the right places, with a large chest, and striking green eyes. Lexie did not like it one bit that she was standing right in front of her boyfriend sporting a grin so big it made her hands ball into fists. She took two more rapid bites of her apple.
"I'm Emma. I was asked to get a consult from you on a case," she said, handing him the file.
Mark looked at Derek and then back to the nurse. Lexie's eyes widen as soon as she saw the decision register in his mind.
No, no, no, no. Please not her.
Mark shot her a grin, a combination of catlike and predatory. "Is that right?"
Emma—the now evil derm nurse—eyes sparkled, before looking down as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. "Um, yes, that's right. I heard you are the best," she said.
Derek snorted, and Mark turned to him before back to Emma. "That I am." His smile went wider showing the whiteness of his teeth. "I'm the best at everything."
Lexie's heart lurched in her chest. Why the hell had she thought it would ever be a good idea to ask her boyfriend to flirt with someone else just to make Derek and Mer happy? She took another two quick bites of her apple as she continued watching them from her hidden place in the private meeting room.
Mark looked at the file and agreed that the case would be something that would interest him and that he would be more than happy to offer a more thorough consult on the case. Lexie felt queasy the more she watched, the few bites of apple she had taken suddenly turning sour in her stomach.
A pang of jealousy ripped through her chest, when evil derm nurse took the file back and placed her hand on his forearm saying something that she was unable to hear. The smile that Mark gave her was like a knife to the heart. Even if she had told herself a thousand times, she could prepare herself for what it would feel like watching him flirt or be with another woman, it was another thing to live it.
She knew it wasn't real. She knew that he was only doing what she asked him to do for her, but she felt her heart breaking all the same. Because for a split second, she wondered if Mark actually liked the extremely attractive red-head. Even though she was evil it was hard for her to deny that she wasn't smoking hot—it allowed the doubt to creep in, that the longer they kept their relationship a secret the more it meant the world didn't know that Mark Sloan belonged to her.
She bit back the growl, tossing the half-eaten apple into the garbage pail. She was no longer hungry. Liquid started to pool at the back of her eyes and she couldn't understand why that was. It wasn't like she and Mark talked about what it was they were doing together. She didn't even know if he considered her something more than just someone he was having sex with.
They had been seeing each almost every night for the last month. Outside of a few stolen kisses in the stairwell and one time fooling around in the on-call room late when almost everyone was off shift, the only time they were together was after they left the hospital and back at his hotel. They wanted to make sure that no one would even have any idea that anything was going on between them.
A lot of good that is doing. You just threw him into the arms of her.
"See you soon, Dr. Sloan," Emma said, before turning and coming back towards her direction.
Lexie had to force her hand to her side and refrain from wanting to rip the nurse's long strands of hair from her head seeing her grin and blush as she walked away from her boyfriend. Hers.
"Well, I guess some things don't change," Derek laughed, slapping Mark on the shoulder. "Have fun with that one. She's practically ready to meet, Big Sloan. Still on for drinks tomorrow?"
Mark nodded mutely.
Lexie paled. Her hand clutched at her scrubs everything suddenly feeling so constricted and tight. She couldn't do this. She was not ok with him flirting with other girls to make Derek and her sister happy. She dragged her hands through her hair, closed her eyes, and realized she knew what she needed to do.
Mark watched Derek walk away, fuming and feeling dirty and gross. Flirting had always been second nature to him and he was damn good at it. Based on how willing and interested Emma was in him, he could have probably suggested going into the on-call room right now and she would have been eager and ready.
For the first time in his life, he didn't or wasn't even interested in wanting to flirt or do anything with the nurse. She was pretty and attractive, and pre-Lexie would have been exactly the kind of women he would have sought after for a good time in the sack. He couldn't help but think during their entire interaction how her eyes weren't right being green instead of brown. That her hair was too red instead of the deep warm brown that Lexie's was.
He didn't want another one-night stand. He wanted another kiss, another embrace, another night of passion with the one woman who made him want more than he ever wanted before—Lexie Grey.
The sound of his pager in his pocket pulled him from his thoughts.
Meet me in the on-call room. Now.
Mark frowned at the page from Lexie. She never paged him with something so forward and possibly incriminating as this. Something had to be wrong and his stomach twisted thinking she might be in some kind of trouble.
He kept his demeanor calm on the outside, but pushed his legs faster until he reached the last on-call room on the floor that was further from the nurse's station and other more active areas on the floor. He opened the door and when he peeked inside, he allowed himself to sigh in relief when he found Lexie already there sitting on the cot waiting for him.
"Lex?" He walked in and shut the door, pushing in the lock and turned back to her. "What's wrong?" he said, sensing something was off.
Her hands were in her lap, her head down, her hair falling around her face. Before he could even walk the rest of the way towards her to sit down, she jumped up and launched herself at him with force. He caught her easily, but his back still ended up smacking into the door.
"Wha—"
Her lips met his with a frenzy, her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him towards her. She kissed him fervently, as if her very life depended on this kiss between them. He didn't know what was wrong with her that caused her to suddenly react this way—not like he was complaining when the kiss was as hot as it was—but he allowed it sensing that she needed this. She needed him.
That thought alone had him wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her to him so her chest was crushed directly against his. He met her kisses with his own, and felt like a god when he solicited a pleasureful moan from her mouth again and again.
After a moment, when air became essential causing them both the need to pull back, he knew he needed to find out what it was that was bothering Lexie. She took in a breath and came at him again, but it took everything in him to pull back and not kiss her back.
He regretted it the moment he saw the hurt flash across her face and her eyes begin to fill with water.
"Lex, what's wrong?"
She sniffled. "You don't want me?"
He winced, his heart shattering at how small and meek her voice sounded. "What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?"
A sad smile formed on her lips, as she looked away from him. "I saw you with Emma."
He cursed, realizing what that must've looked like to her. He reached out, but was crushed when she actually stepped back from him.
"Lex, it's not what it looked like. Derek was questioning about you and I, and I remembered what you said this morning about you wanting me to flirt to throw them off our scent. I swear that is all I was doing. I am not interested in that nurse at all."
She bit her lip as she looked up at him. He could see she was studying his face and looking for any sign that he wasn't telling her the truth. This silent appraisal was killing him little by little. He wasn't lying when he said he wasn't interested in Emma in the slightest.
Lexie crossed her arms over her chest. "Are you sure?"
This time he stepped forward and refused to let her step away from him. His finger rested under her chin slowly bringing her eyes up to meet his. "Lex, I am sure. I am not interested in her. I am interested in you. Only you," he said fiercely.
She closed her eyes, sighing as a single tear fell down her cheek. He wiped the tear away with the pad of his thumb and couldn't help himself when he lowered his head and placed a soft kiss to her lips. He pulled away before she could attempt to deepen the kiss, because even though he knew she would do it to attempt to prove herself to him…it isn't what she needed in that moment.
And Derek and Callie think I haven't changed at all.
He led her over to the cot so they could sit down. "Talk to me," he said putting his arm around her shoulder.
She looked down at her hands that were in her lap and sighed. "I can't do this," she said.
He stilled, his entire body frozen, his heart stopping with those four words. He tried to hold back the panic, but he was not ready nor was he ok with the fact that she would want to end this—whatever this was—before it even had a chance to get started.
He schooled his expression and kept his voice calm. "What do you mean you can't do this?"
She looked up and water was pooling at the back of her eyes again. "This. You and I," she clarified pointing at him and then her.
"Lex—"
"No listen," she interrupted putting her hand to his chest. He didn't want to listen that she was done with him and throwing him away like everyone else in his life had done. He didn't think he could bare it. "I know what I said to you this morning about the need for us to throw Derek and my sister off the idea that were together, but I just can't. I can't Mark," she sniffled.
He pulled her to him to a crushing hug. There was still hope that she wanted to be with him. "I can't either Lexie. I never liked the idea anyway."
She pulled back and he let her. Her eyes went round. "You didn't?"
He smiled and brought her hand to his lips. "No, I didn't. Why would I when I have hot Little Grey all to myself?"
"Oh, Mark," she cried, pulling his face towards hers and giving him a kiss.
"Feel better?" he asked rubbing circles on her back. She bit her lip. "Lexie?"
She sighed. "It's not just the flirting. I can't do this either," she said.
He groaned. "You are literally killing me here, Grey. Are you trying to break up with me?"
She gasped and recoiled as if he struck her physically. "What? No. Why would you say that? Do you want me to break up with you?"
He shook his head. "Of course not. I am not sure what to think when you keep saying you can't do this multiple times though."
"I'm sorry," she said numbly.
He turned her towards him. "Just tell me what it is that you can do."
She took a deep breath and met his eyes. "I can do public flirting with you. I can do out and the open, shout from the rooftops that you're my boyfriend with you…if that's what you want. I can hold your hand as we walk into this hospital and leave each day and not feel sorry at all that I chose you to do it all with. Were in a relationship Mark, whether you think we are or not."
"I know that," he cut in.
"Do you?"
He sighed. "Lex, I want those things too. But you know why all of those things are a little difficult, right?"
She stood and took a few steps away from him. "That's just it. I don't. I am tried of letting Derek or Mer, or anyone else in this hospital dictate our lives our how we get to live them." She paused, and took a large gulp of air and when she spoke again her voice was less confident and timid. "Do you really want to be with me?"
He stood and took her hands in his. "Yes, Lexie. It's all that I want."
"Then be in a relationship with me. It's time."
He shot her a look of confusion. "What's time?"
"That the world knows it. That we sit down with Derek and Mer and we tell them," she clarified.
"Little Grey…"
Her face twisted, but she pushed on anyway cutting him off. "That's the deal, Mark. Take it or leave it. Either be in a relationship with me and we tell Derek and my sister, or you can walk right out that door and we can end things now before either one of us gets anymore…attached," she said pausing to think of the most appropriate way to phrase it. She licked her lips and sucked in her bottom lip between her teeth. "So, what will it be?"
Hope you liked chapter 1. Please feel free to leave a review if you feel so inclined. Chapter 2 – coming shortly!