Are We All Right?
Disclaimer: I don't own Downton Abbey.
This first chapter is basically rehashing the last ten minutes of 2 x 8, but it might give you a new perspective of those scenes…
For this story, I will be returning to my usual "writing from the perspectives of the two main characters" rather than a one-person narrative or several different POVs.
OOOOOOOOOOO is time change.
XXXXXXXXXXXX is POV change.
Cora struggled within the delirium of Spanish Flu for days. Sometimes her sweet maid, O'Brien, was an angel, carrying Cora to heaven. Sometimes her three daughters attempted to pull her back to Earth. But the most painful dreams and hallucinations were the one that featured her husband, Robert, walking away from her.
Before her fever began, O'Brien had warned Cora about Robert. "I'm not certain it's a good idea for His Lordship to sleep in a different room tonight, milady," she'd said as she put Cora's nightgown on carefully. "I've heard he's making eyes at one of the maids."
Cora's heart had stopped for a moment at the idea that Robert might be interested in another woman. But she'd been far too tired to reflect on it properly. "I'm sure nothing will come of it," she'd said as she climbed into her large bed with a yawn.
But now, as her fever began to fade, Cora wondered, was it worth waking up if Robert were to leave her? Or even stay with her in name but give his heart to someone else, as she'd heard some lords did?
Ultimately, Cora had three lovely daughters who still needed her, even Robert did not. And she'd heard that Downton Abbey had already had one death because of Spanish flu. Miss Lavinia Swire, who had been Cousin Mathew's fiancée. There was no reason for another. So, she slowly forced herself to open her eyes, expecting to see her empty bedroom with blue walls. Or perhaps one of her daughters would be in the room. To her surprise, Robert sat on the bed next to her.
"A sight to gladden my heart," he said as his blue eyes stared into hers.
"Is it?" Cora said softly, afraid to believe that he did still love her, after all. "I hope it is."
"You gave us quite a fright," he said, still staring into her eyes in a way he hadn't done in a long time. She'd almost forgotten…
"They told me about Lavinia," Cora said with a sigh, still sad that young woman, with her whole life ahead of her, was the one to die.
He said in the same sad, serious voice, "The funeral is on Monday."
"I'd like to go if I can," she said as firmly as she could while she was still rather feeble. Cora had always mixed feelings about Miss Swire. As nice as the young lady was, in some ways Cora had felt she was taking her oldest daughter, Mary's place. Now that made Cora feel horribly guilty, especially about a woman who was supposed to have been a member of the family.
A silence followed, and Cora suddenly reached for Robert's hand, even though she laid weakly on the bed. She was desperate for some sign of their love. "We are all right, aren't we Robert?" Her eyes pleaded for him to say yes. She really wished them to be all right.
To her relief, her husband immediately said, "Of course we are."
But Cora couldn't let it go quite yet. Images of her dismissing Robert repeatedly flashed through her mind. He'd asked her to have lunch with him. He'd asked her to take a walk with her. And she'd ignored him. Had she even looked into his eyes recently? If Robert had been interested in one of the maids, it was Cora's fault.
"Only I know I got so caught up in everything, I think I neglected you, and if I did, I'm sorry," she said sincerely.
His eyes, full of sorrow, looked deeply into hers. "Don't apologize to me," he said firmly.
Cora's heart filled with love for him at that point. No matter how far apart they've drifted during the Great War, this was still her Robert. He had such a strong sense of honor, and no matter what Cora may have done to provoke him, he still obviously felt enormously guilty for whatever may have happened with the maid.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
OOOOOOOOOO
Cora and the other patients continued to recover from Spanish flu the next day, and it lifted Robert's heart to hear Dr. Clarkson say they would all be fine soon.
At the same time, dark clouds lingered over Downton Abbey with Lavinia's death and Robert's guilt about what happened with the maid, Jane. How could he betray Cora like that? How could he take advantage of one of his employees?
Robert needed to speak to her, to apologize for leading her on, and to end things properly. Soon. But how? Downton Abbey's library, which normally felt like home to Robert, now felt a bit too large and empty. He studied the notices on his desk again, as he tried to figure out what to do.
Just then, Jane appeared in the library, smiling sweetly at him in a way that made Robert feel both happy and guilty. "I was trying to think of a way to contrive a meeting, and now here you are."
Nodding, Jane smiled at him again, although her blue eyes had a sad element to them. "I'm glad Lady Grantham is better. Truly," she said in a very sincere way. But naturally, Jane would feel that way, as she was such a caring young woman. "There is no harm done," she finished, as if that were the end of the issue.
Robert's stomach dropped at that. Did she honestly believe it were that simple? "There is no harm done yet," he said firmly. He hoped Jane understood what he was trying to say. That their…dalliance had to end now, or what would follow would be far worse than "harm." Destruction of everything.
But to Robert relief, it seemed Jane did understand things had to end between them. "I'm almost packed, and I've given in my notice."
His stomach relaxed as he nodded. His temptation was leaving. And Robert immediately felt guilty about that thought. Jane was more than a mere temptation. She was a person. A poor, widowed young woman, desperately trying to earn money for her family, and improve her son's life.
He still had to apologize for leading her on in the last few months, and Robert had decided the perfect way to do so. Handing her a slip of paper from his pocket, he said, "This is the name and address of my man of business."
Shaking her head, Jane refused to take the slip of paper. "Why? You don't owe me anything."
But he did. Robert owed her months of comfort and companionship. But more than that, he'd allowed her to believe his heart might be free to give. Still, it didn't surprise him that she was too proud to accept. He had expected this.
And Robert had the perfect answer prepared. "It's not for you; it's for Freddy. Let him get a new start on life." He knew she would never resist an offer to help her son.
But Jane shook her head again, her maid's cap still firmly attached to her lovely dark brown hair. "I'm not sure."
"It would make me very happy," Robert said, needing her to take it.
Jane smiled again in that way that made Robert's insides dance. "If I thought that, then I'd take it gladly." He nodded, understanding what she meant. Her heart was still tied to him, as much as he wished it wasn't so. "Will you be happy? Really?" she asked, her eyes pleading for honesty.
Sighing Robert said, "I have no right to be unhappy, which is almost the same thing." Cora would live. That was the most important thing. How could Robert complain about anything else with the knowledge that his Cora would recover? The fact that he was still losing Sybil, Mary would marry that arrogant newspaper man, Lavinia had died, he still felt like a useless old man, and he and Cora hadn't been close in a long time shouldn't matter.
"Almost. Not quite the same thing," Jane said sadly, as if she understood exactly what was going on in his head. For a fleeting moment, Robert wished she could stay. Just for another couple of weeks until he felt a bit better. But that was impossible.
Pausing for a moment, Jane glanced around the room, especially to the doorways, obviously checking to see if anyone was watching or, worse listening to them. It took Robert a moment to realize they were in still in the library, which his daughters Mary and Edith used frequently, and the housekeeper, Mrs. Hughes often passed by. And what about the other maids? Or even Thomas, who was supposed to be gone now that the house was no longer used as convalescent home, but was now serving as a footman again?
Had it really been a good idea to have such a conversation in this room?
But after looking for several moments, Jane asked, "Can I kiss you before I go?"
He should say no. As he'd just realized, anyone could walk pass the library at the wrong time. And Robert already promised himself he would end things with Jane. But how could he say that with her smiling at him like that, her blue eyes staring into his? With her dark brown hair framing her face perfectly, reminding him of a young Cora?
Robert had led Jane on. If kissing him was what she wanted before she left this house permanently, he would allow it. They both leaned into each other, almost at the same time, and their lips met.
Excitement flooded Robert's body, especially as their tongues danced for a couple of moments. As they withdrew, he realized he had been deluding himself, thinking he had only accepted the kiss for Jane's sake. And guilt filled his soul again as she walked away slowly from the library.
Cora was still upstairs, recovering from a deadly illness, and he'd kissed Jane again. Intimately.
Naturally, this was just another example that Robert and Cora's relationship was not all right, no matter what he'd told his wife yesterday. Robert's almost betrayal still hung between them, and even without Jane, they had been emotionally distant for a long time. But how could he tell her that when Cora's lovely eyes had pleaded with him, tugging at his heart?
Especially when Robert desperately wished he and Cora were all right as well.
Perhaps when Jane left, they would begin to be all right again, as Robert wouldn't be tempted by her any longer. At least that was one problem he wouldn't need to ponder, considering how many others still lingered at Downton Abbey in April of 1919.
OOOOOOOOOOO
The April air was thick with sorrow, as Reverend Travis prayed over young Lavinia's body. Family and servants alike gathered around her grave, all dressed in mourning clothing. Robert tried to stand tall and dignified, like a proper earl. But he struggled, forcing a couple of tears away from his eyes.
After all, it could have so easily been his Cora they were burying today. Robert couldn't even look at Mathew right now, as much as the young man he'd thought of as a son would probably need him. Robert was too afraid of seeing what his own face might have shown, in another reality where Cora had died instead.
Cora's quiet presence next to him meant everything, especially today.
So, Robert wanted to protest when she left as soon as the funeral. She was his tether, and he must have her as all the guests offered condolences. But he couldn't even have that. Although she was on the mend, Cora was still recovering, and Dr. Clarkson had advised her to go inside and rest as soon as the funeral was officially done.
Instead, Robert wandered alone around the graveyard as guest after guest apologized for Lavinia's death, especially as she was so young. He nodded aimlessly at all of them.
Then, Robert suddenly came face – to – face with that nasty Irish chauffer, who'd seduced his Sybil, somehow believing he would be accepted into their family. Branson. Did he seriously think he'd be welcome at this funeral? His grubby paws were wrapped around Sybil's arm even now. "Why are you here?" Robert asked, staring the man down until the brown – haired man submitted.
But unfortunately, Branson still refused to be submitted. He stared back at Robert without fear and said plainly. "To pay my respects to Miss Swire, and to see Sybil."
Robert bristled even more. He knew this man had no regard for proper behavior at all, but to smear it in his face by addressing his Sybil improperly was too much. "Lady Sybil," he said firmly, still staring Branson down.
But then Sybil spoke herself, making things worse, especially as she looked directly at Robert. With her dark hair and blue eyes, she reminded him so much of a young Cora. "Oh, Papa, what is the point of that nonsense?" So many points that Sybil refused to hear and had refused to hear for the last week and a half. She may look exactly like Cora, but his youngest daughter was as stubborn as Rosamund and Mama put together.
"I suppose you'll go to Dublin now," Robert said with a sigh. His heart ached again, despite his lingering anger. He truly was losing Sybil, and there was still nothing he could do to stop it. At this moment, he needed Cora next to him more desperately than ever.
Looking back at him with Cora's blue eyes, Sybil said, "In a day or two. Mama is well again, and I see no reason to delay. Although I do wish we could have parted as friends." As if that would have solved everything. As if they could ever be on good terms again when Sybil had rejected Robert, and all the things he wanted to give her for this… Fenian.
He still needed Cora. Especially as Sybil last comment, misguided as it was, was exactly the sort of thing Robert's wife might say herself. Sweet Cora who hated to hurt anyone and was constantly trying to find solutions that would somehow make everyone happy.
In fact, hadn't Cora said something similar a week and a half ago, when they'd first discussed Sybil's horrible plan of marrying Branson? "Has Sybil really lost sight of who she is, Robert? Or have we overlooked who she is?" Robert had dismissed the comment as too American, and of course, it had been.
Still, he stared at Branson again, half hoping to intimidate the man once again. "And what about you? Do you wish to part as friends?" Surely Branson would not.
But chauffeur had been surprising Robert ever since he'd been hired. So, naturally Branson said, "I do. Although I don't expect to."
As they began to walk away, Robert felt as if Sybil was truly leaving him this moment, and it broke his heart completely. It seemed as if there was only one way, and one way only that Sybil wouldn't be lost forever. "All right," he said loudly, catching both of their attention and causing them to turn around. "If I can't stop you, I see no profit in a quarrel. You'll have a very different life from the one you might have lived. But if you're sure it's the one you want," he paused and took a deep breath, wondering if he could truly say this, especially with Sybil looking that way at Branson.
"Then you may take my blessing with you, whatever that means," Robert said finally.
The look of pure joy on Sybil's face made the statement completely worth it. Hugging him she said, "Oh, Papa it means more than anything."
Turning to Branson, Robert gave him another deadly stare. He had one more chance to intimidate the man. "If you mistreat her, I will personally have you torn to pieces by wild dogs."
But Branson stared back and said, "I'd expect no less."
"Will you come over for the wedding?" Sybil asked then, her blue eyes pleading to him just like Cora's. For all her stubbornness, Sybil could be just as naïve as Cora as well. Robert had given Sybil his blessing to marry the Irish chauffeur, despite all the other lords who would call him a horrible father for it. Including his own. But attending the wedding, and watching Sybil tie her life to the Fenian would be unacceptable.
Not to mention more than his heart could take.
But just like with Cora a few days ago, Robert couldn't tell Sybil that now. Not with those blue eyes staring at him, tugging at his heart. "We'll talk about that later," he said instead. "And they'll be some money," he added, hoping to settle his heart a bit more. "But not much."
With a burst of affection that reminded Robert of Cora once again, Sybil wrapped her arms around him and kissed Robert. Then she walked away, still with Branson's paws on her arm.
Robert slowly made his way back to the house, hoping not to encounter anymore guests wishing respects and condolences, as well – meaning as they were. But the person he encountered instead might have been even worse.
Mama. Who'd apparently heard him give his blessing to Sybil and Branson, because she'd said, "So you've given up the fight?" She braced herself with her cane as they walked.
Sighing Robert braced himself for another argument when all he wanted was to see Cora again. Mama, who had campaigned for months against him marrying Cora, because she was American, and barely accepted Rosamund's marriage to Marmaduke, just because he wasn't a titled English gentleman. She would never agree to Sybil marrying that Irish chauffeur and would lecture Robert for weeks for consenting to it himself.
"Yes," he told her with a sigh. "I suppose you think that's soft." That would be the least of what Mama would think.
But to Robert's surprise she said, "no," as she continued to brace herself with her cane. "You know if she's determined to go, it will cause less of a scandal if people think we approve." He supposed that was possible, although Robert had a feeling Mama may a bit optimistic. Then she continued, speaking of the name "Branson" as if that family name might be worth something.
Sighing, Robert admitted to her, "Actually, I want Lavinia's last gift to us to be what really matters." He certainly didn't need reminding, but he could have so easily lost Cora to that deadly flu virus. Could he live with himself if he lost Sybil as well, because of whom she'd married?
OOOOOOOOOO
When they finally reached the house, Cora was sitting quietly in the library, looking through a book. It was a lovely sight, especially as Thomas arrived with tea.
Robert sat down on the red settee, eager to enjoy tea with Cora. But just then, Carson burst into the room, in an undignified manner that was horribly out – of – character. "I'm sorry milord, but I have terrible news. When we arrived home several moments ago, Scotland Yard was waiting in the servants' quarters. And" Carson paused and too a deep breathe, making Robert believe whatever he had to say was worse than the manner his butler had entered the library or even the fact that Scotland Yard was in his servants' quarters at all.
"I'm afraid Mr. Bates has been arrested, milord," Carson finally finished sadly.
So many things had gone wrong today. So many things had gone wrong for the last several weeks. And Robert desperately tried to keep himself together. But this news was worse than anything that has happened yet. His own valet had been arrested? One of the most faithful servants he'd ever had, and a man Robert considered a friend as well as an employee?
So of course, Robert's temper snapped. He stood up and shouted, "How dare you let them do such a thing, Carson? That they could just take an honorable man like Bates away? I thought I could trust you," he huffed, still too angry to think. He could barely see at this point.
"I'm very sorry milord, but they had a warrant for his arrest," Carson said. "For the murder of Mrs. Vera Bates."
That was Bates' ex – wife, Robert remembered dimly, through his anger. But it was no matter. This was huge mistake. The very idea of a man as admirable as Bates could be capable of murdering anyone was sickening. He faced Carson, finally seeing clearly enough to see the other man staring back sadly. "I need you to get Murray on the telephone, Carson. Immediately."
Murray would sort this out for him. He must.
This story should be updated about once a month.