Rain & Fall
by: Lexann
Cast: Sendoh and Rukawa
Note: Apologies for the horrendous title. This is a very impromptu and 'short' musing my mind came up with while studying about histopathology—technically its just the science of processing/grossing dead tissues/biopsy/ organs-post op. (don't bother, lol) And this fic has got nothing to do with my study, haha! This is a poor writing attempt (yet again) in depicting emotions with an obstruse ending. Whatever that means. Dedicated to myself because, this suck. Guaranteed, no quality at all. Lol!
*Dear Starry, bury me now. Ariane, do not read this more than once. Addicted to SD, this is for you. Kidding! :D
Standard Disclaimer Apply
Another night closing in. Another basketball session ending. "So, same time next week?" Sendoh said, wiping his sweaty face with his own towel. Rukawa grunted, not a word spoken, turned around on his heels and started walking away. Sendoh blinked—but went back to gathering his things. He got his watch and checked the time. 6:00 PM. Sharp. 'He's on the dot—as always.' The senior inwardly thought. For the past year, he found himself playing with the stoic player from another rival school. Not that he doesn't liked it, he doesn't have the reason either not to—Sendoh would rather label it as a sense of familiarity to the person whom he has always been playing one-on-ones with for the past two years.
He zipped his bag and placed it around his torso glancing one last time at the direction to which Rukawa just left; it was a little over five minutes since the quiet guy left him. Sendoh then started walking the opposite. And just like that, he would have to wait another week—just to see him, again.
One week later…
Ryonan, Friday, 5:00 PM
"Sendoh!" Koshino called. The aforementioned name paused and looked up to see his approaching teammate. "Hey, where are you going? We have graduation practice today." His teammate informed him. Sendoh blinked in confusion. He almost forgot that every Fridays, there's a practice for their upcoming commencement exercises. But-Sendoh seemed to have other plans; his Fridays are well-likely 'reserved' for his usual one-on-one sessions with Rukawa. And it has been going on for the past year. Sendoh shrugged and put up his usual smile. "I can't, I need to be some place."
Koshino frowned. "What do you mean you can't? This is graduation practice, idiot." His teammate reprimanded him. Sendoh nodded, indeed it is important but—he also thought having that small game with the other person for one hour every week seemed significant as well. Sendoh pulled his bag as he looked at his wrist watch. "Uh, sorry Koshino, I really have to go. I'll try to cope up!" Sendoh waved and started jogging the opposite direction, leaving a bewildered and irate Koshino.
Ryonan Court, 5:10PM
"Sorry… got caught up in something." Sendoh muttered as he waved and placed his bag on the nearest bench. Rukawa had been there, just sitting and staring at him as if he were just a random person whom he happened to know. Sendoh unzipped his bag and brought up his towel, a sports drink, and an extra shirt. Rukawa kept his silence, eyes passively staring at the older guy.
Friendship. Such a simple word yet the hard to explain. Its not something you learn in school, but if you haven't learned the meaning of it, you haven't learned anything. Rukawa sometimes wonder about the word. He refuses to admit that he's friends with Sendoh, yet—he thought he might be the next person he is personally acquainted to, outside Shohoku.
Sendoh can feel Rukawa's eyes on him as he absentmindedly removes his watch and change his shirt. It's the least he can do. It's the only thing he can do. "Um… so, how's school?" Sendoh decides to asked. Dared to. He flickers an eye to see Rukawa scoffing and standing up, dribbling the ball as if he did not hear him. Sendoh paused to turn and observe the younger guy just a few feet away from him. His tall, lanky figure, his raven unruly hair, his pair of blue eyes lined with long lashes, pointed nose… and just like that, at that given moment, Sendoh knew it sucks to be him. It's the worst feeling. This so-called… admiration. Liking someone you can't have. Seeing him everyday, or every week in his case, but knowing he can never be yours. And all he can do is dream about and wish for him, but never have him. Sendoh cleared his throat. "So uh… who'll be the next captain?" He dares asked again. Minutes ticking by and Sendoh knew he's beginning to look like an idiot.
Rukawa furrowed his brows. Sendoh is such a talker. He turned around, a frown on his face and passed the ball. "Game on." Sendoh expertly caught the ball with one hand, blinked and could only nod as he approaches the defense stance of the Rukawa. He dribbled the ball and kept his eye on his opponent. In that instance, he saw nothingness. Rukawa's eyes devoid of any other things—other than the orange ball.
It was then Sendoh realised for the second time that no matter how many times he wins against Rukawa in their one-on-ones, at the end of each game, he knew it was him who truly loses. But he doubts if Rukawa ever knew that. And it became his resolve to let the other know of his predicament. The only question is how. Their game ensued, just like any other usual Fridays, up until a certain time, and when the clock strikes six, Sendoh knew it was another night closing in on him.
Rukawa lost (again), it was a tight game and Sendoh knew that he had to pull everything he had just to keep him on the edge. He would never admit but Rukawa has greatly improved and its getting harder every week to keep up with the Shohoku player since being trained in an All-Japan camp. It was a dilemma he had just to live with, either he dies trying to win because Sendoh knew it was all he had to have Rukawa coming back to him.
Him. A mere challenger, an opponent, an obstacle he had to get away with. And pathetic as it may sound, while Sendoh also tries his very hard not to tumble, the harder he falls.
"You've improved." Sendoh smiled, nodding in the direction of the huffing Rukawa who was sitting with both of his hands clenched atop his knees. "Great game." Sendoh added as he drinks from his bottle. Rukawa batted an eye to his right to meet the gaze of the talking senior. He would have strangled Sendoh if he were another person. Improved? Great? He lost, and Sendoh had the audacity to speak as if he won against him. Almost sounded like an insult. "I lost." Rukawa muttered as if reminding Sendoh.
Sendoh blinked, surprised. "Yeah but… you almost had me." Sendoh mumbled, noting the irony of his own statement. Rukawa snorted and grab his towel and placed it on his mouth, trying to placate his breathing.
Silence.
Sendoh sat down on the other bench and stared at nothing in particular. Any moment now, he knew Rukawa would stand up, gather up his belongings, and leave without uttering a word. And indeed, it was what happened. Sendoh looked at his watch and it read 6:10pm. Slowly, he felt his lips tugging upward. He was happy. He was able to kept him—even for just another ten minutes. After resting, Sendoh stood up, gathered his things, and with one last glance on the now darkened court, he walked towards the opposite direction.
Another week, another Friday—then another, and another. Their one-on-ones continued and with each session, the game scores always end up differently, yet one thing remained. It's the sixty-minutes of Sendoh with Rukawa. Sometimes they would finish on time, sometimes they would finish the game a bit later. But at the end of each session, even if Sendoh spent the whole day with the latter, he ends up missing him, the second he leaves. People often say that the only precious thing more than our time, is the time for whom we spend it on, Sendoh often wonders if Rukawa even shares the same mess he's into.
Rukawa dribbled low, eyes stealthily gazing right into Sendoh's blue orbs. And with a sudden rush, he drove past Sendoh to the latter's surprise. Sendoh chased after the running Rukawa; the younger rushed towards the basket and jumped up; Sendoh caught up-determined to block the attempt but was astounded when Rukawa quickly switched the ball from his left to the right and dunked the orange leather straight into the rim.
The two players almost simultaneously descended, huffing and puffing from running to and from the court for the past thirty minutes without break. The timer beeped off—Rukawa won. A staggering one-point win, but a win nonetheless. Sendoh gulped, feeling his parched throat. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, unable to move beyond that. His mind raced on what to say. Should he congratulate him? Its not even an official game, still…
Rukawa, almost breathless, heaved a sigh; he knew he won—by a point. He slowly turned around and walked towards the bench, grab his bottle of water and drank as if he has been born out of dehydration. Sendoh approached his own bench and sat down, putting a towel on his neck as he stared across the now empty court. Rukawa won. Sendoh's mind wondered if Rukawa would stop playing with him now. The probability of Rukawa having a winning streak over him now is certain, since he had finally taste what it feels like to win a game with someone whom he almost deemed as impossible. Sendoh dreaded the thought. It was… almost impossible to think. But, he can only do so little.
He saw the quiet player getting up, readying his things—the usual. Sendoh took in the moment to stare at the player. "You… won. Nice game." He found himself able to say the words. Rukawa did not pause though, lest continued packing his things rather slowly. At that given moment, Sendoh knew it would be too easy to say that he feels invisible. Instead, he feels painfully visible, and entirely ignored—which alone hurts. He was continued to be greeted by silence. Sendoh, sensing nothing would be uttered, started packing his things as well, his eyes suddenly overwhelmed with oblivion; the feeling of being ignored, its almost like asking Rukawa to be make him unseen as he makes him feel.
Rukawa zipped his bag and paused, he slowly turned to his left, eyes obscured beneath his fringes as he stared at the taller boy who was gathering his things and folding his sweaty shirt. "Next Friday." Sendoh blinked, paused and slowly turned to his right, it sure wasn't him who spoke. He blinked and saw Rukawa, ready to go, hand clutching one strap from his bag. When Sendoh failed to respond, Rukawa started walking away. Only then Sendoh seemed to have been whacked from his reverie. "W-wait." He stammered. Rukawa, miraculously paused, astonishing Sendoh. The latter turned around to hear him. Sendoh felt his chest raced. He scratched his nape slowly and searched for the words. His eyes partly caught on the wristwatch he's been holding. The time read 6:15 PM.
"Uh." He started. Rukawa stood like a statue, unmoving but one can see almost the indifference in his eyes. "I cant." Sendoh stated. Silence. "I mean, I need to attend the commencement exercise practise." Rukawa blinked—must be because this is the first time he heard Sendoh talked about 'something'. Although he was rather a bit surprised since it almost didn't occur to him that Sendoh indeed is now a senior—a graduating student. So that means, he's off to college—so it means… Rukawa realised at that given moment that after this, no more Sendoh to play his usual one-on-ones. No more Sendoh from Ryonan whom he had to face every basketball match. No more Sendoh. No more-obstacle. Rukawa snorted. Sendoh was made to stare, wondering if it's a sigh of relief from Rukawa, knowing that he's finally graduating and that would make the stoic boy alone, the best in their small town. Rukawa simply nod his head and turned around—uttering not even an 'okay'.
Sendoh, at that time already knew, that the feeling of loneliness never quite leaves him, and that maybe its impossible after all to come up with his resolve, still he silently hopes. 'Maybe after next week. I'll just say it straight into his face and just… not expect.'
The next Friday…
The bell rang. Sendoh stared at his watch, it was 5:00 pm. Usually he'd scuffle along, pull his bag and jog to the familiar court nearby; there, he'd see a lone figure, sometimes sitting, sometimes dribbling and he would approach him, greet him with a wave or a nod and then they would start playing. He would win, like most of the time, but the last time he checked—he lost. But not today. He wouldn't be losing, for he will not be playing. Sendoh stood up with his bag behind him and started walking to where the practise for the commencement exercise is to be held.
"Glad you can make it this time." Koshino muttered as he walked with their Captain to Ryonan's hall. Sendoh simply nodded and put up his usual demeanor. Koshino stared at his colleague. "You don't seem ecstatic. This is graduation, silly." He almost berated. Sendoh chuckled softly and scratched his head. "Do you need me to jump and run around these halls, clacking my heels in glee?" He grinned. Koshino scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Where were you every Fridays, anyway?" Sendoh contemplated. Truth is, he never mentioned to anyone that he had been playing with Rukawa in the last two years. He deemed of it as unnecessary. He wondered if he should say it now, since he's graduating anyway.
"I…" Sendoh stated. Koshino waited. Sendoh smiled. "Just around." Koshino furrowed his brows. "Oh look, we're here." Sendoh stated, as they finally arrived at the dome-shaped hall; it was already filled with senior students, some stopped and stared as they both arrived. Sendoh was about to sit to where he thought he was designated when Coach Taoka approach him and smack him with a fan on the arm, earning a few chuckles from the students around. "What the heck, I was told you weren't attending practise!" The old man berated. Koshino simply rolled his eyes and walked towards to where all surnames with 'K' lined.
Sendoh smiled and chuckled softly as he brushes over his arm and held a peace sign. "Sorry, coach. I'm here now." Taoka could only shook his head in disbelief and pointed Sendoh to where he should be.
Sendoh approach the line to where all students with 'S' surnames are, placing himself to where he should be. His eyes caught up to the glass window of the hall, catching a glimpse of the sky. Sendoh looked out the window. The sky was tar-black and large clouds were moving towards the sky. He heard a tapping on the window and then it became a pitter-patter. The dark clouds brought water.
In that moment, Sendoh's mind began to wander someplace—rather, to someone. And while some just feels drenched from the rain, others simply feel it. He began to muse that the best thing one can do when its pouring, is to let it. And so, the 'other' practise for him… began.
Same day, 5:30 PM
Rukawa fired a jumper from the three-point range and watched as the ball sailed before going in. His eyes caught of the looming nimbus clouds. Up to now, the sky had been postcard-perfect, but it was changing. The beautiful cocktail blue was beginning to darken into gravel-gray. Large pillows of cloud were forming, blotting out the old gold-colour of the sun.
Rukawa caught up with the ball and walked towards the bench, packing some of his things inside the bag. Just then, it began to rain. He started to quicken his pace. Rukawa jogged towards under an old oak tree within the court, leaning on its trunk. Droplets of moisture began to drip from the leaves and Rukawa could only look at the shower.
His mind began to wonder—why is he even out there? He knew Sendoh wouldn't be around to play since the older said he's got a school thing going on. Rukawa's eyes turned towards the entrance/exit of the court. He saw a few people running for cover outside and umbrellas were opened as the clouds spat out their beads of water. Puddles began plinking as the rainfall became heavier. He gritted his teeth in annoyance; irritation seeping into him as he thought about his own stubbornness. Rukawa honestly thought that Sendoh might just be bluffing—that he'd just come in late and they'd played their usual one-on-ones. Truly, stubborn and ardent clinging to one's opinion is the best proof of stupidity. And he didn't even bring his bike, to make matters worst.
And with one last kick on a rock nearby, he decides to brave the downpour and jogged towards the exit.
Meanwhile…
Sendoh stared at the piece of paper that was handed to them. It was a little past after six pm and practice ended a few minutes ago, emptying the hall from students. The teachers handed them some sort of registration form for them to fill-up. They would need to pass this form on Monday together with the confirmation of how many guests they are bringing with them for next week's commencement. He cannot believe his eyes that this has been his first and presumably last practice as well since graduation is by next week already. Sendoh honestly thought he still have an extra week left. He absentmindedly walked the halls to the exit.
"Sendoh!"
The basketball Ace turned to look a waving Uekusa, Koshino, and Fukuda. He approached his co-graduating teammates and nodded with a smile. "We're heading at Uozumi's. Wanna join us?" Koshino asked with a smile. "Sure, why not." Sendoh muttered as they all started walking and paused when they were almost outside.
"Sure is a downpour." Uekusa stated as the four stared at the shower before them. The roofs of the school and cars danced with spray and everyone can hear the murmuring of the rain. It almost sounded like the buzzing of angry bees. Sendoh stared passively at the intense shower, its sound blurring into one, long whirring noise. It almost reminded him of the rotor blades on a helicopter. He glanced at his watch as and took note of the time—6:30 PM. Sendoh mulled at the fact that with a deluge almost as this, its almost impossible for Rukawa to probably play. He gasped at his own statement, wondering the oddity of having his thoughts float out that far. But it did so anyway… almost effortlessly.
Eventually, the noise lessened and the drops faded into a musical chime. "Phew, and I thought we'd be stuck here forever." Koshino muttered as they stretched and stood up from where they were all sprawled. The sky turned two shades lighter again, casting slanted beams of faint light across the roads. The image of the gray sky was so vivid that it almost stayed with Sendoh all throughout as the four students walked on the side road.
Uozumi greeted his former teammates and immediately served them with some hot ramen soup and sushi. "Its on the house, consider it as graduation treats." He muttered and they all cheered in glee. "Thanks Uozumi-san." Sendoh stated as the former center pat the spiky-haired on the back. They all started digging in, amidst the joyful chatters and fun-filled stories they all would remember as far as they could, being a Ryonan alumnus.
After the small meeting, the four waved and bow their goodbyes and thanks to Uozumi and his father as they thread the peaceful night ahead. Koshino and Uekusa head off the opposite direction and Sendoh and Fukuda walked the other way, their own silence accompanying them. Sendoh paused when he felt that Fukuda stopped and leaned on the cemented bridge overlooking a small river. He stared at his companion as Fukuda grabbed a stick and lit it up. He lit up a stick, inhaled in and puffed out a smoke. He then turned his almost slit-like eyes to Sendoh who was just a few feet away.
"You want?" Fukuda asked their Captain to which Sendoh simply shook his head. "Thanks, but… no." Fukuda simply nodded and said nothing; continued smoking. Sendoh took in the time and leaned as well, eyes hovering above the river and the lit houses/ neighborhood just across the bridge. Usually its him and Koshino waking home together but tonight's a bit different since Koshino and Uekusa would try to finish an RPG game they've been in on lately at Uekusa's place.
The quiet evening was interrupted though when Fukuda spoke. "You getting into Todai?" Sendoh turned to his right, meeting the gaze of their power forward. "Tokyo U? Nah." Sendoh stated with a shrugged. Fukuda nodded. "'Bout you?" Sendoh asked back. Fukuda shrugged. "Applied at Kanagawa U." Sendoh blinked in surprise, he never thought of Fukuda as someone who highly thinks of education but—maybe he's partly wrong about it. He smiled and nodded. "That's great. Good luck." Fukuda simply smirked and nodded. Sendoh sighed and leaned back. "Got scouted at Shintai though."
"Shintai." Pause. "Isn't that where Akagi of Shohoku High is?" Fukuda muttered. Sendoh nodded with a smile. Fukuda scoffed lightly and puffed out another smoke. "Guess you'll still be playing ball in college, huh." Fukuda added. Sendoh blinked but did not say a thing. Its true that he loves the sport but he feels that there's maybe more to life than basketball itself. "I… don't know. Maybe." Fukuda leaned around, facing the river as well as both boys stared at nothing in particular, feeling the slight cold breeze of the after rain. Just a week and they're saying goodbye to Ryonan, to their teachers, their classmates… to each other. College doesn't always guarantee that they'll still constantly be in contact with each other; college is a stage in life—it's the beginning of life itself. An investment. A peep into the real world through proper education. Their first glimpse of it.
"You didn't play today."
Sendoh blinked, turning to his right in surprise. He looked at Fukuda who was already staring at him, his lips slightly tugged at one corner as his two arms crossed each other while leaning on the bridge. "With him." Fukuda added as he placed his stick on his lips, inhaled and puffed out smoke. "Rukawa." Sendoh seemed to have been kicked on the shin as he came to realize Fukuda's words. But the thing is, he wondered how he knew-about his one-on-one trysts.
"Uh well… yeah." Sendoh stated, sensing its no use to deny. Fukuda scoffed. Sendoh wanted to asked how but he thought it would sound a bit like…dubious of him. "Saw you two a few times—on that old court not far from here." Sendoh was grateful inwardly his question was answered. "Yeah, I told him I got commencement practise today so…" Sendoh trailed off, his mind now transporting him back to the raven-haired guy from another rival school. Fukuda said nothing as he flicked his stick and stomped on it. He heaved a sigh and clutched his bag—started walking past Sendoh.
"It's a good place, you know," Fukuda stated. Sendoh could only look, wondering Fukuda's words. "when all you have is hope and not expectations."
And in that given moment, Sendoh was left to mull about three things; he wondered if Fukuda is referring to his chosen University, or the old court—or maybe something else… something akin to an emotion, a feeling; a fleeting feeling he would soon learn that'll pass by him but would perhaps also linger for as long as he can remember.
Next Friday (Commencement Day)
Graduation. The event that has changed their lives in many ways. Everyone goes through changes and majority of people have had the opportunity and privilege to experience changes that comes with it. Sendoh would have to say that aside from the sport he has come to love, this is the one thing that would probably have a great impact in his life. It was surprisingly a hot day, not too humid, but a bright late morning nonetheless, beaming with pride. He was sprinting all over his house trying to get all of his things. His parents have been busy getting dressed as well as his older brother.
"I'm going ahead now—see you guys in thirty minutes, don't be late!" Sendoh hollered and went out of the house.
Sendoh arrived at Ryonan, that wonderful Friday afternoon. He went straight into their respective classrooms, got their blue gowns and academic caps and waited for further instructions from their teachers. His classmates and some girls took the time to have their photos taken with him and have him signing on their white shirts, uniforms, etc. Sendoh took in the time to chat and laugh with his classmates and a few familiar faces. They all gave each other high-fives, wrote messages on girl's autograph books, talked about college, and just shared their fondest memories of High School. Sendoh stepped outside of his classroom and went to meet his teammates, they all decided to go to the faculty office and surprise their old coach. Taoka was getting ready for the event as well when the room was barged in by tall and big players from his team, including Uozumi and Ikegami who dropped by. In spite of his usual bicker and the ruckus, they all shared a heartfelt moment and gave the old man a gift to which they all chipped in.
A few hours later…
The hall was now full of people; mostly parents, guardians, siblings, etc. They all sat to where they were assigned and waited in anticipation, taking in photos and videos of this momentous event they would all remember for the rest of their lives. The parents stood up with pride as the graduands started marching in with their blue gowns and caps. For a minute, they all look so grown up. Their gowns were buttoned up as if saying they weren't ready for this yet but the big smiles on their faces looked as if they could take on the world. The infamous Pomp and Circumstance graduation walking march started playing in. Some put on a smile on their faces as they try to force back the tears that started to line up on the rim of their eyelids.
And soon, the usual graduation rites were concluded one by one until each name of student would be called to march up the stage, shake hands with the important people, received their dockets and stepped down right back to their seats. When his turn came up to be called, there was a thunderous clap and some cheers from some students. Sendoh could only chuckle to himself, shake his head, as he came up to shake hands with his teacher, Coach Taoka and the Ryonan's COO. His parents and brother couldn't have been prouder. And as for Sendoh, the feeling is so overwhelming but he is grateful.
When the ceremony ended, the students clenched each other in a big hug. They all felt the warm tears rushing down their cheeks. Sendoh tapped hands with his classmates, teachers, his teammates, and other familiar faces. Team Ryonan, together with their Coach, hugged each other and Taoka was more than surprised to be lifted that day to his horror by his players, asking them to put him down, as they refused to do so, accompanied by the cheers and chuckles of his co-teachers.
These things. These so-called little things about friendships that get looked over, but when one actually stop and see a glimpse of them, those are some of the greatest moments.
Meanwhile…
Rukawa stared at the empty court. He glanced at his celphone—the time read 5:30PM. He continued dribbling the ball and practised shooting again in all corners for the nth time. He would run on the other end of the court, imagining an opponent—cross court, spin, and do a reverse lay-up. This would go on for another few minutes until he would stop. When he pulled a jumper, he walked towards the bench, ignoring the ball as it rolled on one side of the court. Rukawa sat quietly on the bench, the bright afternoon sun and its rays hovering above him as his hair clads in sweat; his back, his arms, legs, his face… all sweaty. He licked his lips and wiped it using the back of his hand.
Sendoh seems not to be arriving. Rukawa pondered if the older boy told him that he wouldn't be coming as well this week—but as far as he can remember, he didn't. The thing is—two years of playing their usual one-on-ones, they never once, exchanged contact numbers. Rukawa doesn't have any means to 'contact' the older boy from Ryonan. And in a way, he thought it was rather given that every Fridays, they would meet up in this olden court near Ryonan—for once a week, sixty minutes… to play. But today was—no Sendoh came up to play. Rukawa began to wonder if him winning against him last time brought about a feeling of 'threat' to his older rival. But it cannot be—it just cant. Its just a one-point win and Rukawa never took Sendoh as someone who would back away just because of one loss. Heck, Rukawa honestly thought Sendoh would have even consider his winning as… a stroke of luck.
Rukawa stared at the entrance of the court—it was peaceful. Not much people walking around, no spiky-haired from Ryonan wearing his usual shirt and shorts, clutching his duffel bag to be seen. No spiky-haired to be 'talking' whatever under the sun. Rukawa, for the first time thought—it was rather a bit unnerving. But—what is there to feel unsettlement for? Rukawa erased his thoughts as he brings out his power drink, twist the cap open and drank on it. He decided he'd wait until 6:00 pm. Then again… maybe Sendoh is just late as a sloth.
Two weeks passed…
Sendoh stared at the empty court—the one in which he and Rukawa would play, only today, there's no one in it. It is a Friday, and maybe, just maybe, he had hope to see the once rookie of Shohoku there, only that he isn't. It has been two weeks since he graduated and the past ten days had been a roller coaster ride. He spent all the week passing and complying college admission requirements and taking entrance exams. Sendoh, despite of being scouted in Shintai, took the time as well to try and apply in other universities/ colleges. He tried at Waseda U, Kanagawa U, a few other colleges and was about to try his luck in Tokyo U but did not meet the deadline. He never thought that these would all take too much of his time. But it did. It did so readily that he almost didn't have time to held the familiar orange leather ball on his hands.
He felt his hand gripped the ball he had been carrying, expecting that he'd probably be able to play today, expecting that he'd probably be greeted by the presence of another player—a formidable one; younger and had that passion as well on the sport he has come to love, expecting to see that familiar scowl, expecting to hear the usual snort, scoff, or that small pout whenever things doesn't go his way…
Sendoh felt the corner of his lips slightly tugging upward. Its these thoughts… these small thoughts that somehow keeps reminding him of his resolve that he has yet to accomplish. Sendoh sighed almost dejectedly and sat down on the bench, placing the ball beneath his right foot. He stared at the empty court and flipped open his phone. He had the sudden urge… that sudden impulse… a seemingly desire to call him—only that he doesn't have his number. And to whom will he ask Rukawa Kaede's number? Turns out he has no idea. He flipped-closed his phone and started swirling the small mobile with his three fingers, eyes staring into the ground.
Suddenly there was a breeze. It began as a whispering in the air. The day had been beautiful and the sky was like a dome of plasma-blue. The clouds had looked like airy anvils under the gleaming disc of sun. A huffing wind rose up then, stirring his quiet reverie. Sendoh looked up to see the sky beginning to darken into gravel-grey. Then a tinkling sound came to his ears as the first pearls of rain dropped onto the leaves.
"Oh shit." Sendoh softly muttered. Standing up, picking up the ball in a hurried pace and stuffing it into his duffel bag. He walked briskly as he exited the court and looked for the nearest shelter nearby as a sheet of rain passed over him and the sound intensified. He jogged across an old-looking coffee shop with empty tables and took shelter under the canopy outside. Sendoh took note of how it has been raining a lot lately these past few weeks. He opened his bag and fished for his trusty umbrella, opening it with one click as he chooses to walk towards the train station—deciding on one thing.
Sakuragi exited the basketball gym, huffing and puffing as he went outside to wash his hair and face on the sink situated exteriorly. The redhead approached the sink, turned on the faucet and leaned down and started washing his hair, nape, and face while humming his usual 'tensai song'. Sakuragi wiped his head with his own towel and exhaled; looking up at the sky as soft drizzles of rain filled their day. He walked back the cemented pathway that leads back to the gym but stopped midway. His brows were furrowed as he squinted both eyes as if trying to focus. "Teme…" He gnarled.
"Hey, Sakuragi." A smile. Sakuragi placed his towel around his nape and smirked. He knew the person; the last time he saw the person was in the qualifying rounds for the Nationals. Sakuragi leaned on the nearby post, cackling and smirking as the latter approached him. Sendoh lowered his umbrella and pressed it close. Sakuragi eyed the visitor—Sendoh was wearing a plain gray shirt and a pair of denim pants and basketball shoes; one hand clutching the strap to his duffel bag.
"And here I thought my eyes are deceiving me. Teme, Sendoh." He smirked but Sakuragi held his hand. Sendoh smiled and accepted the redhead's handshake. Basketball truly had made the power forward-now center of Shohoku a true sports man. Sports do not build character, they reveal it. And to Sendoh, Sakuragi had come a long way. "Your eyes are fine, Sakuragi." Sendoh muttered. Sakuragi scoffed and chuckled. "What in this bleak world brought you here, huh, teme Spiky?" Sakuragi asked, his usual goading nature checking in.
Sendoh heaved a sigh and wondered. The skies continued pouring, although a soft drizzle already, but still it brought water. Sendoh contemplated if he should just say it head on. 'I came to see Rukawa, is he around?' But for some reason, he didn't want to sound a bit imposing as well, knowing how simpleton a man like Sakuragi could be.
"Heard you graduated already, Spiky." Sakuragi stated. Sendoh blinked and smiled. "Yeah, actually." A pause. Sakuragi grinned. "Congratulations then." He cackled. Sendoh nodded; felt his hand on his wet umbrella. "Thank you, Sakuragi." A pause. "How's your back injury?" Sendoh prodded a bit, after hearing what happened from this redhead a year ago. Sakuragi shrugged. "Nothing a genius can't handle." A grin. As expected from someone like him. Sendoh smiled and found his eyes flickering on the nearby entrance to the gym, partly seeing a few new players.
"So, what brings you here? Are you here to spy at the prowess of this Tensai?" Sakuragi chided almost like a child. Sendoh simply scoffed and chuckled lightly to himself, amused at Sakuragi's naiveness. Sendoh shook his head. "Actually I…" Sendoh started, feeling suddenly the slight racing in his chest. Is he getting clammy all now? Sakuragi stared, noting a slight uneasiness on the usually calm and collected former Ryonan Ace, but he kept it at bay.
"Break times over, doahou."
"Shut up! Teme!" Sakuragi shouted as he scoffed and walked past Sendoh. "I got a visitor, you good for nothing fox!" Sakuragi continued with his usual tirade.
Sendoh stood frozen on his spot, thing is… he knew the owner of the voice. And that word, only one person uses it—on Sakuragi Hanamichi. He felt his throat dry as he gulped involuntarily and slowly turned to his left. Sakuragi was still there, ranting, carrying on with his usual ruckus and of course there could only be one person whom he would release all his banters onto…
Rukawa slowly turned an eye from Sakuragi to the person standing a few feet away from them. He stared—hard. His steely gaze beneath his raven-haired fringes were like daggers flying. However, the said visitor only staring back at him with an unreadable expression. Sakuragi continued with his tirade. Sendoh heaved a sigh and nodded. "Erm…hey, Rukawa."
Sakuragi momentarily stared from Rukawa to Sendoh and scoffed. "You looking for this good for nothing Captain fox?! Paah!" The redhead threw his hands up and stomped his feet back into the gym, leaving the two behind. Sendoh simply blinked at Sakuragi's uproar and was taken back into reality when he saw Rukawa simply looking at him and turning his back as well to go inside the gym—and sliding the door close.
"Uh—w-wait, Rukawa-kun." But the gym door was closed. Sendoh let out a sigh and scratched his nape, clueless as to what to do next. He decided to go to Shohoku, amidst the rain, but what for? Ah, he wanted actually to talk to Rukawa about the past week that he wasn't able to attend their usual practice one-on-one match but…
Sendoh stared at the closed door, hearing the dribbling of ball and squeaking of rubber against the linoleum. He glanced at his watch and it read 5:30 PM. He leaned back on the outside wall of the gym, under the canopy and found himself staring at the grey sky. He wondered if he made the right choice of coming at Shohoku—unannounced. And in that dark late afternoon, he realised that decisions are probably the hardest things to make, especially when it is a choice between where you should be and where you want to be.
Sendoh slid down to sit on the cemented floor, wondering if he should just leave perhaps and maybe, try another day. He lifted his knee and decided to just come back or don't bother at all but as he was about to stand up, dusting his pants and shaking off his umbrella, he was made to look at the gym door as it was slid opened.
"Want to come inside?"
Sendoh's eyes blinked. Puzzled and surprise, he turned to look behind him and saw no one. He turned back to stare at the owner of the voice. There, he saw impatience.
Sendoh nodded. "S-Sure." A pause. "Thanks." Sendoh added. Rukawa simply scoffed.
Sendoh stared at the final thirty-minutes practise of the new Shohoku team. He was more than surprise to know that it was Rukawa who was made Captain, amidst Sakuragi's undying protest. Rukawa heed no pay to even introduce him as the players stopped and stared at him. He simply nodded at them and almost smiled curtly and made his way onto one vacant bench. He was approached though shortly by the new manageress, Haruko amidst Sakuragi's indignant protest once again. Sendoh sat quietly as he watched the players run, passed, shoot, and dribble. Most especially, he silently watched the new Captain of Shohoku as he gives short orders, advises, and the whatnots while pointing to the new players. In the middle of the grey skies and low rumbling sound of thunder, Sendoh found his lips tugging upward.
6:00 PM
Shohoku practice ended and the players lined up for some last-minute briefing. Haruko stated some important reminders as few players nodded. Sakuragi was laughing his usual when he was complimented by Haruko. Rukawa uttered a few words, barely audible but he did and after all the informalities they all started with the task of cleaning the gym and stocking up the balls back to its own place. Sendoh watched quietly on the bench as the routine picked up, it was kind of nostalgic even if he has just been a few weeks away from Ryonan, but the routine of practising, brief talking with Coach Taoka, cleaning the gym, chatters with co-players and as such, it brought about a feeling of nostalgia as he found himself reminiscing the good old years.
He heaved a sigh and stretched his long legs, eyes on the linoleum floor. Barely looking up, he did not notice that he was approached. Sendoh managed to looked up when he thought he saw a shadow casting nearby. It was Rukawa, holding an orange ball on one hand. Sendoh was… surprised and partly feeling perplexed.
Rukawa's expression was unreadable, his face passive, his lips in its usual inert line, eyes lined with long lashes that seemed to glare beneath his dark fringes just stared right onto Sendoh's clueless orbs. A few players seemed to have gotten their attention as they paused and watched their Captain approach their visitor whom they don't know, not even the name.
"Play with me." Rukawa muttered. Sendoh blinked. It wasn't even a request; it was more like—a statement. Just a sentence, not an asking type of sentence—just plain declaration that he, Sendoh Akira, should play with him, Rukawa Kaede-no matter what. Sendoh had one minute to contemplate, or so he thinks. His eyes met with the eyes of the boy his mind has come to preoccupied; those same eyes that he made a resolve to tell him of his feelings. The same eyes probably that would look down on him with disgust when he hears of his predicament. Sendoh nodded, a smile on his lips. "Sure." Cant back down, can he?
Sakuragi emerged from the washroom, whistling and feeling all too happy and excited since he and Haruko are going on a date that evening. He was about to gather his belongings when he noticed the players huddling on one side of the court, eyes seem to be fixated on the middle. He scoffed and walked to see what the commotion is all about. His eyes widened as his lips made their way into a grin, placing his left hand on his hip and pointing almost menacingly at the two men in the middle of the court.
"Ahahaha! Beat him, Sendoh Akira of Ryonan!" Sakuragi hooted as his other team members whispered to each other in surprise. They've heard of his name. They've heard of Ryonan and how the infamous 'scoring machine' and once Ace of Ryonan carried his team to the Nationals. It was him—this Sendoh Akira. The younger players suddenly felt ecstatic as they await the match up. They are far more thrilled to be witnessing how their Captain/Ace of Shohoku would play against a talented opponent.
"Captain…"
"Whoah, so he is Sendoh Akira?"
"Oh, I've heard of him…"
"He's been featured in a magazine last year…"
"He looks skillful…"
"Rukawa-senpai knows him?"
"I heard they used to be rivals…"
Sendoh, aware of the mild hubbub amongst the new and younger Shohoku players cast an eye on them, to Sakuragi who had his usual grin and goading look on then to Rukawa who was a few feet away from him, holding an orange ball. The thing is, he was expecting a game against Rukawa, he just didn't know that he was going against him in his own court—Shohoku's to be exact. It was a bit, unnerving. Although he had a fair share of playing in Shohoku two years ago, when Ryonan and Shoyo combined for a friendly practice game for Shohoku. The pressure of wanting not to lose is immense. Its like wanting to beat the hell out of Rukawa in his own turf, but also not wanting to feel bad for him right after. Sendoh's mind sure is quite a mess.
Sendoh scoffed lightly, earning a blink from Rukawa as he removed his wristwatch, glancing on it briefly before stuffing it inside his back pocket. Rukawa eyed Sendoh—he's got a silicone baller on his right wrist, he was wearing his basketball shoes alright, a shirt that doesn't look like some 'practice' shirt, and a pair of denim jeans. Rukawa also took note that Sendoh seemed to be carrying a file folder as well. Almost looked like he was actually looking for a part-time job or whatever. Rukawa kept his thoughts at bay—shifting his wandering mind back into the moment.
Rukawa scoffed and passed the ball to Sendoh and took a few steps back. Sendoh caught the ball single-handedly and dribbled it once—twice, then regularly. He can feel eyes on him as he caught the other students looking at him, as if gauging him from a distance, wondering as to how he would fair against their primed Captain. Sendoh is willing to bet that Sakuragi is probably the only person staking on him right now, and its not even because he thinks he's a good player, its just an excuse to annoy Rukawa.
Sendoh dribbled faster this time, taking on his usual offense position, bending low as he stared into the eyes of his opponent. The small crowd instantly drew in. Yasuda took in the pleasure of being the timer and scorer as well. He nodded when Sendoh took a quick glance at him. Sendoh tossed a sigh. 'Here goes nothing…' He inwardly muttered.
Sendoh attacked, causing Rukawa to block. Sendoh dribbled expertly and tried attacking again but Rukawa's defense is there. Just then, he decides to try a trick he recently learned while watching random street basketball on the internet; he wasn't able to do it during official games and one-on-ones with Rukawa, but he was able to do it while playing alone on the olden court in Ryonan. Sendoh dribbled lowly in front of him creating space between him and Rukawa; using his left hand and with a quick dash of move, he dribbled in the inside of his left leg—sending the ball behind him; Rukawa tried to close in to his left but just as the ball bounced up behind him, Sendoh's right hand was there to get the ball at the back to the surprise of the people watching. The 'space' paved way for him to rush to the basket and get the first two points via lay-up.
"Whoah!"
"That was… cool!"
"Did you see that?!"
Yasuda was partly enthralled to see it as he almost forgot to put up a score in favor of Sendoh. He turned the paper score to two and continued to watch. Sakuragi was dumbfounded when he saw how Sendoh's ball handling ability once again proved, why two years ago, he can't beat him. He clenched his fist tight as he felt rejuvenated and inspired as well. Rukawa stared as Sendoh caught up with the ball and passed it onto him. The Shohoku Captain spun the ball in between his fingertips and prepared to counterattack. Truth is, Sendoh's fancy dribbling skill got him a bit wide-eyed, he thought it was his first time to see it. Sendoh sighed in relieved upon making the first basket and could only smile to himself and to Rukawa when their eyes met.
Rukawa settled for his usual counterattack. Dribbling the ball, changing its pace then attacking but Sendoh proves to be a tough defensive player as well, owing it to Taoka's strict 'defense' practice in Ryonan. Rukawa tried once more and when Sendoh tried to block him, he spun around fluidly, escaping Sendoh's defense (to the latter's surprise) jumped up and fired a jumper. The ball went in. As expected, his teammates, younger players cheered for him. The score was 2-2 all. Sakuragi laughed. "Teme, fluke shot! Sendoh's too nice, he let you scored nyahahah!"
Rukawa threw a glare at his vice-Captain but ignored him like usual. He stared at Sendoh who chuckled softly a bit, amused at Sakuragi's undying antics. "Sorry…" He cleared his throat. "Sakuragi sure is in his usual self." Sendoh muttered. Rukawa simply scoffed. "You must mean, moronic self."
Sendoh blinked before smiling. That's a lot of words. For once, he thought he forgot the feeling of being overlooked by this certain person. Rukawa seems to be regarding him a bit now. And to Sendoh, he thought of it as happiness; its when you start perceiving the gains, no matter how small they seem.
The young players were astounded as they mentally took notes as to how both players show their skills and versatility on court. It was enough to have them sticking by for another thirty minutes. And so, the game between two heated rivals, resumed.
Sendoh leaned on the outside cemented sink after washing his face and hair. The thirty minutes of play sure made him perspire—feeling his shirt and pants drained in sweat. He huffed as he fished for his wristwatch and placing them on his left wrist, checking the time; 7:11pm. His one-on-one game with Rukawa ended a few minutes ago and it was… quite a tough one. He lost to Rukawa. By a mere point. He took in the loss gracefully, offering his hand for a shake amidst the cheers and hoots of Rukawa's teammates. The said stoic boy simply tapped his hand and turned his back on him.
Sendoh was approached by Sakuragi, berating him that he shouldn't have gone easy with the fox. Sendoh could only laugh and explain that he didn't loose on purpose but trust the simpleton Sakuragi to think otherwise. He could only watch as the redhead walked away from him, with a change mood as he and Haruko exited the gym. Sendoh could only smile to himself and he on the other hand went straight outside the gym to wash.
He felt his throat parched—he stared at the sink and wondered that maybe he should just drink tap water instead, no matter how many times his mother would often remind him that filtered water is safer. Sendoh rolled his eyes and turned the faucet, placing his right palm, scooping water in and was about to drink it when the door to the gym slid open with a loud thud. He blinked his eyes in confusion. It was Rukawa. The quiet boy walked towards him with something in hand. Sendoh stared at something that was being given to him. It was a two-liter Gatorade. In his favorite flavor—fruit punch. Sendoh stared at Rukawa who was passively handing him the bottle.
Sendoh gratefully took the bottle, smiled and nodded. "Thank you." He muttered softly. Rukawa simply looked at him. For some reason Rukawa thought Sendoh looked a bit different, noticing how his spiky-hair fell off when drenched with water, making them look like shorter fringes. Sendoh twist the cap open and was about to drink when he paused.
"Uh… how about you?" Sendoh asked, offering the bottle back to Rukawa to the latter's surprise. Rukawa went a bit wide-eye and shook his head. Sendoh nodded in understanding and drank the power drink, feeling its refreshing flavour drenched in his throat. He almost drank half of it and put the lid back on as he saw Rukawa going back to the gym, leaving him behind.
Sendoh took in the time to stare at the opened door to the gym and pushed himself off of the sink and went inside as well to gather his things. He stepped inside, noting his wet rubber shoes on the floor and gathered his belongings with one hand, pausing to look at the now empty and quiet gym. His eyes caught sight of Rukawa who was on one bench, a pen and clipboard on one hand, seemingly reading and writing something. Sendoh took in the moment to stare at the younger Rukawa… he knew being Captain is not easy, since he had been as well for a solid year. And Rukawa might be undergoing the same dilemma as he is. He didn't quite take him as someone who could actually 'lead' as with the likes of his former Captain, Uozumi or Shohoku's Akagi and even Shoyo's Fujima or Kainan's Maki.
He saw Rukawa more of as a standard 'attack weapon', a scoring machine, a demon on court as Maki once said. A small forward any point guard such as him could ever asked for. When he passes, he's made certain that the ball would be put in the basket rather surely. Sendoh's willing to bet that Rukawa would gladly exchange his position back to an ordinary player if he could.
Sendoh's mind suddenly shifted to his 'resolve'. He wondered if this is the right time—its just him and Rukawa after all in the gym. If he tells him now… maybe it'll soon be over. Maybe he'd get socked on the face, or looked upon with disgust, but somehow… it'll be over and done with. And he'd have the liberty of unloading a feeling he thought he has been carrying with him for the past two years. He just had to remind himself; no expectations, no disappointments. Act without expectations.
He gulped involuntarily and braved the circumstance. But… how? 'Just tell him, dammit.' His mind reprimanded him like a mother. Sendoh dumped a sigh and exhaled a bit—sending a few of his 'fringes' flying. He was about to take a step forward when Rukawa stood up, put the clipboard inside his duffel bag and packed his things in a hurried pace, not noticing the presence of Sendoh near the gym door. Only when he turned to leave, he paused on his track, seeing the taller player still there. Rukawa wondered why the heck Sendoh is still around, he honestly thought he left right after giving him a bottle of drink.
Rukawa stared at the taller and older Sendoh, drenched in sweat and looking like someone who jogged all the way from Ryonan to Shohoku. He pondered his presence yet it brought about a feeling of something akin to calmness as well. Must be because Sendoh's quite a familiar figure to him.
"Uh… you're leaving?" Sendoh queried stupidly. It was obvious. Rukawa simply snorted and walked towards him—the light switches were actually situated behind Sendoh. The older guy waited in anticipation as Rukawa closed in the distance between them-five steps, four, three, two… a pause.
Sendoh thought he had been nailed on his position; his eyes seemingly glued at Rukawa who was just a half arm's length away. He could pull him closer if he wanted to but he reminded himself to observe conduct. Sendoh's eyes widened when Rukawa lifted an arm and his index finger. His eyes flickered to his right as Rukawa's arm brushed past him and pressed the switches off one-by-one.
The lights to the gym went out one-by-one and when there's only one light left, Rukawa paused and turned to the exit and started walking away. Only then Sendoh dumped a sighed of—relief. He thought their proximities were rather a bit compromising that for the first time, he honestly felt his chest race and his ears burned. Sendoh scratched his head, slid the gym door closed and went outside.
He saw Rukawa releasing the chains off his bike. Rukawa placed his bag inside the basket placed in front of his bike and stuff the chain locks in it as well. Rukawa then, hopped on his bike and was starting to pedal away when the school guard approached him.
"Did you lock the gym?" Rukawa shook his head. "No—there's still someone in there." Rukawa muttered lowly. The guard seemed perplexed.
Sendoh upon hearing that fished for his wallet. "Uh—no-no, I closed the door but did not lock it, sir." A pause. The guard flicker a light at Sendoh who raised a hand to try and blocked it since it is being focus straight into his face.
Sendoh lifted an ID. "Uh—my visitor's pass. I believe my ID is still with you?" He muttered and the guard approached Sendoh, took the visitor's pass and nodded, remembering him now. Sendoh smiled. The guard handed him his Ryonan ID. Sendoh exhaled in relief but his eyes partly batted at Rukawa who was simply looking at him rather… amusingly.
Sendoh wondered if Rukawa flippantly spoke what he said awhile ago. He wondered if Rukawa actually tried to… pull on a joke or something. Sendoh's mind further wandered off when he also thought that-could it be that Rukawa is trying perhaps to 'console' him for his one-point loss in their one-on-one match awhile ago? Sendoh mused it must be wishful thinking of him, but he thought it kind of felt… good.
Rukawa pedaled away as Sendoh exited the premise of Shohoku casting one last nod at the guard. He took note how Rukawa seemed to be pedaling a bit slowly. Sendoh felt his bag strap and started walking after Rukawa.
"H-hey, Rukawa wait." Sendoh muttered, clearing his throat. Rukawa did not pause but turned his head around and saw Sendoh brisked walking towards him. Only then he stopped when they came across an intersection. Rukawa placed a leg down as Sendoh was finally able to caught up with him. Rukawa stared at Sendoh without the spikes. He took note of Sendoh's cobalt blue eyes as the lamp post shone down on him and his almost well-chiseled jaw, his tall and athletic frame. Sendoh can sure be a prime athlete if he chooses to pursue the sport.
"Ryonan's that way." Rukawa muttered monotonously, pointing towards the opposite direction. He did so just in case Sendoh seemed—lost or something. Sendoh looked back and nodded. He knew of course. He smiled to Rukawa's confusion. "Y-yeah, I know. I…" A pause. He cleared his throat and felt his hand on his umbrella. The pedestrian lit green, Rukawa hopped on the bike when he heard Sendoh affirmed he knew his way back and started pedalling away. Sendoh could only look as Rukawa inched further and further away from him, and in that dark, indigo-sky night, Sendoh defied his feeling of unsureness.
Rukawa was about to turn left when he almost lost balance and turned around to his surprise. His eyes widened when Sendoh institutively caught up with him and his bike, holding the metal below his seat to his disbelief. "Rukawa, I…" A pause. Sendoh smiled and huffed, catching his breath. His eyes mellowed down as he held on the metal bar underneath Rukawa's seat.
"I'm sorry but… can we talk…please?"
Rukawa didn't know what made him agree to Sendoh's plea. All he knew at that moment is that, there is this person, at this evening, and the pale crescent moon shining like bright claw in the night sky. As he looked up, he saw a blanket of stars that stretched to infinity.
Sendoh's fears will be soon realised as he looked up to the sky, he was welcomed by countless stars, constellations, and the moon. They'd all be accompanying him as he declares tonight. To him, the starry night is a time of comfort and peace. Living far away from the city, he is greeted by a such sight. The serenity and quietness of the nearby trees swaying in the gentle breeze and the sound of crickets at night. Sendoh thought it granted him time to do something about his resolve and maybe, reflect on it as well, but most importantly, it also gave him time to set dreams for the future… if ever there will be, for him and the latter.
Its always a mantra to learn to love without conditions. Talk about things without illness or bad intentions, give without reason—but most of all, care for people without any expectations. Sendoh guess its almost normal to expect more from others because people (like him) would be willing to that much for them. Yet, it doesn't work that way. The universe doesn't always work that way.
They found themselves sitting atop a grassy slope, overlooking a shallow river; the moon reflecting on it like washed canvass painting. They had an ample space between them; Rukawa to Sendoh's left and his bike sprawled on the grass. Sendoh threw in a gaze at Rukawa who was simply sitting with two of his hands behind his back for support, his lanky long legs stretched onto the grass, eyes darting up towards the sky, probably enthralled as well to see the millions of stars hovering above them like blanket in the night. If Sendoh could paint a picture, he knew he'd paint what he's seeing now.
"S-sorry for taking your time…" Sendoh started, feeling the uneasiness crashing over him. Rukawa simply looked at him and snorted. Sendoh smiled almost wistfully and looked up at the stars as well. His mind caught back to what Fukuda said to him a few weeks ago.
'It's a good place, when all you have is hope and not expectations.' He almost wondered if Fukuda is born with a gold intuition because it literally ended up with him in a place such as tonight, with the person he has feelings for, and carrying with him is 'hope' that everything would be alright—only that it seems presumably as an expectation; and Fukuda reminded him not to.
Confessing. Its like a road that leads to nowhere but all he wants to do is go there. And so he goes. "I honestly do not know how to say it but I'll say it anyway…" Sendoh started, as he felt his fingers grabbed a fistful of grass.
Rukawa slowly turned to his right—pondering. But, there is this slight feeling of unsettlement he just cant pinpoint. Its making him uncomfortable. Sendoh heaved a sigh and turned to his left, eyes filled with warmth and something else Rukawa had not seen before.
"The thing is… I think I like you." Sendoh paused and dared to meet the eyes of Rukawa who was simply looking back at him as if trying to digest each word. "It's the scary kind of like." Sendoh muttered when he saw confusion in Rukawa's eyes. "I didn't even try to love you… it just happened." He cleared his throat when he saw Rukawa gasped.
"And I'm saying this because I'm not sure what scares me more, that you will never start loving me, or that I will never stop loving you."
The night breeze blew by, sending the branches of the trees and leaves swaying. Sendoh missed the flinched in Rukawa's hand. The silence held on like forever. Its like how hope keeps everyone breathing just to kill everyone else in the end. Sendoh wondered if he said his admission in the right manner.
'Damn.' Sendoh muttered as he punched himself inwardly. He waits for Rukawa to come at him, socked him up at his face, kick him, spit on him or whatever and leave him bleeding on the grass.
Rukawa's eyes was obscured by his fringes, everything suddenly felt like a blur. Sendoh… loves him? Sendoh just confessed. He wondered briefly if Sendoh's just drunk or on medication. But the solemnity and serenity in his voice and his words—they don't seem to come from someone with issues. To Rukawa, it all seemed like honest feelings. He felt his fingers dug into the soil.
"I don't."
Sendoh blinked, looked when Rukawa responded. Slowly, the stoic boy peered from beneath his fringes. "I don't… feel the same way."
"Y-yeah. I… figured." Sendoh blankly responded. And then there were daggers. Sendoh folded both of his knees half-way and placed his arms atop. He smiled… wistfully, staring longingly at the river before him.
"Guess… we're not playing anymore, huh."
Rukawa contemplated before answering. "Why not?"
Sendoh blinked, surprised at Rukawa's answer, he looked to his left and was met by Rukawa's almost unperturbed gaze. "Well… because, I mean…" Sendoh trailed off, lost for words. He was trying to say that he just confessed his affections at him. And maybe, he'd hug him instead of blocking him during their one-on-ones. Rukawa simply exhaled softly and shrugged.
"Your honesty, its not weakness…" He paused. It was Sendoh's turn to be surprised. "It takes courage to stay delicate in a world this cruel." Rukawa muttered lowly—his eyes darting to his right, meeting Sendoh's almost forlorn ones.
"Besides… you deserve someone better." Rukawa uttered in the softest voice. Barely audible, but Sendoh heard it.
Sendoh tried to push the wall again. "What if… I need you because I know I deserve you?"
Rukawa's hand slightly flinched, feeling the soft grass beneath his palm. Sendoh was… Sendoh seemed determined; like his love almost recognizes no barriers.
Rukawa stared at him straight-on. Sendoh seemed to do the same. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason behind this madness. "What I'm saying is that, you are not a back-up plan." Rukawa stated—for the last time, rather clearly.
Sendoh scoffed lightly, nodded and looked back at the river. "Maybe. Rukawa… I know I'm not the one you are looking for, but I'll try my best to be the one who deserve you."
Rukawa felt his throat tightened—what is it with Sendoh's words that just seemed to… leap hurdles just to arrive with hope in its destination. Sendoh stared back at him, and Rukawa just kept looking at a distance. "You cant force yourself to stop… caring for someone, but you can tell yourself that you deserve better." Rukawa ended his statement with a look that almost plead Sendoh to comprehend.
Sendoh's not the first person who came up with him and 'confessed'; there's been a lot of others as well, he's not new to this—yet, strangely enough, Sendoh was the first person to make him feel that he's going to probably feel sorry one day, when he lost him.
Rukawa involuntarily swallowed, his thoughts almost gripping him. Must be because of the weather, or maybe the fact that he's also tired from practice and 'captain' duties. Rukawa honestly… didn't know.
Sendoh wistfully tugged his lips upwards. "Well, will you allow me to show you then how much I care?"
Rukawa felt his ears warmed—he didn't know, but he felt blood creeping into his face and the thing is, it's the first time. He felt his lips quivered. Sendoh's words brought about a feeling akin to something he couldn't quite comprehend yet. But he thought it would probably linger. And it almost scares him. He thought of what to say… but his mind came up with nothing.
In the quietness of the night a gust of wind drifted by, stealing the two boys' attention. The once star-filled night sky draped suddenly over by darker cloud as the first pearls of rain dropped onto the leaves, the grass, the river, onto them…
A sheet of rain passed over them and Rukawa barely thinking found himself hopping on his bike, maneuvering it onto the road and started pedaling away. So much rain was falling that Sendoh was grateful he had an umbrella with him, and as he opened his only shield once again from the downpour, it felt like a memory falling onto his head; the rain, falling once again like a new emotion. His eyes lingered to where he thought he last saw Rukawa rode off his bike, leaving him be. And in that given moment in time, Sendoh felt the rain, the downpour that soothed; like balm to his bruises, bringing relief to his wounds. Still, it left him with scars.
'Rukawa… its ironic that you're almost like this umbrella, you can protect me from tears temporarily, but you can't stop them from coming.'
END (?)
Notes: Gaaah! I know. I hated me. I know. Rukawa, you ass! Explain your puny self on part two! Kidding. No part two for now, hahahah! Starry! Help! Lol! Ariane… I'm sorry! Hahaha! Addicted to SD… I'm soo stressed and you know it!