It wasn't often that Thrawn told stories about his pre-Imperial days to the Chimaera crew. It wasn't often he allowed meeting to run overtime or drag off topic either, but Hammerly wasn't going to complain this one time. Not when the subject of the story was so interesting.
"My first date took place during my first year of academy training. A cadet in her final year had assisted me in clearing my name of academic dishonesty, and I invited her to an art museum as thanks."
"Of course his first date was in an art museum," Pyrondi whispered into Hammerly's right ear. Hammerly waved her off, eager to hear what happened next.
"How long were you in the art museum, sir?" Eli asked from his seat across the meeting table, already visibly dreading the answer. Part of Hammerly felt bad for the mysterious female at this point, but for a senior cadet to give a newbie a chance like that? She couldn't have been expecting much. It was a teenage Thrawn, for crying out loud.
Thrawn paused to remember. "A good while. I was sure to show her my favorite alien pieces in the gallery and see what she thought each meant about the artists' culture. I pitched it to her as a night of 'insight, drama, and the excitement of discovery.'"
"Of course you did," Faro murmured under her breath to Hammerly's right. Hammerly held back a laugh when she remembered Thrawn was currently attempting to teach Faro the same thing about art.
"When did she leave?" Major Carvia asked, struggling to hide his own humor.
Thrawn examined Carvia's face with a raised eyebrow. "We left the gallery together. My date for the evening did not believe my analysis had practical uses, so we returned to her quarters and made lovely art in there."
Well that escalated quickly. Hammerly squinted at Thrawn, trying to guess how handsome he would have been as a younger man. He looked fine by human standards, but Hammerly didn't know what Chiss looked for in a sex partner. Maybe intellect was valued higher in their mating games. Of course, if intellect was so valuable, wouldn't that come with knowledge about safe sex? How many "lovely art pieces" did Chiss academies produce, she wondered.
The thought of Thrawn having a kid was so absurd to the crew. Several officers did not succeed in covering their snorts. When Hammerly looked over, Faro refused to meet anyone's eyes as a blush developed on her face. She resisted the urge to nudge her under the table.
Xoxtin was the first one willing to comment. "Right, and what is the art's name today?"
Thrawn paused. He looked at her as if the question was absurd. "I am not sure if she named it, nor am I aware if she has kept that art to this day."
"How old would the art be by now?"
"Over thirty years. Not old enough to obtain historical value, but the piece shows quite a bit of talent. I'm sure it would be appreciated in specific circles were it to be shown to others."
"Why didn't you two want to keep the art in your life? Did you think you were too young?" Now Carvia was just ribbing him.
Once again, Thrawn showed no sign he understood the controversy at hand. "In a sense, I suppose we were. Both of us had promising military careers ahead of us. Were another party to learn how to gain insight from the art, it would compromise us on the battlefield.
"I did not expect the group of you to share such interest in wire sculptures. I thought the details of our sparring afterwards would have generated more attention. This meeting has strayed over time, I fear." Thrawn collected his items from the head of the meeting table. Everyone stood as he dismissed the meeting, each doing their best to keep the collective shock off their faces.
Once he left, the officers were free to express themselves. Eli groaned first. "How did I know it was going to end that way?"
"They made real art in this chick's bedroom?" Pyrondi shook her head. "Only Thrawn could land a date like that."
"I think it says more about her than it does about him. The fact that this date did not end in disaster says something." Xoxtin left the meeting room, followed by Carvia.
"If that's how Thrawn flirts, I have so many questions." Hammerly glanced over at Faro, then turned away. Faro may not want to talk about it to anyone else yet.
Faro noticed, but her response gave nothing away. "Questions, maybe, but I don't know when we're getting more answers. He always keeps specific details vague in accounts like these."
Eli concurred. "Yeah, no idea. It took me years to get a story with that amount of detail in it."
This revealed two important things to Hammerly. One, Thrawn thinks art is the way to a woman's heart, and two, he has no understanding of sexual innuendo.
Stars bless the poor soul he woos after this meeting.
A/N's: This is just to get me back into writing after some personal shit came up in my life. It's not a serious attempt at fic. The idea comes from a conversation I had with BlueMarbles and draculard, both on Ao3.
I want happy, light things in my life right now. Hope you enjoyed it.