Bucky stood outside of the door, staring at the wreath of brightly colored fabric leaves, a small wooden sign hanging in the center with the words Give Thanks looping across it.
He doubted there was going to be much thankfulness for him on the other side of the door.
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
This was supposed to be getting easier. Dr. Raynor told him it would get easier.
But for someone who hated bullshit so much, she really spent far too much time talking out of her ass. Because this wasn't easy.
Easy would be surreptitiously wiring a million dollars into each of their bank accounts from the HYDRA accounts he still had access to.
Easy would be taking out anyone who had been involved in the decision to give him the order.
Easy would be breaking the damn rules.
The rules aren't meant to make your life easy, James. They're meant to disconnect you from the Winter Soldier. That's the whole point of making amends, isn't it?
He'd give anything to get her damn voice out of his head.
Bucky propelled himself up the front porch steps before he could change his mind. Like he had last yesterday.
He rapped on the front door, accidentally knocking the wreath sideways as he went to pull his hand away. Instinctively, he reached out to right it, centering the sign and taking his hands away slowly to avoid a repeat of the situation. Bucky checked over his shoulder, half expecting Sam's stupid little robot to Zoom into view with Sam cackling and making some dumb quip about metal butterfingers. But Redwing wasn't there. The only other person outside was an old man mowing his lawn in a dingy white undershirt and grey sweatshorts. Bucky's lip curled in disgust before turning back to the door-the sound of locks clicking out of place putting him on alert.
"Hello?"
Bucky blinked, his eyes meeting those of the woman before him. Her eyes were striking, pinning him to the spot and pushing all semblance of thought out of his head. They were a light brown-taupe almost, standing out brightly in contrast to her long, full eyelashes.
"Can I help you?"
Bucky blinked, nodding at her. Right. He was here for a reason. Not to stand like some teenage boy who'd just seen the girl next door for the first time.
"I'm looking for Mina Kaminski."
"You found her."
He blanched. "You're Mina Kaminski?"
The look of vague curiosity that had been gracing features markedly shifted into a look of annoyance. "Believe it or not, people who look like me aren't all named Singh or Patel"
Fuck this. He needed to get out of here. There was no way he could have this conversation now.
"Still want to talk to me?" She asked, eyebrows arched and arms folded across her chest.
No.
Sam's laughter echoed in his head, as if he'd been here to witness the exchange. And that's why he stayed. Out of spite.
He nodded. "My name is James "Bucky" Barnes and-"
"Wait a second," she held out a hand and raised an eyebrow on him. He did as she asked, stopping mid-sentence with a sinking feeling in his gut. "You're the Bucky Barnes?"
He nodded, resigned to the fact that this was going to be his worst attempt at amends yet. "Yeah."
"Well," she breathed, dropping her arms. "If I'd known I was meeting an Avenger at my door, I might have put on some pants."
His eyes ran down from her face, noticing for the first time that she wore a dressing robe that barely swept the tops of her knees. Her bare knees.
His mouth opened as if he had even the faintest clue how to respond to this and then his jaw moved up and down for a new second as if the motion of talking would bring words. While it didn't muster an apology or some other decent thing to say, he did manage to utter a single word: "Shit."
She snorted at the reaction before smiling for the first time and shaking out her long dark hair, waves tousled together from having probably just woken up. "If you want to come in and wait, I'll go get changed."
He shook his head. "I can wait out here."
She was still smiling. Probably because she realized he was far more pathetic up close. "Suit yourself, but there's eggs inside."
"I'm good," he said, forcing himself to give a tight smile that didn't reach his eyes. She nodded, leaving the door open behind her as she disappeared inside the house-as if he'd change his mind.
He should leave right now. Turn around and come back a different day when he could at least function like a mostly human being. Bucky ran a hand through his hair, scratching the back of his head.
The quick, sharp sound of pattering bare feet broke his stream of thought, as another girl came to the door, standing before him with her hands on her hips. "We were having breakfast, you know," the girl announced, her voice dripping with sass. "Now we have to wait until she's done talking to you. And I'm starving."
Bucky raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be….not talking to strangers?"
"Shouldn't you be eating breakfast?" she countered.
"It's ten in the morning; I ate already."
"We were supposed to have breakfast an hour ago. But Ravi-"
"Rocio, leave Bucky Barnes alone," Mina's voice called from elsewhere.
Before he could fully process how odd it was for him to use his name, the little girl's hands dropped from her hips and she stared up at him, mouth agape and eyes comically wide.
"You're Bucky Barnes?" she asked, her small voice awed.
He nodded with a deep sigh and another forced smile.
"What happened to your hair?"
"Got a haircut," he shrugged.
She furrowed her brow at him, her little eyes peering intently at his face. He wasn't sure the last time someone had looked him in the eyes this long. Nobody except Steve had looked him in the eyes since he made it out. The corner of his mouth twitched up. She nodded at him, having composed herself so her little face was serious once more. "I like this better."
"Thanks." He couldn't keep the amusement from his voice. He didn't even really try.
A thought seemed to hit her, lighting up her whole face with excitement. "Wait right here. Don't move. Promise." He nodded again and she raised her eyebrows at him, giving him a stern look.
"I promise," he said, clearly stating each word.
She nodded at him. "Ok. Good." And then she turned and ran into the house, her feet making far more sound than they should for someone of her size.
Mina reappeared shortly thereafter with a faint smile on her lips, dressed in a copper colored sweater and jeans. "Sorry. You're her favorite."
"She's cute."
What an idiotic thing to say.
"Wish I could take credit," Mina said, shaking her head. "She's my sister's. I'm just the babysitter on duty."
There were some more sounds of scampering and Rocio was back at the door wearing a long black satin glove, reaching about halfway up her bicep. There were lines streaked across it in gold marker to make it look like it was made of metal plates.
"I made an arm like yours!" she announced, almost whacking Mina in the stomach as she extended her arm out for him to see.
He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He'd seen Halloween costumes for sale and shirts with one of the sleeves modeled after his arm, and pictures of guys with an arm wrapped in tinfoil. All of them had been with his old arm-his silver one with the red star. The arm that belonged to Him. An arm made to invoke fear.
This was the arm of a protector.
She deserved more of a reaction than a small, breathy, "Wow."
"Will you sign it?" Her eyes got even bigger if possible, and Mina started to shake her head, bending over to talk to the little girl, but Bucky stopped her.
"You got a marker?"
"I'll go find one!" Rocio disappeared again, leaving him and Mina alone on the doorstep. She was closer this time, and he could hear her talking to herself and rustling through different drawers.
Mina turned her attention from her niece back onto Bucky. "So, why is Bucky Barnes on my doorstep?"
"I uh-when does your sister get home?" he asked, eyes focused in the direction of Rocio's sounds. He swallowed, tearing his eyes away and back up to hers. "I should probably tell both of you...together."
The playful amusement that had been on her face disappeared as she stared at him, as if trying to see inside his head. Like she would want to see what was inside of his head.
"She'll be here around three."
He nodded, saved from a response by Rocio's re-appearance, waving a silver sharpie in the air. She offered it to him, and he plucked it out of her hand, taking hold of her toothpick of an arm in one hand and signing his name on the inside of her bicep. Where she could hide the signature if she wanted to.
Bucky handed the marker back to her as Rocio held her arm out, trying to catch sight of his name.
"Rocio," Mina prodded, gently.
"Thank you!" she chirped, before turning and literally skipping back inside. "Ravi-look!"
He liked her.
"That was really kind of you," Mina said, warmly. "I think you just made her year."
He shrugged.
"Although, I have a feeling that this is all she's going to talk about for the next week," Mina sighed, shaking her head. "Anyway, Leela will be back around three if you want to come back then and share whatever secret serious news is it that you need to tell us together." Her voice was teasing, and Bucky's mouth lifted into a smirk.
"I'll be back then."
"Great," she smiled politely. "See you then."
He nodded, wishing her goodbye before turning down the stairs.
So much for getting easier.