Disclaimer: I may wish that they were mine but I know they're not. I do this for pleasure not profit. If Paramount like my ideas they're welcome to use them!

Sooner or later there comes a time when the waiting gets too much, when it's time to give up hope and move on. It took me a while to accept it but eventually I knew it was time to stop waiting for Kathryn and to move on with my life.

I knew Kathryn was special the first time I saw her. She had an aura of strength and determination that drew attention to her. I wanted to get closer to her, to learn more about her, to be her friend and, if I was fortunate, more than her friend.

I took every opportunity that presented itself to spend time with her, to stake a place for myself in her life, but she never gave me any hope that she regarded me any differently from the many others who surrounded her. She was fair and kind, treating everyone with whom she came into contact equally, showing compassion, kindness and respect but never letting anyone get close.

I grew used to being in her life but not a part of it, to sharing the day to day routine and an occasional social gathering but never seeing the real Kathryn, never being privy to her hopes and dreams, to her pain or her joy. As time went by she relaxed in my company and I became a friend. But only in private. When we were alone she would open up and reveal something of herself to me but in public she remained aloof, never admitting that she would spend time with me for anything more than duty or obligation.

For years she gave her love to another man. She had plans for a future that didn't include me and I knew that while her heart belonged to him there would never be a place for me. I tried to move away, to distance myself from her and find a path of my own. To a degree I was successful. I was content with my life, I had good friends, and the occasional brief fling with a beautiful woman but a part of me longed to be with Kathryn.

When I heard that her fiancé was gone, that she was free to love another, I was tempted to run to her and declare my love but I knew that would be a mistake. She had lost the man she loved and she had to be in pain. What she needed was a friend, someone to talk to, someone to hold her when she cried, someone to help her move on with her life. So that's what I became and little by little we grew closer, sharing more and more of our lives. Finally she came to see me as more than a friend. I was someone with whom she could be a woman instead of a Starfleet officer. She knew that I loved her and I believe that she loved me too but looking back there was a part of her heart that was locked away and I would never have the key.

There was a period when we planned a future together, a home and perhaps a family. But that wasn't to be. The future we thought we had was ripped away and I found myself having to rethink my plans and re-evaluate my dreams.

I didn't want to give up on her, to accept that I'd lost her and move on with my life. As the years passed and I felt more and more alone I was eventually forced to face the truth and seek a future for myself that didn't include Kathryn. I was blessed to find a woman who loved me as much as I grew to love her, who filled my heart with a peace and a passion that had been missing from my relationship with Kathryn. Finally I was taking the first steps towards the future of my dreams and it was time to close the door on the past.

Telling Kathryn that I was going to be married was a bittersweet moment. I wanted to share my joy with my best friend and yet I realised that if she retained any hope of a future for us then the news would cause her pain. But Kathryn is a unique woman and a wonderful friend. When she was eventually able to respond to my news it was with grace and blessings. She said that she hoped we would always be friends and have a special place in each other's heart. She told me that she had learned that sometimes we find love where we least expect it and that events which cause us enormous sorrow can lead to our greatest joy.

And so now I can walk into the future without looking back and I know that Kathryn has found peace and love with the man who holds the key to her heart. I have a new life to build and in another quadrant, thousands of light years away, Kathryn continues to make her way home to Earth, but no longer to me...

Now a note from the author:

Before you flame me or start polishing your bat'leth please note that this story was from MARK's point of view. If you hadn't picked up on that and thought that it was Chakotay's voice please go back and read it again. Yes, it can fit them both but the clues are there!