Disclamer: Everything you can remember, is from Horikoshi.
There is no actual plot, it just really sad sadness.
Fanart: lxtrrs on Twitter.
TW: Depression, Anxiety, Pain.
It was really early morning when I heard the door of my room closing. I thought I was dreaming because everyone should be asleep at that time. But now, I shout to myself that I'm an idiot.
I should have gotten up, opened the door and investigated what was happening but I couldn't, I didn't even think about doing it. Maybe he got together with someone and did something with another guy's singularity…
I spent a couple of hours looking at the ceiling, at that time it seemed to be very interesting, although right now I still don't understand why I did it; there is nothing special about the immobile white cloak.
The truth is, if I think about it with a cool head, he could have been the one who stunned me into not following him. That nerd is going to pay me… I'm going to find him and kill him.
The first thing I saw when I got out of bed in the morning was Deku's stupid letter. Yes, one more nonsense that only he would think of doing; there's a reason why he is called like that. His little kid handwriting caught my attention as I approached the door, looking with a raised eyebrow at where the envelope was taped; as I said, he is an idiot.
From reading it so much, I could recite what that note said; tell you what went through my mind when I read it the first or the twentieth time and what my body wanted to do with the piece of paper. But now, I would just say that I almost broke the glass on the balcony door when I tried to go out and get him.
It isn't the way you think. I could make you see that I do care about him, even if I don't show it so actively; but don't take it so literally. I need him by my side to be sure that I will always have a new obstacle to overcome; nothing more than that. Yes... Just that.
Everyone knows very well what I did next. I was on the front pages of every newspaper in the country; I would dare to say in the entire continent, as in all news channels... It would be impossible not to have seen it. Seventeen whole days. In a hurry. Flying. Jumping.
I've been searching for him among building debris, wrecked car parts, and smashed household items. No, I didn't find him. I swear I toured every park, explored every mountain, tracked him between every tree, and entered every lake. I never found him. I came to think that he was using someone else's quirk to hide his presence from me, and if I'm serious now, from any other hero.
The worst part… You know what the worst part was? The heroes were such idiots that they neither bothered to keep a searching team, nor did they try to continue after the first three days; they seemed to have settled for you not showing up anywhere.
The professional heroes themselves gave up. Even, I can assure you, some seemed to have more information than what they were letting us see; to those I held more resentment. Sure, as expected, they tried to stop me. That's when I knew that society had seriously gone to hell; not even the heroes wanted to do their job: find you.
The only one who intervened for me was Best Jeanist. Neither Professor Aizawa nor All Might, both part of that clan that seemed to hide something. My mentor, whom I resented for a while, believing himself the savior of the next number one hero: Bakugo Katsuki.
At least he convinced everyone to let me look for idiot Deku until I had no more sweat on my palms and I couldn't blow something up. Because yes, as you can see, he wanted to put a condition on me: I would stop when no more nitroglycerin came out of my palms.
Seventeen days. Three hundred and seventy-five hours invested in going around all of Japan. And I never found him. It may not be true, but I want to believe that I was close. The problem is that I never saw him. It seemed… It seemed that Deku had disappeared from the surface of the earth.
He is going to pay me, I repeat, the idiot is going to pay me... and very expensive. He will do it by wasting my time and keeping me on constant alert and worry.
Sleeping? That word did not exist in my vocabulary. Resting? By All Might, if I even ate looking for him! All my efforts seemed to go in vain. Everything I did went to shit one night, and for what? Everything so that I can't eat spicy food now. And all for you... a deku.
A point came where even Aunt Midoriya, yes, the nerd's mother, kept telling me that I should stop. I could tell how worried she was for both her son and me, but no, I had no other choice. It was, is and will be my duty as a hero not to rest until I have finished my mission.
The problem was that I could not keep my word and now, not wanting to give up, I also fled. I realized something the first night I was hiding: if you are not here, I do not want anything.
Who will I have to overcome if you are not here? The idiot who has admired me for as long as I can remember. The boy who had no quirk until he entered UA. The deku who started following my footsteps, got on my heels, and now is getting ahead of me with someone else's gift.
I know this all sounds like I'm declaring some kind of weird feeling for Deku, maybe, at this point, I don't even know it myself; I stopped understanding myself a while ago. The only thing I am really aware of is the slowness with which the days pass while I lock myself in this filthy basement, away from the other heroes, my family and yours, the teachers and all the other students.
Funny… Last night, when I was returning to my lair, I could see round face floating in the air a few streets from here. I'm sure she was looking for me so, if they already locate the area where I am hiding, it seems that I am not making it that difficult for them.
I can't help but think that they do know where I am but they are letting me act like this out of shame; they must think I'm an idiot, I'd think the same if I was in their place.
I need you, yes, I have to admit it. You can tell that I do not work well if you are not here. It's very strange to feel like this. It bothers me that I can't think of anything else other than you. I never imagined that something like this could happen to me and, much less, that it would be for you.
Now, as I'm sitting next to a puddle of some really bad smelling liquid, I must be so tired that I can see you. You come to me walking slowly, or so I feel it that way. I can see your green suit, the one you started wearing when we started at UA, and I think I must be going crazy.
I'd swear I'm hallucinating, but with every passing second, you seem to get closer and closer. I can already appreciate your huge green eyes behind the hood. I never quite finished asking if you knew that your adoration to All Might was too obvious with that garment, although you could also look like a hare with that attempt of ears.
Little by little, everything turned black. A halo began to form around you, hovering around your figure, and there I understood; I realized that I had not eaten or slept almost anything in the whole week. I heard your voice and I wanted to make sure that you were not an illusion but my eyes were closing without being able to avoid it. I stopped thinking. I stopped feeling the hard ground under my body.
I don't remember much of what happened that night. Some images appear in my mind, frame by frame, making me think that I have lost my mind. I assured myself that it was all a dream when I see the bright lights of the infirmary.
I thought I had failed my mission when I find myself surrounded by the deathly silence in the room, but the door opened and an involuntary groan rose from my throat when I saw you.
Yes, it was you, or it seemed to be you. There, static, standing under the door frame. Your green eyes letting out all the tears that you have surely swallowed since you left. The pained expression on your face changed to relief as you tried to smile when you saw that I was already awake.
You were seriously back but... neither you nor I could say anything. The lump in my throat kept me from saying a word. There you were and I didn't even know what to say. You see this? Do you see that you have changed me, nerd?
I have to accept that I have never felt like this before; I don't know what is happening to my body. There is a sensation that stands out from the others but I cannot identify it; I have not been able to recognize it for many years.
Your gaze became more intense when you took a step towards the bed where I was lying, I also couldn't make out what it was you were feeling. For the first time in years, I was not able to read you as easy.
Maybe it was joy... You perceived the same happiness that I felt when I understood that this might not be just a dream.
"Kacchan…" I heard you whisper as you approached and, as hard as it was to admit it, my heart skipped a beat so hard that I had to rush a hand towards my chest.
It couldn't be a dream, and if it was, I didn't want to wake up. I didn't mind staying like this if you were going to be around. Yes, I needed to see you by my side and nothing else.
I wish this was not a hallucination. Yes, now I can feel the softness of the bed under my body and the padded blanket warm my skin, but I feel, again, the doubt inside my mind when everything turned into that black cloak before my eyes.
I don't see or hear you anymore.
I am lost. That's the only thing I know.
I have nothing left if you are gone.
Thank you for reading this thing that was created from a bad night.